Initial Perturbation Chapter 8: Imbalance, an evangelion fanfic

I do not own the characters of Neon Genesis Evangelion, nor any other aspects of it. So I'm told.

Rating: T - a fair bit of swearing (this should probably be rated higher)

Initial Peturbation

CHAPTER 8 - Imbalance

Dull amber light filtered through stinging eyes. The hatch cracked, assaulting him with harsh white. Purple hair cascaded around him, soft wet cheeks pushing against his face.

He couldn't hear his own voice, but he spoke. 'I want to go home...take me home, Misato...'

Awareness slowly intruded on Shinji's perfect serenity. As his eyes cracked open, the boy felt a mild regret for the blissful state he was leaving. Another unfamiliar ceiling.

"Hmm?" he heard a voice say. "Oh, baka. You're awake."

Asuka's face appeared above him. Shinji blinked to see her unsmiling expression.

"Asuka?"

She regarded him critically. "Are you okay?"

Shinji paused for a moment, seeing how he felt. He couldn't remember any critical wound...in fact he couldn't remember a whole lot about the battle right now.

"Yeah."

"Good." the redhead said matter-of-factly. She turned and left the hospital room, pulling the door closed behind her.

"Huh?" Shinji stared after her in shock. "What...what's wrong?"

The hospital was adjacent to a parkland with a small river running through it. Asuka powered along a path, picked at random, to destination unknown. Warm sunlight lighted the bright day, a fact lost on her. She would be doing the same in a torrential downfall. At least she wouldn't have to avoid all the happy families with their hyperactive kids.

She jogged when she felt she could no longer sprint, reaching the pain barrier and giving in. She walked the rest of the way to an unoccupied bench and sat, breathless.

She looked up at the burning sun, staring at it for s brief moment, tempted to keep staring and burn her eyesight. Sweat trickled down her face, but her dry eyes continued to stare.

'What's wrong with me? Don't I have feelings like the rest of the pathetic race? If I have feelings for him, why aren't I relieved for him? Why aren't I with him, when it hurt so much when he cried for Rei?'

She leant back against the backrest, her hair becoming entangled with an overhanging leafy plant.

'I can't trust him...to take care of himself. I can't trust myself to save him. I can't trust him to only want me...I can't trust myself to only want him...'

'I can't trust Kaji...is he against Nerv? Against me? Does he have feelings for Misato, or are they just using each other? Is there any difference?'

'Katsuragi...I can't trust her like a sister. She can't be my mother. Maybe a commander, maybe a friend, but no more. Sheisst."

'I can trust Rei...to be herself. She can't learn from me properly, though. Or to be normal enough for me to trust her like I need to.'

'Hikari? She can't understand...she's too normal, with a normal crush on a normal guy at a normal school in a normal world. I can trust her to be normal...I like that. But that's all...'

'I can trust Nerv to look after me. I can trust Nerv to give me purpose, and to need me. That's all I can trust. Only Nerv. No-one in it, not the people, but the job. I am an Eva Pilot! I can trust in Eva, I can only trust myself!'

"Dammnit!"

She closed her eyes and saw him begging. Begging Rei to help him. Like a frightened animal, he would cling to whoever was there for him. "Rei, Rei, Rei..." she whispered softly.

"What what what?" Rei queried equally softly.

"Huh! Wondergirl! What are you doing!"

"Following you. Are you so hot stuff right now?"

"Wrong term! 'Hot stuff' is not a status, it's a...description."

"I see. Are you cool?"

"You want to ask me if I'm alright, okay? That's the normal thing to do. Slang is for less serious situations. Look, just follow my lead with slang from now-on. You haven't got the hang of it yet."

"You got it. Are you okay?"

Asuka flung her arms in the air. "I'm fine, okay? Fine!"

Rei raised an eyebrow. "You are not with Shinji-chan."

Asuka's look hardened. "Impressive deduction skills there, First Child."

"He is confused, and miserable. You are also less than happy. Would I be right in drawing a relationship between the two?"

Asuka shot her an annoyed look. "Yes Rei, we're both not happy."

Rei pursed her lips slightly. "Would it be inappropriate if I asked for your help?"

Asuka looked at her, puzzled. "Help? What with?"

"I am being relocated to an apartment in your building. We'll be flat-mates."

"No, we're not in the same flat." Asuka said automatically. "Uhm...sure I'll help. But you should get Shinji-baka if you need any heavy lifting done."

Rei let a shadow of confusion cross her face. "Would it be appropriate to ask for his help also?"

Asuka's brow furrowed. "I guess..."

"Awesome-sauce. I will ask him on our way back."

Asuka grimaced at her choice of words, but said nothing. 'Just like that...I'm thinking about him like I was before. Is anything really different? I don't understand...emotions suck.'

"Well well Ryouji. What have you gotten yourself into this time?"

"As much as I'd like to believe this was a social call, I doubt you invited me here to discuss pleasantries."

"Aww, come on. You're always happy to play when Misato is around. Aren't I good enough?"

"Perhaps you're too good."

"Hmm. Flattery will lengthen your life expectancy."

"I've always thought so."

"Well," Ritsuko dragged on her cigarette and crushed the burnt tip on her hello-kitty ash tray. "shall we get down to it, then?"

Kaji frowned. "I'd be happy to beat around the bush for longer."

Ritsuko sighed. "You're more fun as a cocky man of mystery. 'Serious Kaji' just doesn't work."

The agent waited silently, unwilling to tip his hand.

"The MAGI secure line was assailed by a sophisticated (and largely automated, I might add) hacking project. Yours."

A bead formed on Kaji's forehead. Adrenaline pumped as his heart-rate increased. He felt a little drunk. 'Damn...did that little brat turn me in? No...Asuka...would she sell me out? To Nerv...?'

He let none of this marr his cool features.

"The truth behind Nerv, I presume? Second Impact? Adam? Eva? Of course, working in the Second Branch and directly with Gendo must have given you some hints. But you're impatient. Typical male."

'She's toying with me...does this mean I'm dead?' Aloud he said, "Do you have any proof of these accusations, doctor?"

She smirked slightly, tightening the side of her mouth with humourless mirth. "Oh yes. Did you really think your pathetic VPN could hold up against the MAGI? Although I must say, a very impressive attempt. But with the MAGI, your very attempt was as good as a fingerprint and address."

'So she didn't sell me out. That's something. Even if I'm screwed, I'm not betrayed.'

"Of course, you had help."

Kaji looked at the scientist, suddenly wary. 'Here it comes...'

"Funny to think how the three of us are. Friends, lovers, colleagues. Co-conspirators, double-agents, traitors, dupes. What are we today, Ryouji? What is Misato to you? What is she to me, today? And tomorrow? The possibility space goes up massively with three." she stubbed out her spent cigarette and abandoned it to the tray.

Kaji relaxed. He had few cards left to play. The burden of choice was taken from his shoulders. The playful glint returned to his features. "So, Rits. What game are we playing today? I'd hate to sit out a round, but somehow I think you'll keep me in. You need my joker."

Ritsuko smiled. "You are my joker. As of today."

Agent Kaji pulled over a desk chair and faced it's back to the desk. He sat on his facing Akagi. "It's a dangerous game, beautiful. What are the stakes, and what's our limit?"

Ritsuko looked down and to the side, her cat-with-canary smile never wavering. "Your little adrenaline high is over, huh? You do love the thrill of danger, don't you?"

He reached over and took a cigarette from the box on Ritsuko's desk. He took out a lighter from a pocket and lit up. "Like nothing else."

"Hi, Kids." Misato beamed as the three pilots walked into the apartment. "My my, it looks like you've all gotten down and a little dirty. Shinji, you look exhausted...did they make you do all the work?"

Shinji rolled his eyes as he went to the fridge. Brown dust and cobwebs showed against his white dress-shirt (they kept clothes for the pilots in the hospital). Damp patches showed under his arms. He pulled out two cans of cola from the fridge, tossing them at the two girls. He grabbed a can of lemon soda for himself and cracked the tab, drinking in the cold, acid-sweet beverage.

"Hey, close the fridge! Do you want my beer to get warm? Speaking of which, toss me one?"

He smirked silently and complied before coming to the table, where the three females were seated.

"Shinji is my main man. He carried my loot to my pad." Rei announced to the world in general.

Misato chucked as Asuka ranted, "Shut up Wondergirl! I said 'follow my lead' from now on, you're making me look stupid!"

Shinji sniggered. "I think what Rei means to say, Misato, is that she's thankful for my help bringing her stuff to her new apartment. But it was no biggie, there wasn't much stuff."

Asuka nodded. "We did it all in one trip. I think we need to take her shopping again, she's got a bigger wardrobe to fill now."

Misato's eyes lit up. "Shoes? Does she have space for new shoes?"

Asuka nodded in satisfaction. "At least seven pairs."

Shinji smirked. "Only looked like room for three to me."

The Captain and the Second Child shot him a look of doom. "You lack imagination." Misato declared. "Rei. Shoe shopping?"

Rei smiled. "I'm down."

They sat on the couch, idly watching TV. Misato was sleeping off the celebratory beers, and Rei had gone home to the apartment two floors down. Shinji grimly surveyed the space between him and the redhead.

"Things have changed, havent they?" he said sadly.

Asuka looked at him. She nodded slowly, falornly.

Shinji clasped his opposite hand on nothing, away from her sight. "Was it...something I did?"

Asuka sighed and leant her head against the top of the couch back, staring at the ceiling. "No...well...not really."

The boy frowned. "I see...but we're still friends, right?"

The Second Child nodded. "Of course, Shinji. Always. We're always friends."

Shinji's jaw tightened. "Good. Friends. Always...friends." He stood suddenly. Asuka's heart sank as he stormed off to his room. The door slammed shut with a loud whack.

"That's right, baka." she said quietly to the empty room. 'Someone has to watch over your ass when the Angels come.'

"Shinji?"

He rolled over onto his back, shielding his eyes from the light at his doorway. Sleep hung over him.

"Hmm?"

"I'm proud of you Shinji. No matter what they say, Asuka or anyone. Don't die, Shinji-kun."

Shinji froze. He had absolutely no idea what to say or do, so he did nothing.

"I need you here to share my house with me."

Tears threatened his heavy eyes. "Misato..."

"G'night, Shin-kun."

"Hey, Shin-man." Touji beckoned.

Shinji frowned, prefering to be left alone in cleaning the blackboard. "What Touji?" he asked flatly.

The tracksuit-clad athlete sidled up to his quiet friend, who looked at him expectantly through ringed eyes. "Shinji, man. I know thing's aren't great for you right now, what with the Devil..."

Shinji held up a hand. "Stop."

"Well, I know things are bad. But...look, this is massive. I...hey, just come with me to the basketball court okay? I really need to talk with ya."

Shinji sighed mentally. 'Damn...what's he done now? I really don't need this right now...'

Aloud he said, "Alright, but only if you help me with cleaning duty. Hojiro skipped out on me, as usual."

To the pilot's surprise, Touji didn't even scowl. "Yeah, sure." he said absently, as if he had something serious on his mind. He started helping by arranging the desks, clearly lost in thought.

'Whoa...I've never seen him like that.' Shinji pondered as he batted the dusters together. He choked. 'I hate chalk-dust.'

A little while later, with the sun setting the two headed outside. Long shadows moved too quickly against the ashfelt. Touji picked up an abandoned basketball, dribbling it unenthusiastically.

"Is this what you wanted? Touji, you know I'm too short for this. Even Kensuke's better."

The jock smiled ironically at him. "Yeah, but he went home. Look, just catch the ball when I throw it to you. I think better when I'm doing something physical."

Shinji frowned. "How did you discover that one?"

The ball thudded heavily into his hands before Shinji realised the ball had been thrown at him. "Shaddup, smartarse." Touji grated.

Shinji shrugged and belted the ball back at the athlete, who caught it one-handed and tossed it at the nearest ring. It swirled around the edge before coming off the side. "Crap."

"So, c'mon. What's the big deal?" Shinji asked pensively. He'd never seen Touji like this, and it was making him nervous. Nervous enough to forget his own problems, even.

"Aah." Touji grumbled, sitting down with the ball after retrieving it. Shinji did likewise, sitting a few meters accross from him. "Well, this chick from Nerv came to the school and talked to me..."

"Misato came to the school?"

"No, some blonde woman. She was kinda hot, in a MILF kinda way."

"I never did find out what that meant." Shinji muttered.

"Anyway, she-"

"Waitaminute! Was she wearing a lab coat? And had a mole above her lip?"

Touji blinked. "Uhm...she was wearing a business suit, but yeah, I think she had a mole. Name sounds right."

Shinji frowned even more. "Dr. Akagi..."

"Yeah, well she-"

"She wants you to be a pilot."

"Huh? Well, yeah..."

"You. A pilot." Shinji said incredulously.

"Uh..." Touji wasn't sure if he was supposed to be insulted.

Suddenly, Shinji threw his head back. A nervous cackle elicted from his lips, followed by jagged laughter. "Hah Haa! Pilot! Touji, my friend! Pilot! Haaaaah!"

Touji frowned. "Dude, that's not cool. Don't diss me, man."

Shinji giggled. "Hehehehe...Touji...hehehe...no, I'm not...heheh...not...it's just...hehehehe...wrong. It's just so heheheh wrong. Heheh. Damn, what's wrong with me? This isn't funny. Heheh."

"Man...you're screwed up..." Touji stared at the boy, disturbed. "You're freaking me out here."

Shinji smiled at his friend unlevelly. "You should be freaked, Touji my man. Piloting...you said it. It screws you up. Me, Asuka, Rei...we're all crazy. Get out of it. I don't care if you already agreed, ring them and tell them 'hell no'. Better yet, dissapear. With luck, Section 2 isn't watching you yet. Run away!"

Shinji stood, and pulled the jock up off his feet. He turned Touji around and pushed him in the back. "Go now, Touji. GO NOW!"

Touji stood, shoulders slumped. "I thought you'd be happy, man."

"Don't talk, just go!" Shinji pushed him again.

He ignored Shinji's shoves. "I can't quit. I promised."

"I don't care about that shit, GO!"

"I mean," Touji said sadly, "I promised my sister. I rang her, and told her she's going to the Nerv hospital. That doctor woman, she told me about some A-10 bio-neural tech you guys have. How they can cure Mari. I can't quit."

Shinji backed off a little, shocked. "I don't care. I'll give you all my money. I think I have about 1,500,000 Yen? Take her to some foreign country, pay the doctors. Just get away from Eva."

"I can't."

Shinji slumped to the ground, defeated. "God dammnit, Touji! God dammnit."

"I...I'm sorry." Touji frowned, uncertain as to exactly what he was apologising for. Looking pityingly at the Third Child, he turned to leave, abandoning the basketball to the court.

Misato watched glumly as her two charges ate Shinji's gruel slowly, morosely. 'It's like the faily pet died, but last I saw Pen-Pen was okay. Hungover, but okay.'

She brought her spoon up to eye-level and let the congee drip back into the bowl. She had nothing against nice congee, but this was bland and depressing. 'Is Shinji taking his depression out on the rest of us?'

"THAT'S IT!" she exclaimed. "You two cheer up, or I'll have to break out my emergency supply of fart jokes!"

Shinji and Asuka looked at each other. "Eewwww..." they said in unison. A legacy of their synch training.

"What's wrong with fart jokes, useful humour applied to healthy bodily functions. Or are you two prudish?" bellowed Nerv's Operations Director and Chief Tactical Officer.

"Misato," Shinji began, "You're too old to be telling fart jokes. Just thought you should know."

"Yeah, you're like twice our age." Asuka pointed out cruelly.

"So I've been farting for twice as long then!" Misato declared proudly.

"Blowhard." Shinji said. Asuka cracked up, Shinji following close behind.

'So my pilot's morale must be saved at my expense. So be it.' Misato thought. "Shinji! Grab a can of spicy bean paste and some chillis! This congee will be saved yet!"

Pen-Pen's hangover was fondly remembered as he suffered the repercussions of Misato's Ultra Chilli-Bowl Penguin Chow. He would have broken down and cried (or the penguin equivalent) had he known that just inside the Second Child's room was a half-eaten serving of edible junkfood that the redhead had scarfed before the chilli hit the fan.

The Pet Protection Association, in conjunction with the Penguin Self Defense Force, are still investigating.

Having survived Misato's Chilli onslaught, the two pilots automatically went through their morning routine without really looking at eachother. Shinji automatically loaded two bento boxes into his bag, and Asuka automatically took too long in the bathroom to notice.

It was an average day, gray light filtering through light but omnipresent clouds. It was not so much depressing as sickeningly dull. A hint of rain tasted on their tongues as Asuka and Shinji walked in silent disregard.

Finally, Shinji worked up a conversation starter. "Asuka...I hear Touji will be piloting. An Eva, I mean."

Asuka's face quirked. "Fine pilot that chump will make." she said, lacking conviction.

"Well, I suppose he'll be joining our E-dojo. Fresh meat, right?"

"Hmm. I guess."

"He's pretty athletic, what with all his sports and stuff."

"What-ever."

"And we'll have to look out for him, him being the rookie and all."

"Yeah, I guess that will be nice for you. Not being the rookie, I mean."

"I suppose."

"You'll have someone else to demonstrate your pointlessly high synch-ratio to."

Shinji frowned heavily. "Asuka, just stop. It doesn't mean anything."

The redheaded girl looked at him in fury. "Oh sure, suddenly it doesn't mean anything when before it was everything. I'm not so pathetic that I need your pity!"

Shinji turned away. "What do you want me to do? Shout it out and rub your face in it?"

Asuka snickered cruelly. "Why not? That's what I'd do. You're thinking that, aren't you?"

Shinji moaned, "No-oo."

"Oh sure, Shinji Ikari can think no wrong of anyone, not even the demon-bitch herself! Gott!"

Shinji just sighed. It seemed like the best option.

"I don't know...gott, I'm such a bitch!"

Shinji looked at her in surprise.

"I don't know Shinji. I just don't know."

Shinji looked down out of the corner of his eyes. "It doesn't matter, Asuka."

"What doesn't?"

"Anything. We've got to defeat the Angels, and that's all."

Asuka sniffed. "Right,"

Shinji straightened. "So work with me, Asuka. Work with me, Rei and Touji. We're a team, and that's what matters."

"Why? Why should I? You think you're such hot shit, why should I?"

Shinji sighed. "Because we need you Asuka. We need you, bad."

Asuka's eyes blazed. "'We'? What about 'I', huh? Or are you too good for me now!"

"We all need you. Especially me. I'm a wimp and a coward! I don't deserve to be an Eva pilot - but I am! I need you out there, Asuka. And I need you here, outside of Eva. I don't know what I'd be without you."

Asuka looked down at the pavement where she was walking. "Fine. I'm...a part of a team."

Shinji stopped. "Shake on it?"

Asuka looked at his outstretched palm. With conviction, she grasped it in a hearty handclasp. They both wore grim looks of determination.

They resumed walking. Asuka looked at the boy, strolling in silence.

"But...what about us?" she asked quietly.

Shinji turned to face her. "We'll wait. Until we can be sure of it again."

Asuka's eyes were tinged wet and red. "I'll watch your back until then, baka."

Shinji hung over the school roof railing, staring at the dull gray horizon. Having never known seasons, to Shinji this was equivalent to winter in his life. Kensuke leaned backward against the same railing a little way away.

The freckled boy looked at his reluctantly famous friend. "I can't believe it. You, AND Touji. I mean, am I going to be the only one who's NOT an Eva pilot?"

Shinji raised a sardonic eyebrow. "Doesn't being friends with two of them count for anything?"

Kensuke puffed his cheek. "Oh sure, focus on the side-benefits."

Shinji sighed. "You really shouldn't envy us, you know."

Kensuke grinned. "Who said anything about envy? This is full-blown, soul-wrenching jealousy!"

"You were in Eva, isn't that enough? You felt my pain, right?"

Kensuke put on his best 'sage' voice, "'The pain of the body is nothing compared with the pain of the soul'."

The pilot looked unimpressed. "Who's side are you arguing?"

Kensuke sighed. "Anyway, I suppose he's got a suit by now, and he might even already be in the plug. Soon, he'll be practising moving in that holiest-of-holies of the modern era. My god, my life is so wasted!"

The Third Child shook his head morosely, leaving Kensuke to his fantasies. A movement of blue caught the corner his eye. Rei's unnaturallly coloured hair was distracting like that.

"Wa!" Kensuke gulped as he noticed the petite beauty. "Rei, how are you?" he smiled widely, always enthusiastic to make Rei's acquaintence.

She answered in her typical manner, "Wicked. You?"

Kensuke almost swallowed his teeth. "Uh...I'm fine..."

Rei turned to face Shinji. "Shinji-kun. I have taken leave of my senses and fallen deeply in love with you."

Shinji choked. "Ah, right...Rei, are you trying to cheer me up?"

She nodded. "I heard from the Second Child that you are no longer going at it with her. Would you like a strip-tease?"

Shinji grinned in a combination of chagrin and amusement. Kensuke slunk away quietly.

"That's alright, Rei. Later, maybe." he chuckled.

"You are belittling me."

Shinji gazed at her for a moment, analysing his feelings. "No, I'm not. I think...you're like a little sister. You havent matured, emotionally, yet. Which is probably fair enough - you've only had a chance for a few months."

Rei looked at the tips of her toes as she leant back against a brick wall. "So I am...too immature?"

Shinji smiled sadly. "For the moment, yeah. You are."

Rei looked up. "I will not always be."

"I know."

"So then...if you're not with Sohryu..."

"And if you're still interested...maybe. Who can predict the future, Rei? I mean, a year ago I was less than nothing, thousands of miles from here. Today...I'm more."

Rei nodded. "I, too. The future is...less certain than I have been led to believe."

Shinji's mood instantly darkened. "Don't let my father brain-wash you anymore, Rei. Just don't."

The girl tilted her head up to look at the bright spot in the thick clouds. "Hai, Ikari-san."

"So, the Marduk Association is a shell. At least this confirms our suspicions about Nerv, even if it offers us little in the way of leads."

"I hope you'll use this information wisely. You're our only remaining contact on the inside."

"Speaking of which, I've found myself another alliance. Or, that is, it found me."

"Oh? How many of those are there left? A faction within Nerv?"

"Yes. Although I'm there under blackmail."

"Don't you ever get tired of being a pawn?"

"Not if it's the only way to get into the game."

"Hmmph. Well, I suppose you'd know all about that by now. A three-suit pawn. Sounds more like poker."

"So it seems."

"Still, a pawn that moves like a knight. Well, that's special, especially to whoever the knight moves for in the end."

"Well, I sure as hell don't move like a bishop!" Kaji grinned, knocking the ash off of his cigarette.

Author's Rant:

I got one review haranging me for not spitting out chapters quicker. Oddly enough, I was so annoyed that it worked. Damn you crafty critics.

/ Omake for Chapter #8 /

In full Nerv Official Dress, Misato tried to look very small as she cowered behind the Defense Panel. Armed penguins guarded the entrances to the court, for her 'protection'. Gendo Ikari sat next to her, impassive as always.

"The Prosecution's argument is irrelevant." he said blandly.

"To hell with you, Elton John's Repressed Brother!" Asuka cried.

"My lineage is irrelevant."

"So a small, cuddly creature's permanent bowle infliction is irrelevant!" she demanded.

"NO!" Shinji cried from the witness stand. "I have to live with him!"

"Silence from the witness stand." Hikari cautioned, gavel in hand, if a tad sympathetically. "The defense is invited to respond."

"Cuddly creatures are irrelevant, irrespective of size." the Commander clarified stiffly.

"What about your late wife, Yui Ikari? Was she not cuddly? Was she not one of God's creatures?" Asuka pointed out snidely.

"Yui..." Gendo's eyes glazed over.

"Da-ad!" Shinji screamed. "Stop thinking hentai thoughts about mother!"

"The witness will be in order!" Judge Horaki exclaimed. "He's getting as bad as you, Asuka!"

"We would like to bring a character witness to the stand." Commander Ikari said. "I call, Agent Ryouji Kaji."

Kaji strolled into the room, trademark smirk surgically applied to his face.

"Agent Kaji. Would you describe my client as a cruel woman?"

"Absolutely heartless."

Gendo's eyebrows moved a full two millimeters skyward, a new world record. "This is contrary to our scenario, agent."

Kaji grinned. "I swore to tell the truth in this room, bro."

"Ahem." Gendo considered his options. "No further questions."

"Kaji, are you busy tonight?" Asuka demanded.

"I hope so." Kaji's grin faded somewhat.

Hikari frowned at the man. "Mr. Kaji, don't you want to defend the love of your life?"

Kaji's smirk re-formed to it's full width, which rivalled a normal smile (but offset to the side). "Why? She'll be much easier to keep track of in jail."

/ Omake for Chapter 7 /
/ ILO IOU /

"We will now hear from the victim of this heinous act most fowl-directed, Mr. Pen J. Pen." Asuka dictated (she was very good at it. Dictating, that is.)

Fuyutski tapped Gendo on the shoulder from his seat just behind Misato (for her protection, he said). "Ikari, the scenario said nothing about a middle name."

"Indeed." Commander Ikari rumbled. "Explain, Major."

"Jacked-up little trouble-maker?" she responded vicariously.

"Doubtful."

The victim was wheeled in.

"You are Mr. Pen J. Pen, alias Donald Duck?"

"Wurk." Pfft.

He wafted a wing about self-consciously.

"What's his alias for?"

"His trips in the U.S."

"Right..."

"Mr. PenPen, can you identify the person who put you into this state most foul in this courtroom?"

"Wark!" Ploppft.

Hikari pinched her nose delicately with one hand while waving the gavel about. "I think I can understand your plight, Shinji..."

-flipper-