Disclaimer: J.K.R. lets me play with her characters as long as I put them back when I'm done…Happy me!
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Where Do I Go From Here?
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Chap. 8 Secrets Unfold
Harry hurried to get to class on time, forgoing breakfast altogether in his haste. As he walked up behind the throng of students entering through the classroom door, he looked around for Ron and Hermione. Not spotting them anywhere, he was instantly relieved.
The entire journey from the Gryffindor tower to the dungeons, Harry had been dreading running into his friends. He knew they were worried about him and he had been trying to avoid the confrontation that he knew would be coming; surely, they would be wanting an explanation for his disappearance last night, but what could he tell them when he wasn't really sure himself exactly what happened.
He slipped through the door and took a seat at an empty table in the back, hoping that Snape would not notice the fact that he did not have his Potions book. As the last few minutes before class ticked by, Harry began to grow concerned. For despite the fact that he was avoiding his friends, it worried him that they seemed to be the only two missing from the room.
Before Harry could think any more on this development, Snape entered by way of the door in the front of the room that led to the man's office. With a flick of his wrist, Snape spelled the doors closed with a resounding bang, and Harry nearly jumped from his seat due to the sudden noise. A few of the other students sitting close-by turned in their seats to stare at him for his odd behavior and he couldn't help the red tint his cheeks took in his embarrassment.
He was saved any further annoyance from the other students when Snape started the lesson, everyone snatching out their parchment and quills to take notes, and Harry pulled his out as well. But he didn't get more than a few sentences scratched onto the paper before the classroom door opened and Hermione and Ron walked through. Ron sought out Harry, immediately spotting him, and he walked over to the empty seat beside the raven haired teen.
Harry glanced at Ron, but bit his lip when he noticed that Ron seemed to be avoiding making eye contact with him. He then looked to see what Hermione was doing and he saw her hand Snape a folded piece of parchment before she, too, made her way to a seat close to them. Harry watched as Snape opened the paper, scanned over its contents, and then tucked it into his pocket without a word. Before Hermione was even able to pull her quill from her bag, Snape had picked up the lesson where he had left off, and Harry watched as his friend scrambled in frustration to get her supplies out, finally freeing her quill and ink, and then scribbling down notes as quickly as she could in an effort to catch up.
Their first Potions lesson of the school year turned out to be a demanding one, and Harry was thankful that they were all kept too busy for his friends to have time enough to do more than cast an anxious glance his way every now and then. He was counting down the minutes before he would be able to escape at the sound of the bell that indicated the end of the class period, but five minutes short of the bell, there was a timid knock on the classroom door.
Obviously irritated, Snape stalked over to the door and threw it open, sneering down at the young student standing there. Harry watched the interaction from over his shoulder, not able to make out any of their conversation from where he was sitting, but as the student turned to leave, Harry recognized the girl as one of the third year Gryffindors he has passed that morning on his way into the common room.
The girl had hurried away as soon as her message was passed along and Snape turned from where he stood, glaring in Harry's direction. Harry quickly focused his eyes on the page full of sloppily taken notes in front of him, praying that Snape had not realized he had been attempting to eavesdrop, but all hope of it escaping the man's attention fled Harry's mind when he heard that hard-as-stone voice command, "Potter!"
Harry's heart hammered in his chest as he nervously addressed his professor.
"Yes, Sir?"
But all worries of being reprimanded were dispelled when Snape went on to say, "The Headmaster has requested your presence in his office. Go at once."
The simple dismissal shocked Harry at first and he was motionless for a few moments until Snape raised an sardonic eyebrow at him, and then Harry flew to get his things packed away in his bag, dreading that if he took too much time, his professor would make some sort of cutting remark to him; and he wasn't sure how he'd handle a dose of public humiliation after the rough morning he'd already had. He looked back only once as he was walking out, but in that instant, he caught both Ron and Hermione looking at him in a pained way and that sight alone troubled his mind all the way to Dumbledore's office.
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"Ah, yes! Do come in, Harry."
Dumbledore smiled genially at him, and Harry settled himself in the same comfortable chair he had sat in just the day before. Harry set his bag on the floor at his feet as he watched the Headmaster rise from his chair. The old man paced over to the bookshelf along the far wall, and when he returned, Harry could see that he was carrying a stack of books.
"Your books arrived this morning, Harry. I trust you have everything you need for your classes now?"
"Um, yes, Sir. Thank you." Harry wasn't sure what more to say than that, and he took the offered books from Dumbledore when the man held them out to him. Placing the books into his satchel one-by-one, Harry looked up and noticed that Dumbledore's smile seemed to have faded a bit. Worried about what that might imply, Harry was suddenly eager to leave and he pulled his now-full, and very heavy, bag up onto his shoulder. Harry stood up and announced, "Well, Sir, I should probably be getting back to class now."
But instead of the dismissal he had been hoping for, Dumbledore motioned Harry back into his seat and a long pause followed before the old man spoke.
"Harry…There was another reason I asked you to come here today."
Harry gulped, wondering what in the world he had done wrong now.
"It has come to my attention," Dumbledore explained, "that you seemed to have started this school term on the wrong foot, so to speak."
Dumbledore paused as if expecting Harry to reply in some fashion, but when that didn't happen, he went on to say, "I have been informed that, already, you have skipped classes, gotten a detention, and failed to return to your dorm room last night. Need I remind you, Harry, that it is only the second day of the term."
The sternness in the Headmaster's voice ebbed away, only to be replaced with concern as he stated, "Harry, I can't help but worry when I find that one of my best pupils is acting in such a manner. Is there anything you wish to tell me that would explain any of this?"
Harry nervously twisted his fingers where they sat in his lap, unable to make himself look Dumbledore in the eye. There was so much he wanted to say, yet felt unable to. No, he would not be sharing his secrets with anyone. He refused to have anyone look at him in pity, especially the Headmaster. He knew the wizarding world was expecting him to defeat Voldemort someday, so what would they think of him if they knew how weak he was; he wasn't even able to defend himself from some pitiful muggles!
Dumbledore watched the emotions flicker across the young face in front of him. First came the look of fragile hope, followed by the look of disgust and self-loathing, and last of all came the look of angry resignation. It pained the elderly wizard to see Harry troubled so, but he patiently waited, nevertheless, to see if the boy would open up to him. When the silence stretched on for several more minutes, Dumbledore acknowledged his defeat with a sigh.
Harry's attention was drawn away from his morbid thoughts by the weary sounding sigh. He looked up and saw the Headmaster rising from his chair again. Harry stood as well, hefting his bag onto his shoulder as he did so. Dumbledore walked around the desk, clapped a warm hand onto Harry's shoulder, ignoring the small flinch from the boy, and then requested, "Follow me, please, Harry."
Dumbledore led the way, and soon they were both making their way through the castle. Harry was too lost in thought to give much concern to where they were headed, so it was with surprise that he finally looked up to see that they were now standing in front of the infirmary doors. Harry's heart leapt into his throat.
"W-why did you bring me here, Sir?" Harry almost cringed in repulsion at how pathetically weak his voice sounded at the moment and he cleared his throat in the hope that the action would help. He looked up questioningly and Dumbledore wrapped an arm around the teen's shoulder as he guided Harry into the large, white, sterile looking room.
The arm around him didn't feel comforting at all in Harry's opinion. It felt more like it was an attempt to keep him within arm's reach than as a gesture of reassurance, and he shrugged his way out from under its weight.
Dumbledore gave Harry a pat on the back as he explained, "Not to worry, Harry, you're not in any trouble; but I still would like Madam Pomfrey to give you a check up, if you don't mind."
"But why?" Harry was starting to panic. Would Pomfrey be able to detect his injuries through the glamour charm? Or even worse, Harry's mind reeled, she could find out about the cutting! Harry stopped in his tracks, glancing over his shoulder to see how far away the exit was as Dumbledore, stopped now as well, turned to face him with a solemn look on his face,
"Harry, this morning, several students saw your true appearance and were gravely concerned that something had happened to you."
"What?!" Panic truly set in now, and Harry started to back up closer and closer to the doors as he tried to lie his way out of the situation he was in.
"I don't know w-what you're talking about. This is m-my true appearance!"
Dumbledore's face fell into a look of deep sorrow and he stood stationary as he explained further.
"Harry, I know you're using a glamour charm."
The statement was short and simple, but it almost brought Harry to his knees. He threw his hand out to balance himself against the railing on one of the beds and stood still for a few moments until his head stopped spinning. All of a sudden he felt the need to escape the situation and, on impulse, he turned to run, but smacked face first into a warm body.
Strong hands grabbed onto his shoulders and he clenched his eyes shut, trying to jerk away, but he was soon brought out of it by a hard, demanding voice telling him to, "Be still, Potter!"
Harry threw his eyes open in shock and saw that it was Snape holding onto him. He jerked his body again in the vain hope of release, but when that didn't happen, he went slack in resignation and slowly sank to the floor, Snape's hands following his path downward, not leaving his shoulders until he was fully sitting on the floor.
Harry drew his knees toward his chest and wrapped his arms around them, unable to keep himself from taking up the same defensive posture he'd had to adopt so often in his relatives' house. Lowering his face until it was hidden against his knees, he struggled to hold back the tears of defeat that had already started running down his cheeks.
Snape watched Potter's antics and was barely able to restrain himself from making some caustic remark out of habit. The Headmaster signaled for him to stay by Harry's side as he wandered off in search of Madam Pomfrey. Harry stayed where he was at on the floor while Snape was trying his hardest to pretend he couldn't hear the soft sobs escaping the boy's shaking form. Dumbledore returned with the medi-witch moments later and she stooped down so she could address Harry at eye-level.
"Come now, Mister Potter, onto one of the beds for me." She placed her hand along his arm and gently pulled him into a standing position as she spoke. "You'll catch your death of cold sitting on that drafty floor."
Harry reluctantly allowed himself to be guided a few steps to the closest bed and he sank bonelessly down onto it, turning his back to the three adults. Poppy then covered him with a blanket, raising her brow in surprise when he grabbed the end of it and brought it even farther up, pulling it over his face until all that could be seen was a tuft of his black hair poking out the top.
"Now," she turned her attention to the two men standing nearby, "what ails Mister Potter today?"
In whispered words, Dumbledore conveyed his assumptions to the medi-witch, and Snape watched in silence as the witch's face grew a determined look about it. She stepped forward once the explanation was given and gently tugged the blanket away from the boy's face. Harry was unwilling to give it up at first, but Poppy was nothing if not determined and, after struggling a minute or two, she finally won out. Harry immediately brought his hands up to cover his face, and upon seeing the boy's quivering body curled up in fear, the three adults shared a look that had Severus pacing over to the infirmary's storeroom to fetch a bottle of Calming Draught.
Walking back up to the bed, Snape handed Poppy the bottle and she measured out the proper dose into a small cup, setting the remainder of the bottle onto the nightstand. She leaned over Harry and gave his shoulder a light squeeze.
"Harry, I need you to take this. It is a Calming Draught, dear, and it will help you feel better."
But after several attempts, Poppy had still not received any reply, and so, Snape took the cup from her hand, marched around to the other side of the bed, and kneeled down. Grasping both of the skinny wrists in one hand, Snape slowly pulled Harry's hands down and out of the way, restraining them to the boy's chest. Harry had his eyes clenched shut, and he was already clearly starting to hyperventilate.
Snape pushed the cup's rim up to the boy's mouth and pressed it there until Harry's lips parted enough to allow him to quickly pour the potion in.
Harry's eyes flew open when the chalky tasting substance hit his tongue and he took a deep breath so that he could spit the stuff back out, but then a strong hand clamped over his mouth and he struggled to free himself of it, tossing his head from side to side as the rest of his body joined in the fight, his legs kicking out but catching nothing but air. He felt something hard press lightly against his neck, and when he heard Madam Pomfrey cast a spell, he instantly knew that it was her wand that was poking him.
Upon completion of the spell, Harry could feel his throat work without his consent and he involuntarily swallowed the potion, finally stopping his struggling when Snape's hands left his body a moment later. Exhausted by the ordeal, Harry lay quietly panting on the bed as the potion began to make his body go limp against his will, and he let his eyes drift mostly closed as the medi-witch repositioned his curled-up body on the bed.
Once that was done, Madam Pomfrey got to work right away. Casting the counter charm to several different glamour charms until she got the right one, they all watched in fascination as Harry's false image wavered and then melted away, leaving his true form there for them all to see.
Poppy's breath audibly hitched, and Dumbledore's jaw fell slack in an uncharacteristic show of shock. Snape however, always the most stoic as a rule, showed little, if any, sign of surprise. He merely raised an eyebrow at the wounded Savior of the Wizarding World and waited to see what would happen. Earlier today, when passed the note from Dumbledore requesting his presence in the infirmary at the end of his first class, Snape had immediately assumed it was to get an inventory of which potions needed to be re-stocked. What a surprise it was to instead be witness to the breakdown of the frail looking teen before him.
Poppy was the first to get over her shock, and she quickly cast a few spells that would measure Harry's health. Moments later, the charmed quill on the bedside table nearby started to write on the piece of parchment that sat next to it, scratching out a highly detailed list of Harry's injuries. Without waiting for the list to be completed, Poppy leaned over the paper, read what was written so far, and began bustling about, grabbing up various healing potions and such.
Harry continued to lay silent as the commotion went on around him, drawing Snape's attention more fully, and the Potions professor stepped closer to the side of the bed in an effort to see Harry's appearance more clearly. The boy was definitely thin; his clothes seemed to hang off of him, and his skin was pale and marred with various bruises and cuts. Snape's eyes wandered down from Harry's face, down his neck to where the new bruises had appeared, and then down the length of the boy's skinny arms to where Snape could see many sets of short, straight cuts, some fresh, and others in various stages of healing.
Unable to stop himself, the Potions professor reached down, twisted Harry's arm a bit to allow him a closer look, and then ran a single fingertip down the boy's skin from the crook of his elbow, to where the cuts ceased near the wrist. Snape instantly knew what the marks meant, how could he not when so many of his Slytherins resorted to the same methods over the years, but he had never thought that Potter would do it as well. He had always thought the boy too…pure for that. Snape's brow drew down as it always did when he encountered something that altered his perception of what he considered to be truth, and he gently released the thin arm and stepped back, allowing Poppy to do her job.
As Snape moved out of the way, Poppy hurried forward and started administering the various potions she had carried over, pouring doses of several different ones into Harry's unresisting mouth. The stoic man watched in uninterrupted silence for several minutes until Dumbledore's somber voice distracted him from his thoughts.
"How could it have come to this?"
Snape turned to his friend and mentor, but had no answer to the question. Dumbledore, however, didn't seem to need an answer and Snape watched as the man stepped closer to Harry's still body, looking the boy over as Snape had just done minutes before. Dumbledore took longer than Snape had in discovering the series of cuts on the undersides of Harry's arms, and the Headmaster sighed as he allowed Harry's arm to slide out of his grasp until the boy's hand was held within his own, then he tightened his grip, holding Harry's hand in the same manner as what a parent might do for a sick child.
It was a long while before Poppy considered her task done, and she collapsed into a nearby chair, totally exhausted by the amount of magic she had to work to right the many wrongs done to the boy stretched out on the bed next to her. But it wasn't the physical wounds that had the adults so worried, it was the psychological state of the boy's mind, for none of them had even considered for a moment that the Harry Potter would be subject to something as brutish as child abuse.
Of course, Dumbledore had known Harry would not be favored in his aunt's household, in fact that was one of the reasons he thought it would make a better living situation for the boy, certainly better than growing up in the wizarding world where his fame would ensure everything was handed to him on a golden platter. No, Dumbledore knew he would have to make sure the boy stayed level-headed and realistic to the ways of the world, hence his decision to leave him with his aunt and uncle, but he had never known that the boy's own blood relatives would take their dislike to such an extent. He shook his head in dismay at the situation and released Harry's hand, standing up from the bed and coming over to where the other two sat in chairs quietly discussing some of the findings.
"Well, Poppy, were you able to heal everything?"
"Most of the injuries were easily healed, Albus, but there wasn't much I was able to do about his weight other than give him a nutritional potion. That is a problem only healed with time." She wearily looked over to where Dumbledore was floating another chair over to where they were sitting and she added, "Honestly, he is so underweight, I'm not sure how he's still alive; I'm sure his magic has something to do with it."
Dumbledore nodded his understanding, his brow lowered in thought, and then he directed another question to her. "What are your suggestions for his continued care?"
Pomfrey was slow to answer, and she did so with slight hesitation, knowing the Headmaster would not like what he was about to hear. "As much as I'm loathed to say it, Albus, but I fear the child must be sent to St. Mungos."
The response startled Dumbledore and he asked Pomfrey to explain her reasoning.
"Surely, you saw the injuries on his arms, Albus." She rose from her seat and gestured to the sleeping boy, and Dumbledore could see a length of white bandages wrapped around the bony arms. "You know self-inflicted injuries can't be healed with magic. A healing spell works by drawing the patient's own internal magic out, guiding it until the injury is healed, but the internal magic won't work to heal an injury that was purposely inflicted." As she went on, her eyes began to tear as she voiced her limitations.
"Albus, I can heal physical wounds, but I'm not a trained mind healer; that is what he needs. I am afraid that I'm not sure what to do at this point. Not to mention, his low weight. Nutritional potions can only do so much."
Dumbledore once again nodded his understanding and then turned to Snape. The Headmaster was well aware of Snape's efforts with his Slytherins in these types of matters, even if the rest of the school remained unaware, but it was now time for the dark man of the dudgeons to aid a student outside his own house; surely, the man would see reason and agree to help Harry Potter.
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"Absolutely not!"
Dumbledore had given his request, and Snape was vehemently refusing to submit on the issue. Luckily, the yelling would not wake Harry from his sleep since the Headmaster had the foresight to pull Snape into Pomfrey's office before appealing to the Slytherin's sense of duty.
"Come now, Severus. You don't hate that child's father so much that you would deny him your expertise, would you? He is but another student at this school, the same institution which you have pledged to serve and protect when you first started teaching. Has it not been the duty of every professor here to do their best to see to the well-being of each and every child within Hogwart's walls?"
Snape gritted his teeth in annoyance and replied, "That is all well and good, Albus, but when is the last time you've ever seen any other Professor at this school assist one of my Slytherins? The whole house system is bias, and you know it!" Snape sneered in disgust at the very idea of what the Headmaster was suggesting. "Besides, that boy is nothing but trouble wherever he goes. What makes you think I want him anywhere near my quarters?!"
Dumbledore released a weary sigh, and that had more effect on Snape than anything the old man had said thus far; so, when the elderly wizard started speaking again, Snape made an effort to calm himself down and listen to the man's words.
"Severus, my boy, you know I would not ask this of you if there were any other option available, but you know what would happen if Harry is taken to St. Mungos. It would only be a matter of time before Voldemort found him, and the child is not in the best of positions in which to defend himself."
Snape said nothing in reply and the silence lay heavy and oppressive in the small room. Minutes later, Dumbledore spoke again, placing his hand on Snape's shoulder as he said, "If for no other reason, do it for Lily."
Snape's head shot up in response, and the hurt that shone in his eyes was hard to miss, but the Headmaster left the conversation at that and he slipped out of the room, leaving Snape alone with his thoughts.
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A/N: I know there wasn't a confrontation between Snape and Harry, per se, in this chapter, but there will be one in the upcoming chapters…maybe right after Harry wakes up.
Now, I have a question: Do you all want Draco to continue being a bully to Harry, or would you like the two to become friends somewhere down the line…let me know!
Also, I wanted to address one of my reader's concerns here in case anyone else felt the same way, that way I can possibly clarify some things to everyone at the same time. The reader pointed out that there wasn't enough detail in the last chapter. I purposely left the end of Harry's dealings with Stroper unexplained. I did this to keep the readers guessing about what occurred, just like Harry has to do. You will find out later what happened, I promise. I just felt that it would add to the mystery of both Stroper and the man's intentions if the readers had about the same amount of information as Harry does about the man.
Oh, and to green9721: No, Harry will not become a werewolf.
Anyways, with that said, I now implore you all to please send me a review and let me know if you like how the story is turning out. Also, don't forget to let me know about how you think the story should go as far as Malfoy is concerned. Thanks to you all for your wonderful support!!