June 10th 2017

Not all consequences are bad…

Charles

"Hello"

"Molly"

"What the fuck do you want? and how did you know where to find me?"

This was not exactly the warm greeting he had hoped for, but it was precisely what he had expected. There was no way he was going to tell her that a chance meeting with her friend Jackie in the coffee shop at Brize Norton had triggered this call. He had not long landed and had just bought a coffee before retrieving his car and setting off on the long journey to Bath, when he had seen her further back in the queue. He had waved at her to catch her attention and gestured that he would get her a drink, before turning back to the counter and flashing his pips and ignoring all the mutters of those who were still queuing before paying again, there were some advantages to being a Major. He had asked her casually, well as casually as he could manage, whether she had heard from Molly lately and Jackie said immediately that she had seen her the other day and that she was fine, happy really but still moaning about living with her Nan and not being able to drink. She was as casual as he was, without a clue as to what effect she was having on her listener. He couldn't believe how easy that had been. Weeks of weighing up different options of tracing her, Regimental records had been one although he knew how potentially dodgy that would be. The lads from 2 section that she might still be in touch with was another but all the potential ways and means were fraught with danger so to have the answer handed to him on the first plate he tried took the wind out of his sails. He was able to finish his conversation with Jackie without giving anything away, at least he hoped not, and then checked his phone to see if Molly's mum's number was still in his directory. It was, of course it was, so he phoned and asked if he could speak to her, knowing full well she wouldn't be there, so that he could get her Nan's number. To his combined horror and excitement her voice came down the line, if only he had known it was going to be that easy he would have taken his time to plan what he was going to say.

"We need to talk about things, money and everything, and before you say anything, I'm not going away till we've talked. So, where do you want to meet me?"

"I don't wanna meet you cos I don't wanna talk to you, so leave me alone"

"Nope, can't do that. Meet me in 2 hours outside the Nespresso shop on Regent Street"

"Why there?"

"Cos I know where it is and I know you know and I'm not a Londoner so I don't know where anywhere else is. Oh and by the way, don't even think of being a no-show cos I'll come and find you at your Nan's and I'll come in my suit and pretend to be a debt collector or something to embarrass her and then refuse to leave until you let me in."

He heard the welcome sound of her giggle.

"If you think a debt collector would embarrass my Nan, it's obvious you don't know her"

"Two hours Molly, or I'll come and find you"

Molly

'What a difference a day makes', that's the name of the song I think.

Well, this one certainly made a difference. I was lying on the sofa at mum's stroking my bump and feeling her wiggling and shuffling about, which is still a novelty, I didn't know what it was to start with, and showing off her scan pictures, definitely a girl, I was right. I was thinking how much I would love to be able to show him and talk about her when, speak of the bleeding devil, who should phone but a bloody big blast from my past, one I've been dreading speaking to. I knew I'd have to speak to him one day, I couldn't just risk him pitching up on a parade ground one day and being introduced as my new boss or him being contacted by the CSA for a DNA test. I wonder if he has forgiven me yet or if why he's calling me, we ain't exactly friends. Mind you he probably thinks I had an abortion cos that's what I said to everyone at the time, even though it was always going to be a lie.

He wants to meet me in London in a couple of hours to talk about money so he knows I am still up the spout, and that I didn't get rid, so he probably wants to buy me off to make sure I keep my gob shut! I must not cry if he does, I have done enough crying over him since I first met him and it ain't good for the baby when I get upset

Charles

He checked into a hotel and only gulped slightly when he was asked to pay the equivalent of the national debt of some small country and was grateful that he had plenty of credit on his card, one advantage of being away on active service, then changed into what civvies he had with him and set out to meet her. To say he was nervous would be an understatement. She didn't see him at first, he thought she was maybe looking for someone in uniform and didn't recognise him, so he watched her standing there looking lost with his hand running through the back of his hair and his teeth catching his bottom lip until his face broke into the widest possible smile as, knowing he was taking a massive risk, he grabbed her in a huge hug and kissed her firmly on the lips.

"You daft cow, what the hell did you think you were doing? Right come on then, where shall we go for a chat, your Mum's?" he saw the involuntary shake of her head "Okay, maybe not, your Nan's then?" another very similar shudder "Okay, Bath it is then" He knew exactly what reaction he would get to that suggestion and so far she hadn't said anything apart from 'hello'

"I'm not going to Bath,I've heard it's shit, Okay, Nan's will have to do I s'pose". She couldn't have sounded less enthusiastic if she tried.

"Right, let's find a taxi"

"Bloody hell, what's wrong with the tube? Or are you too posh?"

"Can't kiss you on the tube and I badly need to kiss you"

"Of course you can kiss on the tube. What did you just say?"

"Thanks for the invitation, but I'd still rather kiss you in a taxi. I've always wanted to kiss someone in the back of a London cab"

"Maybe I don't wanna kiss you? Have you thought of that?" She sounded like a petulant child stamping her foot!

"Rubbish, you know you love me and you know you're all that matters to me" He knew he was unashamedly using a phrase from their past in Afghan in the hope she would remember, but he also knew that he meant every word.

He knew she was nervous, she was fiddling round with the kettle and cups making tea that neither of them wanted, more for something to do than anything else. She had just told him that the baby was a girl and showed him the scan pictures and he was terrified to show too much emotion as he was not yet sure where he was going to fit into his daughter's life. That she was going to be in his life he was adamant about but he wanted her mother as well, 100% full time, he didn't want to let her out of his sight again, so he thought he had to tread very carefully as he still didn't really know why she had left him the first time. He was beginning to think that it had had nothing to do with not loving him!

He thought Molly looked beautiful, all rounded and glowing with her baby bump very obvious now she had taken off the long cardigan thingy she had been wearing. He gave into temptation and went behind her and put his arms round her non-existent waist, pulling her back against him, his hands flat on her bump, and started to kiss the nape of her neck under her hair, then turned her round and started to kiss her in earnest. The kiss got deeper and more and more passionate, he couldn't believe how incredibly sexy she was. If he had been asked he would have said that a woman who was almost six months pregnant wouldn't be very sexy at all, how wrong could he be! He was trying to steer her out of the kitchen when she stopped him.

"Charlie, stop it. My Nan could be back any second and we are supposed to be talking"

"How did you know my name?"

"I've always known your name, it's on your medical records you pillock, or did you think they redacted them for officers? And anyway I used it on New Year Eve"

"What, you expect me to remember that what with everything else you did?"

She slapped him, then laughed, a happy full blown giggle that he used to call her smirk, and he pulled her onto his lap on the chair, knowing that she would be able to feel just how aroused he was and began to kiss her again. She muttered something about talking so he stopped kissing her and looked at her straight in the eye and told that he hoped she knew how sorry he was and that he didn't want to talk about the past, it was gone, finished, over with, they couldn't change it or fix it, so it wasn't what mattered any more. Here and now and the future mattered not the back then.

"Are you sure you can live with that? Without talking about what happened? and you said we had come here to talk, And what the hell are you sorry for, it was me that stuffed up"

"No it wasn't it was me and I lied about wanting to talk to you, I just wanted to be on my own with you. I hope your Nan doesn't come back soon otherwise I won't be able to get up and say hello and you're not helping, sit still for God's sake. She's going to think I'm very rude."

"She will anyway if she sees that" she stroked him through his jeans and laughed as he groaned, then went on "I think my Nan will be able to guess what we've got up to in the past" She stroked her bump and kissed him.

He took a chance and kissed her bump, then told her that he couldn't quite believe how lucky he was but he thought that they should move to the hotel as a matter of urgency before her Nan came back. She wanted to know what hotel he was talking about and was then outraged by the fact that he hadn't mentioned it before, so he hugged her and asked if 'better late than never' would do as an excuse, then, as she shook her head, he said it was because he loved her so much that he keeps forgetting things when he sees her, so she hit him and asked him why he was being a lying sod and if he wasn't careful she would take him on Jeremy Kyle. He said he had no idea who that was, but if he found out he would definitely give her his answer.

Molly

Well how wrong could I be?

He didn't want to buy me off at all, he wanted me back with him where I should always have been, where I would always have been if I hadn't been such a stupid kid who was scared rigid at the time. A stupid girl who was suffering from PTSD and was ashamed of it, thought she had to hide it and deal with it on her own, didn't trust anyone, not even a bloke who, she knew, adored her. What a waste of time! He doesn't want to go over the past, says it's over and he's very sorry for stuff he said and did on New Years Eve, so we're even and now he just wants to be happy with me and with our baby and make decisions about the future. He looked bloody drop dead gorgeous in his civvies, I've never seen him out of uniform before, well, except in a hospital bed and that doesn't count, oh, and in the gym and a paddling pool without a shirt on, but I had to look away then in case anyone saw me drooling. I'm not sure you can say the same thing about maternity clothes, but it didn't seem to worry him, he spent most of the afternoon trying to get them off me anyway, and he kept telling me I was bloody gorgeous and that I was driving him insane and offering the evidence to prove it.

I really do love him, I don't think I ever stopped.

Charles

No matter how hard I tried to tell myself that it was all over, that I hated her, that she was a waste of time and space, I always knew, somewhere in the back of what brain I've got, that she was there, that one day I would come across her again, the army is pretty incestuous, everyone runs across everyone from time to time. I also knew that when I met her again that we would be together, probably wishful thinking, but I think it is Lady Luck, Molly was always destined to be the other half of me. I didn't try hard enough to stop her going the first time she left, I should have known that I was coming on far too strong with all my talk of the future, I was suffocating her. I didn't mean to but everything had gone to shit and I was clinging to the one thing I loved and I was scaring her half to death.

The second time she left was my fault as well. I behaved like some sort of Neanderthal, first almost raping her and then treating her like some little slag in order to punish her for all the 'might have been's and 'what could have been's and because I wanted her in my life so much and I couldn't have her. Then, when she found out she was pregnant, she couldn't get away fast enough and I don't blame her. Somewhere in my heart I knew she wouldn't have had an abortion, wouldn't have got rid of my child, that no matter how difficult things were she would never had done that, but I couldn't do anything about anything while I was on tour, so I spent the last four months doing the job the best way I can, avoiding all young medics no matter how pretty and flirtatious they were and how keen they were to spend time talking to me, which was my own fault for starting it, and making plans for what I would do when I came home to try and get her back in my life.

This turned out to be much easier than I could ever have imagined. I have just made love to Molly and it was just as spectacular as the first time although I was a bit scared to start with, I didn't want to hurt her or the baby but she laughed at me and told me that as long as I didn't repeat the rough stuff it would be fine and it was. We talked about the baby and I put my hand on Molly's bump so that I could feel her moving, but I couldn't feel anything to start with. Molly laughed at me and said not to be so impatient, she wasn't a squaddie so I couldn't order her to move, then I felt these little ripples deep in her mother's belly and felt my daughter move for the first time. What a day!

Molly

This hotel is well nice and I would love to stay here but Charlie says that it is so bloody expensive that he would have to send me out begging like the little match girl if we stay here too long, haven't got a scooby who she is, but there you go! He wants to go to Bath tomorrow, course he does, he has just got back from tour and he came to see me first and wants to see his parents and Sam. I want to stay at home, but he says he doesn't trust me not to do a runner and he won't let me out of his sight. I think he's joking or at least I hope he is, I ain't gonna live under his thumb cos that was the problem I saw happening last time, but it is up to me to slap him down if he gets too bossy, I'm not a kid anymore. I ain't looking forward to meeting his mum and dad, I shouldn't think I would be their first choice as girlfriend for their only son, but he loves me and I love him and we have loved each other for quite a long time now, well on and off to be honest, but they don't need to know too much about that. I must ask him tomorrow how much they actually know about back then, I'd rather know than wonder.

We had some food from room service which was seriously nice and then the baby started to jiggle around so she obviously takes after her dad and likes posh food, so I told him and he put his hand on my bump and she promptly stopped. He got a bit impatient so I told him to wait out and we both smirked, then she set off again and his face was a picture. I felt a bit bad that I had tried so hard to keep him away from her. He said if we wanted to live on room service food that cost as much as that did, he would have to put me on the streets, cheeky bugger, so I told him no-one would fancy me in this state, and he told me to stop fishing for compliments, which I was, and that I was the most gorgeous girl he has ever seen as I know only too well.

We made love earlier and I have to say, God, he's good. I remember the girls back on tour speculating, which was a bloody difficult conversation for me to listen to seeing as how I didn't tell a soul about us, anything about us at all, not our history or nothing. I hope that Izzy never found out what he's like, but I don't think so cos he knew he would lose me forever if he did that. If I'm gonna stay with him, and I think I am, then I'm gonna have to get used to girls perving on him, cos when you look like he does and you are in charge as well, it's gonna make you bleeding hard to resist, I should know! He treated me like glass when we made love until I got a bit impatient with him and told him I wouldn't break and then had to show him I wouldn't. He was terrified of hurting me or the baby, but I told him to not even think of the rough stuff if he ever wanted to walk again, but other than that, he was good to go. I wished I hadn't mentioned it, cos he got all upset about it again, I don't think he is ever going to stop feeling guilty about it. Good!

If someone had told me when I came home from tour or when I was so bloody miserable at the start what with all the puking and that, that I was going to end up this happy, I would have called them a bleeding liar, so it just goes to show doesn't it. I don't actually know what it shows, but it sounds bloody good.

Charles

We are going to Bath tomorrow to sort out where we are going to live, all three of us. Molly doesn't want to go, I think it is a bit like laying a ghost for her, she says she is nervous about meeting my parents, but I have told her that not only will my dad be seriously impressed that I managed to hook up with someone like her, but that I managed to get her pregnant as well, and even more impressed that I broke regulations to do it, and my mum will be rushing out of the door two minutes after we arrive waving her credit card ready to start buying pink and frilly stuff for her granddaughter and may need to be handcuffed after a while. And don't forget she saved my life as well and my parents are never going to forget that, even if she does. But I will ring them in the morning and make sure they know what to expect, I don't want any shocked faces when they see how pregnant she is. I am happy to show off her bump and her, I love them both.

Authors notes: Nothing like a nice bit of romantic slop on a miserable cold Saturday afternoon in January. Thanks for all your lovely comments, I know this is not great literature but it made me feel so good writing it and I hope it made you feel good reading it.