CHAPTER 57 Price of Envy, wolves, letters

See who I am (within temptation) and Golden time lover the FMA brotherhood theme. I think u will love them! read on for Golden time lover's meaning.


Nuada

Sister's ailment did not go to her feet. Lucky! She had shared her experiences. Our rashes were different.

I also phoned the humans. Cole was very happy. "Wow you're all better! I watered them. Are your plants all right?"

I thanked him, feeling emotional. I had killed his people but he was being selfless to me. strangely, I anticipated my next meeting with the boy. The other girl I forgot her name said, "See we're not hollow beings." She had sent me a music disc.

Laira said, "Hey what about my cds? Did you listen to them?"

"Yes, I will. I couldn't do that without a player in the ward. Don't be jealous." I laid them out. She could be possessive. This is seldom shown unless she is provoked. I am not the most attractive elf here, which is interesting to find out why girls feel this way. If a fellow warrior is better than I am, I will respect him, not feel jealous. I should observe if my own race's she elves are similar….

"You're my elf. She shouldn't be near you, Noowa. Get her own."

"Do not worry, we are merely friends. They are concerned for me and I should thank them. How can I be rude?" I advised. I surrender to being yours only. Few more days in bed.

The illness was gone, but the aftermath was like I had been through vigorous training sessions. The fatigue attacked in waves, sometimes I had to rest though it was just a few minutes' walk. Frustrating. Faithfully I ate all vitamins, soups, supplements given to improve my health. Sister urged me to take a seat. "You all right? I'll go on my own." We were on the way to our parent's shrine. Once the dizziness was past, I got to my feet and followed her. Nuala had added portraits of them this time. I felt sorrowful. Alateir, I am sorry. I wish you were here with us. I rubbed at my eyes.

We are alone. It's all right to cry. The flowers, we placed them on the table. The sunlight can come in, as it is a room abandoned by the Bureau. Our parents' portraits had a special coating to prevent weathering. It is tradition to dust the place and use fresheners and blossoms to make it nice. I spoke to them about a lot of things and feeling lighter, my weariness seemed to lift.

Joe was here. I embraced him. He looked closely. "Hey you're sick again?"

"No. Sorry did you say something else?" I shook myself from reverie. The boy had been upset that I was not my normal strong self. He was less talkative. "Did you wish to continue?"

He took out the beeping thermometer and put into my ear. I smiled. "Oh shit! 40 degrees Celsius? You're gravely ill again," he panicked.

"No it is normal. Elves' temperature is higher than humans." Joe's hand remained on my forehead. "What have you done this week? Do update me." We spoke about trivials for a while, their mother had tried to call me hearing about the news, and other things. I was concerned he did not eat well. Taking his hand, I showed him I felt a lot better.

He smiled. "Ok. Your eyes seem, swollen, red." The boy! I debated not telling him. Joe waited.

"I was very- sad. I miss Mother. But I'm better, you're here."

"Nuada don't brood over it. We will support you. Come with me, I wanna show you my new trick."

I agreed, sounded exciting. He walked slower for my benefit. His feelings had become more intensive of late. I wished to console him. Will it embarrass Joe? I think he understands. In front of a herd, the boy became invisible. How had he done it? He reappeared closer but the animals did not get spooked.

How do you manage? I'm amazed! Congrats. Ilooked around. not in sight.

Haha I didn't know. I just think don't want to be seen. Sometimes it won't work. Can you see or hear me?

No. Don't give me a heart attack. Soon, Aden an elf companion passed by reminding me not to stay up too long. She was a medical officer. I told her I would go back soon. Joe walked between the herd smiling. My weakness didn't matter anymore!

The counselor listened to my grief. I wanted to hear what advice she could offer, since I passed by the office, I might as well talk to her. She greeted me with, "I miss your presence, Silverlance. You always make me feel…"

I filled in, "Scared? It is normal."

"No, exhilarated, a high for me! My gosh, I like your people. I drew this patterns based on your expression." A black and silver pattern of mosaic.

"How can this be? Jo." Because of me she had conceived a new artwork?

"I am sorry. Grief takes time, Nuada. Let the pain flow. Imagine they are with you. Can that help?"

"Sometimes I think of them on a long journey which I cannot follow. And your suggestion too." The woman also asked me what illness it was. I explained it to her as best as I could. When silence fell, it was a comfortable one. I enquired about her studies. It was a rare friendship born from my skepticism. Something occurred to me. "Is sister all right?"

"Promised I would not tell."

"I understand. Does she feel happier? I really want my sister to be happy."

"Nuada you're the elder twin? I see. (I conceded)…. Yes yes Nuala is all right and happy. She is carefree now. I'm an only child. Feels lonely," she replied.

My twin had a lot of secrets sometimes. The human was thinking about how much she missed her family.

She gave me a cup. I thanked her and enjoyed the cocoa. My cellphone buzzed.

Hi Nuada where r u? im waiting.

The woman gaped as I texted back: yes coming. Patience. I added, "It is my friend. May I hear your opinions? She can wait a moment. Yes I can use the phone."

Again the woman said she could not give a solution. I would have exploded- what bloody answer is it? You are useless! Now I could listen without judgment. It was enough that my burden felt lighter, if only for this moment. Halfling looked impatient.

"Hey! Why're you late?"

"I am sorry, was at the office with someone." I ruffled her hair. Laira wanted to know the reason. I didn't reply, it is a polite response for people to stop asking I won't say anymore. Better than shouting.

"Are you sad? Joe said not to ask too much. I want to go out, come. You free?"

"Anywhere. I am fine." We took a cab to the nearest park and had a meal in the café. This was a new place we had not come to before. Not many humans milling the place. My rashness will never be gone, contrary to what Laira told me in her reflection. Since I could have more time off to relax, I went to their home and took a long nap.

Being alone awake, Laira was sleeping soundly. I began a letter:

Dearest Ionuin dainin,

Sorry, has been so long. I was too weak to do any form of writing, does it look untidy? Hope you can read. The fever has sapped much strength and I'm still tired occasionally. Thank you for the supplements. I'm sure my energy levels will come back when I have enough rest. Don't worry. It is wonderful to have so many gifts and wellwishes.

Maybe you wonder why I'm so emotional now. It is a side effect. I was in a darkness like a desert. At first the pain was intense, all my muscles and my head. Nuala said her fever is not so high. Once the illness leaves we will be immune. Don't blame yourselves. It is a mystery why this happens only to us. Hmm I think Blue was always close. His cold hands are effective for fever. (smile) I had been kicking swearing and struggling during the worst times. Feel guilty of that. Haha. Not a princelike trait you'd think.

Sister said I'm inflexible? How could she? I don't think badly of her. We had very intense arguments and sometimes I did not want to see her, vice versa. But I will try to reconcile. I find it difficult to forgive criticisms, can you? Nobody is perfect but people dare to point out my mistakes? Conflict is like that, all of us think differently so we argue and try to make the other person at fault. Which becomes worse.

Write back! I miss you on paper.

Your friend always

Nuada

******

Halfling laughed when I said her mother was a unique person. She said, "How? As in tomboyish, or annoying? It's ok."

"Not at all, she is nice, sincere. Unlike most people who realize I am a prince, she does not pretend to like me or care for what advantage she will be having. What about your answer, do you like the idea of royalty?"

"Hmm if I am a princess, I get personal attendants and servants. That'll be cool. But all the other negative things come, like having public appearances, tailed by guards, spies. Last time princess Diana got killed when she was pursued by the media. Yes and no," my friend replied.

"Can't you choose one side only?"

It is hard. I see both sides. Sorry did I confuse you?

I wrote down what she said, and counted the pros as more. "I have solved the dilemma, you like being a princess, just not the media part. Not to worry, in Bethmora people do not tail us. Who is this Diana?"

Poor Diana, she was not of royalty and felt extremely stifled and unhappy. I believe I had seen her news that people had released. I understood being stifled, not able to show how angry or sad I felt during the worst crisis. In some way we have all been wounded, not just physically but emotionally, psychologically. I watched the girl while I spoke. She looked calm, but inside she felt very thrilled at the melody of my voice.

You look like a cat staring at mice. --- she remarked.

I'm a wolf. But cat is not a bad analogy. Haha.

Is that your totem animal? You feel affinity with the carnivores. The child flipped to a page on wolves she had drawn. I smiled and inclined my head.

She said, "I shall make one big wolfie that's you."

"No need." I took her pencil and looked at the other pictures.

I found this letter under my pillow next day. It was in orange and blue.

Hi Nuada!

Bueno dias in Spanish. I'm practicing espanol. I could read your new letter fine, it is not messy. Mine is more ugly. Like big and childish. I want to refine it. Maybe I shall type out my next letter, what do you think? And I can decorate it. Yay!

Aww yes sickness aches. I understand. Are you getting better nowadays? Your training has resumed isn't it? (smiley) Very worried! Fever can do a lot of damage. The doctors said many foreboding things. I was reminded of Sarah: she had a dangerous illness and after the fever her mind got damaged. She forgets things easily, which is sad. But her attitude is so positive you cannot tell. Sarah is a non hollow human, she seems to be a lifetime friend, though I just knew her. I learn much from her.

Is there cure for amnesia? You feel weak, we want to help. Please tell us humble servants what to do. Hahahah. I cannot believe you feel emo, my love. Secrets are safe, I always kept them since I was 11 or 12. People look at me and think I can do that. Yuck, what a pain! I don't mind some, but a whole lot is too much. It's like I'm the machine that has to process complaints always. I don't want to be the receiver of bad news. Instead the Harbinger of destruction for a change! Evil laughter.

But thank you for confiding in me. I don't mind you sharing Nuada, it's so special. You're a prince, yea! Same here, I hate others criticizing me, for free. They should pay like sixty to hundred bucks per hour of that. I want to bring doom upon them. You will be closer to the Blue fish now. Elf +Abbee! It's my personal nickie for him, and he will get all anguished and insist that I call him properly. They say Abe is like ape, haha. I prefer Abbee. What background, blue or green?

I was quite sad to hear your gasping on the phone. We wanted to go right away but it was a slow journey. Doesn't it suck to be far off when something happens? Well, I remember how angry you were that Nuala was sick and you were not here. Aren't we all the same?

What you swore, and kicked? Cool! Yes she told me, what you know we discussed about your inflexibility? Then I must be more guarded. Yes it is ok to stick by your ideals and goals, that is confidence. But you are not open to ideas… hope you won't knock me out when you see this. We exchange Nuada-ness not backstabbing ok? There're things sister won't want to tell you or you get mad. And girls need some space too, within ourselves. Don't be mad.

As soulmates we share everything else. Enclosed is a mini elf with mini friends. Some are imaginary. It's a comical picture I used water color, so it's quite light. I dream of publishing an art book. I got an idea, shall we toss the sharp tongued to the zombies? Think of evil deeds, HAHAHAHA!

Partner in crime: Laira


I laughed so much at the zombies idea. Stormy outside. Good to be indoors.

Evening dearest dainin,

Today is a rainy evening and night. I shall be loath to go anywhere. I am glad you could see my shaky words. It's the hardest to shoot in this weather. I cannot see clearly in the mist. Your writing is unique, if you type it becomes so artificial, don't.

Really you agree with me. Zombies, are you sure they can be trusted? They may turn on us. I shudder at the concept of undead. You may employ vampires? I prefer golems, trolls, or henchmen. Yes, I want to be harbinger of terror then. No, you are not servants.

It is true fever hurts the brain. Sarah sounds nice, what does she like? I am much better, don't worry. (smile) Cherish the bond, it is rare to have such a close companion. I see. Girls bond differently. Nuala told me I cannot possibly replace a girl-friend. I fumed for a while. We are of the same blood, how can she talk like this? And I listen to her patiently if she is unhappy.

Flexible or not depends on mood. I can be open if I want, so that's unfair of your remark. I mean this in good sport, haha. I won't compromise on wrongdoings, the bad should die. Or be punished. I could spare the life of honorable people. By the way I can't wait for the next episode of the drama on tv, which Hellboy likes to do running commentary. It is called 'Cloak knives and undercover'.

Emo is short for emotional? No I don't remember being like that. Pray tell me? Yes Ionuin can be for both genders. I will be happy if you do that. It's sweet of you to learn elven. Your pronouncing is off but the writing is okay. Did you get the second letter? I enclosed some special things. I could teach you to read those.

Keeping secrets is normal for you? Sorry you felt burdened. Tell them you don't want to receive bad news. They are so inconsiderate. I know I will have lost patience. Hmm I cannot burden you too much, it's fine. I don't want to be one of those people.

Mini elf? That is nice, is it me? Of course you can try to make an artbook. What! Abbe, hahaha. No no please don't do that drawing and post it up. I will never hear the end of the Blue's comments. Someone told me you can do the posting thing on the internet. I think it's deviantart. Common thing for you to go on sites to post diaries? Why let other strangers see what you think? There is no privacy, I will not do that.

It is disappointing you don't think I have tried to be open. Haven't I made special exceptions for you? (I am smiling as I write this, not that sad) I give in a lot to your wimps and fancies. Don't you enjoy arguing? It is a good spar. You can gain insight, invaluable.

Some stories capitalize our race Elf. I feel important and respected. I could not be close when people were ill or died. I did gasp on the phone? I must have been very weak then. My cousin died from the illness. I had a new dream about him. His name was N'lan. We were like brothers. I couldn't reach him in time. He was very happy though, in a field of flowers. Lyra, it gave me peace. Why didn't he come earlier? It was a meeting without words, only emotions. A silent movie. He looks like us.

Hellboy told me the Professor's name was Trevor Bruttenholm. It is easier for him to cope if he thinks of him on a long vacation. Good idea, I try it for my parents too. In a way each of us is on a journey to the End. Our religions don't have a heaven. Looks like my cousin made it there, and Wink. I miss them. Homesickness includes my memories of the adventures with them. Wink cooked very well. N'lan liked to play sports.

I like Shakugan no shana. She is like me, in a way. Your sketch of her is good. I think it's nice. What is the other cartoon, with the tincan guy and shortie? It's something Alchemist? I will be able to come only for the afternoon. Sweet sleep!

Hugs

Your only Elf


Dear Nuada uber Elf (ultimate elf),

Yup you guessed it! I have accounts on deviantart and also some other sites. It is the In thing to do stuff online for us. Haha. That is the site for posting our drawings and such. Oh I haven't shown them to you yet, can't wait. I see. We post things to share with others, they want people to see their comments. They don't require privacy. Can be good, allows for sharing, the bad part is when the comments get nasty called flaming. I've done a fair bit of flaming myself, haha, coz the idiots dared to insult me. I haven't been hurt yet by those noobs. That means greenhorns.

I have made Elf capital too. Yes we adore your race. Woohoo.

You don't approve huh? Never mind. Diary writing is on blogs nowadays, hardly people will write and keep their notebooks. I used to vent on a notebook and then lost interest. I also got some network accounts. Well you could use fake names and everything. I do that and no one knows how I really look like. Haha, Relax I won't post Abe and you pictures, it will be my private collection. I still am halfway through it. He loves you. Don't be mean. Okay, sorry sorry. I was being truthful though, about your shortcoming. But I try not to mind, unless it's very bad.

Nah I don't like arguing. Don't argue please. Haha. I can gain insight with other methods, such as probing. I am better in that. I think I can do more accurate readings with my mind now. It's fun.

Aww I am sorry you feel sad about N'lan and Wink. They seem to be happy there. In my religion there is heaven and all people go there, only the evil who won't repent don't. Wow he must be so cute! Nuada, he may have wanted you to be happy and not to worry about them so much. Silent movie is a nice metaphor.

Can I ask you something: Do you carry a lot of burdens? Uriel said that one day, I kind of walked past and heard. All the more I should cheer you up. I shall make you laugh. I want to show you my jokes and nonsense. Nonsense can cheer people up. Yay! I like comedies. That show, I forget to see it. That's good, sounds like a good drama. Hahaha.

Correct, emo is shortform. Imao is happy, lols is laugh out loud. My friend loves to write lol. If you chat with us online, we'll show you. It's easy and helps show your feelings in a quick way. Well, I don't think you want to do that, as computer isn't your favorite. Nuala is right, you cannot be a girl-friend. Girls can go in deep about our problems, guys can't. She did not mean to make you mad. However I am sure Nuala adores her big brother and his wonderful virtues. As a twin, can you always read each other's minds?

Oh yea, can have both zombies and your fey army to attack the assholes. Forward! I think undead is formidable, they have no emotion. In my game I am the necromancer so I can control them with confidence. Thank you, I love your compliments. Must be careful not to become too proud ohoh.

Secrets cannot remain for too long. It feels like burying the hachet… makes me think of seashells buried underground. Is it true you can hear music in the cones? I don't dare to, someone had bugs crawling into the ear! Yuck. I don't mind holding them. Insects to be seen is nice.

Oh I am confused, Nuada. You mean you accept there is heaven but not them intervening to help you. Sorry if it is too invasive, don't need to answer this.

Definitely you're skeptical of magic. Have mentioned that before when I thought you're a mage, Nuada. The anime is called fullmetal alchemist. It has gone on for so long, sickening. So many people dying. Maybe Al will get his body back it was shown in the song. I like the beat, Golden time lover. It is about victory, defeat and wanting to win at all costs. Alchemy is both magic and science. But so many people are claiming to be witches and druids. I cannot believe they want to do that, may attract evil spirits.

Yay! Shana is like you, rash and fiery. The cool thing is her sword can immolate. I also like Margery Daw's blasé attitude, and her book can laugh! Have you used a fire sword before? (enclosed is Joe's shorter letter)

Lots of kisses and hugs

Laira


Dearest children,

Thank you for your faithful replies. The news is fresh. I was so tired from missions. Humans got killed, we had to replace them. Glad I can take a break tonight. But got to read about demons.

The music is because of the oceans' echoes in the shells. I have never got ear bugs before, haha. Use a salt solution to wash them out. It is nature, not magic. Once you remove them from the beach, there's no more sound. There is a colorful type of cone, very colorful which is toxic. Don't pick it up. Bright markings mean danger.

You are confused. I see. I want to think of my parents in heaven, which is nice. I cannot feel anyone helping me though, spiritually. They don't answer my questions. Sometimes I did see some of the deities, when I sleep. Lyra I don't feel offended. It's good how open you are. I want to emulate that. Many people have asked about our religion too. Hmm, I also agree the declared witches and druids are mad. Luckily you're not joining them. One thing to play as a game person, another to think it is real. Wizards are rare, imagine if they confess to their craft. I think their lives will be enslaved or jeopardized! Hahah. Don't bother them. I seem to have moments of amnesia. Like I left some people promising to meet later and forgot.

(*I took a nap and it was darker outside when I awoke, feeling fresh. I took some food. Since no one was in when I phoned, I picked up the pen…)

After the sleep I feel much better. Sometimes I use meditation when I cannot rest fully. So the fullmetal alchemist is not nice. Some anime is not serious, I prefer those. I always eat when I watch Shana. She is so honorable, I imagine a good companion to duel with. It's been so long since I've met an equal match. Not to boast, but it is true. I was demoralized when trolls insulted our race. They used a coarse dialect which I could understand. We were in town to help rebuild and the trolls said scathing things, like we are nobles and probably just want to look generous, elves take bribes and so on. Not all of us are that rich and proud. The prejudice is truly painful. My companions wanted to teach them a lesson, but I stopped them. Have our efforts meant nothing? We will stay away from that town for awhile.

Joe thank you for your jokes I can understand. I feel happier today. (smiley) I know, I cannot be a female, aww. I'm laughing when I think of Nuala tying my hair with ribbons and telling me about her problems. Your query is the second most popular here, after religions- are twins psychic? The salonist just realized we look alike, haha. Sometimes, but our Link is not as powerful as the time we were children. What did sister say? I don't get her telepathy always.

You eavesdropper. Do not hear people's chatting. But you're concerned for me, thank you. Let's see, as prince I have duties to Bethmora, talking to different contacts. The earlier incident I told you is one example. I do not like to socialize, there is some stress there. Some were hostile because they remembered my crimes. I felt nothing but if they take out the anger on my friends, I have to refrain from fighting them. On the good side is setting some of the animals free from traders. How cruel they are to put the little birds in such small cramped conditions. There was a successful raid we conducted to liberate wild pegasi, horses, rare birds etc. The council meetings are fine, I am becoming quite the diplomat.

The Abe comment has my goosepimples rising. He loves me? Oh shit. I don't want that, yuck. He has been kind, I am grateful for what he did especially my fever. We eat together at times. Don't worry, I won't get violent or jealous. Abraham has some flaws, but I suppose I can overlook those....

The army idea is fun. Yes we seem to be roleplaying what to do to idiots and criticizers.

Some of the games seem addictive. Could I try one when I come to your home?

I don't think I can hold a fire sword, it would burn. Haha. Your friendship means much to me thought I ought to tell you more directly. Call me soon.

Hugs and kisses

The uber elf

I was more mentally exhausted than physical these days. There did not seem to be any end to paranormal idiots and villains. I think the prisons would be full. Training kept me fully occupied. I enjoyed Cole's company, the dramas and cartoons. When could I have a longer break? Krauss said not to overstrain, so on certain days, I did not have to rush when the red light blinked. Helping the elves on certain rebuilding missions and research was what I did on the free days. Soon I might need to wear glasses from the scholarly things. Still it was better than hearing insults from ungrateful bastards.

Tonight the phone rang. I ran to pick it up. "Hello?"

"Nuada! Hey, we got your latest. How're you feeling?" my soulmate's voice was cheerful. I smiled.

"Better. Oh please wait, I need to get something to eat first then I will come back." I wore my clothes, for I had just showered, and got sandwiches and a drink. We had much to talk about, as usual. Somehow even though we meet on weekends, there's still much the young Halflings want to hear from me. "Your sketches are nice. Thank you for everything. I…(suddenly my throat closed) I want you to hear that."

"Haha, okay. Wow you actually you said it twice, and I'm holding that sheet now. So cute, we love you too. I'm sorry that the trolls insulted your people, they are fools. And it's dangerous to get into fights with them. Is it still stressing you?"

I nodded. "Not really. Nowadays I do more research than outdoors. It can be demoralizing, Lyra. The words calm me. I made some drawings of my own, patterns more than characters. Johanna showed me hers. It was inspired by me."