Felt Like Hope

AN: This chapter is a flashback. I didn't want to but it could not be helped. Sigh.

Dean stood on the small rise looking down as the army, his army gathered. Their numbers grew by the hour as the time for the breaking of the final seal drew nearer. Only one seal more needed to be won. Only two seals were left to battle over. Sighing, Dean rubbed a hand through his hair. The extra length drove him nuts but there was little time to worry about haircuts.

A whisper of wings alerted him. "Hiya, Cas. How goes the preparations?" The angels below moved as if they were one fluid mass. Even in their human vessels, the sheer number made it impossible to hide their unearthliness. Wings, even hidden to the human eye, caused the air to waver like a heat wave in the desert. Dean wondered what a gathering of angels would be called. Sam would know.

"A Choir," Cas answered.

"You know it drives me nuts when you pluck the thoughts from my head."

"Apologies, with this many of us gathered on earth, our grace is ….hard to tether."

"Choir seems to gentle. It should be called something with more power. Something that lets people know how scary you pigeons can be. A tremble of angels or a feather duster of angels." Turning, Dean shot a cocky grin at Cas.

"Dean, you don't need to hide your feelings. I know this is hard."

Smile falling, Dean grasped Cas' should as he walked by. "There has to be another way."

"There is no other choice. Sam has one of the last seals. On the full moon, her death will break the last seal and Sam will have control of hell."

"And how screwed up is this seal. A virgin mother? Didn't you feather heads already pull that trick? Did anyone think that maybe since it was a seal that would open the gates of hell, that maybe you shouldn't go around knocking up virgins?"

"It was not heaven, Dean. Mankind's science is the cause of this."

Creepy Petri dish pregnancy," Dean grumbled. "There has to be a way to get to her before then."

"The mansion is warded and angel proof. All our human agents have been killed before getting closer than a mile. We are out of options. All that is left is to wait at the sacrifice point and try to stop the hoards as they pour out of hell."

"Cas, that plan sucks."

"I find myself in agreement."

Dean let the options roll in his mind. Each decision and choice leading to endless loses hopeless defeats. Unless.

"They would let me in. I could make it past the gates."

Cas froze, his body rigid as he processed Dean's plan. "You are also one of the last seals. The Righteous Man. Your death would open hell as well as hers. You would just be exchanging one sacrifice for another."

"I don't think he could kill me, Cas." Seeing Cas' look of disbelief he added, "I won't let him take me to that point. I'll do what it takes Cas. No matter what. I won't let him use me to open hell."

Looking deep into Dean's eyes, Cas read the truth from his mind, his very soul. "Dean, that is just guilt. Would you trade your life for just the slimmest chance that the old Sam is still in there? He's been drinking demon's blood for the past year. It's a poison that affects the soul. Whatever he was, all that was good in him, it's gone. Sammy is dead."

"An angel that doesn't believe in miracles," Dean whispered. "What is the world coming to?"

"Hell," Cas answered and left Dean standing overlooking the Choir.

Had Cas known Deans hidden thoughts he most likely would have tried to stop him. Or maybe not. The blue eyed angel had been practically living in Dean's head for the past six months there was little chance that Dean could actually hide something from him. Free will was God's gift to man, even Cas had to respect his decision. Or maybe Cas still believed in miracles. All Dean knew was that he once had placed all his faith in Sammy. Maybe that faith could be restored.

Driving down the road toward a mansion guarded by hell hounds and demons, a swell deep within his chest pushed its way upward. An emotion unknown since the day Sammy walked out the hotel door. If felt like hope.