Alex immediately noticed a change in Olivia when she came back from the bathroom. She seemed tense which didn't make sense at all. From what Alex could tell, they were all having a great time. She thought about pulling her aside to find out if she was okay but quickly reminded herself that it wasn't her place.
"Here, finish your drink" Sutton offered as Olivia approached. She had also noticed something off about the detective.
"Thanks" Olivia said, glancing around but not seeing Rachel or Jamie. Alex was busy flipping through pictures on an iPhone. She had never seen Alex use an iPhone before. She couldn't help but find it kind of cute.
"She's adorable" the blonde said, handing the phone back to Sutton.
"Her sweet looks deceive, she's a little devil" Sutton said.
"Where are Jamie and Rach?" Olivia interrupted.
"Rachel had to go and Jamie went with. They said to tell you 'bye'" Sutton replied, sipping her vodka soda.
"God, I could really use a cigarette" Olivia sighed.
Sutton squealed. "Look what mama brought!" she said as she reached in her clutch and pulled out a pack of Camel Lights and handed one to Olivia.
Olivia raised an eyebrow in surprise.
"What?" Sutton said defensively. "I've been out like two times total since I had the baby, I'm going to smoke and drink my face off tonight so you can just relax your sexy little eyebrow."
Sutton took out a cigarette for herself and then offered the pack up to Alex.
"Sure, why not" Alex said, plucking a cigarette out.
"I knew I liked you. Come on, let's go!" Sutton exclaimed. The women finished their drinks and began making their way through the crowd towards the entrance. The bar was even more packed now than it was earlier. Without thinking or looking, Olivia reached back and took Alex's hand.
The gesture made Alex giddy for reasons she couldn't quite make sense of in her current state. She let herself be guided through the crowd.
Olivia let go of Alex's hand when they approached the door. She climbed the few steps to the sidewalk and started for the corner before something made her turn back for Alex.
At that moment, a wave of emotion washed over the detective and she felt like she was drowning. It was like déjà vu and a heart attack wrapped in one. She looked down at her hand and swore she could feel Alex's blood seep through her fingers.
A few steps behind, Alex noticed the frozen look on her face right away.
"Olivia?"
It took a moment before the brunette could focus again and bring her eyes forward to meet Alex's.
"Hey, you look like you've seen a ghost" Alex said gently.
Before Olivia could respond, Alex looked back from where she had come and in that second, she knew exactly what Olivia had been thinking, without even fully understanding it herself. The steps… the sidewalk… Olivia walking ahead in front of her… it was almost an exact reproduction of the night she had been shot.
Alex lost her breath and felt her stomach turn and then tighten. She was paralyzed for the following moments. Finally, she turned back to Olivia, her face pale.
They stared at each other for what felt to both women like forever.
Sutton interrupted, unaware of what had transpired.
"Ladies, I gotta go. Apparently Reese has a fever and John is flipping his shit" she said as she typed away on her phone.
"Ok, doll, love you" she said reaching out with one arm to hug Olivia and kiss her cheek.
"And you" she said to Alex, pulling her into a hug.
"So, so great to meet you. Get my number from Liv and text me about that museum thing, I really want to go."
The two watched Sutton hail a cab and pull away.
Olivia turned back to Alex.
"Light?" Alex asked, waving the cigarette. She wasn't interested in reliving the emotions of the moment Sutton had thankfully interrupted. It was too intense. She just wanted to go back to having fun.
Olivia handed her a book of matches, their fingers touching briefly during the exchange.
"I didn't know you smoked, Alex" Olivia said, trying to return to normal. Alex lit a match only for it to burn out before she could light the cigarette properly.
"I don't. I mean, I haven't in years" Alex said through pursed lips which held the cigarette in place as she tried to unsuccessfully tried to light it again.
"Jesus!" she exclaimed upon her third, failed attempt.
Olivia laughed and before Alex knew what was happening, the detective took the matches from her hand and gently pulled the cigarette from the blonde's lips before inserting it between her own. She lit it effortlessly, took a long pull and exhaled as she handed the cigarette back to the blonde.
Alex smiled. She wanted to kiss her in that moment. Once again, she reminded herself of how drunk she was.
Olivia lit her own cigarette. "Me neither" she said.
Alex looked at her quizzically having already forgotten what they were talking about.
"Smoke" Olivia explained. "But sometimes, it just feels right, don't you think?"
Alex eyed the brunette as her brain worked in overdrive, trying to figure out what was happening to her.
"Your friends are wonderful" she offered, changing the subject.
"Yeah, they are pretty great" the brunette responded. "And they loved you, that's for sure."
Alex noted a hint of irritation in Olivia's tone. She wasn't certain why it was there but it didn't feel threatening to her, more sad than angry actually.
"I wouldn't have stood a chance if I were a brunette though, huh?"
"Oh, totally, then they would have hated you" Olivia teased.
A cold wind blew and Alex shivered. "Mine's out" she said, gesturing to her now unlit cigarette.
"Mine's making me sick" Olivia admitted with a sheepish grin. She tossed the cigarette to the curb.
"So, what do you say? One more drink?" Alex asked, coyly cocking her head back toward the bar.
Olivia smiled.
"Ok, blondie, one more drink."