AN: Hello people of the internet. 10,000 fucking words. Over 10,000. That is 3x longer than my longest chapter of ROTNG. I hope you guys are ready, because I wasn't lying when I said this is where shit gets real. I pretty much tried to forget the last two chapters ever happened as much as I could. I was kind of irritated with Dusty for not putting more of an emphasis on the death she had. Oh well. There is a reason why. I put a little more focus on a certain battle. That is just how I roll. That being said, I hope you enjoy my chapter.
As the last of the horny trainers fell in battle, I looked across my team with pride. They had proved themselves worthy of being alive. Muddbutt the Mudkip, Olivia the Ralts, Icarus the Wingull, and Notica the Silcoon all leveled up significantly. We were sitting down for lunch, chomping down on berries. Olivia looked like she wanted to say something.
"What is it Olivia?" I asked her. She looked down at the Oran berry she was holding, then back up at me.
"R-ralts," she said. For some act of Arceus (Which I still don't understand) I can understand my Pokemon, but no one else's. Instead of telling you what they said, I will tell you as I understand it instead. She said:
"I-I can't believe we beat them all." Muddbutt looked up at her from his Pecha berry.
"Believe it!" And all the Naruto nerds groaned in agony. "Master is the best Master ever, and we will never lose!" Olivia blushed, showing her modest nature clearly.
"O-okay." She bobbed her head up and down, green hair waving in the slight wind.
The small ball of thread to the side of me, her Cheri berry untouched, spoke from within the confines of her shell.
"You all are idiots." she claimed, her droll voice visibly grating on Icarus' nerves as he chewed his berry with sudden ferocity.
"Hey! That isn't very nice!" Muddbutt headbutted the cocoon lightly.
"Notica is just jealous because she is useless," Icarus confided loudly to Olivia.
"What did you say? Say that again, I dare you."
"What are you going to do? Harden on me?"
"I have lots of uses!"
"Like?"
"Well..."
"HA!" Icarus crowed. "You can't think of anything!" I decided to break this up before it got violent.
"That's enough you two." I told them. Icarus landed on my shoulder, his favorite perch.
"Boss " he said, peering around at my face. "Why do we keep her around? She is useless and brings us down."
I smiled at him, and answered in the standard way I had answered it many times before.
"I believe every pokemon I catch has a purpose," I relayed to him, stroking his tiny head with one finger. "From the largest Tyranitar, to the smallest Magikarp." Muddbutt looked up at me in awe.
"That was so beautiful, Master!" he said. Olivia bobbed her head up and down a few more times.
"Yeah!" she agreed, then blushed when she realized she had said something.
"Eh, I guess I'll trust you boss." I checked the time. It was past time to leave.
"Time for us to leave, guys! Lunch break is over! Return!" Three lights dispersed three pokemon from the shores of the lake. Icarus resisted the call to nestle contentedly into the crook of my neck.
"Boss, how are the others going to react when they realize we're all level fifteen?" Icarus whispered in my ear. I smiled, and gently took him off my shoulder so he stood on my outstretched hand.
"Not all of us," I reminded him.
"Oops." He shifted from one foot to the other, preening his wings. "I forgot about miss level eight in there." He gestured at Notica's pokeball.
"Don't let her hear you say that," I chided him. "She may murder you."
"She's going to have to catch me first!" He laughed. "Oh, wait she doesn't have wings!"
"Get back in the Pokeball," I said firmly.
"Oh, alright." He spat a feather onto the ground. "But I don't like it."
I surveyed the carnage I had left behind. A pair of twins were mourning the loss of their Seedot, and another was unwrapping Zigzagoon intestines from a tree. This was a side to a Nuzlocke you never saw; how the other trainers' Pokemon ended up. They ended up as dead as yours. I shook my head, and walked into Rustboro city.
When I entered the crowded, bustling city, I looked around for the familiar faces of my partners.
"Dusty!" I called. "Thoaria!"
I looked down at the short Asian walking towards me with the impish grin that so easily found her face. She raised a hand as if she were telling me a secret.
"Thoaria is out of commision." She confided. "She, uh, you don't want to know." She gave me a big smile that made me suspect some sort of foul play.
"Don't I?" I mused, and the smile left her face to be replaced by a shady, nervous, lopsided grin. It was back a moment later.
"So!" She clapped her hands together once, spinning around. "What do we even do? I mean, there is a Gym, and the Tunnel coming up."
"What level are your Pokemon?" I asked her, hands clasped behind my back.
"Why does this feel so stalwart?" she asked no one in particular. "Must be a different writer. Anyway, my Pokemon." She tapped her chin in thought. "Hibiscus just evolved, and Ree is just one level away from doing the same." That meant at least two of her pokemon were higher leveled than mine. Icarus would be heartbroken. "The tunnel is connected to Verdanturf, right?" she asked, obviously thinking about Wally. I smiled at the thought of them together. They are so cute.
"Yeah." I scratched the back of my head. "But it's blocked off until we learn rock smash."
She gasped, a hand in front of her face. "Spoilers." She joked. "Seriously though…" A floating doughnut randomly appeared between us. "Look! A doughnut!"
I have never seen a doughnut disappear that fast. It's a wonder she isn't diabetic. Or fat, for that matter. A phone clipped to her belt began shaking violently. She must have bought it while I was being mobbed.
"Is your new phone vibrating?" She looked shocked to find it.
"A new phone? Huh. It is nice." She put her fingertips lightly on the shiny surface. "How did I get it?"
"Thank author powers who wanted a certain ship to sail," I relayed, grinning.
"Fuck you too." She answered the phone, putting it on speakerphone while simultaneously rolling her eyes. "Wally? Why am I not surprised?" As Wally spoke the following words in the most pathetic tone I have ever heard, Dusty looked only more and more shocked.
"Um... I wanted to apologize. I was acting like an idiot, because I was afraid I was going to die a virgin. Now that I realize that is a stupid fear, I am going to do my best to never philander again. You are the only one I am going to pursue. My personal challenge."
"Okay." She said reasonably, bobbing her head. "Okay... WHAT!?" Her voice rose in octaves until she screeched the last word into the phone. "Wally never apologizes to the girls he wrongs! And when does a thirteen year old boy worry about his virginity?!"
I shrugged at this, and replied,"You must have made an impact."
She groaned, and pinched her nose between her forefinger and thumb. "I need a doughnut." Didn't she just have one a second ago? "Noah? Do you have one?"
I rummaged through my pack until I found one, slightly squashed, in a creased plastic bag.
"Some random lass gave me this." I examined it. It was a fairly good replica of my face. "I'm not a big fan of sweets, and it looks like my face. You want it?"
She considered it for a millisecond before snatching it from my hand. "Cool! I'm eating Noah's face!" She bit into the center of the pastry. "Your nose is delicious."
She then remembered the phone in her other hand. "Wally, you still there?"
A silence was heard from the other line for a moment. "Something about you eating Noah's face? Is it something sexual?"
"It is the best thing I have ever eaten." She said suggestively. "There is chocolate inside." A sigh of realization came from the other side of the line. "Even if it was sexual-" She stuck out her tongue at the phone- "What would you do?"
"Probably cry until I died. I'm going in five months, anyway. You are the best thing that has happened to me." He stopped for a moment. "Both Dusties are."
I forgot he named his Ralts Dusty. Kinda creepy. Whatever floated their ship I guess.
"Uh, Wally? I'm sorry if I was harsh, but before, you deserved it. Up, up and away!" She flew off, dropping her phone into my hands. WHAT WERE THE AUTHORS THINKING, GIVING HER FLIGHT?
"HEY!" I called up to her floating form. "You left your phone!"
"Shit! Give me that!" She fell back into the ground. "My nice phone."
I felt a rumble in the distance. Dusty seemed unperturbed. "Oh yeah. In the five seconds while I was away, I annihilated the gym and got the Stone badge. Ooohhh! Take that, Noah. ...It might also be on fire."
Before I could respond, Wally answered, "Cool. You are the best trainer ever, love."
Dusty put her hand over the receiver. "Noah, Wally is making me feel weird. What do I do?"
I pondered her question. "How? Like Inigo weird? Or Henry weird?"
She pulled her hand off the receiver and pointed a single finger at me. "Oh yeah! Henry..." She sighed at the thought of her other hubby. "Henry weird, definitely."
Wally's voice came back through the speaker. "Who is this Henry guy? Is he your boyfriend?"
Another rumble came from the distance, followed by some screams.
"Crap! Look at the other fourth wall!" She yelled at me. I think it may have been the gym she had set on fire, but to each their own. "Your fault, Noah." She turned back to the phone. "Henry? Forget about him." She laughed nervously. "I don't have a boyfriend."
Wally's voice came back wounded, and frightened. "You obviously care for him. I will make you love me more than you could ever love him! I will start in Mauville! Goodbye, my love!"
I could tell the click from the resulting hang up echoed through her consciousness from the way she looked at the deadline.
"This is your fault Noah." She murmured, a quietness in her voice telling me that she was pissed. "He wasn't supposed to know about Henry."
I thought for a moment, before calmly telling her my opinion on the matter. "Henry is just a word to him. An idealistic goal for him to strive towards. He doesn't know he doesn't exist in this world." She did not seem satisfied with my answer.
"Fine," she replied grudgingly, before beginning her treck out. "I have to run now. Roxanne is placing a 1000 Poke Yen reward on my head for burning the gym and being smarter than her. TROLLLOL!"
"I'll distract her." I assured her. "My shirt is off, so irresistible is still on."
It was true. My shirt was stuck and shoved inside my back pocket. Dusty immediately took out a silver camera and began flashing pictures at my form.
"Ah yes." She snapped a couple more, from different angles. "Thank you Noah."
"I'll buy you enough time. I will agree to date her if she beats me. Then I'll get the badge. Two taillowes, one stone." I handed her a sheet of paper with Wally's number on it.
"Ok." She snapped even more pictures, positioning my arms. "So this is Wally's phone number?"
"Yes. He's probably training, so don't call him." I advised, walking towards the Gym. "Let him call you."
"Love advice?" She pondered what I had said, and seemed to accept it. "Okay, sure." She snapped a parting picture as I entered the ruins of the gym. "Have fun!"
I entered the gym, and saw the blackened husk it had become. Every step I took crunched with the sound of ash. Not the Pokemon trainer kind, the fire kind. The walls were only half standing, charred and crumbling, and the roof had collapsed completely, only a few lonely boards creating strips of shadows. The only thing that remained standing was the teacher's desk that Roxanne sat behind. She seemed fairly young for her profession, about only 22 of her probably more years. Her brown hair was pulled behind her head in a pair of twin ponytails. Intelligent red eyes peered at me from her place, her face hiding behind a textbook. I knew that she was no pushover by any means. Her eyes scanned me, and her gaunt face took on a blush that said she liked what she saw. She closed the book that she was reading, laying it on the desk, spine sticking up.
"Oh, hello there." She blushed. Even infatuated, she still seemed intimidating.
"Ummmm... Hi!" I replied. She looked at me as if she were expecting me to say something witty. "Nice pile of rubble you have here."
"Hm?" She seemed to realize where we were, glancing around disinterestedly. "Oh yes. Watch out for the pile of corpses in the corner."
I looked, and sure enough, a pair of human remains was stacked there.
"What happened?" I asked, knowing very well what happened. Dusty. Dusty happened.
"It was some random pyschopathic girl who brought in a grass type. We're hunting her down right now... " I wondered how the gym caught on fire then...
"Right!" I said before I could think about the lack of continuity too much. "You are the Gym Leader, yes?"
She smiled, walked over to me, and traced a finger across my bare shoulder. Her red eyes sparkled with interest.
"I can be anything you want. I am a teacher, a Leader, a lover..." She let the last word settle in the air.
"Right." I pushed her finger off of my shoulder, only for her to move to tracing what I realized to be hearts on my chest. How old does she think I am?
"Um." I said with eloquence, forgetting how to speak momentarily. I ignored my most base urges to slam her on the desk and use it for something other than for grading papers. "You're just a Gym Leader to me." She backed off, disappointment in her gaze.
"Only a Gym leader? Okay." She reluctantly accepted. "I'll be just that." She liked her lips sensually. "For now."
Sweet.
Arceus.
Let me come out of this with my virginity.
"I'll fight you!" I shouted, pulling away from her and taking a Pokeball from my belt. "Icarus!"
Icarus flapped a couple times, then landed on my shoulder.
"Hey boss!" He greeted me. Roxanne backed away a few feet.
"A wingull? There had to be a catch. The hot ones always consort with-" She spat the last two words out like the worst curse she could think of "-Water types."
"Hey!" Icarus protested. "That's racist!"
I ignored this comment. "I am not type exclusive. Icarus is just one of my four Pokemon."
She seemed to relax, coming closer to me. She layed her head on my left collarbone.
"We will battle then." She rubbed her hand against my stubbly chin, back and forth. Must. Resist. Base. Urges. "If I win, you have to become my gym trainer, and do whatever I say, for the rest of your days." Her grin and previous actions told me what a lot of that was going to be. I seriously considered the merits of losing.
"And if I win?"
"You get a Gym badge. And an offer for something you would really love." She winked.
"But what if," I cleared my throat. "I do not wish to accept your offer?"
She took three steps back with a cold look on her face. "Why wouldn't you accept my offer?"
A lower part of me asked the same question. My brain told it to shut up.
"You are a bit old for me." I told her, trying to coax her into battle.
"First you throw out a water type." She trembled with rage. "And now you are calling me old? Dozens and dozens of my male and some of my female students would have jumped at my offer! It would have been a one time thing! No commitment!" She stomped her foot. "Why in Arceus' green earth wouldn't you accept?"
"Because I am here for one reason! To battle you. Send out your Pokemon." The lower part of me was screaming in rage at the rest of me, but that part was just going to have to get over it. Roxanne just backed off and pulled out her Pokeball.
"Fine you fag. I'll battle you. But you won't like it." She threw it out onto the ground with a swift, decisive motion. "Geodude!"
The rocky ball was about three times larger than Icarus, who was circling around it in the air. She smacked her fists together.
"Ready to strike, Boss," he informed me, voice echoing from above. I knew that the rock probably had Sturdy, so it didn't hurt to have an extra layer of protection.
"Supersonic, Icarus!" I ordered him. He released a call that bounced off the wall, making it seem like there was another Wingull behind the Geodude. The Geodude's eyes rolled about in her head.
"Geodude. Defense Curl!" She called to the confused Pokemon. She wrapped her arms around her head to hide. I knew that this next shot had to be perfect.
"Icarus. Water Pulse!" Icarus dive bombed the rock.
"Geodude! Rock Tomb!" I watched in horror as the Geodude picked up a pair of rocks, and threw them just when Icarus released his Water Pulse. The rocks ended up clipping his right wing, blood splattering the floor. The Geodude, however, got hit full force with the Water Pulse and was ripped apart. Maybe she didn't have Sturdy. Icarus landed in front of me, wincing in pain.
"I don't know if I can take another hit boss. Can I not be against the next one?"
"Sure. Icarus, return." I surveyed my opponent, who looked unaffected by the death of one of her Pokemon. In fact, she had one of the straps of her dress in her hand. Oh Lord. She pulled that across her shoulder, and the other strap was headed in the same direction, albeit on the other side. When they both were loosely draped across her shoulders, she pulled her dress down to her waist. It stopped for no apparent reason. Something else besides the straps were holding the dress up. As for her torso, the only thing stopping me from seeing all of the milky white skin in that area was a peice of red lace wrapped around her chest. She was not badly endowed either. I swear, the lower part of me was going to have an aneurism. The other parts of me were all quite disgusted at her actions. She stretched languidly (this is just NOT FAIR!) and said:
"I figure that since you are such a Fagg, you won't mind if I take off my top as well? It's so dreadfully hot in here."
I gritted my teeth to force myself to stay in my position. Though to throw her across the desk, or to punch her was yet to be decided by my confused hormonal body. This isn't how it normally goes! I am the eye candy! They never give it back!
"That's what I thought." She squeezed her breasts together (Oh, now that is just plain CHEATING.) and after that gave another stretch before reaching for the other Pokeball at her waist. She pulled it off of the belt, and her Pokeball wasn't the only thing that bounced when she threw it out. (It should be a rule to not mess with hormones during a Pokemon battle!) I gulped subconsciously as I saw the Nose Pokemon hit the field. I knew how dangerous it could be. I grabbed Muddbutt's Pokeball off of my belt, and tossed him out as well. Muddbutt looked really happy to be there finally. Roxanne gave an evil grin. What is she... OH! Yeah…
"Well you certainly AREN'T a fag," she purred. "What is holding you back? Some sense of duty or honor? Do you fancy yourself a hero like a naive little boy?"
I stood silent because I would let her draw her own conclusions.
"That is it isn't it? You are holding yourself back because of some sense of false honor."
"Muddbutt!" I called, ignoring what she said. "Water Gun!"
A pathetic stream of water struck the Nose Pokemon, dissolving it slightly.
"I guess you should know that the whole hero complex thing is a huge turnoff for me." Much to the relief of my self control, she put her dress back on properly. "Nosepass, Rock Romb." The Nosepass threw rocks at Muddbutt, causing him to wince in pain and indents to appear, flesh scrapping off. I knew that he couldn't take another hit. His speed was lowered as well, so there was no garuntee that he was going to move first. Olivia didn't have a high enough defense to take a direct hit from a Rock Tomb, and Notica was weak to rock.
I quickly realized one thing then: not everyone was going to survive this fight.
I took a deep breath, and saw a stream of light fall in front of Muddbutt. A ball of silk formed in front of him, exchanging places with him. Notica sat right in front of the Nosepass while Mudbutt sat next to me, chomping on an Oran berry.
"Does this make me useful?" Her voice deadpanned from the inside of her silk cocoon. "Make sure you make something of my sacrifice."
I nodded dumbly, watching in horror as she was crushed by rocks. The green goop that spilled out was followed by a half formed Beautifly corpse. A light lit up from my right side as I collapsed to my knees from the sight.e, now a Marshstomp, Mudbutt strode onto the field. He shot a pillar of mud at the Nosepass, and it dissolved completely. Mudbutt crossed his newly formed arms in front of his chest.
"That was for Notica."
I crawled on my hands and knees to Notica's remains, goop clinging to my jeans. The awful reality of what had happened striked my chest like a ton of bricks. I cradled her corpse in my arms and whispered to it pleadingly.
"Sorry... Notica. You did your best. I am sorry that you died! I didn't mean it!"
The Gym Leader looked down at me with some measure of compassion.
"You get used to it after a while," she claimed, watching my mourning process. I set down her corpse, and began stacking rocks on top of it. I looked up at Roxanne, seeing her frown in confusion.
"You shouldn't. Every Pokemon is a friend for you to cherish. Every time one dies is a tragedy." I nodded and went back to stacking rocks. Roxanne looked amused at my pain now.
"Heh. You have the luxury to think that." She picked up one of her Stone Badges. "I'm just supposed to stand here and pass out gym badges for people killing my Pokémon." She crossed her arms across her chest. "We aren't all naive like you." I looked up at her, tears blurring my vision.
"You don't have to do anything." I decided to throw words back at her. "I am not naive like you. I am human." I looked her right in her scarlet eyes. "The only thing that keeps you there is your own stupidity." Roxanne looked furious. She began pounding on her desk to illustrate a point.
"Oh yeah?" She accused. "Did you grow up, starving on the streets of Rustboro? Did they threaten your little sister and then sell her to some pedophile?" Who was "they" to get her so worked up?
"No," I watch her relax, but tense again as I continued. "but I grew up an orphan and saw atrocities like that happen every day." I slammed the last rock of Notica's funeral cairn into place. "You can't frighten me with your sob story. We all have lost something."
Roxanne took on a mockingly motherly posture. "How cute. We have a brat with hero syndrome," she cooed, a dry smile broke through the facade. "Mark my words, you'll end up like me, one way or another. You'll be helpless and they'll take everyone you love." She counted them off on her fingers. "Friends, Pokémon, everything." She tossed the Stone badge at my feet. "So here's your badge and buh bye now."
I picked the badge off the ground, and placed it in my pocket. I put Muddbutt back into his Pokeball, and began to walk away. Then I realized I had to have the last word. Call it a pride thing.
"You can move from that spot any time. Just put one foot in front of the other."
And then I showed her a perfect example by walking out of the door.
I tried to return to my usual self as soon as I left the ruined gym.
"Thoraria!" I called out. "It is your turn to fight...Roxanne."
Dusty peeked out from behind a bush across the street.
"Does she still want to kill me?" She whispered, looking up and down the street, before coming out with a black body bag.
"Yes." I confirmed, fidgeting nervously at the mention of Roxanne. A weird light went into Dusty's eyes as we walked towards the Pokemon center.
"Did she say specifically that she would cut off my limbs slowly, one by one and then cut open my body and injure my organs, then decapitate me slowly and stick my head on a pike outside her gym?" An oddly specific question.
"No?" I asked.
"What?" She shrugged. "It sounds cool! She said she would do that to me! Now, let me just borrow Thoaria's unconscious body..." Unconscious? What?
"Where is she?"
"Not in this body bag?" She gestured to a bag that she was holding as Nurse Joy healed my Pokemon. She looked around the room and changed the subject.
"I caught this adorable Skitty outside of that route near the tunnel. Her name is Crescent." A sound came from the body bag she carried on her shoulder. She smacked it a couple times to make it quiet once more. I quickly put two and two together as I received my Pokemon back from Nurse Joy.
"Thoaria needs to do the gym," I reasoned with the insane short girl. "Let her out.
"But! But! She was going to be my experiment. How are you going to stop me?!" She ran off down the street, body bag bouncing and jolting behind her. I sighed deeply, and pulled Icarus' Pokeball off of my belt. The small white bird perched himself on his usual place, and examined the retreating form.
"You scorned that girl too, eh Boss?" He began preening his feathers again. "She isn't bad looking neither."
"That's Dusty." I reminded him.
"Eh. All you humans look the same." I wondered how he could tell she was "not too bad looking" if "all you humans looked the same." Whatever. "What crazy Taros Shit is she pullin' this time?"
"Thoaria is in the body bag, and I need you to help me save her."
"Is she your girl, Boss? Eh? Eh?"
"I will not dignify that with an answer."
"You are no fun, Boss." He prepped for take off before looking back at me. "All I wanted to do was breed you for IV's." I just stared at him for a while. "It's something I heard you and the short one talk about." I stared at him a little longer. Why was everyone I know trying to set me up?
"Just get her," I told him. He took off after Dusty's fleeing form. Icarus cawed at her, and I saw a light come from Dusty's palm and solidify into a Skitty.
"Crescent!" she called. "Use Attract!" Icarus had hearts instead of his usual black eyes.
"Hey! Boss! Are you sure I can't just mate with this chit over here?" The Skitty hid between her trainer's legs. I sighed at Icarus' antics. I swear, one day he is going to fly too close to peril and get burned.… Wait a moment.
"She isn't even in your egg group!" I called back.
"Hey! That thing can mate with a Wailord, Boss." He grabbed the back of Dusty's shirt. "Don't tell me what it can and can't mate with."
Dusty was flying along with Crescent in her arms, held aloft by Icarus. The bag with Thoaria in it was bumping behind them as she clutched at thefabric, holding it closed. Just thinking of the height and weight difference between the two made me realize just how strong Dusty actually was. Or just how strong the writer decided to make her for the moment. And Icarus? He was a regular Machoke.
"Crescent!" she said to the small cat in her arms. "Use Sing!" Bad move. Icarus began falling out of the sky faster than his namesake in the Greek mythos. He let go of the trio, and they began falling, Thoaria slipping free from the bag. I threw a Chesto berry in the air, and hoped Icarus would somehow catch and eat it while asleep. I ran under Thoaria's falling body and caught it, grunting from the impact. I cradled her in my arms, bridal style, and watched as Dusty floated down gently, landing lightly on her feet. Hold on…. Can I just call bullshit and break the other fourth wall for a second? Why does Dusty randomly get flying powers, and Thoaria can call on Morgan Freeman powers at will? What do I get? ...Oh yeah. the power to distract every girl and gay guy in a mile radius. I forgot for a second. Why do they get cool powers, and I get inconvenience power? Ok, continue.
I felt, rather than saw, Icarus land on my shoulder, and then I realized I should probably pull a Robin.
"Checkmate," I said as Icarus cawed Wingull. (He seriously just said Wingull. Sometimes I think there is something wrong with that bird.) "I win."
"Wow!" She said, ruffling through her bag. "Hold that pose." She pulled out her silver camera and snapped a few pictures. "Hold on." She pulled out a sailor's hat and adjusted Thoaria's hair. "Put this on." I obliged and she snapped a few more pictures in quick succession. She took the hat back, and said:
"You have literally made me a millionare. Thanks!" Have I seen a cent of this money? No.
"It isn't my fault all the store clerks are gay." I looked down at my muscular chest. "Maybe I should put my shirt back on." Dusty shook her head quickly as Icarus went back into his Pokeball voluntarily.
"Don't," she ordered me. "The ladies and the clerks need the 'shirtless hottie hero.' You are all the rage these days." Second time I have been called hero today. Both times they were unwarranted. If they only knew how little of a hero I actually was.
"I don't think they need me for anything." Thoaria stirred in her sleep, and opened her chocolate eyes, disoriented. She blinked, looking at me right in the eyes.
"Thank you for getting me out of that bag," she muttered. For some reason, a beam of light shone upon us, and taillow began chirping. Dusty jumped up and down, clapping her hands.
"I SHIP IT! NEW SHIP!" Thoaria and I rolled our eyes at each other before I set her down.
"Exactly," I asked pointing my finger at her, "Who DON'T you ship me with?" She considered the question for a bit and then tipped her head.
"Myself. You are too old for me, pedo." I couldn't think of anything to say.
"I do not appreciate all the shipping with one another," Thoaria told her. She looked at me, a little smugly, and before she could look away, Dusty snapped another pictureanon," she snipped. "Giving one to Steven after we help his father."
Thoaria glared down at her, their faces only inches apart. "Don't. You. Dare."
Thoaria and Dusty looked like they were about to come to blows. Only a miracle could save us from the inevitable flame war. Then a certain idiotic, incompetent Devon worker exited the building with a package in his hands.
"Hey!" I got their attention. "It's the scientist guy who was stupid enough to walk around with the top secret, very important boat parts." The Aqua grunt decked him. "Ow. That had to hurt."
Thoaria caught on to what I was doing. "And a grunt who is running away with the parts. Should we go help?" She looked at Dusty, who just turned away from her.
"Why should I care?" She did the hair flip thing that girls did when they were mad for some reason. "There's nothing in it for me! I already have my Skitty and killed a Whismur for EXP."
I have a feeling she was going to regret not catching one later. I searched my bag for another treat that the girls were constantly trying to seduce me with. I found a chocolate chip cookie that would be appetizing if I did not absolutely despise sweet things.
"A random Lass gave me this cookie. Do you want it?" Her pupils dilated at the sight of the cookie. (Why the hell isn't Gaius her FE hubby?)
"Hm…." She tapped her chin. "I need a little more." She snatched the cookie, and ate it in one bite. "But thanks, though." What else could I offer her? I looked at her camera. An evil idea popped into my head.
"That cookie-" I lifted my plain green shirt slightly, and she snapped another picture. "-And exclusive access to a new budding male model." The two girls looked kinda confused.
"Wally?" She peered at me over her camera. "He isn't old or healthy enough to be a model. He is cute, though."
"Steven? But he already has an agent," Thoaria said. Dusty turned to her again.
"Since when is Steven a model?"
Thoaria pulled several fashion magazines out from the inside of her bag. In all of them, he wore different forms of beachwear.
"Since forever!" She fangirled. I put a finger in front of her lips before she could begin a rant.
"I am going to stop you there because both of you are wrong." I crossed my arms. "Who here have you been exploiting for money, Dusty? This will make it legal." Understanding dawned on her face.
"I'm your agent." Thoaria opened your mouth, and Dusty turned to her. " Shut up. What illegal activity?" She laughed in her usual nervous way.
"We never signed a contract," I reminded her.
"Fine." She consented. "I'll go. You better give me some good material." I laughed.
"You haven't seen me in a contest yet!" I grinned at her with huge cheek. "I promise a 300% increase in stock."
Dusty looked at me with a gleam in her eye. "If you and Lisia become official, I predict a 524% increase." She matched my grin. WHY THE HELL DO THEY KEEP ON SHIPPING ME WITH HER?
Thoaria rubbed her temples. "This math is hurting my head."
Dusty looked around, then raised a single finger in the air. A black Pegasus picked her up.
"Let's go!" She called. "We have a stupid worker to save!"
"Since when do you need a Pegasus to fly?"
"Fuck that! I'm a Pegasus, bitches!" She called back down to us.
I hate our authors.
I truly do.
I turned to Thoaria.
"Thoaria, can you call on magical Morgan Freeman powers?" She jumped up.
"Sure." She turned to the sky and screeched: "Morgan!" He immediately appeared in front of us in a rocking chair stroking a white Persian cat.
"You called?" He asked in his smooth voice. Wow. I want Morgan Freeman magic too!
"Teleport us to the tunnel, stat." Then Arceus appeared in a beam of golden light.
"Hold on there. Teleport is a Pokémon move. And who are you talking to? A FUCKING HUMAN." He scoffed at the man in the chair. The man with the cat just glared back. I was seriously beginning to question this world's continuity. I considered all that had just happened, and decided to let it go.
"Arceus is right," I admitted. "But I have a Pokemon who knows Teleport." I released Olivia from her Pokeball. "Teleport us to the tunnel!"
A moment later, we were outside Rustboro Pokemon center.
"OOOHHH! You just teleported to the Pokémon Center! Because in Pokémon, that's what Teleport does! YOU HAVE BEEN OWNED!" I sighed. I had no idea what continuity we were going with. Arceus was doing a little victory dance. "I WILL SMITE YOU FOR FUN!"
"I have main character immunity. You can't kill me." Arceus looked seriously bummed.
"Damn. I hate when they do that." He let loose a sigh that even Cordelia would be jealous of. "Fine, Morgan Freeman Magic." He gestured for Morgan Freeman to continue. Morgan Freeman waggled his fingers.
"Badabing Badaboom!"
The first thing I noticed was the change in air quality. It was a million times more stuffy in here. The second was Dusty's Ralts, Ree, killing an already dead Poochyena.
"Ree! Use another Disarming Voice!" She finally turned to notice us. "You two are late."
"Arceus interfered with my Morgan Freeman magic." Thoaria explained. Dusty looked uninterested.
"Don't question it." She turned to a grunt who she had her foot on. "So! Grunt! What do you have to say for yourself?"
The grunt grabbed her ankle to relieve the pressure that she was exerting on his chest with her foot.
"The bounty on your head would have fed me for weeks!" He began to blush, sweat rolling down his forehead. "And you have given me a nice view of your beautiful ass, thank you." He gave a shit eating grin that was quickly dispersed by Dusty giving him a taste of her sneaker. She gave him a menacing glare.
"You want me to feel sorry for an evil grunt?" She answered his pitiful groans of mercy, grinding her foot into his face until his nose broke. "You want to give me away to someone who will stick my head on a pike after ripping off my body parts and poking my very important organs! And you were staring at my ass! I am FOURTEEN GODS DAMMIT!"
"That's not the only thing I am going to do to dat Ass." Another stomp to the face quieted him, blood trickling and staining the dirt floor.
The old sailor Mr. Briney just stared on at us.
"... Kids these days..." Dusty glared at the old man with murder in her eyes. I knew I had to redirect her attention. Luckily, Wally was training his Ralts on the other side of the tunnel.
"Look!" I shouted, gaining Dusty's attention. "On the other side of those rocks. It's Wally, Dusty!" Dusty immediately gave herself whiplash, she looked over at him so fast.
"WALLY?" She tripped over her own feet. She immediately recovered, combing her hair with her fingers, and spun on her heel to face him. "I mean, hi. What's up?" Wally would not meet her eyes for shame.
"I'm not nearly strong enough to be better than your Henry yet." He looked back up at her with a fire in his eyes. "But just you wait!" Dusty cocked her head, and lowered herself to lean the front of her torso against a rock. Good god. Was she doing this to the poor boy on purpose?
"Just forget about Henry," she told him. "You just need to be you. It's okay if you aren't strong; then I'll protect you." She rose from the rock, and popped one hip out, placing her hand on it. "I always wanted to be a hero to someone." Wally was hypnotized. It was a good thing that all we could see was his face above the rock...
"Look." He blushed. "My motives aren't the best. I love you, but you have to let me apologize in advance for wanting to move quickly. I only have five months left." Dusty gasped at the news that every single other person knew was truth.
"This is so sweet," a voice to my right said. It was the grunt, who had gotten up and was now clutching his nose. "I'm getting several cavities, a stomach ache and two rare diseases. Can I just fuck you in front of your boyfriend and be done?" A fist broke a couple of his teeth. I looked down and realized it was mine. Dusty hadn't even looked back.
"Noah, get the grunt. He's annoying me." I quickly punched him again in the temple, knocking him out cold. While this was going on, Dusty continued. "Wait, you weren't kidding? Or lying to get laid? Dammit, game! I didn't know it was canon! Wally!"
She began to cry. I saw the green haired ex-philanderer smile sadly at the sight. He reached his hand up, and was just barely able to brush Dusty's hair in an attempt to comfort her.
"It was just a convenient reality at the time," he admitted, his face about to burst into tears. "Now it is the worst thing possible. All those moments I could have lived with you, lost." Was I crying at this sight? No way. I was just sweating from my eyes.
"Man." Dusty wiped away a tear. "You sure have learned how to lay it on thick... I haven't even had my first kiss!" Wally's eyes met hers in the most passionate embrace of vision I had ever seen.
"We can change that." He said to her tearful gaze. She made a weird little "muah" sound at the statement. "I've never kissed anyone before."
"So you have never..." Her gaze fell to the floor. "You know." Wally gave the most sincere laugh I had ever heard come out of him. A fit of coughing followed showing why he didn't do it often.
"You're kidding right? With my pickup lines?" He coughed a couple more times while Dusty pouted slightly, pressing her fingers together.
"In case anyone was as stupid as me to..." She pulled a May, kinda awkwardly recovering from what she was about to say. "Never mind! HAHA! I wasn't going to say anything!" Right. Sure you weren't. Squee.
"Well." He said, his eyes looking deep into the soul and beyond. "Well? You up for it?" Dusty didn't even hesitate with her answer.
"Just come here."
The doomed lovers lips strained to meet across the rocks that separated them. They stayed in that position for a good minute before realizing that the gesture was impossible to preform at this time. The rocks that separated them were just wide enough that their lips could not meet. Now that ladies and gentlemen, is convenient writing. Dusty seemed to realize this as well.
"Dammit, authors. You are jerks." A wistful smile spread across her face. "In Mauville?" Wally grinned back.
"ABSOLutely!" Everyone groaned at the pun except Dusty who kept her infatuated smile. I guess that is all that matters. Dusty turned to me.
"Noah! Did you get the grunt, or is he still staring at my ass?" I just held up his unconscious body for her to see.
"Great! We can head back into town now!" Dusty said happily. Wally looked wistfully after her.
"I love you," he mumbled, and it drew her right back in.
"I've never done this before. What if I do it wrong?" she admitted. I decided to bring her down to earth.
"You are doomed in five months anyway." Dusty glared at me with tears streaming down her face.
"Shut the hell up!" She turned back to look at his face. "I can save him. I'm smart enough to find a cure." Wally told her something she probably already knew.
"The greatest doctors in the world couldn't save me. Noah is right." Dusty shook her head with denial.
"Well, I don't need to be the greatest. I only need to be the one who succeeds when no one else does." She had a revived grin at that unlikely thought. "And if you start pushing me away, you'll just waste even more time." She gave him a mischievous look that just oozed with suggestions. "Oh, I expect you to be a good kisser. Cause you're the only one I'll ever kiss, okay?" Wally shook his head with confusion.
"How exactly am I supposed to know how to kiss?" He asked her.
"Well," Dusty informed him. "Kissing is basically putting your lips together. French kissing, though, is when you stick your tongues in each other's mouths and sex is when -"
"I'm sure I will find out all of those things with you." He told her, looking up and down her form with a hunger. (Dusty was at that point far enough away for him to examine her entire body. This was a legit scan. He did not dwell at the normal points.) Despite this, Dusty still felt subconscious about something. She pulled her shirt further over her jeans. This only resulted in her cleavage popping, so it probably had the opposite effect than the one she wanted.
"I don't think I am ready for sex."
Wally was really disturbing me with that look. It was a good thing those rocks were between them.
"What if," he asked, "You can't save me? Maybe we should just be sure." Dusty blushed at the thought. I noticed she never said no. Maybe Wally should buy condoms. Just in case.
"Tch! Idiot! Of course I'll save you! I will always save you!" Dusty took a lumpy package from her pocket. "Now take this and we need to move on with the plot."
"What is it?" Wally asked her. Dusty's blush was reaching her ears now.
"A ring. Iris! Fly away!" The black pegasus grabbed her and flew her out of the cave. Wally shot me a look of pure bliss, then went back to training. Thoaria grabbed Raven's pokeball.
"Are you heading back to do plot?" she asked.
"No. I need to catch some new friends." I told her. "You go on ahead." She nodded, and then teleported back to the Rustboro Pokemon center. I took a look around, and YOLO balled the first Whismur I saw. It was a female, and at a significantly lower level than the rest of my team.
"Your name is Mumble." I told her.
She muttered something I could not understand.
"I am sorry, what?" The same message was repeated.
"Ok. In the ball you go." A bright stream of light dispersed her form. I walked out of the tunnel into the bright sunlight. When I shielded my eyes from the blinding sun, I noticed a certain Gym Leader, walking somewhere with pair of poke balls at her belt, and a bouquet of yellow roses in her right hand. She was humming a tune that I recognized as the music that was constantly playing over the speakers on a slow day in the pokemon Centers. On a busy day it had no chance to play over the announcements. It was always: "Mr. Cart, please come to surgery room C," or something. But it was always something. The song came on for several assorted minutes when no Pokemon was dying or dead in that hospital of hope, pain and fear. Sorry, I was going off on a rabbit trail there, what was I talking about? Roxanne! That was it. She was walking away from the city with some purpose. I decided to find out what was going on with her. I jumped in front of her, and she leapt back a couple steps, startled.
"Oh, hey Roxanne. You finally leave the Gym?" I gave a smile, thinking that she had left the Pokemon murdering business for good. She just shook her head in response.
"I always leave the Gym during this particular day." She responded to the smile with a frown. I sighed and counted my blessings that at least she wasn't being flirty. Maybe I could find out information on who "they" were.
"Any 'particular' reason?" I asked her, mimicking her tone. She stood in silence, her hair, blowing in an undulating spiral down her back. It was just beyond shoulder length. She should wear her hair down more. It looked good that way. ...NO, NOAH! You are here for information.
"I visit my parent's graves. I'm sure they curse me, wherever they are, for letting Team Aqua get their hands on my little sister and selling her as a sex slave." She stuffed her hands into the pockets of the jacket she was wearing. "We were 'taking up precious room that could be used for the ocean's Pokemon', you see." Of course it was them. It was always Team Aqua. Them or the other one that was just as bad for the opposite Magma. They didn't tell you the real reason why they were a gang in the games and it was not some "environmentalist movement." That was why.
Definitely not some subject for a kid's game.
"That was Team Aqua's fault." She shook her head helplessly at my words. "Not yours."
"Is it?" She shrugged. "Maybe I could have stopped them, if I had tried." I looked into her eyes, and guessed pretty well what happened. One of two things had to have occurred for her to look like that, and one of them, no girl could ever walk away from.
"There were two of them," I started, and she interrupted me.
"There were two and I had my Nosepass with me." She was visibly beating herself up about it. "In truth, I-I let it happen. We had no money, and what little food I did have went mostly to my sister." She would not meet my eyes. I was beginning to feel myself get angry at this defeatist. "I was desperate, and starving, and realized I would die, just so my little sister could live for a worse fate." I brought my hand around a stinging whip across her cheek. She looked at me in shock. I just continued my speech calmly.
"One of them was a brute of a man. About seven feet tall. Wore a bandana. The other was a smaller female. Probably voiced him back to reason after he took your sister." Roxanne's eyes told me I was right.
"How would you know?" She asked me, her red orbs searching mine. I looked at all of the hope and fear in those eyes. I never told anyone of my past. My real parents were dead.
"Let's just say I haven't had the best dealings with Team Aqua." She backed away, a single eyebrow raised in interest.
"Oh?" She crossed her arms over her chest. "You know, you're right. You know, the other one... She saved me from being…" She choked this word out. "Violated... By the other man. Fate plays out in such a cruel dance, doesn't it?" She spun around three times with her arms extended. "Circles and twirls and turning backs. C'est la vie." She finished her twirl, and I thought back to what she mentioned. The man who…
"The man, was Archie. Team Aqua's leader. He carries a powerful water type,and there is no way that you could possibly have beat him." She grimaced at that. "The woman is his lover Shelly when he isn't raping some helpless soul." She placed a solitary hand on my shoulder, anchoring my soul in the present.
"You..." She noticed her hand on my shoulder, blushed and removed it. "What have you not been telling them? They deserve to know." I think she was referring to Dusty and Thoaria. I don't think I'm ready to tell them anything. "Some friends of mine, Tate and Liza, they tell the future. And they have told me I'll encounter some children with the power to end these evils." She placed a single, well manicured finger on my sternum. "I believe you and your friends are it. In fact, I think I will take the bounty off of her head." She took her finger off of me and shook her head with disappointment. "Only with complete trust may you succeed. What have you been hiding? It will cause you and your friends to fall and lose this battle." I considered what she said. I knew I could not tell anyone, no matter what sort of warnings people had to throw my way.
"Let's just say-" I turned away to walk from her figure. "-That everything happens for a reason." I took my first tiptoeing step into the tall grass.
"Well, now." I heard Roxanne say behind me. "Interesting." I stalked away from her, and she continued on her path. I saw a Tailow fluttering off to the side, and a pink tail sticking up from the grass. It was attached to a Skitty, who was flicking her tail, on the hunt for the Tailow. I pulled Olivia out quietly.
"Olivia." I told her. "Engage the Skitty."
"R-r-right." Olivia followed my orders by picking up the Skitty by her tail with her telekinetic powers, and the cat Pokemon turned to us.
"Skitty?" She asked with curiosity.
"Confusion, Olivia."
"Um. Ok." When she did, the Skitty rolled end over end into a tree. She shook her head to clear it. This Skitty was probably on the same level as Olivia. If she was level 18… I had to be careful. I may loose someone else. The Skitty picked up a ball of mud, and threw it at Olivia. She just barely dodged out of the way. My sigh of relief stopped suddenly when the ball exploded outward, and threw Olivia against a tree. Olivia did not have the best defenses, so I doubted that she could take another hit from a Mud Bomb. I pulled out a Pokeball to return Olivia. A flash of golden light appeared, and Icarus took her place.
"Hey boss! Am I going to fight this… Oh wow! Wow, Boss!" The Skitty had used the move Attract, judging from the hearts in place of his eyes. "Do yeh think that I could get that one? Eh? Eh?"
I knew that it was a risk sending any male out against any female Skitty, but Icarus was the only one who was immune to the Mud Bombs.
"Just use Sater Gun on it." I told him. He shot a small squirt of water out of his mouth at her. The Skitty looked like it was about to hit the floor at this point. I was surprised that it took so many hits from my Pokemon. It will be a very valuable addition to my team. Icarus apparently agreed for very different reasons.
"Heya, ye gorgeous little chit. You are going to be my baby." Icarus bobbed his head. "Yeah! My cute little baby chit. Eh?" A Mud Bomb to the face sent him sprawling across the ground. I gasped, but Icarus just flipped over. She must have Normalize too. Hot diggity, Icarus was still alive.
"Eh? You have a bit of fight in yeh?" An accent I did not recognize began to come over his voice. "Weeeell, this'll be a good scuffle then, eh, Baby? You wanna fight?" I picked up the ornery Wingull and placed him on my shoulder.
"I'll handle this, Icarus. We don't want to kill her." I pulled out a ball, and began thinking of a name as I threw the ball to capture her. I looked to Icarus as the ball shook for a final time and lit up, signaling her capture.
"What do you think Icarus?" I stroked his head the way he liked. "Baby?" Icarus scoffed, a blueish tinge on his face.
"That chit is my Baby." He told me, and the blueish tinge in his face I realized now, was a blush. "But I suppose we could all call her that as long as we understand that." Icarus apparently wasn't affected by the move Attract anymore. I tweaked his beak in a teasing way, making him squawk once in indignation.
"We talked about this. That 'chit'," I said, imitating his accent, "Isn't in your egg group."
"Hey, Boss." He glared at me. "I thought I already told you." He ruffled his feathers as he stared at me. "You can't stop me when I want something." I gave him a half grin.
"Just make sure that you do nothing without consent."
"From you, Boss?"
"From her." With that, I pulled out my new friend. The pink cat appeared, looking into my eyes with confusion.
"Your new name is Baby." I stroked her pink fur. "Welcome to the team."
"Baby." She said, tasting the name on her tongue. She tilted her head with a strange smile on her face. "I like it!" Her face fell when she saw Icarus on my shoulder. "You hurt me."
"Look, Baby, I am sorry that I did that, but orders are orders." The cat seemed satisfied.
"Okay!" Icarus lifted off from my shoulders at her voice. "I hope we can become good friends!"
"The best!" Icarus agreed with a sly wink. He settled in place on top of her head. The Skitty looked up at a pokeball on my waist.
"Whose home is that? The one with the green slime?" She pointed her nose at Notica's old pokeball. I smiled at the memory.
"An old friend." I told her. "She sacrificed herself so that the rest of us could live." Baby looked thoughtful for a moment.
"They say that the dead in heaven watch the living from their places. Keeping watch over us smiles on their faces." She stopped, but I knew the rest of the poem full well.
You and I both know full well.
The way they feel inside hell.
I pulled out their Pokeballs, and returned them into their containers. I heard something beyond the bushes where I captured her. I peered into a secret grove of sorts, hidden by trees, where Roxanne was standing before a pair of tombstones, the flowers laying in the dirt.
"Hello, Mom and Dad." She sniffed. "I brought you Elena's favorite flowers!" She began crying like I had never seen her before. That name… It was the same as… It must be a coincidence. "Yellow roses. Bright, and beautiful like her!" I heard her cry the tears of a woman still in mourning. I looked to my right, bearing witness to a red flower of the same type. I plucked it gingerly, watching for thorns. I stood before the graves next to the sobbing Gym Leader. I set the flower before the grave.
"Hi." I wrung my hands nervously. "I never knew you in life, but I know you are watching." I gestured at the flower. "I brought you something! A flower just like your beloved daughter you see before you." Roxanne looked up at me, tears distorting her face. "This rose is beautiful just like her. And like her," I grabbed the rose hastily drawing blood on my fingertips, "Something sharp and dangerous barrs hasty approach." I grabbed it more gingerly, and brought it to my nose. "But when you do get around it, you can realize its true beauty. Its fragrance, if you will." Roxanne began crying once again, but this time looking me full in the face. I grinned and turned to speak to her.
"They say that the dead watch the living! Your parents... They have to be looking on and smiling." I chose the words that I had heard a Pokemon utter only a moment before. She rose beside me, looking up at me from her height that would normally be extremely tall for a woman, but was dwarfed by mine by a good half of a foot. She brought her face close enough to me so that I could hear her whisper.
"You have honeyed words, hero." She gave a sad smile. "You have me convinced. You want to hear my last few secrets?" I played nonchalance.
"Sure. I've caught all the friends I can in this area." She backed off and sat on her mother's tombstone.
"Why do you think Gym leaders so rarely leave their gyms?" I considered the question. Maybe the reason I theorized with Roxanne's.
"Fear of the horrors they will find." Roxanne gave a huge grin.
"Nope!" Her grin fell as she stroked at the stone. "The Pokemon Associations purposely select people with secrets they need to hide, or pasts they want to bury." She bent double on the stone, then stretched herself out. "We are desperate, you see, and they know it. So we are forced to sign a contract, and spend the rest of our days there." She closed her eyes, hiding the red. "We have no choice but to kill in hopes we will be allowed to walk off, free when they decide we have paid off our debts fully." She opened her eyes, and looked off in the distance. "We have racked up quite the debts as gym leaders, for we don't have our own money. The association pays for it all." She turned her head to look at me directly.
"Choice is a funny thing. You want to know why?" I stood from the stone. "There always is one. Just be sure the one you have made is right," I pointed at the stone she was sitting on, "Or else, it will haunt you like those graves." Roxanne stood next to me.
"You know what else is funny? Hope." She stood, looking up into my face, using my words and expression. "Hope is a funny thing. You want to know why?" I nodded, and Roxanne placed her head on my chest. "It is what keeps others moving on at night, but yet something that others have forsaken." She turned back around and put her arms around my neck. "Heh. You made me hope again, you annoying little hero. Come save me and the others sometime," her lips were inching towards mine, "If you aren't saving the world." Her lips lightly brushed mine, but when I tried to move away, she deepened it, pushing my lips harder on to hers. This definitely was not a friendly kiss. This was a desperate plea for acceptance. I felt the infatuation coming off of her in waves. I had to stop this. I pulled her arms away from my head, and pulled apart the kiss.
"No." I told her firmly. "I have to go."
"Really?" She laughed, embarrassed. She was serious again. "Be careful of Norman. He has the worst things to hide. Just a little parting advice. As friends?" She looked at me, hoping for an answer that would never come.
"As friends," I confirmed. "I will save them." I walked out of the secret grove with more things to prove than ever before.
I arrived at the docks outside the Petalburg Woods at sunset. I ran towards Mr. Briney's house, hoping that I would be able to make it in time. Dusty saw me first, body bag in hand.
"Thought we left already?" She asked me from the deck of the ship, leaning on the railing. "We were waiting for your annoying ass to come around."
"Just had a few loose ends to tie up." I rubbed my cheek. Dusty scanned my movements, and adopted a mischievous grin.
"What sort? A girl? Hm?" She asked. I decided to take my meeting with Roxanne a different way with Dusty.
"Getting Roxanne off your ass more like. The bounty has been lifted." Dusty looked surprised.
"Damn, what are you? A hero?" If only she knew. "Well, too bad! I was the first hero to come around!" She examined me with a critical eye. " Do you and Roxanne have a thing? I need to milk it as much as possible for the press if you do." I considered all of the things that had happened. How we parted. How she acted. I gave her a smile.
"Just friends, Dusty." She looked at me in frustration.
"You have to settle down sometime." Then she tapped her finger on her chin. "But wait, if you're free, we'll have better stock. Huh." Noises began coming out of the body bag as she talked. Dusty smacked the bag with her randomly appearing baseball bat. "And Thoaria is not in the body bag. Shut up." She gave me a smile that told me she was lying without a doubt.
"Get her out."
AN: Thank god! I thought my fingers were going to fall off. Anyway, My name is Noah, or Thatoneselfinsertguy, and I am going to collapse in a stupor after typing this. Follow, Review, and check out my other account if you want! I will see you later.