Uncanny Coincidence, Unexpected Encounter, Unfair Requests
Uncanny Coincidence
Jonathan and I are leaving the movie theater after our date when he stops just outside the entrance and beckons me off to the side. "Put your mitts on, Love, it's freezing out here." He asks and bends over to give me a long, luxurious kiss. We chose this particular theater because it was far from home, so we wouldn't run into anyone we know.
"Hey guys! Small world! Which movie did you see?" We spin around (him on his feet, me in my chair) to see who is speaking, only to be face to face with Isabelle Lightwood, the most popular girl in school. Izzy was always a friend of mine, and even came to visit me in the hospital. But she has no idea about Jonathan and I at least, she didn't until now.
"Um, hi, Izzy, we, uh, watched that new Rom-com. The one with that actress you like. What about you?" I say, trying not to blush beet red.
"Oh, yeah, no that's the one I saw too. I thought it might have been the two of you making out in the back row the whole time. But then I was like, no way! It can't be. But I guess it was." She smiles wickedly at me, like a cat that ate a canary. "You know, Clary, when I asked you last year if your brother was single, you could have just told me you were keeping him all to yourself. I mean, I suppose if I had a brother who looked like that, I might be tempted too. Don't worry, I won't say anything. That is, of course, if you'd both be so kind as to grant me one teeny tiny favor?"
I knew it, here comes the blackmail. "What exactly would you like, Isabelle?" I smile, sighing inwardly.
"Well, you both know my boyfriend, Simon, right? I'm not sure if you knew it or not, but he has a band. And well, they need some exposure, and so I thought maybe you might be kind enough to let them play at Clary's little Get Well/Going Away party? They're really good. They're calling themselves the Smashed Flat Melons right now. Last week they were Marshmallows in Cocoa. Anyway, what do you say? I'd hate for my loose lips to end up sinking your little love-boat here, if you catch my meaning." She grins, beaming ear to ear. Yup, now we're in for it alright.
"Fine, they can play. But I want the chance to approve their playlist before the party and full veto power, okay?" Jonathan relents.
"Yeah and if they change their band name so often anyway, can I pick one for the party that's better than Smashed Flat Melons please?" I beg.
"Yeah, I don't think they'll care. A gig's a gig, right?" She smiles, practically jumping for joy. "I can't wait to tell them! Thank you, so, so much! I'm glad we ran into each other." And with that, she tears off to where her mom is waiting to drive her home.
"So what are you planning on renaming them then?" Jon inquires.
"I dunno, how about the Electric Wheelchairs?" I laugh.
"Really, you wouldn't prefer the Incestuous Siblings?" He smirks.
"Jonathan!" I screech, hitting him playfully.
Unexpected Turnout
When the day of the party finally rolls around, Jon tells me that I'm not allowed to help with the preparations and kicks me out of the house so that I'm not tempted to lift a finger. I go to the public library because it's the only place within rolling distance where I can just sit around and not have to buy anything, plus I have a library card, so I'll sign some books out while I'm here.
I'm sitting at one of the tables reading a book about sparkling vampires (just to see what all the fuss is about) when a familiar looking girl approaches. "Clarissa Morgenstern? No. Way!" It takes me a minute to place her, but then I realize its Maia Roberts, a girl I went to Junior High with. She used to be in all of my dance classes as well.
"Oh, my gosh! Maia? Wow, it's been ages! How have you been?" I ask, wheeling my chair over to her. At that point she realizes that I hadn't just been sitting in one of the library chairs.
"What happened to you?" She asks, her eyes welling up with tears and her voice cracking. "No one told me, no one said anything."
"Yeah, I've been so focused on my recovery I've hardly had any time to see friends from my school, let alone get in touch with any of my old ones, I'm sorry. There's actually a party tonight, if you want to come though. It's a get well/going away party. I've been accepted into a rockin physio program in Minnesota, so I'm actually relocating in a few days." I say, trying to make light of it so she doesn't start crying.
"Oh, okay wow. Umm, if you don't mind my asking, what kind of injury are you recovering from? Did you hurt your legs or something?" Maia asks. With curiosity as well as concern, written all over her face.
"No, I don't mind you asking. It's actually a spinal cord injury so, my recovery is pretty challenging, which is why the program they chose for me is the best of the best. Otherwise, I never would have agreed to leave New York like this. It's going to be so hard on my family, especially Jon." I sigh, looking away to hide my emotions.
"Yeah, I bet. You two were always so close. Why doesn't he just come with you? He's not in college yet, right?" She smiles.
"No he isn't, but he can't come, I, they would have allowed it of course, but I lied and told him they advised against it." I say quietly, staring at my feet.
She sits down in a chair beside me "Why? You don't want him to go with you?" She asks gently.
"I do, but, there's some other stuff going on that I don't want him to know about. So I'm taking this time out in Minnesota to deal with that as well and depending on how that goes, I might come back or I might not." I say, my voice starting to break. The thought of not seeing my family again is almost too much.
"Wow, is it, something that, it might help to talk about? I'm good at keeping secrets and pretty good at advice if you want any that is." Maia says, reassuringly.
"Thanks, I wish I had someone to talk to about it. But my parents would just tell me to talk to Jon and I'm not willing to do that at this point. And I don't trust any of my friends to keep it secret." I exhale, totally exhausted from everything that's been weighing on me.
"You can tell me, Clarissa, I swear on everything that is dear to me, I won't say a word to anyone. Whatever you tell me, stays between us, okay?" She smiles.
"Yeah, yeah, I trust you Maia. Umm, after my accident, I also found out… that I'm pregnant. So that's another reason I need to go to the Mayo clinic because they can help me not only with my recovery but also in trying to manage a healthy pregnancy alongside of it. So that's why you can't tell anyone. Especially not my family and most certainly not Jon, okay?" I beg.
"Wow, yeah, no of course I won't say anything but Clary, why do you not want your brother to know that you're… oh." The answer must have been written all over my face and Maia's not dumb, so yeah, now she knows everything.
"Clary, he didn't… umm, like, make you do anything, did he?" She asks awkwardly. "Because, if you need help, then we can get you help, you know that don't you?" She smiles tentatively.
"No, Maia, thank you, but it wasn't anything like that. It's been mutual. I know it's weird, but we're technically dating. Which is part of the reason I'm so hesitant to leave, but I know I have to." I shake my head in despair.
"Okay, well, if everything is fine between the two of you, why don't you want to tell him?" To her credit, she seems to have gotten past the whole incest thing reasonably quickly (or is just choosing to ignore it for my sake).
"Well, I know that inbred babies can have problems, even die. And with my SCI (which stands for Spinal Cord Injury), I'm considered a high risk pregnancy in the first place. I don't want to tell him and get his hopes up and then possibly lose the baby. I think that would probably kill him. I can't stand to hurt him like that. So, the only way I will be able to tell him, is if I end up by some miracle giving birth to a healthy child. Going away and having him stay here means that if I do lose the baby, he never has to know I was even pregnant in the first place. He never has to grieve." I sigh.
"Oh Clarissa! I hope you don't mind my saying so, but, I don't think that's very healthy. Not for you and the baby or for your relationship with Jonathan. You shouldn't have to bear all of this on your shoulders without his help for one thing, not when it's his baby too and you already have so much on your mind to worry about. Besides, what happens if you do deliver a healthy child? You don't think he's going to feel robbed that he didn't get to be with you through your pregnancy and the birth of his child? You don't think that might hurt him more?" She speaks gently and I can tell she's not trying to be hurtful but the words still sting.
"Maia, I've thought of all of that. I know that keeping this secret from Jonathan is likely to blow up in my face, but I just have to hope that he will be able to see that my intentions were good. Maybe you've never known anyone who lost a baby before, but I have. And I can tell you it, almost killed them. It nearly destroyed their marriage, and I don't know if their hearts ever fully healed. I won't do that to Jonathan because I love him enough to never, ever want to see him hurt that way. If I lose him in the process, I suppose that's my cross to bear.
"There might not be much honor in what I'm doing, but there is kindness in it and that will have to be enough. As an old family friend of ours used to say, sometimes you can't have both." I say, unable to meet her gaze.
I know she thinks what I'm doing is wrong, and frankly, maybe most people would. But most people never had to watch their parent's marriage nearly fall apart at the age of ten over the loss of their baby sister. There is a headstone in the local cemetery that reads 'here lies Valentina Morgenstern, beloved daughter whose first breath was also her last' and it still gets fresh flowers every month because after six years, my parents still grieve her. So forgive me, for not wanting that for Jonathan.
"Okay, well, I've said my peace, so don't worry, I won't say anymore. And if it's still alright, I would like to come to your going away party tonight. What time does it start?" She says, cheerful once again.
"At eight o'clock. And yes you're definitely welcome. And hey, if you still talk to anyone else we knew in Junior High, you can invite them too. It would probably be more fun for you if there are at least a few people there that you already know." I say, smiling, my sorrow and stress temporarily forgotten.
"Yes, for sure I will! Thanks Clary! I'll see you then!" She heads off to leave me to my reading, and I lose myself in my book again, wishing that my problems were as trivial as Bella's.
Unfair Requests
Well, the party is definitely hoppin. Simon's band is actually pretty good. I don't know how Jon did it but all of our friends are here, plus a lot of them brought people and Maia even came through, there's a whole bunch of our old friends from Junior High here who attend her high school now. Some of them I haven't even seen in years. And the craziest part is, Jon never told everyone 'no presents' like he should have, so a lot of them brought gifts, which I totally didn't expect. There is a giant mound of them taking up our whole dining room table!
Everyone seems to be having a blast, which I attribute to the music and make a mental note to thank Simon and the rest of his band later. Eventually however, Jonathan texts me and asks me to meet him in my room. I begrudgingly head in there because the band is doing a cover of one of my favourite songs and I hate to miss it. "Hey Babe, what's up?" I ask him.
"I've just been missing you, that's it. I wanted kisses and I thought you'd prefer somewhere out of the way." He pouts.
"Oh, well I'm always up for kisses, why didn't you say so?" I smile. He gets down on his knees and brings his face in close to mine and that's when I smell it. "Jonathan? You've been drinking!" I say.
"What? Nope, all I've had is the punch! I made it myself and I swear I didn't put nothin' funny in it." He says, slurring his speech a bit and butchering the English language.
"Okay, then why did you just use a double negative?" I ask. "Did you spike the punch Jon, after I asked you not to?" I huff.
"No, I didn't but thanks for the vote of confidence. Maybe someone else did, if you're so convinced that there is booze in it. But I severely doubt it. I feel fantabulous and sotally tober." He assures me, not realizing how drunk he actually sounds.
"Yeah, well I'm pretty sure there is, so that's just great. By now, I'm sure everyone's freaking drunk, which is just peachy, considering I can't have any!" I grumble.
"Yeah, what's up with that? I read like all the bottles they sent home with you and none of them said 'don't mix with alcohol'. Did they give you something new since then?" He asks, looking innocently at me and making kissy lips.
"Umm, I think it's one of the new ones, yeah. I just remember reading something somewhere and don't I want to take any chances, okay? I'm sure you can understand that." I smile sweetly, trying to seem calm and casual about it.
"Yeah, I understand. Everything you do now, you do for your recovery, yup. I get that. Just like you leaving. You need to do it for your recovery. It's not like you want to be ripping my heart out or anything, you just need to do it to get your legs back. And I want so much for you to get better, so, that's why I'm only gonna ask you this, selfishly, one time. And only because, as you so kindly pointed out, I seem to be a bit intoxicated. "Would you even consider enrolling in a locally based program instead, for my sake? Please? I don't want to lose you." He says, batting self-consciously at tears he'd rather I didn't see.
"Oh Jonathan, I am so, so, sorry for doing this to you, all of this! I'm sorry for every last thing that has been bothering you about this, and even the things that haven't yet. I'm sorry that I have to leave, but you know I can't stay. I'm doing this for our… future. And it needs to be this way, okay? I wish I could explain it better, but that's all I got, Jon. I love you so, so much. And I hope, in spite of how shitty this all seems for you, you'll still come to the airport to see me off? I know it's a lot to ask of you but I really want yours to be the last face I see before I get on the plane. I think it'll be easier to leave if I can focus on what I will eventually be coming back to, okay, please?" I beg.
"I'll come on one condition, Clary. Will you make a pact with me? I know it's not fair to expect this, but can we please promise each other not to see anyone else in the meantime? I don't want any other girl but you. I never will, Baby Sister. I never will. Please!" By this point he's showing me with kisses on every inch of my face and neck and chest and whispering his words in my ear. "I know you'd be batting 'em away like flies. But if you want, I can get you some fly swatters, okay just, please be mine? Stay mine? Clary, please, Baby? It isn't just the time apart I'm worried about. It's that some asshat in Minnesota is gonna sweep you off of your beautiful feet and I will lose you forever. I'm scared, Baby; I'm so scared of losing you." He is sitting with his head in my lap and I softly stroke his hair as he cries.
"Well, I don't think you would have had much to worry about anyway, since I am going there for physio and not for romance, silly, but yes, I will promise you that." I smile, assuring him that I mean it.
"Really, you'd do that for me?" He looks up at me, eyes hopeful.
"Yes! Of course, I'd be doing it for both of us, Jon. I don't want to lose this anymore than you do, Baby, okay?" I sigh, emotionally drained now, crying myself, while still trying to comfort Jon. "Just, please know that I have no idea how long my recovery will take and I plan to be in Minnesota as long as I need to, alright?"
"I understand, Clary, for sure. It's a one way ticket Baby but when you do eventually do come back, you'll still be mine. And you'll maybe even get your legs back! I would be the happiest man on earth if you could one day fulfill your dream of walking again and I don't care how long I have to Skype with you for while you achieve it." He says, lighting up like a Christmas tree. Crap! I forgot about Skype! Well, I guess that will be interesting once I have a baby belly to conceal. Oh well, dem's tha brakes, sigh. At least Jon's not mad at me. Yet.