Initial Perturbation Chapter 14: Gain, an evangelion fanfic

I do not own the characters of Neon Genesis Evangelion, nor any other aspects of it. I think. I shall check my distant relative's wills though, just in case.

Rating: T - a fair bit of swearing (this should probably be rated higher)

Initial Perturbation

CHAPTER 14 - Gain -

"Oh, hello Major Katsuragi. How's, uhm, things? Are the Pilots alright?"

Misato swooshed her hair in a purple plume, clipping an ear-ring into place. Her size-too-small Nerv-regulation uniform drew the Lieutenant-Commander's attention until his sense of duty lifted his eyes to her face.

She smiled her half smile, the one that duty calls for. "I'm a little worried about Shinji, but I can't really say things are bad. So, got any updates for me?"

Makoto didn't bother noticing when she didn't ask after his own wellbeing. Beautiful women didn't ask such things of him. "Rei's synch ratio hasn't picked up yet, so Doctor Akagi's got her on an accelerated program. Unit 02's repairs are finally complete after we got those back-order actuator interpreter units from Germany. The Chiba alert grid has finally been upgraded to level 8, giving us a 98% complete sensing grid. And I've just finished brewing a pot of coffee, it's good and hot."

This time a genuine grin lit her features. It made Hyuuga feel warm and whole for the moment, like he hadn't since... "Thanks Hyuuga, you know how to prioritise the important things."

The Major stepped over to the kitchen area off the command deck to pour the filtered fluid in with a toxic amount of sugar and cream. She started her office days with coffee the colour of caramel, but by knock-off time she had it singularity-black. Taking a sip, she tilted her head back and scrunched her eyes closed, preparing for another day.

Maya was flicking idly through an entertainment magazine in the small lounge with a cup of green tea. Misato turned to view the girl. Something about her innocent poise irked her. "Shift has started, you know." she told her inferior, a little cattiness in her tone.

"I'm...on my tea break ma'am." Maya replied, letting just enough haughtiness into her voice to counter Misato's.

Misato blinked. Then she let out a dry chuckle. "Sorry Maya, attack of the early morning feline. I'm sure Ritsuko let you know what she likes in her subordinates, and I for one can't fault her standards."

The junior officer gave her a thin smile, unconvinced by her sincerity. Misato felt the projected chill, and stepped back onto the bridge. 'I wonder if we could use psychological warfare on the Angels?' She gave the area a quick sweep with her eyes, noting the unusual number of substitutional staff on duty. "Hey Hyuuga, where is everyone? Ritsuko and the Commander are always out and about, but Shigeru and the Sub-Commander too?"

Hyuuga didn't look up from his terminal. "Hmm. Seems like they're on some special project. The Commander's off on some top-rated meeting, probably meeting with those Chinese backers again."

"And Agent Kaji?"

Hyuuga frowned slightly. "His schedule is never filled in, but he's not on any of my grids this morning."

Misato narrowed her eyes as she let the coffee mug warm her hands. "More closed-door projects that leave me on the outside. I don't like it. The Chinese are trying to get their hands on Eva technology, and I don't like it. It was bad enough that the Americans got a branch."

"You know what they say, money talks. Well, anyway, I'll see what I can find out..."

Misato's face lit up like the daybreak. "Would you? Thanks Hyuuga!"

Maya came in, eyebrow raised. She shot Misato a questioning look as she took her station. Misato went over to Hyuuga's desk and leaned over his seat. "See what you can dig up, I'll see what I can find out from my office. We'll keep each other updated with that secure terminal program of yours."

"S-sure ma'am."

"Wow!" Hikari squealed over the phone, temporarily numbing Asuka's left ear as she hit frequencies only a gossiping teenaged girl could generate (other than an emasculated Shinji). "What was it like? What were you wearing? What was he wearing? Did you let him touch you? Which movie did you see? Did he ask you, or did you ask him? Ooh, I'm so jealous!"

Asuka swapped sides with the phone and rubbed the offended ear ruefully. "I...I can't remember who asked who...it was just kinda spontaneous I guess. Uhm, I wore that pink sundress...he just wore his normal stuff, what else? He bought KFC for lunch. Dummkopf, I can't believe I let him just get fast-food for our first date. Baka. I've walked out on guys up for less."

"Which movie, which movie?"

"Sheesh, relax, it's only the baka after all. It was 'Spied Eye'. Weak plot. Crappy special effects. The hero was kinda hot, though."

"Did you let him touch you?"

"Uhm...we kinda...held hands...they got all sweaty though."

"Wow! That's so kawaii..."

"It didn't feel like the other dates I've been on..."

"Are you going to do it again?"

"Uh...maybe. He'd damn well better ask me!"

"So..." Hikari's gossipy tone suddenly became sultry. "Did you kiss him?"

Asuka's eyes widened. "Uhhh..."

"I bet you did, huh?"

"Well..."

"Go on...tell me..."

"Uhm, well...he...kinda kissed me..."

"No way! Wow, he's getting brave, huh? So, what was it like?"

"It was..." Asuka paused, searching for the words. "soft. And warm. I can't describe it!"

"Did he slip you the tongue?"

"Ewww! Hikari!"

The line chattered with the girl's giggles. "Aww, c'mon Asuka, don't tell me fibs! I bet you thought about it."

"No!"

"Fine, be like that. I sup-pose I should let you get back to you lover-man..."

"Ehm...he's kind of cooking right now."

"Heating him up are you? Are you doing something indecent?"

"No, I mean he's in the kitchen cooking! Hikari, I swear I never took you for such an ecchi!"

"I'm not the going around kissing boys. Gonna visit him tonight?"

"No way! Uhm...not yet."

"Ooh! Someone's a naughty girl. Does he spank you?"

"Huh? Henta Hikari! Shut up! Your sister's telling you to get off the phone already."

"She always does that, but she's the one who always hogs it. Well, have fun Asuka! Try not to have any kids before I get back!"

"Hentai! Scheiße, she hung up on me! Grrr!" Asuka growled through the grin that had taken up permanent residence on her face.

Misato lay back on her bed, a bemused expression gracing her features as she relaxed after a long day. She could just smell the tension and hormones between the kids when she got home, and it hadn't taken her long to figure out the cause. 'I suppose it's a good thing...I'm sure it's the best thing for Shinji. I just hope it lasts...and that the consequences are something we can deal with if it doesn't. I could try to break it up early...but I can't do that to them. As operations director...I'll let them have their fun. For now, at least.'

She felt glad that she'd been able to justify her position. She just prayed she wouldn't have to explain that justification to anyone else. 'Don't make me regret it, you two. Maybe I should get them some condoms? It'd be worth it just to see Shinji's reaction. Not to mention Asuka's...assuming it didn't get too violent. If she's as determined a girlfriend as she is a pilot...whoa, that boy's in for a hell of a time!'

A grin tugged at her cheeks. 'Asuka was playing 'footsies' with him under the table, I just know it...and they thought I didn't notice. Kids.'

She'd been unusually quiet that evening as the two teenagers had put on a rather unconvincing charade of being 'normal'. She'd picked up volumes of information through their body language.

'If this doesn't kick him out of that depression, nothing will. Short of the reincarnation of his mother and that Ami woman, that is.'

With a sigh, she rolled onto her side and tucked her hands under her pillow, under her head. 'Ritsuko and Kaji are up to something...and the Sub-Commander is in on it too. Ugh, there's an ugly picture. But it wouldn't be just fun and games, surely? Then again, this is Kaji we're talking about...no, he's still with me I'm sure. It must be work keeping him away...just what are they up to? They all gave me the dodge every time I called.'

'Hyuuga can be a real sweetie. He should get a girlfriend, he deserves a nice girl. After I don't need him anymore, of course. Damn, that sounds bad. But in Nerv of all places, it pays to have an inside track for information. The Commander won't share any more than he can get away with. Afraid to let anyone see his cards. Somehow, knowing the son tells me something about the father.'

'Speaking of whom...whatever those three are up to, I bet he's not in on it. If he was, it'd all be accounted for, a perfect smokescreen shielding them. Gotta hand it to him, he knows how to command things, but if those three are up to something he's not happy about...damn. It must be big. It's not like even the Commander could afford to do without Ritsuko and the Professor. To take a risk like that...'

'Well. Another day without an Angel attack or a crisis, and maybe something special happened. If Pen-Pen could talk, what would he tell me about those two...'

'Pen-Pen...leave my Yebisu alone...it's the...wrong fridge...cold like the...Beertartica...penguin from...Beertartica...where my Father took me...the Angel of Beer...Adam's Ale...is Yebisu...'

Misato had a very pleasant dream that night.

The grin on Shinji's face could well have been etched into place as he selected food from the kitchen to prepare breakfast and bento lunches. In fact...he is! He's humming!

"Well, someone's happy this morning? Had a good, loong shower Shinji-kun?"

Shinji frowned. "Misato, you've got such a dirty mind. Is that, uh, okay for a guardian?"

"Ooh! So maybe Asuka is riding your high-horse?"

"Misato!" he spluttered, putting down the vegetable knife in his hand before picking it up again, having regained some composure.

"Heh heh, I still got it! Don't worry, it's only natural. Just make sure you don't call out my name when you're fantasizing. She wouldn't like it."

"AARGH!" Shinji cried, collapsing over the kitchen sink. He held the knife at an awkward angle to avoid mis-chopping the vegetables before him.

THUNK

The window in front of him vibrated with a dull ring. He felt a pain in his chest. Looking down, he saw a small plastic dart embedded in his shirt.

"Misaterr...!" he cried in surprise, slurring toward the end before slumping backwards in a dead faint.

"SHINJI!" the tactician cried, getting down low and sidling up to the unconcious form. Pulling the boy up, she leant his back on her lap as she felt for a pulse. "Breathing...that's a tranq dart. Kami!"

"MEIN GOTT!" shreiked the waking german girl.

"Asuka! It's okay hon, it's just a tranquiliser!"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S ALRIGHT YOU CRAZY BITCH! SOMEONE SHOT SHINJI!"

"Asuka!"

"Are they after us? Are they trying to kill us!"

"ASUKA SHUT UP! It was Section Two, alright? Shinji's on suicide watch, and they must have seen him with the knife he was using. Now stop panicking and come here, help me carry him to the car."

"Are you sure! Misato, are you sure?"

"Shit! Yes I'm sure! Now get you ass here and help me lift him!"

Together they awkwardly carried the unconcious pilot to the elevator. "Damnit, where does he put all this weight? He should be light as a feather!" Misato swore as she caught her breath in the decending car. Asuka stayed silent, part from shock and concern, and part from the amount of toned muscle she'd felt through the boy's clothing.

A Section Two agent met them at the bottom. "We'll take over from here, ma'am." he stated.

"The hell you will!" Misato growled, reaching out with the arm that wasn't supporting the unconcious pilot to slap the man's face. "Dammnit, are your sunglasses glued on or something?"

Asuka and Misato clumsily picked the boy up again, Misato warding off the agent with an aura of intense scorn.

"Ma'am...where are you taking him?" the man asked imploringly.

"Headquarters!" she snapped. "Now piss off and try not to screw things up further!"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Bastard!" she spat. "No Asuka, we'll put him in the front seat. You'll have to squeeze into the back."

They were halfway to Nerv, the Section-2 escort having become pursuit cars due to Misato's driving. Somewhere in the car, Misato's phone began to ring. (Yebisu for you, Yebisu for me,) it sang, (if we get too drunk, later we'll have Yebisu for three...) Misato murmered to the tune.

"Uhm, you want me to get that?" Asuka said sarcastically.

"Oh...sorry, I was miles away. Here." she took Asuka's arm from the back seat and placed it on the steering wheel, making the girl gasp in surprise. "Moshi-moshi? Ritsuko!"

(Misato, I see you've got your little trained dog sniffing around for you again.)

"Don't be so cruel...he'd be a labrador, nothing smaller. Anyway..."

(Well, I guess now that we're almost finished it can't hurt to let you witness our grande finale. Come down to the Pribnow box immediately. We're starting start at 0900 hours.) click

"Hey! Damnit...fine. AHHHH! Watch out for the old man!"

"YOU watch out! YOU'RE DRIVING!"

"Gimme that!"

"You (untranslatable and somewhat improbable) woman!" Asuka panted.

"Alright, we'll drop Shinji off at the infirmary then we're going to the Pribnow box, okay Asuka?"

"What? Why? I'll stay with baka-kun."

"Baka-'kun', eh? I'm not letting you outta my sight. Whatever Rits and Kaji are up to, you'll see for yourself."

"Kaji-san? Okay, fine. Just as long as we're back before he wakes up." Asuka sighed, pragmatic as always.

"Maybe it's about time I gave you driving lessons...?"

"NEIN!"

It was a big room, dingy and dusty linoelum floor underfoot and carcasses of old prototype equipment lying around, half-scavenged and abandoned with boards and wires pushed unceremoniously aside. Half of the lights did not work. But the room had a busy vibe now as Ritsuko worked determinedly at her pet project.

"Rei III."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Enter the chamber."

"Yes ma'am."

"Hmm." Kaji grunted while re-entering the room, having raided an equipment room for components and hence being covered in dust. "Y'know, as long as it's her funeral, do you mind having her wear some clothing before the big show? Y'know...empty vessels don't have to float around like in a pedophile's heaven."

Ritsuko rolled her eyes. "Why do men always associate nudity with sex?"

"Why do women associate everything about men with oafish indelicacy, and not sensitivity and decency?"

"Fine, we'll put a bathing suit on her."

"She's just a body to you, isn't she? A shell."

Ritsuko huffed. "A difference that makes no difference is no difference. If her soul can be moved from one husk to another, what's the point in caring much about the husk? Now stop getting philosophical and connect those monitors. Misato will be here soon."

Kaji hunched behind an equipment cabinet, flicking switches and connecting leads. "If you care so little about the shell, why bother moving the 'ghost' from one to another?"

"A seed has to grow, so choose the more fertile ground. Metaphorically. Look, shut up or I might get careless with the hacking records."

"Ah, my wilting blossum. You'll perk up when this is done."

"Maybe. God, I hope this will end."

Kaji looked thoughtfully at the blank slate that was Rei III, wafting in her tank (clad now in a one-piece white swimsuit). "Rei, do you know what is going to happen?"

"I was briefed by the doctor."

"How do you feel about it?"

"No problems, sir."

Kaji frowned. "Maybe this is the right thing to do." he murmered under his breath, looking away.

He gingerly opened the coffin-like chamber that housed the body of Rei II. He turned his head in disgust at the heavy, bloody scent that was exposed as he broke the seal.

"Drain the expired LCL into one of those bottles." Ritsuko told him as she tapped away at a terminal at the far side of the room.

Face neutral, Kaji did as he was bade. He then toweled the unresponsive body off, lips curled in disgust. Sighing, he picked the inactive girl out from the storage unit and carefully moved her warm dead-weight to the other, empty chamber. "Ah, dammnit! Sorry..." he swore as she slipped from his hands. The body slid through the LCL and hit the bottom with a muted thud, but the body reacted to nothing but gravity and physics.

Shigeru came in and moved the expired LCL container and storage unit to the windowed wall looking in toward the Pribnow box command center, from where the contents of the Pribnow box could be seen. Bereft of even skin, the headless Evangelion simulation bodies stood where they were restrained, bioneural uplinks and fluid shunts bare for all the world to see through the hazy LCL.

The senior tech sneered at the damp floor. "Doesn't anyone have any pride around here?"

Kaji looked at the man quizzically. "What's up? Blocked 'Chi' flow or something?"

Shigeru snorted. "Nah, just there's a leak in here. I mean, I know this place was built after the first Angel attack, but this is Nerv! Clean up your fuckin' act, maintenance! Just the whole world depending on us. No biggie."

"Right..." Kaji said with a shrug of the shoulders.

Asuka walked with Misato through a hallway neither had walked before. Had Akagi not called them there, they may never have had occasion to in a dozen lifetimes. This part of Nerv had been built upon and expanded since the attack of the Third Angel, but the core was from a more formative, uncertain time.

"That doctor said Shinji should be fine by lunchtime. I'm having lunch with him, just so's you know." Asuka told Misato forthwrightly, who raised a quizzical eyebrow.

"Oh? Formal now, are we?"

"Of course. He took me on a date and everything." the teenager told the older woman with a proud, challenging air.

"'Everything' huh? Must've been some movie." Misato grinned. "Anyway, let's see what our good doctor is up to. It must be something pretty spectacular, neh?"

"Hmph. Maybe a cure for your alcoholism?"

"I doubt it. She's tried that before. Several times since college, in fact. I've beaten every one of them!" Misato said with obvious pride.

"Unglaublich. I don't doubt it!" (unbelievable)

"Hmm. Here we are. I think."

"What makes you think you've got it this time?"

"I have no mobile phone reception, so it's this, or we starve to death lost in the bowels of Nerv."

"Bitte Gott, sie das eine Mal Recht haben!" (Please god let her be right for once!)

"Halt's Maul Klugscheißer." Misato replied glibly. (Shut up smart ass)

Asuka scowled. "Widerliche Frau." (Nasty woman)

"You're late." Ritsuko stated snidely from a doorway down the hall. "What did you bring her for?"

Misato scratched her head with an embarrased grin. "Uhh, Shinji kinda got shot and..."

Ritsuko rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry I asked. Go home Asuka, this is no place for a child."

Asuka grinned nastily. "Child, eh? Did you want me to escort Misato home? Perhaps she has some stories to share..."

Ritsuko stared at the girl. "You're trying to blackmail me with someone else's blackmail?"

Asuka shrugged. "She did drag me down here for nothing. It's gotta be worth something."

An ironic respect showed in Ritsuko's smile. "You'll do. Still, I'm not letting you in."

"I'm an Eva pilot! What could Nerv possibly be keeping secret that I don't already know?" Asuka exclaimed.

The scientist chuckled. "You're a smart girl. Think about your words. Look, you can hang around with Misato for a few minutes while I fix some stuff up first. Misato, deal with her."

Misato rolled her eyes. "What exactly do you suggest, Ritsuko? Candy apples?"

"Oh, maybe a violent computer game or a subscription to a fashion magazine outta do the trick."

Asuka stuck a thumb towards the receding lady. "Just why wasn't she made my guardian?"

Ritsuko sat at her terminal and thought. 'Should I let Asuka know about this? I have no idea how she'd take it...but an informed pilot is a more effective pilot. Or so my sense of ethics tell me. But she's a kid! No, I can't do this to her, or Shinji. Of course, she'd tell Shinji. No, I can't let her know about Rei, it'd kill the poor kid.'

She stood up, only to fall back a pace as the Commander strode in.

"Commander!" she gasped.

"Doctor." he acknowledged. "Let the Child in."

"What? But...!"

"No questions. You have your orders."

Ritsuko shook her head, bewildered. "Are you...going to let me do this? A contact experiment with Rei II and III?"

"Indeed."

"But...why? Don't you care that I'm defying you?"

"This is business. You will do as you see fit as Head of Science. As long as the Child will serve our purposes, I have no issues with your project. It was acceptable to allow you your little conspiracy, along with your...playmates."

"You don't...care that I'm defying your will? It...doesn't make any difference? To us?"

"As I said, Doctor. This will provide an experienced Pilot in the place of an almost useless one. My personal feelings are irrelevant."

Ritsuko looked on hollowly as the man left the room. She walked out into the corridor.

"Okay you two. We're going to start." she said tonelessly, holding the door for them to enter.

Author's Rant:

You demanded it, you got it! This story has been on hold since my business trip, where I got nothing on it done and lost all momentum. However, a few well-times reviews can do wonders. Thanks!

A big thanks to pyramidgirl89 as always, who gave me a kickstart and always gives a good kicking for poor spelling/grammar.

Also thanks to Rahhel, who has had to contend with my horrid mangling of the German language on several occasions. Rahhel: Yeah! You better be!

- Omake for Chapter #14 -

Unit 00 stood by, equipped with a gingham-and-leather pretzel-girl outfit and showing far more cleavage than a bio-mechanoid could respectable get away with. Unit 01 was wearing a turban (with a mini-turban for it's horn) and Unit 02 was equipped with form-fitting jeans and a tight 'Bud Light' T-shirt for added authenticity.

"Shinji! Prepare to neutralise the Angel!"

"Yes ma'am, high-pressure canon on standby!"

"Misato, we can only give you enough for ten second. After that, it's up to the potency of the mix and the strength of Asuka and Rei's attacks."

"Okay Rits. Asuka, you're in position?"

"You betcha!"

"Rei, are you ready?"

"Yes."

"Good. Execute Operation Bender Mender!"

Shinji took careful aim and fired at range. Extra-hot Vindaloo curry paste blew out from the canon, a brown sauce in a translucent red oil binder. "Absolute Bitterness Field neutralised!" he reported.

The drenched Angel whimpered and flailed, letting Asuka get close enough to fire off her shotgun loaded with salted peanut clusters. "Hah! Eat this, Angel! Here's salt and oil in your eyes!"

Rei dashed in with dual super-sized pretzels at the ready, beating the transparent Angel's core with even-handed blows. With a small smile the girl said, quietly, "Taste my carbohydrates, Angel."

Adam's core broke under the blows and the giant being's hue turned from transparent to amber. Misato appeared with an appropriately scaled beer stein (Masse) as the core yielded to a flowing font of frothy ale (try saying that five times fast).

Operations Director Katsuragi toasted her defeated foe and put her head back.

"Mmm, heavenly..." she mumbled in her sleep, having inhaled half her pillow.

-fin-