Performance Anxiety: Tabby's Story

(otherwise entitled, "If The Author Turned Out To Be A Fairy)

The moment I woke up, I knew my day was going to end the same way it began- flopped on my bed, utterly exhausted. My brain ran through all the reasons I should get up, namely that I was an announcer and a performer in a choir concert that night, the fact that I was dangerously close to failing Math II (hey, I'm dyscalculaic. Math is like Greek to me. Worse, actually... at least I know a little Greek), and the minor detail that I had to talk to my best friend Maydy about a character she was planning to submit for one of my fanfics.

See? I told myself. It's a big day ahead of you. I wasn't convinced.

By the time I managed to get myself out of bed, my clock said 6:30... eight minutes before I had to make the half mile walk to my bus stop, which would come at 6:45, but my clock was eight minutes fast... don't ask why eight, honestly, I am not quite sure myself. I threw on a pair of black slacks from my uniform last year (they abolished the idea of school uniforms at the beginning of this August, which was nice) and a rainbow striped sweater. Slipping on my comfy pink ballet flats and grabbing my bag, I left my apartment, one of my six siblings (the fifteen year old brother-y one) walking behind me.

The walk and the bus ride were mainly uneventful. Getting to school, however...

Well, it was odd, as always.

Let me explain. My school is not an arts school per se... but, it's artsy, in the interactive and nontraditional sense. And odd. I joked that there is always a story to tell at the end of the day. Examples? In my history class, we once reenacted trench warfare by throwing paper balls at each other. Another day, we entered the school only to find a bunch of people handing out free donuts. A science teacher lets her pet rabbit Sugarbaby hop around the lab, in my junior-year-take-one there was a flash mob of sorts where fifty kids sang the theme song to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, and today, for no apparent reason, the administration decided to bring in sushi for us at lunch.

Another reason to get up, I noted.

When I got to my seat in the gym (one of the few pre-class gathering places), my friends were already engaged in discussion.

"Is it fun?" Beautiful (yes, that's really her name) asked.

Kimbreyana snorted. "Does it hurt?"

Amado just smiled.

I frowned. "What are y'all talking about?"

"Gay sex. Amado had it." Kim sighed.

Amado's smirk was bigger now. "Wow," I said. "So, you're officially unavailable to the ladies now?"

"I always have been," he said.

"Not what I thought when I saw you with Mamie," I joked. But I knew better. Though Amado was fairly openly gay... well, very openly... he did shout "I'm queer!" last Valentine's Day while walking down the hallways, a very brave move for the deep south... that was commonly forgotten, especially as he and his best friend Mamie had this flirty banter going on.

We laughed, and I looked around the gym. There were distinct cliques, but not the typical ones, ie jocks, nerds, junkies. We had the unique geeks (my group, distinguished from the normal geeks since we were socially acceptable to hang with), the geeky geeks, the kids who hunted/rednecks, the ones who really didn't care, the ghetto kids, and the Orch Dorks/Band Geeks/Choir Nerds who weren't in another group already.

When the bell rang, we all jumped up. "Catch you later," I said to Beautiful, Kim, and Amado as I headed to my first period BritLit. Maydy (full name, Amanda Lynn) was already there, reading. As always, I tried to sneak up on her, and as always, she caught me. "Nice try," she said in her cute Southern twang.

I smiled and got out Macbeth, which we were currently studying. "I'm not at the top of my game," I excused. "I'm tired and there's a concert tonight."

"Ah," she said.

From across the room, a girl complained about not being able to read because reading made her sleepy. I looked at Maydy incredulously. "That's crazy. No book has ever put me to sleep except for The Old Man And The Sea and The Catcher In The Rye." I tapped a library copy of the second, to add emphasis.

"You're trying to read it again?"

"It's Zoë's favorite. I figure I need to get through it at least once. But there's too many swears, and I can't relate to Holden at all... he's too much of a guy."

"You're such a girl."

"My point exactly."

"Speaking of... got your character!*"

"Oooh, awesome. You named her Lynn... and she's Irish... and she... she's a total self-insertation isn't she."

Maydy put on a guilty face. "No."

We talked pretty much through the period... our teacher didn't care. Then Computer Class zoomed by. And before long, it was choir.

We ran the songs, and then the four announcers went on stage to practice... well, announcing.

When it was my turn, I cleared my throat. "Os Justi is a biblical piece based on... um... something from Psalms... "

Ms A, the choir teacher, told me what to say. I repeated it, embarrassed that I didn't remember to begin with. I promised to memorize it by that night.

I blocked math from my memory... and the next important thing in my day was the concert.

The Advanced Women's Ensemble was performing after the freshie... ahem, Concert Choir. As I sat backstage, waiting to go on and sing, I saw a flash of a man with blue hair and sharp features leaving the theatre by way of backstage. Hey, that looks like Nyklus! I laughed to myself. From Fly or Fall!

Maybe Nyklus was a bad guy, one of the adopted sons/apprentices of The Wizards of the Black Circle, but he was one of my favorite characters to write. I took his "appearance" as a good omen and went onstage with my choirmates.

I stepped up in front of everyone, to the microphone. "Hi, my name is Tabitha, and this is the Women's Ensemble. Our first piece will be Os..."

"EVERYBODY GET DOWN!" someone yelled.

I looked towards the back of the theatre, where the sound came. Standing there... well... it was five of my characters. Or rather, other people's characters that I wrote. Iginio Straffi's canon character Roxy... my Lysis... and was that really Safeyah, Avalon, and Kaylee? If I had been the fainting type, I would have been on the ground. As it was, I whispered "No way!"

The microphone amplified my voice, and Avalon flew up to the stage. She landed with her hands on her hips. "Yes, way. Scram, choir girl."

"That's not nice, Av," Kaylee said. "Seriously, you just interrupted her choir concert."

Ms. A looked odd- angry, and kind of scared. "What are you doing?" she demanded.

The five fairies looked at each other. "Uhhh..." Avalon said.

Suddenly, the curtains were on fire. Blue fire. Nyklus walked out. "I see you've found her again. Before me. No matter, I'll just take her!"

"Who?" I asked.

Everyone looked at me.

"Oh. Well, this is oddly both exciting and scary and I think I'm a little bit insane."

Being the author... or was I?... I knew what to do. I willed myself to transform, really hard. Before long, my stuffy black dress had been replaced with a... shorter stuffy black dress. Like a knee-length, glittery version of the choir uniform, awful character shoes and all. Wings that I knew looked like two alto clefs shot out of my back. "Oh god... am I..."

Nyklus tried not to snicker. "The fairy of choral performance."

I sulked a little. "Thought I'd be the fairy of fanfic or something. Whatever."

Since I was the author and I knew what to do, I shot an energy beam at him. "Nyklus, you're the weakest. I know that. I created you!"

"Did we accidentally find fairy Dr. Frankenstein?" Roxy muttered.

I turned to her. "Okay, villain vanquished, fairy found. Now, can I continue this choir concert!"

Quietly, the five fairies sat down in theatre seats and I finished my introduction.

And the choir... and one choir fairy... began to sing.

Author's Note: THIS IS NOT CANON FOR THIS STORY

Also, sorry it took so long. School's been horrible.