Hello! So, I apologize that this update took longer... At least in my mind it took longer.
Thanks to all those who followed, favourited, reviewed, and most importantly... READ! :D
Enjoy! c:
The young alchemist had sat himself down in the middle of the street, directly in the path of oncoming traffic.
"Edward...," I begged, "Please. Don't do this. Just get out of the street. You're going to get yourself killed."
I was on the sidewalk, yelling at the blonde. I tried looking for a break in the traffic, but so far there was none. He had isolated himself on the busy main street of Central. On his left side, there was a steady stream of traffic cruising along the street. On his right, another stream of cars matched the one to his left. Every few seconds, a car would swerve and narrowly avoid flattening him to his death.
"Edward Elric, as your commanding officer, I command you to get up off your ass and stop being so goddamn childish! Get back on the sidewalk this instant."
I was panicking. I couldn't help it, I knew that using my rank was low but he left me no other choice. I was helpless.
Naturally, Edward looked calm and collected. Of course he wasn't freaking out about the fact that his life could be over any second now.
…. I guess I should backtrack a little, and give this situation some meaning.
It had been a few weeks since Edward had come to live with me.
During those few weeks, he slowly began to cooperate more with his medication and, as a result, he genuinely seemed to be getting better. He hasn't cut since that night I found him in the bathroom. I know that for a fact, because the scars on his wrist now are healing and no new fresh ones have been found. Al and Winry were visiting regularly, as well as Riza, and together we all seemed to be helping Ed out of this. He laughed more, he smiled more, and he hasn't had a breakdown in 3 weeks. That's a record.
As a result of all this, he's been allowed back to work. Ed isn't allowed out of the city to do anything, so all of his reports are on things happening around Central. He isn't too pleased with this.
… I never did find out what it was that he tried to ask me that one night all those weeks ago. Maybe he was telling the truth - maybe it truly wasn't important. Maybe, it doesn't matter now. Either option is fairly positive... I guess.
Today, Ed was asked to go look into a local bakery which has been getting some complaints about food poisoning and vermin. He didn't take to this too well. In his predictable fit of rage, he had stormed out of my office muttering profanities.
It was good to see that he was still the same old Ed as he ever was.
But that's all background information in relation to the major thing.
Ed had been getting lazy with his reports, and so he either wrote down one sentence and handed it in, or he didn't hand it in at all. I had let the last couple slide, but if I allowed him to stop handing in reports like this I would be the one paying for it.
So when I asked him today to write up a report about that bakery, I didn't think it would take him too long or be too much to ask for.
A simple page describing the place and the condition. Not too difficult, especially for a young prodigy such as himself.
However... when I asked him, I did not expect his reaction at all.
First, he had blatantly stated "No."
I had given him a stern look, before repeating myself.
The alchemist gave me a deathly cold look.
"I said no."
"Fullmetal. I've let countless reports slide on your part. At least do this one."
"You said it yourself, earlier today. No one really cares about that bakery."
"It isn't about the bakery. It's about you doing your job, and if you don't hand in a report I'm going to have to answer for it. In case you've forgotten, you are of lower rank than me. Therefore, you cannot dispute this."
Ed's expression shifted slightly, into one that was more... panicked?
I sighed.
"I didn't think it would be this big of a deal. It's a simple report. Five minutes, that's all it will take. Can you please just do it already?"
Suddenly the blonde boy began to breakdown.
I stared at him, full of concern, my previous frustration gone.
"Full-… Edward, what's going on?"
Ed was now silently crying, the tears falling off his face as he tried to hide it from me.
He wiped at his eyes with his red sleeve, blinking furiously.
"I'm fine, Colonel. Just tired."
'Just tired'. He had been using that phrase a lot lately. Sometimes, I or someone else would catch him looking incredibly down, and when asked he would reply with 'I'm just tired', smile and walk away.
In the past situations, that was acceptable and believable reasoning.
However, it wasn't here. You don't just breakdown and cry because your commanding officer asked you to write a report.
I stood up from my desk and stopped in front of him.
Looking down at him, trying to read what was happening through his expression, I said,
"Come on, you really expect me to believe that?"
Ed wouldn't meet my eye.
Just then, Riza walked in.
"Colonel Mustang, we just received word..."
She trailed off when she noticed the situation in front of her.
Shutting the door behind her, she walked over to Ed and looked him in the eyes.
Riza didn't say anything, and took a seat on the couch next to where Ed and I were standing.
"Can... Can I ask what happened before all this?"
I told her what happened, starting with my request for a report and ending with her walking in.
Riza shared a look with me. I wasn't entirely sure what she was thinking, but judging by the look in her eyes, I had a feeling she didn't think it was anything serious with Ed.
Ed had wandered over to the window while I was talking to Riza.
She began talking to me in a hushed voice, so that Ed wouldn't hear.
"You sure? He didn't seem off before you asked for the report?"
"He seemed completely normal, nothing different than how he's been the past couple of weeks."
She nodded, a look of concentration on her face.
"Honestly... I think it's just one of those days. I mean, come on, he IS a teenager after all. Teenagers are moody - that's a fact. I don't think you need to worry too much about him. He's been absolutely fine the past couple weeks. If anything, I think he might miss the attention he's been getting. It's hard, to go from having everyone's attention all the time to going back to just being another normal person. He might be struggling dealing with that. I'm not saying he's attention-seeking, I'm just saying... There was a time when Al and Winry, even you and me, would constantly pay attention to him and always make the best effort to include him. Now that things are going back to normal, he might subconsciously miss that. Or... It could be a way to get back at you, for whatever reason he may have."
I turned to look at Ed, who apparently had heard everything Riza had just said.
"I'm not doing this for attention. In all honesty, I prefer it like this. When you guys were pestering me 24/7, I felt suffocated." Ed's tone was biting, and his eyes had gone cold. "But, just for the record, there's a very big difference between being okay and pretending to be okay."
"What... what do you mean?" I was honestly confused.
"I mean that just because someone can appear happy and normal, and perfectly alright, that isn't always the case. Sometimes it's better to pretend to be okay. That way, you don't bother people with your problems and you don't have to deal with people always prying into your life. It's a lot easier."
Riza sighed.
"What are you getting at, Edward?" She inquired.
"Hormones? You really think that that's all this is? Teenage hormones?" Ed stared at both of us incredulously for a moment before continuining. "But honestly - saying that I'm only feeling this way to get attention... You do realize that that isn't going to help anything, right? And saying that I'm doing all this to get back at you? You honestly think I'm that manipulative?"
Edwards voice was shaking. It was clear that he was struggling against crying.
"Edward... I'm sorry. You weren't meant to hear that..." Riza said softly.
"Right, cause that makes it all better. I wasn't meant to hear it, so it's okay that you said it anyways."
Riza opened her mouth to reply, but I cut her off with a look.
"Maybe it's best if the Lieutenant went to go check on the other subordinates."
She looked at me briefly, before taking her leave.
Once the door was shut, I turned towards Edward.
"What she said were her own thoughts, not mine."
"I know..."
I took a deep breath. He sure didn't make it easy to talk to him.
"Could... could you tell me what you were getting at though? With the whole 'pretending to be okay' thing?"
Ed looked at me for a moment, before lowering his eyes and barely voicing,
"You might think that I'm happy right now... But I'm not going to be okay."
"Wha-"
"Please. Don't ask what I mean by that. It's pretty damn obvious."
I sighed.
"Could you at least explain to me what happened, then? What made you breakdown like this?"
It was now Edwards turn to sigh in frustration.
"I don't know."
"Edward..."
"I honestly don't know."
I stared at him. How did that even make sense?
"I'm sorry, but that doesn't make any sense... Could you at least try to explain what happened? You were perfectly fine when you first came into my office, but once I brought up the report you suddenly changed..."
Ed was silent. He didn't respond.
"Is it because you don't want to write the report...?"
Ed scoffed.
"Sure. That's it. I'm crying and lashing out because I don't want to have to write a fucking report. Guess I am just one damn hormonal teenager who likes manipulating people's emotions for revenge."
Sarcasm was heavily laced throughout his tone.
"That's not what I was saying..."
"Oh? It wasn't? Is that why you just asked me, 'Is it because you don't to write the report'?"
"I'm sorry. I'm just trying to make sense of the situation here."
"Well, you're not going to. So can I go?"
"Are you going to write that report?"
I realized too late that I should not have just asked that question.
Ed glared at me, and as he slammed my office door shut behind him, I heard him mutter, 'Fuck you'.
I sat for a minute, trying to recollect my thoughts, before realizing that I shouldn't really let him be alone when he's in this state of mind.
Quickly, I got up and exited the office. Ed was already making his way down the street. It was late evening, the sun was setting. It would probably be dark in 10 minutes or so.
I caught up to the teenager, and put my hand on his shoulder, turning him back towards me.
He looked incredibly pissed off, yet he was also crying.
"Ed... Please just talk to me."
"I've tried that. You'll hear what I have to say, but you won't listen."
The frustration he was feeling was heard in his voice when he emphasized 'listen'.
"I promise I'll listen. I'll stop trying to come up with reasons about why what's happening is happening. If you say you don't know, then... I believe you. I have no other choice, if you say you don't know then I have to trust that you honestly don't know."
Ed let out a sarcastic, dark laugh.
"Sure, now that the suicidal teen wants to be alone, you suddenly start 'caring'."
I opened my mouth to reply, but found no words. I didn't know how to reply to that.
Suicidal? Obviously, he wasn't in the healthiest state of minds... but.. suicidal?
"Edward. Please. Can we at least go back home? I'm not saying we have to talk, or that I'll hover around you, I just want you back inside a building."
"Why? You don't trust my actions?" He asked, a sick tone of amusement in his voice.
As he said this, he began slowly backing into the street. He had his eyebrows raised, as if daring me to come after him.
I stood frozen to the spot.
"Edward, stop. Please."
He was now nearing where the busy cars were passing. I felt the panic rising in my throat.
"Edward, don't do this."
"Why? I'm not doing anything wrong. Just going for a little walk, is all. Just clearing my head." His tone was mocking, with a dark edge to it.
Suddenly, Ed turned around, and bolted through the moving vehicles. Car horns screeched as he ran in front of them, but he made it to the middle of the street, where the line separating the different flows of traffic lay. He turned back towards me, his expression neutral. Watching me, he slowly sat down on the painted line. Cars had to begin swerving around the boy. If one driver wasn't paying attention, if they didn't see him... He was done for.
Which brings me back to where we started.
I was on the sidewalk, yelling at the blonde. I tried looking for a break in the traffic, but so far there was none. He had isolated himself on the busy main street of Central. On his left side, there was a steady stream of traffic cruising along the street. On his right, another stream of cars matched the one to his left. Every few seconds, a car would swerve and narrowly avoid flattening him to his death.
"Edward Elric, as your commanding officer, I command you to get up off your ass and stop being so goddamn childish! Get back on the sidewalk this instant."
I was panicking. I couldn't help it, I knew that using my rank was low but he left me no other choice. I was helpless.
Naturally, Edward looked calm and collected. Of course he wasn't freaking out about the fact that his life could be over any second now.
"Goddammit, Edward!" I yelled.
Not even caring if there was a break in the traffic, I ran out into the street.
A car horn blared, and I had to slam my hands on the hood and jump, in order to avoid being flattened.
Right now, I wasn't fully aware of what I was doing. Instinct was kicking in. I reached the boy, and against much resistance, I flung him over my shoulder and ran back the way I came.
Safely on the sidewalk, I set Edward down and sat beside him, trying to steady my breathing and calm my racing heart.
"Don't. You. Ever. Do. That. Again." I said through gritted teeth.
Ed remained in the calm coolness he had retained for that past 10 minutes.
He didn't say anything. Not trusting him to walk on his own again, I flung him over my shoulder and walked back to the military buildings and reached my car.
I practically threw the small boy into the passenger seat, and slammed the door shut.
It was then that Ed had lost his calm coolness. His eyes had widened in fear, and he now looked upset as I got into the driver seat. We drove in silence, and we reached the house in record timing.
Ed quickly got out and made his way to the front door. I followed, unlocked the door, and soon he was inside and reading on the floor of the library before I took my coat off.
My anger at his recklessness was dying down, and now I was worried. No teenager does what he just did, even if they're depressed. Especially because that all resulted from my asking for a report. I stared at him for a moment, before making my way upstairs. I originally had planned on going to my room to change out of my uniform, but instead I found myself going into Ed's room. For the most part, it was fairly clean apart from the unmade bed and the mess of books on the desk. I walked over to the desk and began looking through the items - for what, I'm not too sure. Finding nothing, I opened the drawers and they were all empty. Going over to the bedside table, I checked that drawer as well. Also empty. Honestly, I didn't know what I was expecting to find. I just expected to find something - anything, that might explain his behaviour. Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair and looked around the room. There wasn't really any other places to hide anything.
I left his room and continued to my room to change out of my uniform and into some more comfortable sweatpants.
I then headed downstairs to make dinner, only... Ed wasn't on the floor in the library now. I checked the kitchen, and then the living room. He wasn't upstairs, I just came from there... I glanced by the door. He hadn't taken off his shoes or his coat when he had come in... I leaned against the entrance hall wall, and let my head thud against the wall.
He was gone.
Alriggghttyy... so this chapter took an unexpected turn, even for me. XD
Either way, I hope you guys liked it! I'd love to know your thoughts on it c:
And thanks to those who were... well, people who told me things like "get well soon" and shtuff. :3 I'm not 100% better, but I'm well enough to keep writing without feeling like my head is going to implode :D
(The update took longer because I was focusing on just posting the last couple chapters of my other story, which is now finished! yay! ish.)
Aaaanywhos, thanks for reading and
OH MY GOD I NEARLY FORGOT THAT I FREAKED OUT OVER THIS STORY BEING ADDED TO ANOOOOOTHER COMMUNITY LIKE WUT
Review! c:
-HazelEyes8D