A/N: Thank you all so much for the reviews, I really appreciate them. This fic is AU after 'The first time'. After the last episode I had a few struggles continuing this story, but back on track now, so I hope you all really enjoy it. If you get a chance please review, constructive criticism always welcome. Thanks again, and now on with the show :)
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee :(
Of meercats and moving forward.
Chapter 5
Dave woke up that friday morning still exhausted from the day before. Coach Stevens had kept them over time after Jimmy decided it would be hilarious to smart mouth the coach. It wasn't funny after an extra half hour of running drills. He'd also stayed up longer then he'd wanted, waiting for Sebastian to call before giving in and finally calling the boy himself.
After that phone call, he'd struggled to get to sleep. He couldn't stop thinking about the boy. His green eyes, toned, hot body and cute little laugh. He was falling hard for the guy and he didn't want to. Sebastian was to good for him, and no matter what he said now, the boy would eventually realise this and ultimately break Dave's heart. And Dave just wasn't strong enough to cope with that these days.
He felt on edge at all times. As though one comment or look from someone could send him back to that place that had lead to him attempting to end his own life. And he didn't want to go back there.
But he still couldn't stop his thoughts from going back to Sebastian. He tried to imagine what would happen if he said yes to going out with him. How long would it take for Seb to get bored of him? How long until he got sick of sharing Dave's closet space. And sex? Dave had been humiliated when Sebastian had seen him in a towel that time. How could he possibly get naked in front of him? And nothing against Sebastian, but Dave was pretty sure he'd seen a few naked bodies ten times hotter then Dave's. He wasn't sure he'd ever have the confidence to go through with it. He'd finally fallen asleep with thoughts of Sebastian running through his head.
He sleep walked his way through breakfast, barely tasting it, and slamming down the disgusting, bitter coffee his dad always had stocked in the cupboards. Shuffling out to his car, he zoned in and out while driving, parking in his usual spot before heading to his home room.
The day passed in a tired blur, before lunch and a text from Sebastian perked him up ; be at your place round 10 to pick u up. be ready big guy - Seb. The thought of seeing Sebastian again instantly perked Dave up. He smiled while re reading the text under the lunch table, looking up when he heard a chuckle from Jimmy.
"That lover boy?" He asked with a smirk on his face.
"What the fuck dude, shut up!" Dave's defenses were immediately up, searching the room for anyone who may have heard him.
"Jeeze D, calm down. I'm just playing." Jimmy raised his hands in a placating motion, his smirk gone. "Sorry, I didn't think. But that's him yeah?"
Dave's heart felt like it was trying to escape from his chest. Anyone could have heard that. How could he explain that statement away? And could he even be bothered anymore? "Yeah it is. How'd you figure that?" Was he that obvious? He liked to think he was quite the actor when it came to this. But then again, Jimmy had figured it out pretty quickly.
"Well for one, you rarely get texts from anyone, except us. Plus you've got the biggest shit eating grin on your face ever. Figured it was from him." He shrugged. "So...What's he want?" He asked with a smile that was just a little to innocent looking.
"And why would I tell you?" Dave liked Jimmy. No matter how loud and annoying the little guy could get, he genuinely cared about his friends. He cared about Dave. Probably his first friend that ever really did.
"Cos you love me." Jimmy smiled before taking a chunk out of his pizza. "And cos I can tell you're dying to tell someone and I'm the only one here who knows 'bout you." He mumbled out through his mouth full of food.
"I don't have to tell you shit. And eat with your mouth closed dude." Dave laughed.
"You know you want to." Jimmy trilled. "Did he ask you out on a date? Are you guys together? Ahh this is awesome, you guys would be so cute together." He bounced excitedly in his seat. Dave just stared at him like he'd grown another head. "What? You would be! Stop looking at me like that!"
Dave snorted before explaining to him about joining PFLAG. Then explaining to him what PFLAG was after Jimmy sent him a look of confusion at the term. "So he's just picking me up tomorrow to go there. That's all."
"So you two are going together?" Jimmy smiled.
"It's not like that. He's ju- we're just friends. Thats it, nothing else." Dave's temper was starting to rise. He tried, but couldn't control it. He wasn't angry at Jimmy, he actually enjoyed having someone to talk to about this other then his therapist. But Dave was scared and confused when it came to Sebastian. And with Dave those feelings always managed to come out in aggression.
"But he likes you right? I just thought maybe you-" Jimmy jumped back from the table as Dave slammed his fists against it, before storming off. Jimmy shook off the shock of what had just happened before chasing after his friend.
Dave had made it half way to his car before Jimmy pulled up beside him, white faced and out of breathe. "Dave wait. I didn't mean to piss you off dude. I was just having a laugh, you know how I am." He looked like a kicked puppy. It just made Dave angrier at himself.
"I KNOW THAT! Fuck, I know that. I'm not angry at you, I just- AH!" Dave kicked the nearest thing he saw. Which happened to be a brick wall, lucky for Jimmy. Unlucky for Dave, as it hurt like hell and only fueled his anger. "OW FUCK!"
"Dave man, calm down. Here, come sit down." He dragged Dave over to his car, where they both sat on the ground leaning against the side of the vehicle. "What the hell's going on with you dude?" Dave looked at him, but all he saw was concern. He really did care, really wanted to know.
"I really like him Jim." It was the first time he'd admitted it out loud. He felt his throat close up as the tears began to form. He tried in vain but they fell anyway.
"Hey, D man, it's cool. I told you I'm cool with it, and you can talk to me yeah." He put his arm around the bigger boys shoulders, leaning into him in an almost hug. "What's wrong? Why's it so bad if you like the guy? He seemed like a pretty cool guy." Jimmy rubbed his arm and smiled in a comforting way.
"I don't want to like him. He deserves better then me." Dave choked out, wiping his eyes in an attempt to stop the onslaught of tears.
"Look Dave. He seemd like a cool guy but that doesn't make him too good for you. I mean you're awesome. He should be happy you like him." He smiled encouragingly."Infact he probably will be if you ever tell him."
"He's trying to change. He doesn't need something like me dragging him down." Dave said in a resigned voice.
"Some thing like you? Dude listen to yourself. Fuck man you need som-" Jimmy flinched as Dave shoved himself into a standing position.
"I was horrible! I bullied the only out kid in my school till he transferred! I forced a kiss on him when he clearly didn't want it. I threatened to fucking kill him if he told anyone about it!" Dave was crying and visibly shaking. "I tried... I tried to fix things when he came back. I felt so fucking bad about it all. I just wanted him to finish high school in peace." He hiccuped. "But the others kept going. Voted him bloody Prom queen, and I was the one who fucking ran. I promised to protect him and I just left him there."
"Dave, come on, that's not your fault." He got up off the ground and hesitated before reaching his hand out to Dave's shoulder.
"Did you ever wonder why I transferred?" Jimmy shook his head. "That night after Prom, I tried t- to kill myself." Dave whispered that last part while trying to control his sobbing. "My dad found me. I'm the only thing he's got left after my mum died and I did that to him. Tell me I'm not a fucking monster?" Dave's face was red and blotchy as Jimmy gathered him in his arms, rubbing his back reassuringly and whispering words of encouragement. "And after all that I still haven't had the guts to come out to him." He gathered Dave's keys from his pocket and led the boy into his car, where he proceeded to drive back to Dave's house.
Paul Karofsky wasn't home when they arrived, something Dave expected when ditching school early. Jimmy manouvered him up to his room before rushing back down to the kitchen to grab Dave some water.
Dave sat alone in his room for a moment, trying to regain his senses. He'd lost control again. At least this time he hadn't kissed anyone. But he'd just confessed a great deal of his sins to someone he'd planned on keeping around as a friend, just cried in front of him. But in all honesty, Dave was just to tired to care anymore.
"So..." Jimmy walked in handing Dave a glass of water before sitting himself on his desk chair. "When I was younger I pushed my little brother off his bike and broke his arm cos he could do better tricks then me."
Dave just stared at him. What the hell did that have to do with anything? "Your point?"
"My point, David, is that we all do some fucked up shit and make mistakes. Aslong as you learn from them dude." He shrugged. " Do you still bully this kid?"
"Kurt. And no. He was the one who started this PFLAG thing. Wants me to join cos he thinks it'll be good for me. Educate me or whatever." Dave said. "He even forgave me, mostly, for all the shit I did. Not that I deserved it."
"See that's where you're wrong D." Jimmy gave him a stern look. "Obviously this Kurt guy saw something in you that showed him you deserved to be forgiven." He looked smug as he continued. "You're a good guy Dave. You did some bad stuff but you're not a bad person. And Sebastian would be lucky to have someone like you."
Dave smiled. He'd only known the boy a few months but he felt like he'd been friends with him forever. He'd never had a better friend then Jimmy. Someone he could talk to honestly. Someone who would listen with no judgement. Who would encourage him and help him out. Who wasn't getting payed top dollar by his dad to do so. That was a true friend. That was James.
"And Dave," He looked up at the boy who was leaning forward, elbows on his knees, " I don't wanna ever hear you pulling something like that after Prom business again okay. You can't keep bottling stuff up." He'd never seen the guy look so serious. "If you need to talk I was serious when I said you can talk to me. I won't give you shit about anything. You're my best mate and I don't wanna lose you over this okay?" Dave nodded and smiled. Jimmy nodded back before hopping off the chair and heading towards the bedroom door.
"You up for Mario Kart? I wanna get some practice in before Seb's back again. I wanna beat his sorry ass next time!" Jimmy raised his eyebrow before gesturing towards the door and leaving the room, Dave dawdling behind him.
The day went quickly after that. Dave beating Jimmy in almost every race. Sebastian called after school hours making sure Dave still wanted to go with him to the meeting, as Dave had never responded to his text. It was nice talking to him, Dave thought with a smile, as Jimmy yelled abuse at Sebastian from beside Dave about how badly he was going down at the next tournament. Dave laughed as Sebastian merely snorted at him.
"So ten. You'll be up and ready Davey? I'd hate to have to come wake you up." He chuckled. "Although, if you still happen to be in bed, I wouldn't mind joining you."
On spying Dave's reddening cheeks, Jimmy pounced on him in an attempt to eavesdrop on him. Dave swatting him away while attempting to form a response. What do you say to that? "Ahh... It's cool. I'll be up." He laughed nervously.
"Naww, that's a shame. Still I'm an optimist." He giggled. "Anyways, I'll let you boys get back to your fun. I'll see you tomorrow Dave."
"Yeah, see you then." Dave smiled at the thought.
"Can't wait." Sebastian finished before ending the call.
"Me either." Dave spoke over the dial tone. Jimmy smiled at him, looking giddy. Dave swatted at him again.
At dinner that night, Dave announced his intentions of joining the PFLAG group that Kurt had created.
"A PFLAG group? With Kurt Hummel? What makes you want to join a PFLAG group David?" Paul Karofsky sat at the head of the table, a confused look on his face.
"Well I - uh - I promised Kurt I'd start one with him as a condition of him returning to Mckinley. He messaged me the other day, saying he was starting one, and he thinks it's a good idea for me to still join." Dave shrugged non chalantly. At his dad's suspicious look he continued. "I guess he thinks I need educating after all the stuff I pulled last year." He lowered his eyes at that. He wasn't about to specify what incidents he was referring to. "It'll just be Kurt, his boyfriend and a few of his glee friends." He shrugged again.
"And you're ready for that? To face your old classmates?" His dad gave him a worried look. He looked so scared and concerned for his son that it broke Dave's heart. He'd done that to his father. He'd put that look there.
"Yeah dad. I'll be ok." He gave him a tight smile, before collecting up there empty dishes and setting them down in the sink.
"I just worry about you David." His father came up behind him, settling his hands on his sons shoulders. "After what happened I-" His father cleared his throat, "I love you David, ok. I just don't want to lose you."
Dave spun around quickly and buried his face in his dad's shoulder to hide his tears. Paul Karofsky wrapping his son up in a tight comforting hug. This is it, Dave thought, I should tell him now. "Dad I - I, I love you too." And just like that, Dave missed his chance again.