A/N: Let me start off by saying I'm sorry about any and all spelling and grammatical errors in this chapter. I got off the cruise ship, and got home at 10 am and just started writing it. Let me say thank you, thank you, THANK YOU to all who have reviewed, story alerted, or favorited. Thanks again, and enjoy the chapter!

Disclaimer: I own nothing :(

Chapter Four:

Gibbs had came into Ziva's room to find her tossing, turning, and whimpering. He cautiously cradled her in his arms and whispered,

"Ziver, it's alright you're ok.."

She though only responded with another series of whimpers and a hushed,

"Please don't hurt me..please don't again…"

She repeated it over and over again growing louder before he was able to wake her. She tensed in his grip first but then relaxed. She was shaking in his arms, and she was a sweaty mess. He was rubbing soothing circles up and down her back and he could feel every scar. His heart broke as she muttered those words, the words giving him a glimpse into what she suffered. She began to weep with her head on his chest letting everything out again. For once it was okay to cry. She mumbled things to him, though he could not understand them but continued to soothe her crying. He whispered,

"Why don't you go take a shower soon Ziver. It'll make you feel better."

Ziva nodded her head and continued to cry into her father's chest. For once she let her guard down, she left herself venerable. She was defying her own rules, Eli David's rules, she was showing weakness. Though, it felt pretty damn good. Her tears began to reside but she did not remove her head from his chest for a while. She still had sharp intakes of breath that caused her chest to ache. Listening to the rhythmic beat of her father's heartbeat she couldn't help but think, Why am I so weak? As the thought continued to ring throughout her head, her barriers began to build back up, vulnerabilities were quickly patched, and she moved away from his touch.

"You shouldn't have to see my like this."

She whispered, not looking him in the eye.

"Ziver…"

He thought to himself please do not push me away, I just want to help. Ziva went into her bathroom and shut the door, locking it behind her. The clink of the lock made her already unstable state tottaly crumble, spiraling back to her cell. The crisp clean cold tiles turning into a dirty cement floor, she was now a prisoner to her own mind, a slave to her own frightful memories. Thankfully she was saved from herself with a knock on the door,

"Ziver, are you ok in there?"

She could not say anything, but eventually was able to form the word,

"Yes."

Never again would he see her in such a state of emotional despair, she was going to pretend to be happy for her family's sake, even if she was dyeing inside. She would be a shell, and nothing but a shell. She stepped into the shower and let the water wash away her pain, though the memories returned just moments later. The burden could not simply be washed off, the thought that began to circle was, do they ever go away? Soon she was back in her room and she found a cup of tea awaiting her on her bedside table. The smell calmed her nerves and brought back times when she was happier, when her heart was lighter, when her soul felt more free. How badly did she want to run, feel the wind in her hair, she wanted to feel free. Though freedom seemed as far away as her old self did. She knew she had restrictions but honestly at that moment she could've cared less. She put her hair into a pony tail, put on her old tattered running clothes, tied her tennis shoes and exited through her window. As soon as she was off the property she began to run, she felt the slight breeze against her face again, and she felt empowered, she once again felt in control of herself. Half a mile turned into a mile, and a mile turned into two, and she was still going strong on her final stretch back home until she felt sharp pains shooting up her leg with each movement. She withstood the pain and made it back to the house though she was badly limping. She climbed to her window, changed, and crawled back into bed right before Gibbs came into check on her. He had a gut feeling that something was going on, and he didn't like it one bit. Two a.m. was not the time to deprive Ziva of sleep to discuss what was happening, it would simply have to wait.

It was 6:30 am and Ziva was up. She limped over to her bathroom to take a shower, her leg causing her an excruciating amount of pain. She took a shower, and it did nothing to soothe her pain. She later switched the gauze and debated going down stairs or not. Sleeping in would lead them to think that something was wrong with her, but if they saw her limp was more obvious than in previous days Gibbs would suspect something. She decided on going down stairs, but she was going to have to put pressure back on her leg despite the pain she would have to endure. As she came down the stairs and into the kitchen she saw Gibbs at the table drinking coffee, and he had left her a cup of tea on her placemat at the table. As she sat down he studied her carefully, he knew she was hiding something.

"Ziver did you fall back asleep alright last night?"

"Yes." She decided to keep the part after I went for a run to herself.

Gibbs studied her face and she was not telling him something.

He did not want to play any games with her and stated,

"You have always been a very bad liar Ziva, what are you not telling me?"

She began to weigh her options of telling, and keeping quiet. She did not meet his eyes and she whispered,

"I went for a run last night."

He heard her loud and clear and was angry,

"You what?"

She did not look him in the eye and he continued,

"Why do you keep endangering your health?"

She responded quietly,

"It reminds me I'm still alive, that I'm free. When I am in here I feel as if I am trapped once again."

He shook his head,

"If I take you to work with me today, promise me you will not run until Kelly clears you."

"Yes."

"Go get dressed."

Ziva limped up the stairs happily and changed into cargo pants, a tank top, and combat boots. In other words, her usual. As she walked down the stairs she saw Gibbs and Jenny waiting for her. Jenny said groggily,

"Let's go."

They all piled into the car, and rode to work, though they stopped to get coffee along the way.

Ziva was lounging in her father's chair at the bull pen when her mother grabbed her attention. She motioned her to come up stairs, and she did as she was told not asking any questions. Her mother stopped by the MTAC door and said,

"Eli David it on the line, I do not know how he knew you are here, but he would like to speak to you. Are you alright with speaking with him."

"Yes."

She walked in the door and saw Director Eli David's face on the screen. She walked infront and he greeted,

"Shalom Zivaleh."

"Director David."

She nodded in respect, even if she had next to none for him.

"I was told you resigned but never received a formal resignation."

She clenched her fists at her sides in attempt to control her anger.

"Sending me on a suicide mission, I thought that meant I was fired. Especially, after I escaped and you tried to roast me."

He chuckled and responded,

"You lived. You are still obligated, and still have ties to Mossad."

"You will have an official resignation in your inbox by seven o'clock Eastern."

"Zivaleh…"

"Do not call me that."

She motioned for the man controlling the broadcast to cut it off and he did. She walked out and resumed her position in the chair. The team came in and began to pull things up in the screen. She concluded from the chatter that they had a main suspect for the person who committed the murder, and also targeted them with the bomb. Though, when the drivers license came onto the screen she almost fainted. It read Saleem Igor Ulman. She almost yelled,

"I killed that bahstard in Somalia. I stabbed him."

She was confused now, very very confused. Everyone in the bull pen turned towards her and then Tony asked,

"If he was in Somalia, why does he have a U.S. driver's license?"

"He went to Yale"

Kate seemed dumbfounded but decided not ask about how she knew. Gibbs turned towards his daughter and whispered,

"Ziver, go up and talk to Jenny for a little while."

"No. If anyone knows how he thinks it is me. Let me help please."

"Go talk to Kate, she is the profiler."

Ziva began to talk to Kate, and soon enough the complied a list of places he would most likely be outside of his apartment.

The team wasn't back yet and Ziva began to worry, she knew how dangerous Saleem could be, and she begun to think the worst. Her worries were relieved when she saw Gibbs walk out of the elevator and was followed by Kate and Tony escorting Saleem to interrogation. The sight of him simply made her shudder, though the thought of him being sent to prison made her smile a little bit. As Gibbs approached the desk he gave her a kiss on the top of her head. Ziva asked in a hushed tone,

"May I talk to him. Just rub in his face that I'm all right. That he didn't break me."

"Ziver…"

"Please."

"Alright you have ten minutes now go."

Ziva walked into the room a few minutes later with a smirk that the pre Somalia Ziva always wore upon her lips. The look she had showed him a countless amount of times before.

"Saleem. We meet again."

She leaned against the corner as she watched his reaction of seeing her play across his face. He simply chuckled.

"Scared to be any nearer? You always were very weak."

She sat down in the chair across from him, he leaned in meeting her gaze, and he kissed her savagely.

"I missed you lips Ziva."

She did nothing, not retaliating. She simply gave a thumbs up to the people in the room behind her signaling she was ok. He saw the expression on his face sadden when she did not retaliate to his touch. She simply looked at him and smirked until she felt her lunch coming back up her throat. She ran out of the room with one hand clasped over her mouth and sprinted down the hallway into the women's bathroom and vomited. She could not get the taste of his lips off of her mouth. Soon though, she was back into the room and Saleem was beaming.

"Morning sickness?"

At the sight of the change in her expression he asked,

"They do not know about it do they? You never told them."

Ziva stayed silent for a few moments. She had never considered the thought that she could be pregnant. She wasn't she couldn't be the doctor's would have noticed by the time she was released from the hospital if she was. Ziva looked at him sharply and began to circle him as he did to her a countless amount of times. He stuck his foot out in front of her bad leg, causing her to trip due to not having amazing reflexes in her burnt leg yet. Though, she succeeded in bringing Saleem to the floor with her. He was not going to get have the satisfaction of seeing her go down again alone. Saleem threw the first punch on the floor and this time she retaliated hitting him in groin. She knew it was a cheap move but he wasn't worth her energy. As she was standing up he managed to grab her bad foot and was on top of her, her arms pinned above her head his lips only inches away from hers. He though closed the gap before the guard outside the door rushed in on command. Though, it was to late for Ziva, she was already back in Somalia. She felt dirty, the repercussion of not being allowed to bathe in weeks. When they did allow her to bathe, it would be with filthy water in front of all the men naked, simply another form of humiliation. Another form of torture where they attempted to take everything away including her pride. She did not feel the carpet in the room rather the concrete spattered with her own dried blood. Her clothes were tattered, and her back was still oozing blood from the whips. Her arms still stinging from the knives and lemon juice, and her entire body feeling weak from being deprived of food. She felt as if death was only teasing her, not letting her fall into it's luxury.

She awoke though was in Tony's arms instead of what she was expecting to be Gibbs's. He was rocking her back and forth and humming soothing melodies and talking to her. She opened her eyes and at the realization that she was still in Tony's arms she jumped from his grip, though it resulted in her tumbling to the floor. The feeling of being safe in another man's arms besides her father seemed inexistent until now, and she did not want to find out why. She stood up, exited the room and sprinted with her limp to the Directors office to lay on the sofa to sleep. Her mother was still in there, and before she had a chance to lie down she said,

"You have therapy tomorrow at three."

Please Review! Tell me what you liked about the chapter, what you didn't like about the chapter, everything and anything you want! (: I'm always open to new ideas and it makes writing the story easier if I know what you guys want to happen! Please review!