Chapter 10: Above the Rules

I don't know why I became the official detention supervisor. Maybe it's karma, maybe it's new-teaching hazing, or maybe I'm just always in the wrong place at the wrong time. After all, I do have a knack for that. At least Savannah's detention, which I now regret giving her at all, was made much less awkward by the presence of several other students. Kirova caught me in the hallway on the way to my Theory class.

"Good morning, Rose. Can you do me a favor?" she asked brusquely.

I had a pounding headache and was in no mood for this, but there was only one correct answer. "Sure. What do you need?"

She handed me a list. "These are all of the students in detention this week. None of the instructors who gave them the detentions had any work for them to do, so I figured it would be easiest if you took all of them. I understand that Savannah Conta is yours, although I question whether or not she needs to serve an entire week for littering."

That makes two of us. "If you would like to decrease the punishment, I understand," I offered. "Maybe I was a little harsh. I noticed other students leaving trash on the tables and wanted to make an example out of her." Rose, you don't make an example out of royal Moroi, I realized immediately afterwards.

But Kirova waved her hand. "No, no, a week is fine. Whatever task you had in mind for her, I trust that you can make it work for 7 students. Thanks, Rose. Have a good day!"

I stared at her retreating back, shooting daggers with my eyes. She was right about one thing, though—I could use more hands. Savannah was set to do some deep cleaning in the guardian gym, and the more little rule-breakers I had working for me, the cleaner it could be. Still, I was glad this detention was only one hour long. Final exams started in one week, and the stress was getting to everyone. I couldn't wait for Christmas.

I skimmed the list. The youngest student was in seventh grade and the oldest were seniors. Romilly Evans—chronic tardiness, 2 days. Nathaniel Dane and Francesca Augustini—public display of affection, 4 days. And then—I blinked at the paper multiple times—Jillian Mastrano, smoking, 14 days.

Jailbait? Smoking? I could hardly wait to go back to guest housing during my free period that afternoon. I had a good idea of who was responsible for this.

I pounded on the door. "Adrian!" I yelled. "Open up!"

"Why, good morning, Little Dhampir," he said. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"It's afternoon," I corrected, pushing my way into his suite. "Don't you have work today or something?"

"Not for another hour. I already taught my morning classes. Plenty of time for a nap, until you interrupted it. You're lucky you're so charming," he said smoothly. Sure enough, he was wearing plaid pajama pants and an old t-shirt. The couch was half-covered by a fleece blanket and most of the pillows were on the floor. "Plus, it always feels like morning on Adrian Ivashkov time. Except for when it doesn't."

"I have no idea what that means and I don't really care. What the hell did you do to Jill?"

He cringed. "Ah. You found out. Yes, that was ill-advised on my part. She was having a bad day, which was my fault. Spirit darkness, you know. She can usually block it out, but not always. So she wanted a puff of my cigarette. To take the edge off, you know."

"I don't care what she wanted! Jill smokes now? I thought you cared about her!"

"Relax, Little Dhampir. You know I do care about her. I just wanted her to feel better, and my judgment may have been just a little bit impaired at the time. We were behind the dorms, but one of the guardians happened to be patrolling. Luck never did favor Adrian Ivashkov."

"Luck? You're lucky if I don't punch your pretty face today. Why didn't you get in trouble too? And why didn't you use compulsion on the guardian who caught her?"

He laughed. "Oh, now you're okay with breaking the rules again? I'm practically a teacher, Rose. I just pretended that I happened to have caught her at the same time the guardian did and was already about to write her up. I'm sure he didn't believe me, because he wrote the detention himself, but he couldn't prove anything. The cigarette was in her hand, not mine. As for compulsion, well, my powers might have been impaired along with my judgment."

I groaned.

"Cheer up," he said. "Jailbait is fine. It's just one detention. Or fourteen. But she's with you! Go easy on our little rebel, okay? And she hated smoking anyway. She was just curious. Isn't it better for kids to try these things in a controlled environment, supervised by responsible adults such as ourselves?"

"You are unbelievable. Your 'above the rules' days are over, Adrian. Get your shit together. I don't care what you do to yourself"—he looked surprisingly hurt at that—"but don't drag Jill into your little web of misery and self-destruction." I turned on my heel and left him staring after me.

Detention was not nearly as awkward as I had expected it to be, but I dreaded the end of the week, when it would be just me, Jill, Savannah, and one guy. By Wednesday, I was already thoroughly fed up with everyone in my life. Winter break could not come fast enough. I couldn't wait to go to Court and spend my days getting massages with Lissa, ordering room service complete with fancy drinks, and spending time with Dimitri. Hell, I even missed Christian Ozera. As usual, the world—or Kirova—had other plans for me. Dimitri got an earful that night during our phone conversation.

"How I was supposed to know that I had to request days off for winter break? I think that she purposely didn't tell me so I would be stuck here. I don't even know what I ever did to her. Not during my time as a teacher, anyway," I huffed.

"Yes, Roza, everything is a conspiracy to ruin your life." Dimitri sounded amused by this. How rude. "It has nothing to do with the fact that they need guardians there for the students who can't go home during break."

"Whatever. Will you come visit?"

"Yes, of course."

"Good. I hope Lissa can too. And I hope Kirova knows this is not okay with me."

I could hear a smile in his voice. "I'm sure you made that clear."

"You know what would help me get my point across?" I asked. "Russian swear words. Are you ever going to teach me any?"

"Someday, Roza. Someday. In the meantime, want to learn some other new words? Maybe what you are to me?"

I waited, not sure where he was going with this.

"чувственный—sexy. cтрастный—passionate. And what I want to do with you when I visit?" I think he said a complete sentence, but he could have told me anything and I wouldn't have understood a single word.

"Oh yeah? What does that mean?"

"You'll just have to wait and see, won't you?" He slipped into dirty talk, this time all in English so I could respond. I felt my body start to respond too. The man sure does know how to make me feel better.

His visit was wonderful, but short-lived. He was needed at Court during Christmas because there were so many visitors. On the last day of final exams, I secretly let Jill skip her detention so she could get back to Court. Jill, her mom, and her stepdad all got free plane tickets so they could safely spend the holiday together inside the wards. Being the Dragomir princess certainly had a few advantages. Being Queen, however, came with a price as usual. Lissa couldn't visit me. She just had too many obligations, mostly stuff like holiday parties that she didn't really want to attend anyway. When she broke the news, I could have really used some Russian swear words.

My winter break duties mostly consisted of patrolling the grounds and busting dorm parties. Polina was still at school, of course. She hadn't left the Academy in years because she had nowhere to go. I wanted to take her off-campus just for ice cream or something. She was still avoiding me, no doubt horrified by how vulnerable she had allowed herself to be with me during our conversation. I saw her in the gym every day, but I don't know what she did after hours. She wasn't at any of the parties I busted.

One of those parties, an extravagant one in an upperclassman Moroi dorm, was truly impressive. In my write-up, I made it sound like it was just a bunch of kids sitting around drinking beer. Judging by the insanely dilated pupils on many of them, I think they had a white Christmas in a way that had nothing to do with the deep Montana snow outside. Although I stayed away from drugs myself, I knew what it was like to have no family who cared about you enough to raise you themselves. These kids had been tossed aside and many of them were given a lot of money. They reminded me of Adrian, in a way. As long as it didn't become a habit, I was not about to judge them for their party favors.

Adrian, too, was being particularly Adrian that week. I ate an awkward Christmas Eve dinner with him and Sydney, wishing with all of my heart that Dimitri, Lissa, or even Jill were there to break the tension. Adrian was hammered by 5:00, and I wasn't far behind. Sydney picked at her turkey and mashed potatoes, mostly pushing them around the plate and nibbling on a pile of steamed vegetables. Mine and Adrian's moods flew around. We went from legitimately fighting over the best pieces of meat to joyously toasting everything we could think of.

"To the snow that falls softly on the pines of Montana, enveloping our fair school in a blanket of innocence to protect us from the harsh realities of 21st-century urban decay!"

Shit like that sure sounds profound when you're drunk. I couldn't top it. "To vodka! It's clear, bringing clarity to… life!"

"To the abundant feast spread before us, with its succulent meats and savory sides and sweet nectar of the gods!"

"To a new year!" I shouted.

"And a new you!" he responded. "And a new me, and a new Sydney! A whole new world!" We linked arms and drained our champagne flutes. God, were we hot messes. I hoped we wouldn't share another bonding experience hanging over a toilet later. Sure enough, Christmas Day was the worst holiday of my life. Adrian and I couldn't even bring ourselves to thank each other for our presents—scotch for him, Grey Goose vodka for me. We smiled grimly at each other and set them aside for a time when we could stomach the thought of alcohol again.

By New Year's Eve, I was ready for a social life again—not a wild party, seeing as I had gotten stuck with security duty yet again, just some time with my friends. I knocked on Sydney's door and was surprised that she didn't answer. Maybe she was taking a nap, I decided, and went to Adrian's door.

When he opened it, he was wearing loose pajama pants again and no shirt. "Do you ever wear clothes anymore?" I asked, brushing him aside and walking into his living room before he could invite me in. "Do you have any snacks? I'm starving." I knew his mini-fridge was in his bedroom. I strolled in, opening the door just as he yelled for me to wait.

I thought my life couldn't get more awkward than when I walked in on Polina and Savannah in the cabin, but I was wrong. Laying in Adrian's bed, with the covers pulled up to her shoulders, was Sydney Sage.

"Seriously?" I exclaimed. "Are you two going to explain yourselves?"

"If you learned to knock before opening doors instead of after, there would be no need to explain," Adrian said dryly. Guiltily, I thought back to the afternoon in Clarence's house when Jill did the same thing to me and Dimitri. I guess I'm part of the problem.

"We've never had sex! Not yet, anyway," exclaimed Sydney. Adrian's face brightened at the word "yet."

"I don't really need details, thanks," I said, burying my head in my hands. "So are you guys like… together?"

They looked at each other. "More or less," Sydney answered.

I considered this. A Moroi and a human. Huh. Well, I wasn't one to judge taboo relationships. Theirs wasn't much different than mine and Dimitri's, really. "Are you happy?"

They beamed. "Very," said Adrian.

"Well, alright then. I'll come back later. Or just come find me. Preferably when you're wearing clothes."

A weight seemed to have been lifted off their backs, and now I understood how Adrian and I could be friends. He really is over me, I mused, as he kissed Sydney at midnight. I wished we could all stay this way forever—happy, at peace, and excited for a fresh start.

I was in for a rude awakening on the very first day back at school. I knew that it would be a rough morning. No matter how many times I told my students that they needed to work out during break and stay in shape, I suspected that hardly anyone had. Sydney was in the gym every day even though I didn't want her to be, and Polina had put in quite a few hours too. But most of the human novices were showing signs of being out of shape already.

"You call this a workout?" I barked at Anna Lindholm, who was falling back into her old pattern of slacking off. She looked like she hated me more than usual, which was saying a lot, but she picked up the pace a bit. I almost felt bad about sending them out to run laps when it was 5 degrees outside. Almost.

For the most part, they were doing alright. Polina, looking sleek in all black thermal running gear, was well matched with Zach. I was pleased to see them pacing each other. Elodie was only about half a lap behind them, wearing a ridiculous but adorable winter hat with a pom-pom sitting on the top. I think Sydney was wearing about ten sweatshirts. She was clearly trying her hardest to catch up with Polina and Zach, but she just couldn't quite get there. Something about watching her made me uneasy. I held out my stopwatch, preparing for the leaders to finish. Normally, I would make them wait on the track for everyone else to finish, but it was just so cold. I sent them inside.

Something in Sydney's face didn't look right. She seemed to be shuffling her feet, with none of her usual grace. She wasn't far from the finish line when I saw her eyes start to blink for slightly too long. I leapt in front of her and caught her shoulders as she started to fall into me.

I tried to stay calm for her sake. She was conscious, but I didn't trust her to stand on her own. The bitter, cold wind whipped at my face. I couldn't just set Sydney down on the grass, which covered with a coat of snow. "Sydney? Sydney!" I yelled, hoping to keep her alert.

She mumbled something that sounded vaguely like "I'm fine". I scooped her up and ran for the door, not knowing or caring where Elodie and Anna were. She was even lighter than I had expected. "Shit," I whispered. I laid her down on a mat in the gym, elevating her legs. Polina handed me a cup of water, then I sent her and Zach away, not wanting to freak Sydney out or embarrass her when she came around again. I sat on the floor with her, stroking her hair and talking softly. I didn't tell her that I couldn't understand anything she was saying.

"Does anyone have food? Juice? Anything with sugar?" I yelled to the other four. They just stared at me, wide-eyed. Damn. This is why I should carry snacks all the time. "I'll take that as a no. Alright, practice is cancelled. I'll see you tomorrow." None of them moved. "You can go now. Really. She'll be fine. And I don't want to hear about any rumors. This stays between us."

After another minute or so, I decided that Sydney wasn't going to be able to safely walk to the med clinic without help. I said a silent prayer of thanks to whoever may be listening that school didn't start for another hour and a half. She didn't have to worry about the entire campus seeing her stumble around, leaning heavily on my shoulder. Dr. Olendzki was filling out paperwork at the front desk when I burst through the door, half-carrying Sydney.

"Rose?" asked the doctor.

"Sydney Sage. Human. Passed out while running. Needs food." I was out of breath from bearing my own weight and most of hers all the way from the gym to the clinic.

Dr. Olendzki took my word for it and didn't ask questions yet. Sydney was starting to look distressed, and her skin was cold and clammy. She tried to push herself up and roll off the bed. I sat on the edge of the bed and put an arm around her, trying to lift her head and coax her into drinking a cup of orange juice, but she kept swatting my hand away. I saw a single tear roll down her cheek. I was both sad and incredibly frustrated. I hate feeling helpless.

"Remember what I said about bravery?" I snapped. "I don't know what's going through your mind right now. I've never been where you are, and watching you is scaring the fuck out of me, to be honest. I just know you're in hell and that I can't pull you out of it. You need to do this yourself, Sydney. I can't train you on this. You just need to fight through it. Will you do that? Will you fight?"

She closed her eyes tightly and shook her head no. Several seconds later, she opened her eyes and reached toward the cup. I helped her shaky hand hold it to her lips. With steely resolve, she downed the entire cup. Dr. Olendzki tossed me a package of peanut butter crackers, and Sydney ate all six of them, tears running down her face the entire time. The glazed look in her eyes was slowly disappearing.

"You did great," I told her when she was done. I tried to hug her, but she pushed me away angrily and curled up in a ball on her side, lost in her own little world.

Author's Note: Thanks for the new reviews! I would like to see more of Jill in this story too, but I just can't fit every character into it without it being too chaotic. Eddie, for example, is one of my favorite characters. There will be more Rose/Dimitri time and more Sydney/Adrian time in the near future. Plenty of Rose and Adrian too. I just love those two and their clashing personalities that made for an unfortunate romantic relationship and a hilarious friendship. Their conversations in Shadow Kiss are the best. Alright, that's enough rambling from me. Time to go work on chapter 11. Please keep reviewing! It means a lot to me, and I do take them into account as I'm writing!