Author's Note: Double digit review numbers! I'm so happy! Thank you to all of you who are reading this as well. I hope you continue to come back for more.
So, in case you're wondering, I started with the post-birthday aftermath because even though I changed some of the events prior to it, I didn't want to rewrite all of Twilight just to change a few details.
I intend no copyright infringement with this story it is purely for my amusement.
Chapter 5 – Revelations
Edward wasn't at the Cullen house when we got there. Alice saw him leaving just before we arrived. We assumed that he read Rosalie's thoughts and took off before we got there. Alice told us that he had gone to the hospital, probably to use the people and Carlisle as a buffer so that Rosalie couldn't attack him. I insisted on going there to confront him. Rosalie stayed behind because she didn't want to be tempted to cause a scene with Edward. Rosalie explained to me that she had been raped and nearly killed when Carlisle changed her. Esme stayed with her because Rosalie didn't feel like being alone. This new revelation about how low Edward may have sunk had brought up emotions in Rosalie that she preferred remained hidden. I could relate to that.
Alice drove me to the hospital because she didn't want me to be alone with Edward. I was really glad because I didn't want to be alone with him either. There were still so many things that happened during our relationship that I hadn't dealt with. Some things he had done that I just couldn't even think about.
Edward was lounging arrogantly on the couch in Carlisle's office when I entered. I never wanted to slap someone so much in my entire life.
"Something on your mind, Isabella?" Edward asked haughtily.
"Did you…" I choked. "Did you…"
"Did I what, Isabella?" Edward smirked. He knew that I preferred to be called Bella and was referring to me as Isabella to piss me off. That was really stupid because what he called me was the last thing on my mind at the moment. "I know you know how to speak."
"Spit it out, Edward." Alice growled. She was very upset with Edward. I had never seen her look so deadly. "Did you dazzle Bella into sleeping with you?"
"It's so hard to remember." Edward taunted.
I lunged at him, but Alice restrained me. I was pretty glad because I would have only hurt myself.
"Did you?" I screamed at him while still in Alice's grasp.
"I'd be interested in hearing the answer as well." Carlisle looked livid as he strode into his office, his eyes didn't remain on Edward long though. They almost immediately went to where the statue I had given him sat on a shelf. Once he saw that it was undamaged, he breathed a sigh of relief, as did I.
"Hmm… let me think…" Edward drawled.
I was taking very large, controlled breaths to manage my rage. If he had done what I was afraid of, I wouldn't stop Rosalie from tearing him a new one. In fact, I would probably ask Emmett and Jasper to help her.
"Why would I want to lower myself to do such a thing?" Edward finally answered, sounding disgusted at the very thought of sex with me.
"You asked me to!" I screamed once again, struggling to free myself from Alice's mighty grasp. "You practically begged me to, remember!" My voice was increasing in both pitch and volume as I spoke. "For a long time, I thought that you broke up with me because I said no."
"Please, Bella. You're only embarrassing yourself." He laughed humorlessly.
It took me awhile before I could calm down enough to form a rational thought. I took very controlled breaths to even out my temper. After I finally stopped trying to escape from Alice, I managed to look at Edward and beg him with my eyes to answer my question.
It looked like he wasn't going to answer me. I guess I had to resort to asking Carlisle to check. That was really embarrassing, but I knew that I needed to know. I had to understand just how much he had damaged me.
"I guess I'll need a pelvic exam, Carlisle," I blushed, and Carlisle nodded sadly, "after the Amazing Kreskin here leaves, of course. I don't want him seeing that, even through your mind."
"I won't leave." Edward told me defiantly. "There is nowhere you can go that I won't see your precious little naked body."
"What is your problem?" I screamed at him, once again my rage was ignited. "Is there something wrong with people keeping some things private?"
For a brief second, I saw a look flash across his face. I was on to something.
"That's it!" I exclaimed, now elated that I had some insight into Edward's torment of me. "You have to know everything. That's why you did all of this because you can't hear me. All of the controlling, the dazzling, spying on me while I sleep, it was all because you're frustrated by the fact that you can't hear me. You hate the fact that a simple little human is better than you at something, and that drives you crazy."
"Alright!" Edward yelled back at me, clearly trying to divert attention from what I had said. "I didn't have sex with you. Are you happy? You were too stupid to give in and have the best night of your life. I did try to dazzle you, but you stubbornly refused, dumb bitch." I thought that Alice and Carlisle were both going to start growling at him from the looks on her face, but they managed to keep control of their tempers. They probably were mentally ripping him a new one, but he didn't let on. "I finally managed to dazzle you enough that you didn't say no, but you were so out of it, it would have been like having sex with a dead fish."
"Could you be any more disgusting, Edward?" Alice finally managed to yell. "Bella is a wonderful person that you treated like garbage!"
"I treated her like garbage?" Edward asked incredulously. "She is the one who threw away her chance to make love to me!"
"Make love? That's not what it would have been, and you know it!" I barely controlled my rage through gritted teeth. "I doubt that love had anything to do with what you wanted from me!"
"Who are you to think that I could ever love someone like you?" Edward spat back at me. "You should have jumped at the chance I was giving you, but instead you chose to continue you meager little existence without the pleasures that someone like me could bring you."
"I don't think I can trust that you actually backed down, Edward. You never did that before." I glared at him. "I'm still going to have Carlisle check because you are a liar. You have done nothing but lie to me the whole time we were dating, and you've been lying to your family for God knows how long before that."
Edward looked like he wanted to say something but thought better of it. I glanced at Alice who shook her head. He obviously hadn't planned on saying anything, so she couldn't see it.
"Edward, while I am not kicking you out of the family, I don't think we can be around you right now. We were going to let you stay, but with this new revelation, I think it would be both safer for you and emotionally healthier for the rest of us if we just took a little break from one another." Carlisle finally spoke up. "I'd like you to spend some time by yourself for a few weeks and decide whether or not you'd like to remain with this family. If you wish to stay, you may, but I wouldn't expect your siblings to forgive you quickly, especially if they think that you aren't truly remorseful."
Edward stared at him for a few minutes, daring Carlisle to completely kick him out, but Carlisle wouldn't do it. I bet that just chafed, so to speak, that Carlisle would care enough about the feelings of an insignificant human that he actually asked his extremely gifted vampire son to leave. This whole confrontation made me curious. I knew why he hurt me. He was frustrated with his inability to hear my thoughts, but why in the world would he use hurting me as an opportunity to hurt Jasper as well? I decided to be petty about it. I knew I couldn't punch Edward like I wanted to, so instead, I decided to hurt him the only way I knew how.
"Alice, don't search the future, but remind me to ask Jasper something later." I told her, winking.
"Okay, Bella." Alice giggled, catching on. Carlisle actually chuckled a bit at that as well. Alice pulled out her phone to dial Jasper's number. "Let me just call Jasper and Emmett and ask them to cut their hunting trip short."
"Don't be such a child, Bella." Edward told me, rolling his eyes. "There is nothing you have to ask Jasper, and you know it. You are just trying to get a rise out of me."
I knew that he was using reverse psychology on me. He had done this before on a few occasions. I recognized the signs. It usually didn't work on me. He usually had to resort to dazzling me to get the information out of me. I shuddered at the thought of what he did to me when I managed to go against his wishes, but quickly suppressed my horror. I smiled petulantly back at him knowing that Alice and Carlisle wouldn't allow him to overwhelm my senses or torment me today.
"If you say so, Edward." I laughed. "Isn't it just killing you that you don't know for sure if I have to ask Jasper something, and if I do, what it is that I have to ask?" I paused for effect before I told him, "It's about you, by the way."
"Go to hell, Isabella." Edward spat at me as he pushed past Carlisle and out the door.
"He's really leaving." Alice told us. "I'll let you know when he can't hear us anymore."
When Alice implied that Edward might still be able to hear us, I realized how loud I had been in Carlisle's place of work. I was a bit embarrassed that I couldn't control my temper a little better.
"I hope you don't get in trouble for the outburst I caused." I apologized.
"Strangely enough, this room is soundproof, Bella. Don't ask me why. It was like that before it became my office." He chuckled at it a bit. "Humans can't hear what's going on in here, though, of course, I could."
"If Edward came here so that he could use the hospital as a buffer, he didn't pick a very good room." I giggled.
"I think he chose my office because as soon as I sensed him in the building, I began worrying that he might destroy your wonderful statue." Carlisle admitted, ashamed. "I had no idea he would come here, Bella. I was heading this way to make sure he didn't damage it when you and Alice arrived." He continued to fret. He was really upset about that? "I'm so sorry that it was ever alone in the same room with him. I know how much of yourself you poured into this masterpiece. I feel awful."
All of a sudden, I started to see Carlisle in a whole new light. First of all, Carlisle was single and available; though I was sure I didn't have a chance. Second, he cared deeply about my feelings, something I never experienced with Edward. While we were dating, it wasn't as though I even thought about whether or not Edward considered my feelings. My feelings simply didn't matter. I feel differently with Carlisle, though. I was sure that Carlisle did care about me, but I was fairly confident that he thought of me as a daughter, not a potential girlfriend.
"I don't expect you to post a guard here to ensure the safety of my statue twenty-four hours a day." I smiled at him.
"I know that, but you just gave it to me today, and I'm not anxious to lose my new favorite piece of artwork." He admitted sheepishly.
His favorite piece? I blushed furiously at that. He truly treasured the statue I had given him. I now wasn't as nervous about giving it to him. I was very glad that I had entrusted my statue to Carlisle. He was more than worthy of this creation.
"Edward's half way to Canada." Alice interrupted a few minutes later. "If you still think you need a pelvic exam, he's far enough away that he won't see it. If you don't actually want a pelvic exam, we can still find out the results. If Carlisle decides to check you, I can tell you what the results are, and you don't have to go through with the indignity of it if you don't want."
"Let's do that." I nodded.
Carlisle concentrated for a minute, then Alice's eyes unfocused. She was slipping into a vision.
"You're still a virgin." She confirmed. "It seems Edward was telling the truth, for once."
I sighed and then broke down into relieved tears. Carlisle hugged me and stroked my back until my tears finally dried. It felt very nice to be in his arms once again. I actually had a hard time letting him go, but right now, I couldn't depend on anyone the way I had with Edward. It didn't matter who it was, I couldn't date anyone right now. I had to be me again first before I could be with someone else. I never again wanted to lose myself like I had with Edward. I didn't know when I would be ready to date again, but I did know that it wasn't right now.
Since the shopping trip was officially cancelled, and Charlie still thought I was going to be gone, Alice insisted that I spend the weekend with them, especially when I needed to talk to Jasper so badly.
I decided since it had been awhile, and Alice had been denied the pleasure of a shopping trip, that this would be the perfect opportunity for her to engage in her second favorite pastime, Bella Barbie. She was overjoyed.
She selected a multi-colored top in earth tones with various sized rectangles all over the top with a brown short pleated skirt and a wide white belt. She capped off the look with white knee-high boots. She applied thick makeup to my eyes and gave my hair large curls. I looked like I belonged in an episode of Charlie's Angels.
When I was eating dinner, Carlisle had come home from work. He rolled his eyes when he saw me.
"Alice." He looked toward her room and spoke more loudly than necessary. "Why did you feel the need to force Bella into this get up?"
"She didn't force me, Carlisle." I giggled. "I let her have her wicked way with me."
"You do know that if Emmett had heard you say that, his head would have exploded?" He chuckled at me.
"Anyway…" I rolled my eyes at him. "She asked me if she could try something that was out there to see if I like it, and now that we tried it, we can safely put this in the never wear this again category."
"Absolutely," he agreed, "you are far too beautiful to be wearing that much makeup."
I blushed furiously and wordlessly finished my dinner. He couldn't have meant that romantically. He must have meant that as a fatherly gesture. I have to get the idea of us out of my head. It is an impossibility.
After dinner, I washed Alice's makeup off of my face and brushed my hair out before putting on pale pink long sleeve silk pajamas. I went downstairs to watch a movie with Alice, Rosalie, and Esme. Carlisle joined us about halfway through it.
Though he said nothing about my wardrobe change, I kept hoping he would notice and comment one way or another, but he never did. What's wrong with me? I know I don't want a relationship right now, but I can't help but think about whether or not Carlisle will find me attractive.
I went to bed after the movie, disappointed that Carlisle hadn't said anything.
Jasper didn't come home until after I had gotten up the next morning. Everyone waited for me to ask the big question. I was fairly impressed that Alice hadn't searched the future once Edward left. I had only meant to keep it from him, not keep her in the dark.
"Sorry, Alice." I whispered. "I should have clarified earlier. You could have checked. I was just messing with Edward."
"I know that, but I also know that you dislike being the last to know things, and since it was your question, I thought I'd let you ask it instead of searching it out for you." She explained.
"Okay, then, on that note, I should probably just get on with it." I laughed.
Everybody came downstairs. They were all curious about what I needed to ask Jasper.
"Did Alice tell you my theory about Edward's frustration with me?"
"Yes, and I think you're right." He answered me.
"But I think it's deeper than that." I went on. Jasper nodded thoughtfully. "I think he actually thinks he's better than everyone else."
"He's subtly suggested that to me before." Alice admitted.
"Is there some sort of hierarchy, like humans are lowest, then regular vampires, then gifted vampires, then extremely gifted vampires?" I pressed, looking back and forth between Alice and Jasper.
"I detected something like that in his feelings for others. He considers Alice and me better than the rest of the family, and all of us better than you because you're human." Jasper told me. "Of course, he puts himself at the very top."
"So do you think that he considers you a threat to him because you are gifted like he is, or do you think he wanted to split you up?" I wondered.
"The former." Jasper told me. "I've been thinking about that. He actually considered both you and me a threat to him. That's why he was hardest on us."
"I figure that he thought of me as a personal affront to his world-view since I am just a pathetic human that he should be able to have power over." I agreed.
"You are not a pathetic human." Carlisle scowled at my choice of words.
"Edward thinks I am," I countered, "but I no longer place much stock in his opinion of me."
"That's good to know." Carlisle smiled at me.
"He thinks he should be the head of this family, doesn't he?" Rosalie interjected, very angrily. "I think this has been coming for a long time."
"That's what I think." I nodded. "When I've thought back about our time together, I realized that he thought since he had more information than everyone else, he should be the one that made all of the decisions. He also guarded that information like the CIA guards the NOC List. And I'm sorry to say that I believe it's why he hung around Alice so much. He wanted to know the things she saw, and didn't want to trust her to share since he refused to share his knowledge with others."
"That's what this has been all about, a power play?" Esme asked.
"I believe so." I told them. "I don't mean to offend any of you." I said nervously. "I actually believe that all vampires are gifted. It's just that some of the gifts are more subtle, less supernatural, but still important and powerful. Edward, for example, is a terrible leader. That is a gift that he simply doesn't have, though he believes that leadership will come to him if he has enough power."
"So, you're saying that my gift is leadership?" Carlisle asked, nervously.
"One of your gifts is leadership." I clarified, smiling at him. "You are also compassionate, and nearly immune to blood." And completely beautiful. I added silently. Where did that come from?
Jasper cleared his throat and cocked an eyebrow at me. I blushed and looked away from him. It would be best for my self-image to change the subject.
"What about my gifts?" Emmett asked hopefully. I was glad he offered a way out.
"That's easy." I smiled at him. "You're very strong, obviously, but you also have the rare gift of fun. For an un-aging vampire, you sure know how to make the most of your time, and find the fun in all situations. You are also gifted with directness. I love the way you are never afraid to speak your mind."
"And Rosie?" He urged me to go on.
"She's beautiful, of course, and passionate, and has a great sense of justice. I also think she has a gift of persuasiveness." I looked over to her. She was nervously grinning at me.
"What about Esme?" He once again pressed.
"She has the gift of being a mother, the ability to love unconditionally." I told them, smiling at Esme. "She also knows exactly what to do to make you feel better, and has the ability to see the best in everyone."
"Thank you." She mouthed to me.
"In fact, I bet that she's been dying to share with us some good points about Edward because she can't bear the fact that we've been basically ripping Edward to shreds for awhile now." I told them.
"Yes." She nodded. "I think he can still come around. I don't see how right now, but I know that he isn't beyond help."
"We all need to keep that in mind." Carlisle told us pointedly. "We've all made mistakes, and have something to be forgiven for. We need to keep ourselves open to the possibility that Edward might one day truly seek forgiveness."
Could I forgive him? I'd like to think so, even if he never asks for it. Could I fall in love with him again? I really doubted it. There were just so many things he had done that I couldn't ever forget.
"Do you really believe that, Bella?" Rosalie asked me.
"That all vampires have gifts? Absolutely." I told her confidently.
"I think you're mistaken in your logic, Bella. You said that all vampires are gifted, but I think you're forgetting that humans are gifted as well." Carlisle pointed out. "Take you for example. You're observant and insightful; you're extremely averse to hurting others, even to the point of causing yourself pain, and of course the ability to keep Edward out of your mind."
There was a slight pause before I saw Jasper cock his head at Carlisle who immediately looked away embarrassed. That couldn't be what it looked like. It just couldn't. Carlisle certainly liked women who were beautiful like Esme and Rosalie. That's why he changed them, because he hoped they would fall in love with him. Even though he said that I was beautiful earlier, I in no way compared to Esme and Rosalie. I would never be beautiful like that. I would always be plain, simple Bella.