Woo. Okay. Sorry this took awhile. Updates are probably gonna be a little slower since I'm practically failing Science this year. Woo.

Anywhos,

Enjoy! c:

I slipped back into sleep, only to be awakened what seemed like moments later by voices.

"You're a patient at the Central Hospital?"

"I've been there before."

"But you're a patient?"

"I wouldn't call it that."

I interrupted the conversation with the doctor.

"Yes, he's a patient, whether he would like to admit it or not."

"Okay." The doctor nodded as he wrote something on his clipboard.

The machine hooked up to Ed's heart was producing a beep every few moments. The pause between each beat seemed far too long.

As the doctor finished writing, he swiftly left the room.

I glanced over at Ed. He didn't look any better than he had when I found him. Well, apart from the fact that he was now conscious. Ed still had the deathly look about him, and the colour hadn't yet returned to his face.

"What are you staring at?" Ed's harsh voice asked.

"Nothing." I simply stated.

Ed rolled his eyes.

A silence followed this.

I had no idea what to say to him. It was very clear that he didn't want to talk right now. Who was I to force him to speak?

What he told me last night...

That he didn't want to fix things. That he just wished I had left him there to die.

Could...could he actually have meant that?

I wanted to ask him that, so badly, but I knew that asking would only piss him off.

"What drove you to this point, Edward? What made you feel that the only escape was suicide?"

I hesitantly asked this, and Ed was silent for several moments.

I almost thought he was going to just ignore that.

But then...

"I... I don't think it was a specific something that made me feel this way. It's more the fact that nothing is changing. I've felt the same way for the past year. Nothing's changed. If it has, it's only gotten worse. Everybody keeps telling me 'things won't always be like this' and 'you'll feel better if you just give it some time'. Well guess what. They're wrong. Maybe I'm expecting things to change too quickly, but in all honesty - is one year's difference too much to ask for? It would be nice if things would start to seem even a little more positive. But no. There... there doesn't seem to be any end to this. So naturally, the only solution there is... well... was... to try to... end it."

Ed struggled with his words at the end of his rant. It was clear he himself didn't even want to admit that he had tried to kill himself. He couldn't bring himself to say those words.

"I just... I thought you had gotten better these past couple of months. Everyone thought you had gotten better..."

"I know. That's because I wanted you guys to believe it. Riza kept telling me to 'fake it til' I make it'. So, I faked it. I made you guys believe I was happy. I pulled that off so well to the point where, when I stopped pretending, that's when you guys thought I was pretending... I just kept suffocating any emotion I felt, hiding it and ignoring it. Burying it deep within me... Only, I found out the hard way that that doesn't work. All it does is cause the emotions to build up within me, to explode in an out-of-proportionate manner. The slightest things trigger my downfall... I just... I'm tired of living like this. I want it to change, but I know it never will. So I've given up."

I couldn't reply to this. I was at a loss for words.

The doctor returned just now.

"So... Edward Elric... I hear you were prescribed anti-depressants a few months ago? How has that been going?"

"What do you mean?" Edward's tone was biting.

"I mean, have you been taking them daily like you should be?"

"Of course I have." Now, Ed seemed defensive.

….

And now it all made sense.

The doctor figured it out before I did. And he's only known Ed for about... 12 hours.

Ed had been skipping his pills. I should've paid more attention to him, making sure he swallowed them but... The thought never occurred to me that he would be pretending to swallow them.

Hell, this was worse than I thought.

He hadn't been getting better at all.

The Doctor studied Edward.

"No, I don't think you have been. I'm afraid that your actions are speaking against you. If you had been taking them, there is no way you would've ran away and stabbed yourself multiple times on the floor of a hotel closet."

Edward lost all determination in his face.

Now, a look of defeat crossed his features.

He looked so little. His lower lip was trembling.

It's as if the reality of his situation was just now coming crashing down on him.

The doctor only nodded and uttered a "hmm" before handing the boy some pills.

"Painkillers. Anti-depressants. Anti-psychotics. One a day, every day."

Ed nodded.

Apparently, I was the only one perturbed by the fact he was now supposed to be on anti-psychotics.

"Wait, anti-psychotics? Is that really necessary?"

"I'm afraid so. When I called the hospital in Central, I heard word of the recent events. About how Edward had a little incident with the traffic on main street. Like it or not, that is not the actions of a depressed teenager. That is psychotic behaviour."

I felt as my head was going to explode.

How could such a young boy, with so much potential, be going through this?

His entire life is now going to be affected by this.

I glanced at the blonde boy.

Silent tears were running down his face.

Reality must be hitting him like a slap in the face.

The doctor took his leave.

I watched as Edward swallowed each of his pills.

"Colonel...I...I'm sorry."

Edward's voice cracked as he spoke.

"No, I am. I should have paid more attention. We all should have..."

"You can't blame yourself for not seeing what I was hiding. I didn't want anybody to notice."

My head fell into my hands.

Suddenly, I felt arms wrap around me. I pulled my hands away from my eyes to see that Ed had moved himself to the edge of the bed, and was now hugging me.

It should be the other way around. I should be hugging him right now.

Nevertheless, once the initial shock of Edward actually choosing to hug me passed, I placed one hand on his back and the other on his head, returning the hug.

"Ed?"

…

"Yeah?"

"Can you promise me that you'll never try to kill yourself again?"

Silence.

"I promise."

I closed my eyes. I knew he meant it. Or at least, he meant that he would do his best to stop himself from going to that state of mind where he would. Either way, that was enough for me right now.

I pulled the younger alchemist closer to me, tightening my grip on him. I didn't want to risk losing him. I felt like, if I were to let go, I would lose him for good.

And so we stayed that way for god knows how long.

I don't think either of us were really aware of anything anymore.

We both had gone numb from everything that happened.

Alrighty, so it's fairly short, but uh... yeah. :p

And to those of you who got my Pierce the Veil reference, I LOVE YOU ALL. (I didn't officially mention Pierce the Veil, I wanted to see how many (if any) of you would get it. If you don't know, it was when I had Ed say in the last chapter, "What's so good about picking up the pieces?" Thats lyrics from their song Caraphernelia. GO LISTEN TO IT. :3)

And the Bring Me the Horizon one, maaan, some of my readers clearly have good music taste ;p

And if you didn't get any of those song references, don't worry about it. I still love you.

Enough of all dat.

New York City was pretty awesome. I went to the Nintendo store, and the lady working there saw that I was fangirling over the Hyrule Historia (Zelda book) and she asked if I was a Zelda fan, I replied with a "hell yeah." and she went into the back of the store and returned with the MASTER SWORD AND HYLIAN SHIELD LIKE WHAAAAT. I was practically crying when she let me hold them. I took so many photos with me holding them. Daaaamn. And then, as I was holding them, she then decided to tell me that they were the exact ones that MIYAMOTO HELD WHEN HE ANNOUNCED TWILIGHT PRINCESSSSSSSS AND SKYWARD SWORD. Sorry. Especially if none of you are Zelda fans. Awkwaaaard.

Anywhos, on another note, when I got home from NYC I was feeling pretty shitty, but coming home to read all of your lovely reviews literally brought a smile to my face, and it made my night. Thank you guys, so much c':

So... I'll guess I'll leave it at that.

-HazelEyes8D