A/N: I'm sorry for wait for this chapter, though I cannot promise another chapter this week. This whole week is going to be simply INSANE for me. After this week my life should be getting back to normal and updates should be 1-3 times a week. I cannot say thank you enough to those who have reviewed, subscribed, or added me to your favorites. If anyone is interested in becoming a beta reader for this story I'd be delighted. My grammar does need a lot of improvement, and I'd love for someone to look over my work (commas and run on sentences will be the death of me).

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS…(if I did Jenny would still be alive and Tiva would have happened at the end of season nine.)

Chapter Five

The cab stopped, the quiet kill of the engine making her realize she was truly at the therapist's office. She stepped out of the cab, still at first. As she walked on the sidewalk, inching closer and closer to the building, keeping one foot in front of the other became a great obstacle.

One step. Two Steps. Three Steps.

Soon she was inside the building, and rode the elevator to the doctors floor. She was nervous. More nervous than when she received a beating because even though they caused her so much pain (and not to mention the reason why she was even in this building), they were a constant part of her life, she knew they would not cease as long as she was in the cell, she knew what to expect. Though, walking into this building was as foreign to her, it felt as if she was being dropped into a whole new world, like she had been on so many missions. Still, on a mission there was always a plan, she had control, she never lost control, here she did not know what to expect. The notion of not being in control scared her, due to the last time she wasn't in control she was tortured and almost died several times. Though, death was now even a familiarity. As the elevator chimed she knew it was all or nothing, and she was not one to back away from challenges. Defusing a bomb was the equivalent to (for her) reading the Sunday paper at leisure, as feeling were much more difficult. Feelings to her were as hard to express as throwing a knife straight with a broken arm to the general public. As she opened the heavy wooden door that lead into the waiting area, the smell of the room engulfed her, it smelt like home when she was little. It smelt like a mix of coffee, perfume, and sawdust mixed together, and the first thing she thought was how did they recreate that scent? She checked in at the front desk and the receptionist was someone she once knew, and she could just not put her finger on it. Ziva said rather matter of factly,

"Ziva Gibbs, I'm here for my appointment with Dr. Andrews."

The receptionist instantly noticed the familiarity of the voice, and her head shot straight up.

"Ziva is that you? You look simply amazing. How have you been?"

Ziva remembered who the girl across the desk was, one her best high school friends.

"Anya. Thank you. I have been well."

She said politely and then added,

"And you?"

"The same. Tonight the whole high school gang is meeting up for drinks tonight around eightish at the bar by the Navy Yard, would you like to join us? It has become sort of a tradition, we meet there every week now."

"I will have to make sure I have nothing conflicting, but I will try my best to be present"

Anya smiled at Ziva and then turned back to her job,

"Dr. Andrews will be able to see you momentarily."

Ziva gave a nod and sat in one of the antique chairs waiting for the therapist to exit the room. Within five minutes she heard her name, and proffered her hand to the lady with a jet black bob and pale skin,

"Ziva Gibbs."

"Dr. Devin Andrews, though I'd much rather you just call me Devin."

Ziva nodded at the woman and followed her into the room sitting on the sofa. She once again felt like a fish out of water. She did not know what to do, what to say, well words were never her best tool anyway. Her eyes flickered around the room, they were screaming uncertainty, and Devin sensed her feeling quickly.

"Your mother informed me about what has happened recently, would you like to discuss it?"

"No."

"We will save the topic for another day then, a time when you are more prepared to talk about it?"

Ziva gave a nod, she didn't know if there ever was going to be a time when she was prepared to talk about it honestly. Her therapist studied her carefully again, she noticed the coldness in the no she had received, and knew what occurred was something that was not going to be easy to talk about.

"I know this seems so very cliché, but how was your childhood?"

"From what age would you like me to begin from?"

"When you were born would be a good starting place."

"I was born in Be'er Sheva, Israel. I was adopted at the age of two by Jenny and Gibbs. I'm not sure of the details of my adoption. Though I do know that my biological mother and Jenny were good friends, and that she was killed by a road side bomb when I was three."

"Have you ever felt the need to find your biological father."

"I did not ever feel that longing, due to the fact that I was very content living at the Gibbs household. Though, our paths did cross once."

She choose to leave out the part where he recruited her for Mossad, sent her on a suicide mission, and when she survived it, he had someone set fire to the hotel she was staying at in an attempt to kill her. Devin knew that she was purposely leaving something out, but did not want to pry too much today. She knew Ziva would talk about it in due time.

"What made growing up in the Gibbs house so fun?"

"My sisters."

Ziva had to hold back laugh at all the memories she had with them. She remembered pushing Kate into a lake to get back at her for telling Gibbs she broke curfew, got to love camping right?

"We were a crazy bunch…"

"They were very over protective of me, any guy that came near me went through an interrogation. They were almost worse than Gibbs."

She remembered a particularly bad break up, where her ex had come to apologize, but he was met with Gibbs on the lawn, a loaded shot gun in handed. Needless to say, that boy never talked to her again. Devin smiled and remarked,

"My older brother did the same thing. My husband had to go to my brother and father to get their blessing to marry me."

Ziva laughed a little bit knowing something along those lines would happen, that is if she ever got a marriage proposal.

"How was your overall high school experience? What were your friends like?"

"I had a pretty average high school life. Anya was one of my best friends."

"Anya? As in Anya my receptionist?"

"Yes."

"It truly is a small world."

"Indeed."

"After high school, I was informed that you chose to join the Israeli army, may I ask why?"

"I felt that I owed the same service to Israel that the woman who live in the country partake in."

Knowing there was no avoiding her experience being a Mossad operative she continued,

"Two years later I joined Mossad, and now I am back end of story. My life in a peanut."

"I think you mean nut shell."

"Same difference."

The therapist checked the clock, still another 45 minutes of the session, she thought to herself good hopefully she'll open up a little more.

"Why did you resign you position with Mossad?"

"Conflicting Moral Standards, with myself and the ranks above me."

Ziva carefully chose her words, each one balanced just as her emotions were. She had built up barriers, barriers that Saleem had beaten down. The dam that held back her emotions was close to its breaking point, after all you can't everything bottled up forever. Devin easily see that Ziva was hiding a lot, she had buried a lot, and that was the way she dealt with things, she didn't talk about them. She knew though that everything had its breaking point. People are like fishing lines, sometimes they break. It all depends on the line they choose, the fish they are reeling in, and how skilled the fisherman are. Some are more skilled than other, some fish hang on tighter and fight more than others, and some lines are sturdier than others. Ziva was like a skilled fisherman in hiding her emotions. She had a shark on the end of her line and couldn't decide whether to reel it up and deal with the shark, or cut the line. If she cut the line, she'd be wasteful, throwing away the bait, floaters, and a perfectly good fish. Devin studied her for a moment before stating,

"Ziva, I know some things we like to keep buried, the past as our past, but sometimes we can't move on until we face our past."

"There are things of my past that should stay buried."

Ziva whispered. She had built up her barriers brick by brick and she was not going to take a wrecking ball to it, and spill her guts to some stranger. Though maybe, just maybe that was exactly what she needed. Maybe she needed to tell her past to a complete stranger so that they would not judge her.

"Why Ziva? Why do you not let old wounds heal?"

That question, made Ziva snap. She knew Devin had not meant to, but it had sent her to her breaking point.

"Why? Because people would see me differently! They would judge me for my past. If I tell them I was sent on a suicide mission by my biological father, and tortured for three months in a terrorist camp, they would see me differently! They do not see the woman who escaped! They pity the girl that was the only female in a camp of thirty men, and fully at their mercy. They see the past, not the present. Even Gibbs has the look in his eyes when he wakes me from a nightmare, the last person I ever thought I would see that from became like every other person."

Devin said very calmly,

"Ziva, Gibbs was not pitying you, he was trying to care for you, trying to be there for you."

"I'm a grown woman! I can take care of myself!"

Ziva was yelling at the end and simply walked out of the room to collect herself giving a subtle wave Anya as she left. She ran as fast she could down the stairs, hailed a cab and got in. She felt tears threatening to break loose. She thought to herself, No. No. you are not about to cry. You never let Saleem see you cry, hear your scream, you are not going to let a therapist reduce you to tears. You are stronger than that. You are better than that. Ziva arrived at Bethesda on her way to find Kelly. She went to the floor Kelly was usually on and walked up to the receptionist's desk,

"Is Kelly Gibbs here?"

"She should be just about done making her round, who is asking?"

"Ziva Gibbs, her sister."

"I'll notify her that you are here."

Kelly saw Ziva by the front desk as she turned the corner and became worried, why was Ziva here?

"Zi? Is something wrong?"

Ziva raised her head and tried to put on a smile,

"What? A sister cannot just visit another sister?"

"I'm happy you are here, but I was just not expecting you. Also your body posture, was a litte off. I was just about to go grab a snack would you like to join me?"

Ziva gave a nod and followed Kelly down to the cafeteria.

After they had both gotten their food and sat down Ziva started the conversation,

"Therapy is horriable."

"I forgot mom had signed you up for therapy with Dr. Andrews, she is a very nice woman. Try not to threaten her much."

"She kept asking me questions about my past, why can't anyone understand my past is my past?"

Kelly looked at her sister and whisperd,

"She is just trying to help Zi."

Right as Kelly finished talking a handsome man stopped at their table and talked to Kelly,

"Kelly, are we still on for dinner and a movie tonight around 8:30ish at my place?"

"Yep."

She smiled looking at her boyfriend.

"Joesph, this is my sister Ziva."

"Zi, this is Joseph Barnes."

Joesph extended his hand, but she did shake it. She simply gave a curt nod. Something was a little off about this Joseph Barnes, she had a gut feeling about it. She was studying him, analyzing his everymove. She had gone into Officer Gibbs, Mossad Assasian mode. Kelly could tell the change in Ziva and shook her a head a little bit, this was not going to be good.

"Kel, I only knew that you had one sister Kate. She works at NCIS with your parents right?"

Kelly nodded and said,

"Ziva was in the Israeli Army for two years, and is an Officer in Mossad."

Ziva corrected her,

"Former Mossad, I sent in my formal resignation this morning."

Joseph picked up on her accent and then said,

"You have an Israeli accent, I presume it was from your spent in Israel."

"I was born in Israel and adopted by the Gibbs family, my accent carried over."

"That explains the difference in looks."

There was an awkward scilience and then Joseph's phone went off,

"Excuse me."

Kelly looked at Ziva and smiled,

"So what are you doing tonight? Anything or just hanging around the house?"

"Meeting some old friends at a bar for drinks."

"What are you going to wear? You cannot wear combat boots, cargo pants, and tank top."

"That is all I have besides some tattered running clothes and pajamas."

Kelly shook her head,

"I get off work soon, were going shopping whether you like it or not."

Ziva gave a nod, knowing there was no point in arguing. A few seconds later Kelly's boyfriend reappeared,

"Babe, I have to go I'll see you tonight."

He turned to look at Ziva,

"It was nice meeting you."

Kelly was dragging Ziva store to store. It seemed as though Kelly was trying to buy Ziva an entire new wardrobe. She now had two pairs of jeans, a few cardigans, four blouses, three fancy shirts, and two t-shirts. They were onto shoes now the only thought in Ziva's mind was when will this day end? Kelly had found Ziva heels, boots, sandals, and everything in between to try on. As she saw Kelly making her way back to her with boxes piled high she sighed, oh the joy. Ziva picked off the first box which contained heels and walked comfortably in them, much to Kelly's surprise.

"Ziva, you use to teeter in tiny heels. Now, I accidently grab a pair that have a four inch heels and you can walk in them as if they were combat boots?"

"I had to learn to for undercover missions."

"What were you a stripper?"

Ziva gave her a mischevious look that said maybe. As the afternoon became the evening they decided to call it a day and head to Kelly's house. The older sister had been adamant on helping Ziva get ready for the little reunion. She was also making Ziva do a little fashion show so she could decide on what outfit Ziva should wear. Kelly ended up deciding dressing Ziva in a dark wash skinny jeans, shinny four inch heels, a nude colored top that had accents of black and a ruffle that fell straight the middle, a cropped leather jacket, and lastly in tiny box ontop of the dresser was a Star of David gold necklace. It was plainer than the one that she had worn since she was born, but was sleak in design. She placed it on her neck dumbfounded and hugged Kelly.

"We still have makeup and hair, and we do not have much time let's get started." Kelly had let Ziva's hair out of the pony tail and let it fall naturally. The waves helping balance out the femine yet strong outfit. The locks cascaded down her back, and she looked effortlessly beautiful. Still, Kelly put on a little makeup. Just the basics, bronzer, concealer to get rid of the dark circles (nightmares were depriving her of sleep), and mascara. Her chococlate eyes popped and she looked gorgeous. Kelly was ready within thirty minutes and it was almost a quarter to eight.

"We better get going Ziva."

Both sister walked side by side to the car. Kelly turned on some music but, Ziva was to preoccupied in her own thoughts to listen to it. She was somewhat worried that about meeting up with all her old friends once again. Though, she did not have much time to think such things because they had arrived at the bar. As Ziva stepped out of the Lexus and onto the concrete she looked Kelly in the eye and said,

"Thank you."

Kelly watched her little sister walk into the building and said a silent prayer. She knew her little sister would be all right, though with Ziva you just never knew. As long as nothing triggered Ziva's PTSD, and nothing sent her into a panic attack everything would go alright right…or at least she hoped.

Please Review! Tell me what you liked, what you didn't, and what you want to happen! I'm always open to suggestions so please do give me some if you have any. Also, sorry if this chapter wasn't as good as the others I wrote this over a series of nights (more early mornings) from around 1am-4am (depends how side tracked I got).