Initial Perturbation Chapter 3: Settling Time, an evangelion fanfic

I do not own the characters of Neon Genesis Evangelion, nor any other aspects of it. If you doubt me, please take it up with Gainax's lawyers.

Rated T for some references. Not that I think my work could taint anyone twisted enough to read this anyway :)

Initial Peturbation (MkII)

CHAPTER 3 - Settling Time

Misato slouched back on her apartment's sofa, one arm draped lazily over the back while the other nursed a beer. Her cutoff shorts and singlet top felt luxurious now that she could relax in her own home once again. When a presence appeared at the doorway, she was not upset. Mid-afternoon quiz shows like the one currently on had a tendency to make her vaugely depressed.

"What's up, kiddo? Don't tell me you're already packed and ready to go, we just got back."

Asuka looked away and clutched her arm to her side. "No..."

'Uh oh...' Misato sat the can on the ground. Her face softened before the forlorn girl. "What's wrong, Asuka?"

The girl took a moment before looking at her superior. "I...don't want to go back to that dorm." she said quietly.

Misato watched her, her expression not moving a jot. "What happened?"

Asuka shrugged. "Nothing, really. It's just...uncomfortable. I'm the only one in my age and IQ bracket there, and I have to share the cooking room with strangers, and some of the guys...look at me funny..."

Misato put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "You'd have to put up with my drinking - it's my home afterall. And Shinji's my ward, so you can't just order him around all the time."

"Are you sure about that?" Asuka raised a questioning eyebrow.

"I take your point. But if I say stop it, I expect you to behave."

"Okay..."

"Alright then. Oh boy, as if I didn't have enough paperwork. You'd better not change your mind again, you hear?"

Asuka nodded. "Of course!"

Misato stood up and walked over to the teen, taking her in her the surprised girl into a bear-hug.

"Welcome home, Asuka-chan."

Arriving early for class, Asuka dropped her bag at her desk while chatting away to Hikari. "Of course, my dorm room was way too squishy. You Japanese have no concept of personal space, do you? How could I possibly live in one of those kennels? I can barely fit seven pairs of shoes in the cupboard!" Asuka told her.

Hikari raised her eyebrows in mild surprise. "So you're living with Ikari now?"

"Well...I'm living with Misato, and Shinji's also living with Misato." said the redhead with a shrug.

"Wow. I guess Nerv really is like one big happy family, if you're comfortable with living in the same house as him. I guess you must feel like he's your brother, since you're under the same roof...and you're not..."

Asuka cut the brunette off sharply. "The synchronisation training did that to us, yes."

The class-rep narrowed her eyes. "So it's just friendly, huh?"

"Of course."

"Has he tried to kiss you?" +

Asuka balked. "WHAT? Hikari, geez! Have some decency please! No he hasn't, thankyou very much!"

"I bet you've thought about it." She said, not letting the skepticism escape her expression.

"Shut up, it's not like that!"

"Well, he's not bad looking. Not to mention, he's a bit of a sweety..."

"He's a big fat dork and a useless wimp...and a pervert!"

"Really? Why, what does he do?"

"Well, he was staring at me as I slept!"

"He came into your room?"

"Well...no...we were kinda in the same room..."

"WHAT!"

"It was for training!"

"Wow...what was it like?"

"I dunno...it was just like camping, you know? We'd wait until Misato was asleep and chat about stuff."

"Are you still going to do that?"

"What? No! I'm getting my own room, of course."

Hikari cupped her chin in her hands. "One happy family, huh?"

"Uhm...yeah..." Asuka looked away. 'It might be...I can't remember any more. Not when it was still like a family...'

"She's staying at your HOUSE?" Touji asked incredulously, loud enough to distribute the piece of gossip around the classroom and prompting a class-wide murmer. Shinji shrunk into his desk, mortified as questioning eyes looked at him.

The light glinted on Kensuke's glasses as he fixed Shinji with a penetrating stare. "A proffessional, beautiful, SINGLE woman, an exotic girl from a far distant land, and Shinji. Man, they're really rewarding you for the Eva fights!"

Touji grinned and spread his arms. "Nerv is such a great organisation!" he enthused.

"Yeah, keep it up and you'll get the whole harem!"

The jock shook his head in admiration. "It's just like an anime series..."

Kensuke grabbed Shinji's shoulders. "Please, you gotta tell me! What do I haf'ta do to be a pilot?"

Touji scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Does this mean you rejected Ayanami? Ey, Shinji?"

Said pilot ducked under his desk to evade Touji's direct questioning technique (involving a bear hug) and escaped to the refuge of the toilet block.

"That Eva's training has made him quick!" Kensuke observed sagely.

The lunch bell rang. Everyone woke up. Even the teacher perked up. 'Tuna time!'

"Hey Shinji. What's for lunch?"

Shinji frowned. "I thought it was your turn today."

"Oh yeah..." Asuka admitted. "Hmm. Hang on a sec." She rummaged about in her backpack. "Here. You should probably carry your own, you know."

Toji's grin imposed itself, making him seem much closer to poking his head into Asuka and Shinji's faces than was actually possible...or safe. "Hey, your new wife is pretty pushy, huh Shinji?"

Both teens reddened and, more pertinately, tensed. "DIE!" they shouted synchronously while executing a dual uppercut to the unprepared jock's chin.

Kensuke picked Toji up off the floor. "Perhaps a ceremonial blade would be more appropriate wayt o commit suicide? Even the Tokyo-3 coroner isn't going to argue with the Red Devil."

Touji gingerly touched his rapidly swelling jaw. "Man, it was bad enough with just her, but now she's got Shinji in on the act it's actually dangerous."

"I know, Asuka's uppercut alone would be survivable, but simultaneous..."

"Where'd he learn to do that, anyway? Is she teaching him?"

"A disturbing possibility, my friend. I suppose the human race will survive the Angel's attacks, even if we don't survive their friendship...is that an honourable sacrifice?"

"I'll never understand you otaku." sighed the jock.

"Just pray they never earn Dual Wield."

Shinji opened his lunch tin just a crack, out of curiousity. The smell assaulted him.

"A-Asuka...what is this?"

"Bratwurst. Schwein nacken-steak. Saurkraut."

Shinji blinked at his meat-filled bento box, sweat drop growing large on his brow. "Aren't you supposed to put them into a sandwich first?"

"Look Third Child, you can either eat this food of the gods or you can complain and eat my fist! Shut up, and eat up!"

"Err, any salad"

Asuka sniffed and brought a pair of small plastic containers from her bag. "Potato salad."

The boy gupled. "Uh...hai. Anno...did we bring any drinks?"

Asuka narrowed her eyes. "If I'm going to be cooking twice a week, you're going to have to learn to stomach real food. Got it?"

"Yes ma'am." He cringed internally. 'Am I going to die of heart disease before the next Angel battle?'

The two left the classroom, nominally in search of a good spot to sit, actually in search of a location where Touji and Kensuke wouldn't be. Much to Shinji's chagrin. 'Maybe if she can find some other friends, I won't have to neglect my own so much.'

And idea formed in his mind. Bravely, he launched his opening gambit; "H-hey, you haven't really met Rei properly yet, have you?"

Asuka responded distractedly; not having cooked much before, her marinated pork had come out tough. "What? No, I guess not...its like she's never around."

"Really? She's around...but she's so quiet its hard to, you know, notice her."

She raised a cynical eyebrow. "Oh really? Sounds like you've been noticing her a lot. Something you're not telling me, Third?"

Shinji held up his hands defensively. "No, nothing like that. Hey, there she is. We should go over and say hello."

"Hmmph, well I suppose she will be working with us once her Eva's fixed...even if she'll be superfluous a good team can always use backup. Let's go." she said grudgingly.

The First Child watched impassively as they approached her.

Shinji waved as they approached. "Hey, Ayanami. Uhm, I'll introduce Asuka to you properly this time...I kind of stuffed up last time."

"You did not introduce us at Captain Katsuragi's home."

"That's...what I meant."

Asuke pushed in front of Shinji, chest puffed and head hel high. "Hello First Child, I'm Asuka Langley Sohryu, as you know. Let's be pals."

Rei inclined her a little. "Why?"

"What do you mean, 'why'? Because it would be convenient, right?"

"I will if I am ordered to."

Asuka's eyes went wide and she actually took a small step back. "Freak!"

Shinji held his arms out placatingly. "Uh, Asuka she's kind of reserved alright? Hey Rei, it would be beneficial if we all worked as a team, right?"

"Beneficial?" Rei queried.

Taken aback, Shinji looked away. "Uh, to...t-to my father, I mean."

The albino gave him a penetrating stare. "That may be so."

The boy's eyes darkened momentarily, before tilting his head amiably. "So we should work at being a team, and teams work better if there is friendship, right?"

Rei considered this momentarily as Asuka cocked her head to the side, considering Shinji's attempt to influence the strange girl.

"I will cooperate with your social bonding. I do not know how to proceed. I require instruction."

Asuke held her hands up in the air. "Me, me, me. Okay First Child, here's a tip; act interested in other people and not just yourself. Try asking how I am, for example."

Rei nodded. "How are you."

"Bored with stupid company, thank you very much. C'mon Shinji, this is a waste of time."

"Wait...hey Ayanami, why don't you come with us? We're going to find somewhere to eat lunch."

Asuka frowned at him as Rei wavered. "I...accept. I will observe your interaction and learn."

"Don't get any weird ideas! Fine, come on you deaf-mute." she shot Shinji a glare, 'Are you happy now?'

"Uhm...so...let's go, huh?" Shinji said nervously. He wasn't used to mediating, to say nothing of organising social arrangements, and it made him acutely aware of his own ineptness. Even at something so trivial as eating lunch. They set off toward the oval in search of shade, Asuka leading the way.

"Uh, Ayanami..." he said off to his side, sotto voice. "Do you eat German food?"

"Well Katsuragi, that's quite a brood you have there. Although if I'd known you wanted children, I'm sure I could have assisted."

The Captain sneered at Agent Kaji's comment. "Phpah. Even when Ritsuko takes in strays she has standards."

The man with the ponytail held a protective palm ove rhis heart. "I'm hurt...you're talking about stray cats, right? Still, it's never too late..."

"Yes it is."

"You've always said what you've thought. Rarely what you mean."

"Don't pretend to be an expert on 'me'...that was a long time ago."

"And so the great cycle of life continues."

"Look, mister worldly-wise-ass, butt out. We had our chance. It's over."

"I open my eyes in the mornings and see nothing but possibilities."

"And some floozy, no doubt."

"Look. There's no need to be...catty."

"So what is it, Kaji? I'm fighting off aliens as a day job in between looking after some needy brats...does that make me a more attractive woman? If so, those are some weird fetishes you have."

"I do like to specialise. I any case, I have always been attracted to opportunity. To find out the truth. About second impact. About you."

Misato let out a dry cackle. "And what makes you think I know any truth? Like Nerv was founded on a single moral or a filament of integrity. Go elsewhere Kaji. There's nothing but dry, dead bones here."

"Always the stubborn one. And yet, here I am, still making my pitch for my lady's heart. More specifically, my pitch launches from Vinnie's at 7pm."

"That Italian restaurant? Hmm...you're not exactly broke, are you?"

"Guardian to the Second Child was hardly a common babysitter's job."

That caused her to think. 'Parenting tips from Kaji? Hmm...'

"Well...okay then. But you're paying."

"Of course. And don't bring the kids."

She gave him a cheeky grin. "But I'm certain Asuka would be on her best behaviour...after all, she's not in your care anymore. You've always liked them fiesty." she said, teasingly.

Kaji gave her a pained look. "Please, don't joke about it. Not with that one."

A darkened room, secured with silence and enormity. Here was safe beyond need, a haven from centuries. A seated man addressed a boy.

"The Eighth will surface?"

The boy replied replied. "Currents of the netherworld shall buoy him up. Does this suit your 'scenario'."

"Despite our mutually beneficial arrangement you refuse to clarify further than plain fact. We grow quite weary of your wordplay, Tabris." the seated man grumbled.

"Perhaps your view of what I am to you is distorted. I have been assisting you as it suits me, and vice versa to be sure. Inform Nerv through your usual channels, if you would."

"Still, your confirmation of Sandalphon's millenial journey is also confirmation of the validity of our plans. Would you congratulate us and see clear the path to Instrumentality?"

"Your celebration would be premature. None can be certain of what fate awaits us all. Not the First, and not the Last."

"Hmmph. As an imortal being you surely plan on the scale of millenia, yet you profess uncertainty at this late date."

"Your race is far from trivial. The whiles of a single human may hold sway over your and my own destinies, and a single human's time is but short."

"We will endeavor to minimise distracted influences. In the meantime, you will alert us if you find any evidence of treachery from any of our concerns. Especially Ikari."

"Which?"

"What? Gendo Ikari, of course. Is there another? Oh, the son."

"He pilots your champion, your avatar to wield against us."

"The boy is a boy. As Ikari is out puppet, the boy is his. Gendo Ikari is the one who might defy us."

"Indeed. He has the capacity to surprise us all. Even you, chairman. A stronge motivation can achieve great things. That, sir, is free will. A power I thought posessed by all of the lillum...until recently."

Keel sat for a moment, absorbing the word-encased volley. "My past has no reckoning on the future, only my now."

Kaoru shurgged politely with a grin. "Of course."

"You refuse to be anything other than enigmatic. Very well, if that is your way. Even if it is unbecoming of the Chosen."

The boy's grin grew wider. "But it is becoming my current form, is it not?"

"Your present form is a simulacrum. It has no bearing on your actions."

"Then why does it on yours?"

Keele's mechanised fist clenched. "Damn you. Can't you at least ignore the temptation of an old man?"

"Are you asking forgiveness for your folly? Any redemption you find for that can only be your own. Instrumentality will only take your guilt at the cost of your individual soul."

"A price that will be paid."

"By all your kind."

"So be it. Ours is a species of guilt and sin."

Tabris looked up at the darkened heavens. "So it seems."

The Angel brewed over the man and his chosen path. 'When guilt is so strong, that living with it is the punishment...and refusing to let the guilt go even in individual death. Perhaps I was born to know this man's torture. It seems that my decision is clear.'

"Shinji, pay attention." Ritsuko sternly commanded, her school mistress personality making an appearance.

"Uhm, yes ma'am." he replied vacantly, barely affected.

Misato folded an arm around her back and turned to her colleague. "The kids really get bored during these tests, Rits. Couldn't we give them a computer game or a book or something?"

Ritsuko smiled without taking her eyes from her display. "Are you asking for entertainment for the kids or for yourself, hmmm?"

"Well, as an expert tactician, watching numbers rise and drop isn't exactly what I signed up for. It might have been interesting, oh I dunno, the first hundred times..."

"The MAGI make it far too easy for you, giving you pilot status reports any time you need them. And who do you think gives the MAGI the information to do that, huh?"

Misato winked and tapped her temple. "Ah, but its not the MAGI that can conduct the battles, right?"

"Lets see...now who came up with the plan for the last battle? Oh that's right, it was Kaji. The Second Child's ex-guardian and current gopher for the Commander. Funny, I thought our Operations Director should have had something to do with it..."

"Oh shut up, remember Project Yoshima? That was pure moi!"

Ritsuko smirked. "Speaking of which, the JSSDF has just increased their bill for their broken toy. 'Unmet research and development time', I think was their latest excuse."

"Those idiots, if we hadn't acquired that thing their research program would be just as dead as the rest of us." said, Misato, holding her hands in the air.

"Hmmm, but try telling their accountants and middle management that. They sure are grumpy with us."

The Captain pointed an accusing finger. "Hey, you're just trying to avoid my original question!"

"What question was that?" asked the Doctor, looking away innocently.

"Don't play distraction games with me. Just what is it the Pilots are doing in these tests?"

"They're...immersing themselves with the Evas."

"Immersing how? Like, pretending they are the Eva?"

Tapping her jaw, Ritsuko wondered how to explain a concept she'd never experienced. "Maybe more like communing with the Evas. Its like a bonding."

Misato frowned in thought. "Wait, are you saying that the Evas have...ego? Id?"

"Uhm...not exactly."

"Or is it like bonding with a pet? Wait a minute, pets are normally alive. Except pet rocks. What's the deal?"

"And Tamagotchies. You know Misato, sometimes people outweight their usefulness when their ambition pushes them outside of their useful zone." said the faux blonde, on the edge of irritability.

"Oh please, you think I'm nosey because I want a promotion?"

"I'm saying...that we should tread a little more delicately."

"Are you threatening my job?"

"Misato...you're threatening mine. Please, no more questions."

"Oh, for christ's sake." Misato deflated. "How are they doing?"

Ritsuko visibly relaxed. "Okay...Shinji's really catching up with Asuka. Think she'll be upset if he catches her?"

"Hmm, not sure. They'll probably get competitive, which will have ups and downs...but they seem to have a healthy relationship of sorts."

"I heard. Trying to become a grandmother are we?"

Misato jerked her head around at that comment. "WHAT! Oh, shut up. I mean, they're pretty good friends. There've been jokes in Section Two that we only need two-thirds the field agents with those two joined at the hip."

"That's good. Shinji seems much happier now."

"Yah...you don't think they're...?"

"You're their guardian. You tell me, Captain."

"Of course, the mother is always the last to know. Wouldn't it be kind of...incestuous?"

"Genetically there is no problem. Besides, the incest taboo is purely practical, so it doesn't figure for those two."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Ritsuko shrugged. "To be perfectly frank, their life expectancies are limited simply because of their extreme working conditions. They should take their fun where they can find it. Even if the incest taboo were staring them in the face."

"I suppose so. Eeuuuurgh, feels weird even thinking about it. How's Rei?"

"Same as always. Aways making the slightest of increments upwards, a steady creep."

"That doesn't bode well, longer-term."

"The Zero was always intended to be more...experimental. Assuming we survive, the Evas under construction could render it obsolete for combat, and Rei with it."

Misato sighed. "That girl is so far out there...Eva has taken so much of her life. Could that possibility be her reprieve? She could retire...maybe try to lead a normal life. I'm sure Shinji and Asuka would help her...Shinji anyway."

"Something of a casanova, huh?"

"Hah, I doubt that."

"Still, you know what they say about the quiet ones..."

"And of course, you'd know."

Ritsuko let out a sigh. "Yes, I do. Maya, finish up. We're done."

"Yes, sempai."

The Doctor looked up from her screen for the first time during the conversation. "I hope that Rei can escape all this, I really do." she told Misato. 'Of course, escape is a relative term.'

"Hey Pen-Pen! Go fetch my schoolbag." Asuka cried imperiously at the avian anomaly.

Shinji frowned. "You shouldn't treat him like a dog...besides, your bag is too big for him to carry."

Asuka turned her ire at him. "He's more useful than a dog, so why shouldn't I take advantage of that? And he's probably stronger than you, Third Child. Fine, just pick up my pencil-case!"

Pen-Pen tilted his head and headed toward her room. Shinji followed.

"Not you baka! You cook dinner!"

"I hate wednesdays." he grumbled.

"Not my fault you suck at paper-scissor-rock. Idiot. Baka."

Shinji turned toward the kitchen. "Is this because of the martial arts training?"

"Since when do I need a reason to be angry at you, captain idiot!"

He sighed and let his shoulders slump. "I was just telling them how useful your training seemed to be after Ritsuko complemented me."

"Of course anything worthwhile you did had to be attributable to my presence, but now they've ruined everything! Bah!"

"It won't be that bad...you'll be able to learn new stuff too."

"But...it ruins our sessions!"

"Uhm...sorry...but it'd be better with a teacher and Ayanami, won't it?"

"You don't get it, do you? When it was just you and me, I was in charge! It was fun! Now it'll just be another tutorial, a practical with immediate criticism. And you know asian martial artists never smile, never give praise! Only, 'you do this wrong', or 'do it again', or 'no, you don't get it'. Aach!"

"I'm sorry Asuka, I didn't know how much it meant to you..."

"It was my only chance to be..." she paused. "Free, I guess."

Shinji looked down, a shadow cast accross his brow. "Well, we could always just, uhm, practise anyway."

Asuka looked up, brightening visibly. "Hey, that's right. Okay Shinji, and who knows maybe you'll stand a chance against me with some real training. Only a slight one, of course."

She took the proffered case from Pen-Pen's beak vacantly. "Good Penguin." she patted his head.

Shinji smiled. "And we could invite Ayanami too!"

As suddenly as it came, Asuka's good mood dissapated. "I see. Ayanami, huh?"

"Uhm..."

Misato walked in, wrapped in her towel. "Oh, is the marital spat still going? Lighten up guys. It gives me indigestion when you're like this."

"We don't have to invite Ayanami, I thought you'd like to practise with her too."

Misato fished into the fridge for her post-shower beer. "Ooh, a threesome? Way to go, Shinji!"

"Huh?"

Asuka clenched her fists. "Misato, don't give the pervert ideas! Baka."

"What's a 'threesome'?" he asked in confusion.

The girls looked at him in astonishment. "You don't know? What kind of boy are you!"

Shinji shrank back under the girl's regard.

"Hmm, looks like Asuka's more perverted than you are, Shinji. That can't be good."

"Oh shutup!" the two pilots chorused.

"I wonder if Ayanami is less naive than you. It's always the quiet ones, you know."

Shinji looked to the ceiling for some kind of decrypting inspiration. "I'll never understand humans." he murmered while preparing Pen-Pen's meal.

"Okinawa huh?" Touji grinned his widest grin at his two friends, threatening to split his head horizontally.

"I hear there's a great war museum there, with all sorts of American Forces stuff from the wars!" Kensuke chirped excitedly.

"Uhm, yeah." Shinji said as he opened his lunch box. On the plus side, it had been his turn to prepare lunch. On the minus side, he'd had an accident during preparation so naturally he'd given Asuka her normal portion, leaving his lunch a little lean.

Kensuke adjusted his glasses, looking with disdain at the Third Child. "Eva technology must be pretty good these days, huh Touji?" he said ironically.

The jock caught on. "Yeah, to create a robot that looks exactly like Shinji and acts like Ayanami. Maybe they had a personality swap during their Eva testing or something?"

"I think he finally made good on his deal with Asuka and she's taken his soul."

Touji smiled in relief. "So you're finally out of the vampire phase now?"

"I saw her reflection in the changeroom shots we took."

"You took photos of Asuka in the changerooms?" Shinji gasped.

Kensuke beamed happily. "Yup, just after gym class. Want a look?"

"Uhm..." Shinji sweated through his dilemma.

"Looks like he's still got emotions, Ken. Lust, anyway."

"Thats...no, its wrong! I can't. And you shouldn't do that..."

Kensuke looked at him slyly. "Look, my locker's damaged so I need someone to look after these shots where no-one will be able to get them. Your locker is fine, right?"

"Uhm...yeah..."

"Good. Here, no questions asked. You just pay us when you can."

"Kensuke!" Touji warned.

"Alright, fifty percent off."

"Look Kensuke," Touji growled.

"Fine then! They're free, okay Shinji? Just take them."

"Uh...okay, I'l look after them..."

Shinji had a distracted look on his face as he hid the pictures in his lunchbox, not looking but obviously imagining. He finished his lunch and rushed to his locker without even speaking.

"What was that all about, you still feeling guilty about popping him one from ages ago? He gave you a shiner back, you know."

"What do you take me for, Kensuke?"

"A poor businessman?"

"You idiot. Think about it! Number one: once he's addicted, he'll be a return customer, right?"

"Assuming he doesnt get any from her without our assistance."

"That's not a problem, he's still got no nuts. Number two: he's on the inside, man!" Touji exclaimed.

Kensuke pushed his glasses up his brow. "What? Oh right...home shower shots!"

"Bedroom, laundry, the works man!"

"I take it all back, you are a genius among otaku!"

"Heh. And you thought I was just a dumb jock."

Kensuke clasped his hands and grinned creepily. "Excellent! By the way, can you cover my order for extra camera memory?"

"I guess so. Okinawa beach bikinis, here we come!"

"Slippery and wet, with sunny settings! We'll make a fortune!"

Touji sobered, and looked at Kensuke. "Listen, they were only the 'type C' shots, right?"

"Of course! Don't want him to pop a blood vessel and bleed to death."

"Good."

"Besides, the 'type N' shots are worth so much more."

"Kaji!" Asuka trilled.

"Ah, my favorite little girl. How is living with Katsuragi, Asuka?"

"It's not too bad, but Misato is kinda scary sometimes. I'm surprised she got guardianship of us, the way she acts. You knew she wasn't a deviant or something, right?"

"Oh, I know Katsuragi from way back. Her heart is in the right place, even if she is a little soft- hearted to kids and hard-hearted to adults."

"Oh fine. Well, maybe I overreacted...anyway. So why don't you answer my calls?"

"I'm always a little busy these days...forgive me. Often when I get in, you'd be asleep or at school."

"You could give me your mobile number you know. Hmmm?"

"That's...my work phone. It would be inappropriate and might get me into trouble."

"Hmm, I suppose. You're so mysterious, Kaji. Hey, you'll take me shopping right? I need to buy something for my trip."

"Oh, like what?"

"A swimsuit." she tried to hide her smirk.

"Ah...I don't think so."

"Aww, why not?"

"Because I'm an old man, Asuka. People would think I'm your father. That could lead to embarrasing questions."

"You don't look old at all, just a little older than me!"

"Hmm, even so I would feel uncomfortable. You can forgive me that, right?"

Asuka sighed. "I guess so..."

"Make sure you choose a one-piece. It may seem boring to you, but indicates sophistication and maturity."

"But...! Well...fine..." Asuka deflated.

"Well, I'm glad we caught up. I'll have to pop by to look in on you and Shinji sometime. How is he, anyway?"

"What! No, he's a big fat dork. Well, a runty dork anyway."

"Give him a chance Asuka. He has saved the world a couple of times already."

"Yeah yeah..."

"Tell him I said 'hi'. And here's a a little something for you two to spend together. Ice-creams or something."

"I understand that the school is planning on sending the Pilot's class to Okinawa." Fuyutski reported.

"Indeed. This will give us the opportunity to impress our authority over the Pilots. They must come to understand the magnitude of our endeavors." Ikari answered in his trademark style.

"Surely denying them a holiday with their peers will only make them bitter towards us."

"That will be a side-effect of course. However, it is in no-one's interest that they enjoy piloting. It is of no consequence if they dislike us."

"But if it brews rebellion?"

"Then that rebellion will be tailored to meet our needs. With the MAGI we can predict the forms and directions their rebellion will take, and we shall channel it accordingly."

"That is hardly an easy game Ikari - of all things in the universe, the human mind is one of those we understand the least. Isn't this introducing unnecessary risk into the scenario?"

"The alternatives are worse. While appearing to be unaware of their feelings, we will be better able to control their actions. It is not unprecedented."

"I see. We should use this as a chance to test the remote-launch facility. I do think we need to keep at least one pilot at Nerv on standby. Perhaps a rotating roster using our high-speed shuttle-copters?"

"We cannot afford to make the Pilots feel too pampered or important."

Fuyutski shook his head slowly in mild disgust. "In spite of their burden? Tampering with the happiness of children is low, especially that of your own son."

"My son's happiness is not my concern."

"No."

"His and everybody else' survival is."

Fuyutski let out a long sigh. "Yes, it is."

Author's Notes:

Thanks to those who review this fanfic, I am pleased to make acquaintance with others with...similar senses of humour.

Please bear with this chapter, it is all setup and normal giant-robot battle service will be resumed shortly.

I have taken liberties with someone else's idea in the following omake, I apologise if I have stepped on anyone's toes. Still, it was too good to resist...flattery is the sincerest form of plagiarism...

/ Omake #3 (with apologies to the original creators of this...idea...) /

Asuka rifled through Kaji's desk, searching for information she could use against Misato in her battle for the rogue's heart. Opening a draw, she shifted things about until something caught her eye.

"What's a condom pack doing in here? He's not seeing anyone right now, right?"

She read the contents of the pack incredulously;

"A.T. Field Condom (orange): Does the protecting while you do the penetrating...huh?"

"Eva Brand Condom (purple): It's big, it's purple and it▓s tough...why not red?"

"Sonic Knife Condom (blue): Penetrate your Angel's Core safely...now that's just rude!"

"Evan-Jelly-On (lubricant): Softens the First Impact...weird..."

"Oh Asuka. Hey, what are you doing over there?" Kaji asked the teen.

"Uhm...I...it isn't..." Asuka panicked with her hands in the nookie jar.

The Agent raised an eyebrow when he saw what was in her hands. "Hmm. My place was closer than the chemist's, huh?"

-fin-