Chapter 19:
Rating: M
Disclaimer: I do not know any of the workers of the WWE personally nor am I affiliated with them in any way. This story is a work of fiction and I make no profit whatsoever from it.
Seth tried to ignore that feeling of dread, that feeling of being used like some sort of common whore as he drove home. He was almost at the house he shared with his loving boyfriend and he almost wished he was further away. He knew it was stupid to think that maybe there was something more than the obvious attraction between him and Dean but the way that the other man acted towards him, hell, the way that Dean looked at him made him think that maybe Dean felt something more. He knew he was deadly wrong when Nikki came home and ruined their moment together.
He wasn't paying attention as he pulled into his driveway, almost hitting the car that wasn't supposed to be home for a few hours yet. He felt his heart pounding hard in his chest. He pulled the car into his usual spot and slid the transmission into park. He glanced down at himself and saw the pair of Dean's shorts that he was wearing. They were black with white pinstripes through them. They looked baggy and definitely not like something he'd wear. He knew he probably smelt like sex too.
He unclasped his seat belt and frantically searched through his car for his can of deodorant that he sometimes kept in there. He let out a sigh of relief when he found that can rolled underneath his driver's seat. He opened up his door and stepped out into the warmth outside before he doused himself in the very masculine smelling deodorant. He coughed a few times, the smell slipping right into his mouth before he threw the can back into his car and made his way towards his house.
He took another long, drawn out breath before his hand closed around the door knob. He twisted the door knob to the right and pushed the heavy wooden door open. He stepped inside of the large house, a satisfied smile growing on his lips when he felt the cool breeze of the air-conditioning wash over him. He promptly closed the door behind him, the sound of the latch catching causing his breath to stop in his throat. His ears craned to make sure that he would be able to hear where his boyfriend was.
He could hear the sound of the television coming from the living room and he took a deep breath before he walked down the hallway and into the room where he knew he would find Roman. He walked into the living room and found the older man who was sprawled out on their three seater couch with his laptop placed firmly on his lap. He stepped into the room, the floorboard creaking at the exact same spot which made Roman lift his gaze from the 10-inch screen and look up at him.
"Hey." Seth said quietly. He stepped into the room and sat down on the adjoining arm chair.
"Hey." Roman said warily. "Where have you been?"
"I've been out running errands this morning." Seth answered. His gaze was fixed on the television in front of him, his brown eyes refusing to meet Roman's. "How come you're home? I thought you were working all day today."
Roman shrugged. Not that it mattered since Seth wasn't even looking over at him. He tried to ignore how that made him feel. "I only had to go in for a conference call today." He answered. It was only then that he realized just what Seth was wearing. The knee length, black shorts with white pinstripes in them looked bizarre on the other man who normally only ever wore skin tight pants. "Where did you get those pants from?"
Seth finally looked over at Roman, his brown eyes slightly wider although he tried to remain composed. He shrugged as if it meant nothing. "I found them in my drawer. I haven't worn them in a while so I thought that I'd break them out."
"Right." Roman gave him another odd look. Seth was behaving quite strangely. "Well, anyway. I've been thinking that since it's our anniversary next weekend that maybe we could spend it at one of the big hotel's down on the beach?"
"For the whole weekend?" Seth asked curiously. He couldn't deny that the thought of spending that time with Roman made him happy and yet anxious at the same time. He wished that it could be Dean that he was spending that time with. It made him feel like a piece of shit for still being with Roman when he knew that his heart was telling him that he was falling for Dean. The thought of that terrified him to no end, the way that his heart thumped hard against his chest every time he even thought of the older man that wasn't his boyfriend.
Roman turned his attention back to his laptop. "Probably only the one night judging by the prices."
"Well, I don't want you to spend too much money on me." Seth said quietly. His guilt was seeping in. He glanced over and locked his gaze with Roman's, their brown and grey orbs locking for the briefest of moments. He had to tear his gaze away. He was terrified that Roman would be able to see the guilt in his eyes, that his boyfriend would be able to see right through his soul and see the truth. He was absolutely terrified of losing Roman and yet he couldn't stop what he was doing with Dean. "I'm just going to have a shower. But a night at one of those hotels sounds great."
Roman watched Seth get up and leave the room. He couldn't help but feel the slight disconnect between them. He was hoping that by doing this grand gesture, it may put that spark back in their relationship. Connecticut had reignited some of their spark but not all of it. It didn't help that Nikki's voice had been right in his ear, whispering his darkest fears that he didn't even want to dare were true.
He knew he was being delusional. He knew he was being stupid. But that didn't make him stop loving Seth. Seth was the first one he'd truly allowed to be inside of his heart and give his all to. Seth was the one that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and he'd be damned if he didn't fight to the end to try and keep him.
Seth was just finishing packing his small black suitcase that held his and Roman's belongings for their overnight stay when he heard his phone going off. He placed their small wash bag filled with their toiletries on top of their clothes and zipped up the hard suitcase before he stood up and walked over to their bed where his phone was sitting on the bedside table.
He clicked the circle button down the bottom of his phone and unlocked the electronic device, scrolling through his phone until he reached the messages. He felt his breath catch in his throat when he saw that the message was from Dean. He clicked on their conversation and felt his whole world stop as he read the message.
'I wish you were spending tonight with me'
"That's not fair." Seth murmured. He glanced around the room to double check that he was alone, even though he knew that Roman was downstairs somewhere. He promptly typed back a response with a sly grin on his face. 'Well maybe you should have asked me ;)'
Seth knew that he should have felt worse for texting Dean on his and Roman's anniversary but he didn't. He still couldn't get past that addictive part of Dean. He still couldn't work out a way to ignore it. It made him feel pathetic knowing how much of a hold Dean had over him with no promise of an ever after. In fact, Dean had alluded to him that what was between them was never going to go past physical even though the older man showed signs of having the affection that Seth was beginning to feel towards him.
He was still heavily conflicted on what it was that he was going to regarding Roman. He loved Roman, there was no doubt in his mind about that but there was a nagging voice in the back of his mind that was telling him to pursue Dean properly. It was telling him to leave Roman and put everything out on the line for Dean to take it if he so chose to. But he didn't know if that was worth the risk in the end. He would lose so much if he and Roman split up that he wasn't just about to throw away for a chance at someone else.
"Are you almost ready to go Seth?" Roman's voice cut through Seth's thoughts. He glanced over at Seth who looked like he'd been daydreaming. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, yeah." Seth dismissed him with his hand. "I was just thinking is all."
"All good, I hope?" Roman asked, giving him a curious look as he bent down and picked up their suitcase.
Seth slid his phone into his back pocket, ignoring the sound of it going off, alerting him to another message. He pulled a large, slightly nervous looking smile at his boyfriend who was watching him carefully. "I was only thinking about the store. It's pretty warm outside, hopefully its still busy in there."
Roman's concerned face softened slightly. "The store will be fine without you for two days. C'mon. Let's get going." He said as he carried the smallish suitcase out of their bedroom and towards their staircase.
"I know." Seth smiled as he followed Roman out of the room. He tried to stay focused on Roman in front of him, ignoring the feeling of his phone heavily resting in his back pocket.
Roman led the way out of their house, feeling the gaze of Seth burning into the back of his head as he opened up the front door and stepped outside into the warm Pensacola air. It was almost hard to believe that it was still so warm outside even though they were well into Autumn now. He heard the front door to their home shut behind him while he continued walking towards his car.
He placed the suitcase on the cement ground while he pulled his set of keys out from his jean pocket. He clicked the button once, his expensive Black Mercedes beeping to alert him that it was now unlocked. He popped the boot at the same time he heard the passenger door open and he half watched Seth slide in. He put the suitcase into the boot and closed the door carefully before he walked around to his side of the car.
He opened his door and slid into the driver's seat. He glanced over at Seth who was typing a message on his phone. "Who are you texting?" He asked abruptly as he started up the car and began to reverse out of the driveway.
Seth froze momentarily, trying to think of someone that he would legitimately be texting to at a time like this. "It was just Phil. A few last minute instructions for the shop, that's all."
Roman gave him a skeptical look as he continued the short drive to the hotel they would be spending tonight in. It was only a short, maybe fifteen minute drive to the hotel that was right on the beach front but that didn't stop Seth from having his hands glued to his phone. His mind was obviously still elsewhere and he honestly didn't know why the hell he wasn't saying anything. This was bothering him to no end and yet he was sitting there, hands clutched tightly around the steering wheel while he let Seth get away with whatever he was doing. He knew deep down that it wasn't Phil that he was texting.
He glanced over at his boyfriend when they stopped at a red light. Seth had his eyes glued to his phone screen, a coy grin on his lips as his fingers continued tapping against the screen. He knew that Seth definitely wasn't messaging Phil. The look that Seth had in his eyes as he typed away was one he'd seen many times when he and his boyfriend had locked gazes. That realization only irked him further, causing his stomach to do back flips.
"You know, you could talk to me instead of Phil." Roman pointed out. He felt Seth's gaze on him as he looked back to the road, his foot pushing down on the accelerator as the light changed to green. "It's just a suggestion since it's our anniversary."
"Sorry Roman." Seth said quietly. "I'm just in the middle of something with him. Once we get to to the hotel, I'll stop."
Roman rolled his eyes. That wasn't exactly what he'd been hoping for when he'd brought it up with Seth but he'd take it for now. He was way too lenient when it came to Seth. His younger boyfriend could get away with just about anything and he would just sit back and take it. He inwardly groaned, hoping that this romantic gesture he'd shelled out the amount for would pay off and make their relationship strong once more.
The rest of the car ride was silent, with only the sound of the radio playing in the background. Roman's hands gripped tightly at the steering wheel as he continued glancing over to see Seth still tapping away at his phone screen. He groaned out loud that time, ignoring the concerned look that Seth shot his way while he tried to concentrate on pulling into the hotels parking lot. He felt Seth's gaze on him the entire time he was trying to find a car park right out the front of the large, beige coloured building with the red words of 'Hilton' on the front of the hotel.
He slid the car into park once he'd gotten a decent parking spot right near the front entrance. He killed the ignition, not reacting even in the slightest when Seth shot him an exasperated look. He closed the door and made his way to the trunk of the car, murmuring a "You ignore me, I'll ignore you."
He popped the trunk and lifted their suitcase out of the large boot of his beloved car. He placed the suitcase on the hot ground before he closed the trunk. He glanced over at where Seth was now standing, arms folded tightly across his chest with a scowl on his face. "What?"
"Are you going to ignore me?" Seth snapped at him, closing the distance between them and stomping right on over to where Roman was standing. "What's got you so upset that you're groaning in the car?"
Roman glanced down to see that Seth had his phone in his hand. "You know the answer to that."
Seth rolled his eyes. "All of this over a stupid conversation I was having on the car ride over?! How fucking petty do you want to be?!"
Roman took a deep breath to calm himself down. He leaned in closer to Seth and grabbed a hold of his boyfriend's forearm. "You need to fucking calm down and not make a scene. I'm the one who has the right to be upset, not you, so shut up."
He let go of Seth's forearm and instead clicked the button on his keys to lock up his expensive car. He carried the suitcase a few steps ahead of Seth who slowly but surely followed behind him. He walked into the reception area, the foyer neutrally coloured except for behind the desk which had big, thick stripes of blue, green and brown across it. The whole hotel had a beachy feel to it that was not surprising since their hotel backed right onto the beach.
Roman walked up to the reception desk where there was a pretty redhead behind the desk. He smiled back at her while she sorted their room. He hoped that the rest of their stay would be better than how it had started.
To say that Roman was furious when he returned back to the room after what was supposed to be a romantic dinner was an understatement. He stormed through the room, not caring whether Seth would be able to get in or not. He just didn't care right now. The entire time that they were downstairs in the hotel's restaurant, every single chance he got, Seth was on his phone. He'd tried to remain civil about it whilst they were out in public but right now he couldn't give two shits. He was so done right now.
He sat down on the edge of the bed and folded his arms tightly across his chest. His grey eyes narrowed while he watched Seth slowly approaching where he was on the bed. He groaned loudly, the sound coming out more like a growl. He watched the way that Seth flinched and only the smallest part of him felt bad for his boyfriend. "Am I really that fucking boring that you have to be on your phone when you're with me?"
Seth's brown eyes widened, panicked. "No, it's-"
"Shut up." Roman snapped. "I'm sick of you telling me that you're in the middle of a conversation with Phil or whoever the fuck you want to pretend that you're talking to because at the end of the day, it's fucking rude to ignore someone like that. It honestly makes me feel like you're sick of me. Is that it Seth? You sick of me? You got the six year itch?"
Seth shook his head, his eyes still wide. "No. Roman, it's not like that."
"Then what the fuck is it Seth?" Roman snapped. His tone was a lot sharper than he intended it to be. "I haven't been on my phone at all today but yours is glued to your god damn hands."
"I didn't think you'd be so upset over it." Seth answered quickly, terrified to poke the beast any further.
"Well, would you be upset if I spent the entire time we've been here texting some random person that you won't even tell me who it really is?" Roman asked. He watched Seth open his mouth to respond but Roman beat him to it. "You'd be pretty fucking upset Seth. I know you and you'd be bitching me out ten times worse than this."
"What do you want me to fucking do Roman?" Seth threw his hands up in the air, exasperated. "Do you want me to tell you I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings? Because I am sorry that I did that."
Roman rolled his eyes. "I want you to answer one question for me."
Seth's brow creased, his heart racing hard in his chest. He knew that this moment was a big one and he almost terrified of what the question would be. "Okay. What is it?"
Roman took a deep breath before he spoke, everything balancing on this one question. He didn't want to ask it but he had to know. He had to know the truth. "Are you sure that you still want this? Are you absolutely sure that you still want to be with me?"
TBC
A/N: I do apologize about the lateness in the update but I just want to assure you guys that I will not be abandoning this story. My updates through December; while I will try to still update weekly, that may not be possible due to my nature of work and spare time ratios but I will definitely update fortnightly. Thank you to everyone for reading and reviewing! I can hardly believe that I'm already sitting on 200 reviews! You guys are great! Love to hear your thoughts on this chapter and I'll duck the stones that are coming my way for leaving this chapter on a cliffhanger. Thanks again! GatesVengeance x