Sorry, guys (if, in fact, anyone is actually still invested in this). Finished this on Archive, and completely forgot to update on ff.
month 9, status post breakup
She agrees to meet Akash because Indian mothers don't play when it comes to guilt and grandchildren.
He's thirty-five, and he does some sort of finance thing that's she never going to care enough about to try and understand, but she lets him explain because he's passionate about it, and that's something she'll always appreciate. He likes jazz and the Wall Street Journal, plays ball with his buddies on the weekends, and can make a pretty mean chicken tikka masala (something that she herself has never mastered). He watches just enough MSNBC to keep up with most of her pop culture references, and she's dated enough Brooklyn hipsters to not only debate the relative merits of IPAs versus stouts, but to be able to suggest a hip little microbrewery as a second date.
It's an easy date. He's an easy person to be around.
month 10, status post breakup
"So how's Raj?"
"…not his name, Peter."
"Kumar?"
"You went to medical school. How are those the only two brown names you know?"
"They aren't the only ones I know. Just my faves."
"Bullshit. Gimme another."
"…"
"Are you kidding me? I have a brother! You guys hang out!"
"Whatever, he's still Raj in my head."
"Ugh, whatever. So his name is Akash, and we've been on four dates, including last night when he took me to a jazz show – at which, I might add, I didn't even want to kill myself. Maim, maybe."
"Props."
"He calls once a day, texts just enough to be attentive without being super velcro, and we're like a foot past first base."
"I'm waiting for a 'but'."
"That's the thing! There is no 'but'. It's like this guy read "Dating for Dummies" and just really committed to it. He's…predictable."
"You mean boring."
"I mean safe. It's not like we don't have things to talk about. There's just not a lot of spark. No spice, you know? Which is kind of ironic 'cause we're both Indian."
"Hey, Mindy?"
"I don't know, it just feels too easy. Like, he's got to have a few skeletons in his closet, right? Maybe actual skeletons? And why haven't we had a fight yet? It's been almost a month, doesn't he like me enough to start trying to change me?"
"Mindy."
"Kidding! Sort of. It's all so calm and that's so weird."
"Mindy!"
"What? Jesus, stop yelling."
"Dude. Seriously. Rein it in for a second, 'kay? I'm going to throw something out there, and I need you to just hear me out and not react. You've been in a lot of terrible relationships. Like, a lot a lot."
"Hey, now!"
"Seriously?"
"Ok, yeah, fine, they were shit. Carry on."
"They're all super dramatic and you're crying or yelling or stomping around the entire time you're with these dudes and maybe you're starting to think that this is how it's supposed to be."
"…keep talking."
"You get stressed out and you think that feels right, but maybe it's just because it's familiar. Maybe this thing you've got going just feels wrong because you're not used to the healthy adult stuff that everyone keeps talking about."
"Oh my gawd."
"I know."
"I think I need to lie down now."
month 12, status post breakup
Akash proposes, and she says no.
Ok, so that's not quite what happens.
What he does is ask if she could see them having a future together, and so she picks a fight and storms out, and her feet somehow take her straight to Danny's door.
It takes her a full five minutes to knock. Her arm feels too heavy, but she can't seem to will her feet in the opposite direction.
She doesn't remember knocking, but she must have, because suddenly his door is open, and there he stands, the last in a line of men she's wanted without reason or limit, and still somehow apart. So real and jagged and full of wasted potential that she wants to scream, wants to fix him. She's always wanted to fix him.
He blinks once, and then shrugs. As though it hasn't been months since she's shown up at his door. "Wanna come in?" he asks, a little hoarse, a little quiet.
"There's a man in my apartment," she starts.
"Mindy, please," he cuts her off, expression pained.
"No, listen. You owe me this." She takes a deep breath, steadies herself. "There is a man in my apartment right now. I don't love him, and he doesn't love me, but I think we could get there."
He sighs. "So why are you here, Min?"
"Because I don't know what I did wrong. I still don't understand what I did to lose you. And I don't think I'm going to love him the way I love you, and I don't know if that's good or bad."
Danny reaches for her hand and he's trembling ever so slightly. "It's a good thing. It's a really, really good thing."
"Danny-"
"Go home, Mindy," he says gently. It takes the soft click of the door to remember where she is.
month 14, status post breakup
Peter and Lindsay have a barbecue, and it's surprisingly fun. She brings Akash and they hold hands and there's a normalcy about that she hasn't quite gotten used to. It's nice, though.
She sees Danny in the crowd, but doesn't go up to him until she sees him leaning against the deck, pulling out a fresh pack. She'll never admit it to anyone, but she's always sort of liked the smell of cigarette smoke. Not the stale, dusty odor of seventies furniture, but newly exhaled, fresh from contact with blood and lungs.
"When did you start smoking again?" she asks, reproachfully, even as she takes a small sniff.
Danny turns from his spot against the railing. He has the decency to look a little ashamed, though she's not sure if it's due to the smoking itself or at being caught. He shrugs, and moves to put it out.
She thinks she might stop him, for a second. Might let him have his cigarette at the end of a long day, a long year, really, because that's what's it been. But the words don't reach her mouth and a Danny dead of lung cancer is never going to be a good thing, no matter what ills she's wished upon him.
"Having a good time?"
"Yeah, you?"
"Yup. Peter just figured out Akash is a former beer pong champ, though, so I may never see him again. Oh, did little Danny like the One Direction poster?"
"Yeah, thanks for the tip. The look on her face was totally worth it."
"Is she coming up to visit anytime soon?"
"June, actually. We should all hang out, maybe catch a ballgame. She'd love to see you again."
"Oh my god, I can't wait. I'm totally stealing her for sleepovers and RomCom 101."
He laughs, and she can breathe again.