Chapter XVI Hurt feelings

A'maelamin- beloved one

Tanya awra- it hurts

Amin mela lle- I love you

Music:Coheed and Cambria's Welcome Home

Prince Nuada

My sister had written a letter. I opened it on the last day of my vacation in the library. When I was halfway through it, I wanted to rip the paper into the shreds. It cut me deeply like a serrated blade.

(in elven)

A'maelamin brother,

Have you noticed how peaceful you are since we found you? I'm so glad we are civilians now, not the life you used to lead. Remember I always urged you not to war with the humans?

Our bond seems weaker now. I could not sense you when you were with your friends. I'm sorry. I still wonder why this is the case. I always will love and respect you my brother. I miss our mother so much. Do you miss her as much? You often had violent nightmares when she died.

Of course I did. She had miscarried our third brother or sister. After that I never forgave the child. I flew into dark rages seeing happy complete families passing by us. Unwittingly, I became overprotective of Nuala my only sister and twin.

I was scared that I would lose you brother. I need a balance or my worries would drive me mad. Please don't be angry. Our twin-relationship has been a double-edged sword. Now Abraham Sapien is my mate. You have to accept my decision. But he is most definitely not the cause of our weakened telepathy. Nuada, we can always meet each other. Forgive me if this letter upsets you. Words are easier written than spoken. I hope you'll support my decisions.

I wanted to bash that fish up. I hate him! She says it's nothing to do with us? How can she choose him over me? He's not our kind. Upset is an understatement of what I was going through this moment. My heart ached with grief as well. Nuala didn't care. She did not need any permission. Did she not consider how I felt?

Amin mela lle….. Why hurt me like this? I crumpled the sheet into a ball and paced.

"Nuada are you all right?" the girl asked.

"Yes. I wish to be alone," I replied shakily. Goddess are pain and separation always a part of me? But I can't take this anymore! I have been so patient.

I took out an elven history book. My eyes stung. I hated this weakness.

A click sound. The door swung open. "Hey come outside. You need to eat something."

I glared at the pages before me, not able to absorb anything. I must not cry.

"No."

She was still behind me. I kept my back to her, pretending to look for another volume.

"Knowing you both is good enough for me. You don't need to find more about our heritage, Nuada. It's best to leave things as they are."

"Your heritage is very important. It gives meaning to our existence. Aren't you in the least bit enthusiastic about it?" I demanded, my voice rising. We were across the table and perhaps she was too far to notice my agony.

Then I added almost to myself. "I have to do something, in return. Stop bothering me."

Her thoughts were- it's all right. You don't have to do anything.

The halflings are so ignorant.

After what seemed like hours, my fury subsided. I felt resigned and sad.

When I went back to the BPRD, I didn't go and see Nuala. It was good enough to spend time in the little forest with the firegirl. She was simple and didn't probe into my private matters. Sometimes my wounds hurt tremendously but the next day they would subside. I put all my soul into training. It was therapeutic to flex my muscles and move with the swords and sabers. Salem told me not to overdo the training but if I didn't, I would find myself brooding and becoming depressed.

Elves don't get sick, but I felt cold especially during nightfall. Eventually, I had to cease physical training sessions when the headaches worsened. My sister would come and talk to me. I listened without any commitment. I could barely breathe. Had no stamina for extensive missions. Uriel and Salem spent more time in my room. I needed an oxygen mask sometimes.

I missed my mortal friends. Why didn't Laira write me back? She didn't reply my telepathic projections either.

For a period of time, I felt stable and they were short on agents. I went along.

When they split up for the wolves' case, an iron band suddenly surrounded my lungs. I could not call out, only fainted. An intense trembling overcame me, I tried to stop but I could not. Strong arms around me, I thought I saw the demon saying something. Liz cried out, bursting into flame. The heat could not help the chill in my bones.

Blackness.

I briefly woke up when my friend finally came. She'd pierced my telepathy. My throat burned. Water did not help much. I could barely stay awake, a heaviness smothering me with its blanket. Hot pain scorched my lungs.

Time passed. I asked if she was angry at me. I forced myself to look at her blue eyes, so beautiful. Somehow she lent me strength. You didn't reply my letters. Are you angry?

I had difficulty embracing my gifts. Nuada, my hand hurt. But it's lousy excuse. I should have talked with you more.

To me they were just words. I said, Fey must honor promises. Twice I am in your debt.

Get better quickly. Then you start talking about that, man. Rest. You won't be alone.

You have forgiven me. I let my anger possess me… Such a relief to rest.

Laira

Nuada's smile was beatific. He must be suffering like an asthmatic, wheezing like that. His lips were cracked and grey, his normally bright ambers had become pale yellow. I was glad he finally dropped off to sleep. Uriel came in looking grave. He pried Nuada's fingers loose, feeling his chest. Then other people came in with an oxygen mask.

He moaned, wanted to pull it off. Uriel spoke to him soothingly. I took his sweaty hand and told him not to struggle. 'I don't want. Tanya awra.' As Nuada cried out, I felt his agony.

"Rest, not for long. We are looking for the antidote." Uriel touched his hair to sooth him and a white light emitted from his hand. The elf went limp. His breath misted the mask.

Like a snake's anti venom, the herb or potion had to counteract the effects of poison. Nuada was usually very fit, but stress and exhaustion had taken its toll. Had something happened? We never found out. Then I heard Nuala say she had given him a letter.

Maybe that caused his mood to darken so much. The prince had tried to talk to me before he left. Silent, I hadn't gone to embrace him. I took out two more letters that I had opened late.

Dear Lyra,

Your brother wrote to me. He says he enjoys being an archaeologist. My name means to acquire. My father named me after the Celtic god of war and healing. I don't know if I live up to this reputation. What do you think?

Are you still angry with me? Liz and you love metal music right? I cannot fathom that but it is fine. Your name has no translation, but the closest would be 'of higher ambitions' – Lirael. It sounds like a sorceress. The spelling is the same as the book you lent me. You are on a discovering journey. Mellonea is Elven for friendship.

I wish I can talk to you again. But when you are busy, I am free. The missions keep me occupied. We have to cooperate. I am finding them easier as allies. Red is reckless and funny. When will you write me back? I want to see your letter.

Sincerely, Nuada

He had sounded so eager and I had deeply hurt his feelings by not answering. I had seriously not got any calls. In the written form, Nuada's voice rung much warmer in sincerity than verbal speeh. Maybe it was upbringing and years of agony and separation that caused his stoicism and monotone? Then I could not fault his arrogance.

Hi guys!

My friends found a rare breed of blue flowers in Bethmora. They stay in full bloom at night for a week. Would you come to view them with me? Thank you for your concern. I'm resting most of the time now. It's difficult to breathe sometimes. I will wait patiently for your reply, my friends.

This final letter had been so brief and looked scribbled. He must have fallen seriously ill. Joe had slipped it between the bills. Had Nuada gone alone, and feel betrayed?

I prayed as I have never prayed before. It stopped me from weeping, my eyes stung anyway. Everytime I awoke hopeful, Nuada did not respond to my touch. I am not religious. The last time I went to church was to attend a funeral for a relative but I felt hollow. Who should I call upon?

He had many gods and goddesses. Were they playing with his life now?

I beg you higher powers. Anyone who is listening, please don't take Nuada away. We need him. He doesn't tell us how much pain he is enduring. I will do anything to have him look at me and speak to me again. I don't care if he bosses me around. Please help him.

Nuala was guilty about what she'd mentioned in the last letter. But I could not hate her. We both cared for him.

The patient shivered, coughing. When we touched him, he seemed less pained. I tried to let him know he was not alone.

Abraham said he might have hit on a species of flower. It was supposedly endangered and found only in Bethmora. A violet Amaranth. Everyone would help to look. Manning said it was all right, missions could wait.

I had seen him come once to the ward and shook his head. "Was Nuada ok before he left that night?" I asked.

"He was. Liz and him are close, she didn't notice anything unusual. I am sorry. I hope the prince gets well."

I left the ward. Needed to take action. I couldn't just wait.

"Uriel, take care of him. I'm going to find the flower too." The handsome elf agreed, his smile less radiant now. Nuala sat down on a bench outside. Her cheeks were wet.

"I must have hurt him deeply. How can he ever forgive me, Laira?" she said.

"He will. He does forgive you."

Dozen types of flowers all violet in color. Which one? Abraham Sapien showed the elf twin all the pictures we snapped by a kind of projector.

Liz said, "Let's take them all. Maybe we can combine them as a brew."

"Hmm, I don't know." Abe considered this, scrolling through every specimen.

Hellboy Red yelled that he found something else. He looked funny jumping up and down with his long tail, trampling the grass. He picked up a spider lily. I smiled.

Nuala said, "They all look similar. We don't know if that will work Liz."

Abraham asked, "How is the prince?"

"Not much difference. He sleeps fitfully and does not respond to my calls."

My scar itched as I passed my hand over them all.

I said, "Abe, give them to me." Feeling each one did not yield any result, until one lit up the scar. The agents watched me in fascination. "This one," I said.

"Whoa you got serious magic!" Hellboy commented.

Abraham snapped his fingers. "Nuala we're coming back now." Liz placed the other flowers into plastic containers.

Hellboy lit up his cigar. "Well that's settled then. Let's make it fast! Then party."

Liz sighed. "Sorry he's never serious."

I followed them into the transport. "It's all right. I think Nuada will be fine. Was he happy?"

She nodded. Her voice took on a dreamlike quality, "We met every evening to talk. He is very nature-oriented. I was horrified when he fainted. Red got there first, shaking him. Nuada trembled so much. Even our coats didn't warm him! It was very scary."

I saw it clearly, how they talked to him and Red carrying him as he shivered. I thanked the demon.

He shrugged. "Ah no prob. Can't have him lie there, it'd not match the floor. Such will power!"

Abraham added, "He fought all the way. That's what caused his cold sweat. Uriel advised Nuada to rest. Moving around worsened the spreading. It isn't near his heart. So I am sure he will be fine." I prayed again fervently.

His sister came to meet us and took some of the Amaranth's nectar in a cup. The rest of it would be on drip. The elf warrior's hair was soaked by sweat. "Drink it, brother." She held up his head and placed the cup to his lips.

He coughed. I stroked his throat. Tiny swallows. "That's it!" Nuala said encouragingly. Most of the drink went down.

"We found the medicine." I pulled the blanket over him. After a while, Nuada stopped shivering. It had worked. Or at least started its healing property.

Some medical staff came in with an IV pole and fixed to his wrist. The patient lay deathly still, taking each tiny breath. Fine, I went to sleep lying on my arms near him.

I was nodding off. Movement of his fingers. The sick elf frowned. "Wake up. Will you please?" I whispered.

******

It was like magic when Nuada sighed, opening his eyes. Clear golden.

I laughed. We've been worried. How inconsiderate of you.

Nuala got up from her chair and took his other hand.

"How is the pain?"

He rasped. "Great…. How long?" He meant how long he'd been unconscious.

"Not sure, been real long." He turned his head. Said my name with a celtic pronounciation.

*The elven from this site: greyhaven url but it can't show properly here. msg me and i will tell u where to find it.