Chapter 17 Hellboy- moments in illness

Bold, italics in elven

Music: Lyriel's days of Yore

Prince Nuada

I awoke to a golden light. Have I died? My sister's face floated into view. No then I am still alive. "You've been sleeping for almost 6 days."

I smiled. It hurt less to swallow, respiring did not ache my lungs. My wounds had eased. "Not sure, been real long. I was so scared, Nuada," a familiar feminine voice to my right. I turned. She bathed in the light. Angel? The halfling, red hair gleaming, stepped forward.

I recalled her celtic name. "Lirael." Our fingers connected. She had much to tell me. In my exhausted mind, I only heard the relief and happiness in her tone that I was well and safe. I slept again.

"You look like shit. Don't friggin' faint on us again," a gruff voice spoke on my left side. Hellboy's red skinned body, with his oversized rock hand on my shoulder. I laughed, hurting my throat a bit. I must have collapsed, I remember the ground rushing up when everything went dark.

"Recall the story? You were shaking like some leaf and your eyes went small. Freaked us out. Gasping like an asthma case."

I gestured for water. Hellboy disappeared and returned with a glass of water. My room was darker. How long had I been out?

The coolness helped. I lay down. "Thanks. Didn't know you cared. Aren't I the enemy?"

Red blinked, pondering this. He made me dizzy moving around. His tail whipped behind and curled forward. I saw the red tip on my leg. "No. Awful I felt. You're an athlete and nonsmoker."

I patted his hand. "Sorry." With this contact, his mind opened. An old man comforted a young Hellboy not to weep. Red hugged a dying rabbit in his arms.

'Father, make it ok again. I love her.'

'No my son. Let her go. She is going to a nice place.' The rabbit took its last breath.

Hellboy cried for a long time, cradling his dead pet.

"Oi reading my mind, fairyboy. Quit that!" He grimaced and shook his fist.

"It's understandable. Your father?"

His expression softened. "What did you see, prince?"

I told him. My voice was so feeble that he leaned close to listen. He had listened like that before I died in the chambers.

"Yea that sure hurt. My father was Prof Broom, the best guy in the world. I loved him. But I couldn't be there when he died. If only I could have told him I loved him one last time."

After a while, he said I reminded him of his sick bunny. Oh really? I must be a waif now.

"Don't call me Fairyboy. It's Nuada."

"Whatever. Hey Liz made you a small present. She's gonna come later." He picked up a bunch of violet flowers. It touched me so much I had to hold back the urge to weep. Red's yellow teeth bared in a smile.

****

Since I overexerted it would take much longer for me to become physically active again. It exhausted me just to stay upright for an hour to have food. My appetite came and went, when it returned it was dwarfish. Because my throat was sore, I whispered despite wanting to speak at normal volume.

Uriel dropped in often, sticking thermometers and various instruments in my ears, mouth and under my tongue. "Let me rest friend. Why stick in these things? It hurts like hell." I began coughing.

"Oh you should've thought of that before training to such a frenzy!" he chided.

Annoyance rose, but I was too weak to retort anything. He prodded my chest, listened to my breathing. "Is it clear?"

His blue eyes turned lighter in colour. "Yes thank Thoth. I want you to listen to me, Nuada! This time. Rest, plenty of fluids and whatever they give. By the way Red will be your helper."

The other elf clinked some things on a tray. He shone a light that blinded my eyes.

For what? He continued, " Don't forget you will need to relieve yourself and shower. You won't feel normal. It will be tiring to mend." He held out a bowl.

Humiliating. "Why Red?" I took the bowl and swallowed a sweet drink. Very nice and cooling. Ah! "Your idea of a joke, Uriel?"

"No I am perfectly serious now. Because I am certain you both need this time to forgive each other, Your Highness."

I cursed in all the gaelic dialects I knew-- Wethrinaer (deceitful one), Thaurer (abominable one). Uriel pretended not to care.

"Hello Red! Our patient is very grumpy today. Don't bash him up." The demon waltzed in, folding his disproportionate arms. "You cussing me, fairyboy?"

I shook my head and pointed at Uriel. They laughed. The darn doctor, I will get him!

After having a watery porridge, I naturally needed to relieve myself. Red supported me.

"Why you? Don't you want to pound me with your fist? Here's your chance." I walked shakily to open the door. I closed my eyes to stop my head spinning. What an ordeal!

Sitting up was a pure struggle, spots danced in front of my eyes and the most terrible urge to collapse back on the bed again. Red's strong arm about my waist kept me upright.

"You are pathetic Nuada. But the helpers are under-staffed. Liz asked me to." I read the innuendo in his sarcasm. Reluctant and yet willing. Perhaps they didn't like me, so they all quit. Funny. I smirked.

"Where is Nuala?" She should come! It was embarrassing to have Hellboy see me like this.

"She'll come. But anyway, I'm a guy and more suited to help you do business."

True. A companionable silence. When I settled down in bed again, such a long time because I could not be fast, I took his normal hand. He didn't move away.

"Demon, do you resent me for what I have done?"

Red said gruffly, "Don't talk. You should sleep."

"I do not blame you. I was insane- I stabbed you in the heart."

Red chuckled, spreading the blanket over me. I watched him puzzled. "Quiet. I clearly remember that. Still, you make Liz happy when I piss her off. But I'm gonna fight you when you're up. Don't forget it, fairyboy."

I am glad I failed to stab him.

I smiled and went to sleep.

It was not long before a little voice said Oi Nuada. Ready for visitors, I'm Joe.

"Hi." I said. I grasped his hand. He looked glad. Red was watching tv. I pointed at him.

Joe called Red.

"I need to go urgently." I fought the trembling in my legs.

"Again?" he grumbled, lumbering over. Joe watched me sympathetically. Then he chuckled. I glared.

Red got impatient and carried me in.

"Seriously put some weight in this weak body of yours. What do you eat?" the demon asked. The boy told him what I ate at their house. They made light of me. No respect for a prince. Talking about me as if I were invisible.

"Oh yea ice cream, he loves that."

The lunch came. I was only a little hungry. "Ok eat up. Then we'll give you ice cream. What flavour?"

I enthusiastically picked up the fork and spoon. Joe fluffed up the pillow. "Chocolate."

I finished almost all plus the dessert.

"Yo elf guy!" What kind of greeting was that? But I felt exhilarated when Laira hugged me. "You didn't… shower?" She wrinkled her nose.

"Nope, too tired. Red, I will need your help. Sorry." Hellboy grumbled that he would miss his tv show. I smiled faintly.

I had to take a bath with his support. I hated the pajamas, so I asked sister to bring me loose robes to wear. Standing was much exertion, so I did not like to wear pants, the robe was long enough to cover my private area. The mischevious children liked to peek despite my strong protests. "Hey, stop it. Nothing to see there," I complained trying to hide under the blankets.

Joe grinned. "Aw don't worry."

"You pervert. Come here, let me hit you." I put on my most furious glare. But they didn't care. I learnt to ignore their banter, even smile at their antics. Sister would even join in to bully me. They tease me that I should be more decent.

********

Dinner time. She wanted to feed me. My hands shook too much so I let her. Days spent like that, and I was getting used to banter. But occasionally I refused to finish the food, full and groggy. I had to swallow other herbs that reduced pain.

"Don't want to puke." I turned away.

"Won't. It's only 1 quarter!" He looked angry. But I couldn't.

I pointed out, "If I vomit, you will have extra to clean up."

"Just shove it all in. Give me the spoon." I felt horrified.

Laira put down the bowl and brought out grapes. "Want some, Nuada? Just one more."

They laughed. "Too full. After a while," I said. They did this trick everyday, tempting and bribing me with my favorite fruits. Sometimes the offer was delicious so I managed to finish the whole platter. I like red ones, especially the seedless. Jelly was something I enjoyed, a soft sweet dessert.

Hellboy was excused from most duties as missions were fewer. Manning visited once. He was sympathetic. Not a hollow human.

One day, Nuala came and apologized to me. Frankly I forgot why I had been furious.

Training with weapons had just been a schedule. "Oh the humans? I cannot train them."

I had plain forgotten about my duties.

She clucked. "Brother, don't even think about that! It can wait. Your health." She suffered no pain or weakness. Maybe better that our bond was not close now.

"How long will recovery take?" I dreaded the answer.

2 to 3 months! I lay down dismayed. My twin laughed. "Hey you will accept Abe now, won't you?"

I touched her cheek, did I? "I don't like him. But he helped me, so… I suppose yes. Congrats." I really loved her.

*******

The halflings did not fail to entertain. Reading to me was nice. The movies were welcome. I'd never seen so many movies at one go before. Shrek is my favorite. There are 3 parts. I saw it about 6 times. Funny and romantic too. The ogre and his girl went through much to be together. They chose to stay green instead of human. The meeting with Fiona's father and mother was hilarious. The pig flew into the air.

"Today I want to see it again." I suggested. Laira grinned and slipped it into the player.

"Haha they gain a new fan! Going to have more stories about Puss too, I heard."

"I cannot wait. I like the cat too." She combed my hair strands.

Red nodded. His tail tickled my ear. I laughed. Never thought we could sit together and be at peace. "Stop it. Please." I wiped tears from my eyes. The girls found this comical.

A month was almost finished and the beginning of a new one. Red was still around to assist me. I could feed myself and stand for a little while. So I suggested he could leave me alone today. He must be bored.

"Can't wait for you to be agile again, elf warrior. Can you manage today?"

My sister and friend were anxious. They didn't want me to fall. I wanted to try. Since I had eaten 2 meals everyday, my energy should have returned. Leaning on the demon at first, I tottered to the other end of the room. The chair was a relief. I wiped off sweat from my brow.

They congratulated me. "I'm like a baby with first steps. Thank you."

Red bounded out. "Freedom! At last!"

I shook my head. What, I didn't force him to come here! If only I could run like him… Nuala said she'd get me a fresh shirt.

"When can I go back to my room?" I could see the little forest from here.

"Wait for Uriel to come first."

"Ok. It's fine, you may go." I smiled. Laira came to me and put her hands on my shoulders.

"I prayed for you, Nuada. You really pulled through. I said I'd always be your best friend if they don't let you die." She laid her head on my shoulder. I closed my eyes. My heart was full.

"I won't die. Don't be afraid," I answered softly. "It'll take more than that to defeat me."

She pulled away, blue eyes deepening. "You're the limit! Come, let's get you back in bed now."

Stronger today, I did not feel sleepy. Thankfully I did not have to drink those stupid bitter soups anymore. Laira took out something from a paper bag. Delicious smell. "Want to try one? I baked some yesterday. This is an almond cookie."

"All right. It's nice. You don't want to go outside? I will be fine alone today."

"Nope, the last time I left, such a big thing happened. I won't be bored. Besides, want to check out cute elves."

"I am cute." Mildly affronted. She must mean the other elves. I heard some people discussing about them. From the Elmright's clan, they wanted to have an alliance with the humans. "You think they are more appealing than me?"

She mused. Ooh, someone's jealous. How could they, not royalty. .

Ha, I don't have to be jealous. You stand a better chance going outside if you want to catch a glimpse. Don't think anyone new will come here.

Now I could move around on my own, much relief! The cold still affected me- I had to wear a thick jacket when I left the ward. I could manage short distances.

Subjected to the red demon's 'I can't hear you from over there' when I thanked him. Imagine three to five times of repeating myself! All my patience evaporated at his smugness.

"You're welcome, Fairyboy." He grinned, strapping on his gun.

"Stop that. I am still a prince."

"Not mine."

I sat down to watch them preparing. Liz patted me on the shoulder.

"Hey! You're ok. But you ought to go and lie down now."

"Yes, thank you. Look forward to another conversation." I said.

I wanted to try something. "Hellboy do you really forgive me? I did not hear your answer."

She glared up at him. "Hello! I'm confiscating those cigars of yours."

So cute this blackmail. They had bribed him, on top of paying extra.

"Yea yea. I did say it. Maybe you did not hear me." He waited till she went out of sight and growled.

I looked innocently back at him. "What? I'm just making sure."

******

Next day I asked Liz to go to the forest with me. I missed our conversations. "Did they give you the green light to leave?"

"Not exactly. But I can manage. I've eaten a meal."

She looked at me critically. "Provided I ask the doctor's permission first."

No no, he won't hear of it. I shook my head.

"Ok I will hold your arm. If you start breathing hard, I'm gonna stop and send you back, prince."

"As you wish." Liz supported me. We walked at an even pace. I felt really blissful outdoors. Birds twittered. The sun brought a nice glitter to the lush foliage. When I had been absent, one bush had evidently bloomed.

"It's nice. What species?"

"Rhododendron." I sat down beside it. Liz joined me. Previously we had only watched the stars and the sunset. Now I felt more like sharing my knowledge of the plants and wildlife. "Are you familiar with this birdcall?"

It was therapeutic. Liz was impressed and learnt many things. When we were about to leave, she suddenly confided that her loneliness had been part of her for such a long time. Many things emerged- her times in the asylum, afraid to hurt people, Professor Broom. She cried for some time. I listened, the only thing I could do.

"I'm sure they don't blame you. It's all right."

"Prince, thank you." Her nose and eyes were red, but she smiled.

"Call me Nuada."

"Ok. Look did I embarrass you? Sorry."

My own grief welled up. "I also sinned. I killed alateir with my own hands. Do you think he can see me now?"

Liz seemed surprised, a frown on her fair face. I did not want to weep. Her face blurred.

She clasped my hand.

"Forgive yourself, Nuada. You don't have to feel alone."

We walked in silence back to my room. Liz asked if I had told the children yet. Not yet. How, what would they think of me?

I still felt feeble and was forbidden to use my weapons. I looked longingly at the scimitars and sabers in their pristine positions. If I could exercise it would take my mind off the grief. I had opened a chasm that could not seal. At least the nightmares had ceased. Our parents visited me sometimes, in my dreams, but I felt too ashamed to speak to them.

Nuala asked to come in. We opened our minds to our mutual connection. I shared the pain with her.

Do you forgive me, dear sister? I have sinned much.

I am happy for you. Yes I never hated you. Where is the forest? I haven't been there yet.

I will show you. Where is Abraham?

She pressed her forehead to mine. Planted a kiss. I decided to spend more time with you, brother. I'm sorry too for neglecting you. I won't again. We should meet more.

What? Nothing else will happen, I cannot go anywhere outside. 3 months! I knocked my forehead. I led the way to the exit which was a few minutes from my quarters. A guard greeted us.

"Behold sanctuary!"

Nuala laughed and took my hand. "It is indeed beautiful! I see a little fairy. We used to play with them."

"Yes, I remember our carefree times." A tickling sensation in my mind.

Nuada! Where are you? Run away?The halfling said in amusement.

No, I am in the forest.

What? Where is that?

Don't move. Where are you now? We will meet you.

"Come sister. My little halfling is here. Do you think she will be angry with me?"

My sister shook her head. "If anything, she won't. She thinks the world of you. Do not hold this burden alone."

Laira was eating something. Her hair was longer this time and she stopped within inches of hugging me. "So strong already eh?"

"Not really. Hurry, I don't want my friends to see me."

I pushed open the heavy door. Sunlight and trees. In the forest, all was serene and calm. Holding all our secrets. Nuala and her spoke about carefree things. I wished I hadn't killed my father.

"I want to tell you something. I leave you free to judge me." I began. I met her open blue gaze.

"Ok."

The grave sin of regicide out in the open, my heart was on trial. Laira did not reply.

"You always come here? Quite a cool place."

"Yes, Liz showed it to me. We came here before I fell ill."

The half-elf lay down on the grass. Nuala touched my shoulder. Brother, I have a premonition everything will be all right. "Laira what do you think? Nuada is anxious to know your answer."

I nodded. Do not hate me. I hope you will not, because our friendship is so important.

"I felt stunned. Like, how could you do such a thing?" she said neutrally.

"Yes?" My hands were clammy.

"But it is already over. You feel pain and remorse. It will be wrong to judge and condemn you, Silverlance." I smiled and this time I pulled her close to my embrace.

"Thank you. It consoles me."

"So, want to try some more? I made more cookies. It's a bit burnt." She scooted away and opened a container. Nuala had a broad smile. We tasted.

My sister wanted more. I could get addicted to these human food. She talked more about her failed attempts. I did not think they were too bad.

Hey Nuada stop brooding. It's bad for health. Are you tired?

A little. "Let's stay for a while longer please." I stopped to push aside some leaves. A marking on the tree bark. Pressing my hand to it I could hear its voice. "Can you try?"

They could not hear anything. Laira declared, "Ok, let's return to base now. Come back tomorrow. I'm telling Uriel how bad you are."

"Don't you dare!" I scowled. "He's making me a prisoner. I don't like staying indoors for so long."

Nuala laughed at this. "Guys, don't fight anymore. She is right, we should put you in a wheelchair."

"What? Girls ganging up on me. " I took both their hands. "I'm no cripple."