Chapter 7: Friction

As Jill's former roommate in Palm Springs, I knew I should be spending time with her now that she was back at St. Vladimir's, but I was completely and utterly distracted by Adrian. Everything he did enthralled me. We hardly saw each other during the day, which was just as well. We didn't want our "friendship" to raise suspicion. At nighttime (or what would be daytime in the normal human world), we ran free.

Thankfully, I had a single room in the dorms, but it was still nearly impossible for Adrian to get there after curfew without anyone asking questions. I knew he could compel them into thinking they hadn't seen anything suspicious, but it was still easier for me to climb out of my second-floor window, where he would be waiting to catch me and walk me back to his room in guest housing. Adrian was too much of a gentleman to let me walk alone. I was so tired during morning practice whenever we had a late-night rendezvous, but I hid it well. I had a feeling Rose would be proud of me anyway.

After a week, we still hadn't done anything more than kiss. Adrian was very patient, but I knew he had to be getting frustrated. Physically, it couldn't be easy for him to get his hopes—and more—up, only to be let down. I still wasn't willing to go all the way, but on Saturday night, even I was getting a bit bored with simply making out. Luckily for him, I was also feeling a little bit naughty, at least by Sydney Sage standards.

"Adrian," I murmured, leaning my head back slightly as he kissed my neck. We were lying on his bed, side by side, fully clothed as usual. My left leg was curled around his right, and I tightened my grip. "What do you say we go a little further?"

He looked up, unable to contain his excitement. "Really, Sage? Only if you want to. I mean, maybe I should practice taking off your shirt first. We haven't quite gotten that far yet," he teased.

I laughed. "Slow down. I don't want to go all the way. But I have a few other ideas that might interest you."

"Oh yeah?" He smiled. "Want to put them together in a PowerPoint presentation and get back to me on that?"

I began to unbutton his shirt slowly, kissing him all the while. He helped me ease it off of him, and I tossed it aside. When I got to the button of his jeans, he began to reach under my shirt. I panicked. I believed I looked horribly flabby under my shirt, but the rational part of me knew that Adrian wouldn't see me that way. I had been careful to shift my weight during our makeout sessions so he couldn't feel my ribs, and I was not about to let him see me. Trying to be smooth, I grabbed his hands and pressed them back into the pillows. "You just relax," I whispered. "Let me do all the work."

As a teaser, I slipped one hand under his boxers and found what I was looking for.

"Oh, Sydney," he said breathlessly. "You have no idea what you do to me."

Smiling, I started to pull his jeans and boxers down. He reached up again, this time pulling my shirt over my head before I could protest. His eyes widened. Knowing I was busted, I sat up, straddling his legs. He scrambled to a seated position too, taking in the sight of me.

"Seriously, Sage?" Apparently our first-name basis in the heat of the moment was over. "What the hell kind of training is Rose putting you through?"

"Don't blame Rose," I pleaded. "If anything, she's been trying to help me. Things have just been hard, okay? I'll get back on track, I swear. Now where were we?" I leaned down to kiss him again, but his hands on my shoulders stopped me.

"I can't, Sage. You're beautiful at any weight; don't get me wrong. But I can't see you like this and carry on as if you're healthy and whole."

"Are you kicking me out?" I asked incredulously, hopping off the bed.

"No, I'm—you can stay and we can talk about this."

"You want to talk?" What was wrong with him? Wasn't I good enough? Clearly not, if he wanted to stop and chat.

"I want to do a lot more than talk. But that's irrelevant right now, because that's not what you need. What happened to you?"

My only reply was the slam of the door behind me as I grabbed my shirt and left.

Monday morning rolled around, only compounding my misery.

"You expect that to hurt her, Sydney?" Rose asked, as I threw another less-than-impressive punch at Polina. She had given up on even pinning me to the mat. It was clear she could have done it every ten seconds, and neither of us wanted to go through that. I suspected she may even have felt a little bit sorry for me, but mostly she appeared annoyed that she had to wake up early for practice with a partner who couldn't challenge her at all. We had all argued that it wasn't fair for us humans to be fighting a dhampir. "You want to fight Strigoi someday and you're afraid of little Kachusova here?" Rose had asked us. She had a point.

"Sorry," I said lamely.

"Don't apologize to me. Apologize to Kachusova, who has been dealing with your incompetence all morning. You're better than this, Sydney. Pull yourself together." Ignoring my scowl, she dismissed us from class. I dashed off to the locker room before Rose could corner me again.

"She sure was a bitch to you today," remarked Anna.

"I deserved it," I snapped back. I may have been angry with Rose, but my loyalty is primarily to her and not to my classmates. If anyone knows about loyalty, it's an Alchemist. Truthfully, I found Anna to be as whiny and annoying as Rose did. I especially hated her because she was naturally so thin. It was like training with a Moroi, which might be the only thing worse than training with a dhampir. Well, except perhaps a Strigoi.

"No you didn't," Anna continued. "None of us deserve this. We're working our asses off here. I want to quit."

"Careful," said Elodie. "She probably has the locker room bugged and listens to everything we say."

I spent my morning classes dreading lunch with Rose even more than usual. Although I was perfectly on time as always, Rose had apparently arrived several minutes before me. She was waiting for me at the table with one tray of food for herself and another in front of my empty seat.

"Don't hate me, please," she said softly. "I'm not doing this to be mean to you."

I stared her down. It was true. She wasn't trying to hurt me. Her dark eyes brimmed with exhaustion and sadness. Fury rose in me, but I pushed it down and just stared at my tray. There was a grilled chicken sandwich, an apple, a pile of carrots, a yogurt, and a cookie.

"I tried to keep it healthy," she said softly. "But I do need you to eat it all."

"I can't."

"Yes, you can. You have a full hour until your next class starts. I'll sit here with you. Come on, Sydney. You want to be a guardian? This is what it takes. This is bravery."

"Eating lunch is bravery?" I felt mildly insulted.

"Doing things that terrify you is bravery," she corrected. She picked up her chicken sandwich, and I was touched to see that she had selected the exact same meal for herself. I knew she wasn't a fan of vegetables that weren't fried, and she probably wanted two cookies. But she was trying, in her own way, to make me feel better.

By 12:40, we had to compromise. I swore I would throw up during afternoon practice if I ate one more bite. "And if you try to force-feed me," I warned. "I'll make sure your shoes just happen to be in the way when I do." She sent me off to class with the apple and wrapped up the cookie to give to me after practice. I hoped she would forget about it.

My mind was reeling during class and I couldn't focus. I swore my thoughts were making me more nauseous than my expanded stomach. I had never been so distracted in my life. No matter what was going on, I could always get my work done. What has leaving the Alchemists done to me? I thought of how my father would disapprove of everything in my life these days—my training, my relationship with Adrian, the food I just ate.

I couldn't take it anymore. My hand flew into the air and I asked to go to the restroom. Mr. Mackenzie, the history teacher, looked surprised but nodded. I tried to look normal until I reached the hallway, then took off at a run.

Heading back to class, I felt guilty but relieved. My stomach was emptier and my mind was sharper. I was surprised that my body had reacted so strongly to what was, admittedly, a normal amount of food. I hadn't intended to throw up; it just happened. There was no way I would admit it to Rose. She would probably make another tray for me at dinner if she knew. I remembered I was supposed to be eating an apple during class and almost laughed out loud at the thought.

When I arrived at practice, Rose gave me a sympathetic look. "Still planning to puke on me, Sage?" she asked in a low voice while everyone else was dragging the mats to the center of the gym.

"No. I think I'm good."

She smiled. "See? You survived. Go get a mat, killer." She gave my shoulder a gentle shove. "Alright, people, same pairs as this morning. Zach, you're with me again. We'll start with some stretches."

Polina didn't look any happier about being paired with me again than Zach did about being paired with Rose. I resolved to be better than I had been that morning. I still felt heavier on my feet than I preferred to feel, but I was also a bit stronger and less shaky. I managed to doge a blow from Polina and hit her ribs with an uppercut. Rose, who somehow notices absolutely everything around her, praised me. "Looking better, Sage!" she called, ducking under Zach's fist.

I dawdled after practice, waiting for Rose to give me the cookie. I certainly didn't want it, but I knew better than to try to escape. Elodie was still in the gym too. She was sitting on the floor with one pant leg rolled up. Rose examined her knee, pressing on the patella, flexing the leg, and asking questions.

"Did it just start?" I heard her ask.

"It started feeling sore while I was running last Thursday morning," Elodie answered. "I thought it would go away, but it didn't. It just keeps getting worse. I'm trying not to run with a limp, but I can't help it. And roundhouse kicks are really painful. Not that I won't do them. I'll do them. I'll keep running too." Her voice was getting faster and more frantic. "I just thought I should say something, because on the first day of class, you said—"

Rose cut her off. "Does this hurt?" She pressed on the outside of Elodie's leg, far above the kneecap. Elodie yelped. "It's your IT band," she explained. "That stands for 'iliotibial.' It runs from your hip down to your knee. It's nothing serious, but it can get pretty painful when it's irritated."

"What did I do wrong?" Elodie asked.

"Nothing," said Rose. "It just happens. Remember what I said about repetitive motion? You're just overusing it, and this is how your body is reacting. Everyone is built slightly differently. Sometimes you do nothing wrong and you break anyway. It just happens." She patted Elodie's knee comfortingly and rolled down the pant leg. "We can cut back on the running and work on strengthening your quads. I'll show you some stretches, and we'll get you a foam roller. You'll hate me for it, but it will help in the long run."

I didn't want to find out what a foam roller was, and I doubted Elodie did either. If Rose thought it was painful, it was likely agonizing.

"Hey, Sydney?" she called. "Sit over there on the mats and wait for me, okay? I need about ten minutes with Elodie."

This was my opportunity. "Actually, I—"

"No, you don't. I know your schedule. And if something came up and you'd rather join me for dinner, we can do that instead."

In that moment, I think I hated her. "No," I said icily. "Ten minutes are fine." I awkwardly watched as Rose took Elodie through a series of stretches that ended with the dreaded foam roller. It didn't look that bad, to be honest. All she had to do was lay on her side on a tube of firm foam and propel her body back and forth using her forearms. The tube worked like a rolling pin on her upper leg. Watching Elodie's face as she tried to be tough, I decided I must be underestimating its potential.

Besides, I was the one who was shaking at the thought of eating a cookie. I hate sugar anyway. Always have, always will. I wasn't allowed to have it as a child. My older sister Carly fell in love with chocolate cake in the cafeteria when she went away to college. She was still far from overweight, but I vowed to never lose control like that.

"I'd send you to get your knee wrapped or taped, but that wouldn't help much," Rose said to Elodie, helping her stand up. "Ice it tonight and I'll think of something else for you to do during practice tomorrow." Elodie actually returned Rose's smile. I was glad she could see that Rose does have a heart. I wished that the other humans could see it too.

Rose had a smile for me too. "Thanks for waiting, Sydney." She sat down next to me and pulled the cookie, wrapped in napkins, out of her gym bag. "Sydney, meet M&M cookie. They're the best kind. Like chocolate chip, but more exciting."

I rolled my eyes. Only Rose would get this excited about a brightly colored cookie that probably tasted the same as any other. I took the cookie bitterly and nibbled the corner.

"So I ran into Adrian earlier," Rose said brightly. "What did you do to him, Sage?"

I froze. "What do you mean?"

"I'm just kidding," she said. "He was just in a bad mood. It's probably nicotine withdrawal. I think he's trying to be sneaky with his cigarettes now that he's actually sort of a teacher. Teaching assistant, anyway. Eat up, if you're so concerned about being late to whatever thing you'll say you have to go to. How are you feeling after lunch today?"

I considered my answer carefully. "Fine," I said. It was an honest answer. Just a bit incomplete.

She studied me. "You're not fine. But you will be."