Chapter 26:
Rating: M
Disclaimer: I do not know any of the workers of the WWE personally nor am I affiliated with them in any way. This story is a work of fiction and I make no profit whatsoever from it.
The past few days had felt like a bad dream for Seth. When Roman had kicked him out of their house on Friday night, he had absolutely nowhere to go. He'd spent the majority of his night parked in his car down at the beach, crying away his feelings. It wasn't until very late on Friday night, almost Saturday morning when he'd turned up at Phil's apartment, desperate and pleading for somewhere to stay for the night.
"What are you doing here?" Phil's eyes were narrowed. Their usual kindness had disappeared and had been taken over by a very unfamiliar darkness.
"Roman kicked me out." Seth answered honestly.
"Good." Phil replied shortly. His hand pushed on the door and attempted to shut it right on Seth's face.
"I have nowhere to go, nowhere to stay. Phil." Seth's voice cracked as he felt more tears roll down his cheek. "Please Phil. I need somewhere to stay for tonight. I have nowhere."
"Give me a reason why I should?" Phil's tone was as cold as his eyes were. "This is what you deserve for what you did. I notice you didn't go crawling back to Dean. Interesting, huh?"
Seth let out another muffled sob. "Please Phil. I'm begging you."
Phil sighed dramatically as he rolled his eyes. "Fine you can stay here. For tonight only." He finally said after the longest of pauses. He stepped aside and opened the door wider, allowing for the other man to step inside of his apartment. "You can sleep on the couch."
Phil barely said two words to him that night, merely threw a pillow and a blanket at him before he retreated into his bedroom for the night. The door slamming as he went in there echoing in Seth's head. He didn't deserve this. This was a luxury compared to what he actually did deserve. He knew he should have been out in his car, freezing, but for some reason, Phil had shown him some sympathy and allowed him a place to sleep.
The following morning hadn't been any better. Phil had woken him up at precisely seven-thirty and had promptly told him to "get the fuck out of my house." Seth barely had a chance to dress properly before he fled the tiny apartment. He felt humiliated. Sure, he'd done something horrible. But it was to Roman and it didn't affect Phil in any way, shape or form. He'd felt so pathetic as he drove to work that morning, the mere fact that he had to grovel for a place to sleep from his alleged best friend made him feel lower than shit. He supposed this was his karma.
That night, Sami had been kind enough to allow him to stay at his house. He'd expressed his gratitude several times that night to which Sami had waved off, dismissing his kind words of thanks with "What are friends for?" He felt a strong pang of guilt knowing that Sami cared more for him and his own well being than what Phil had. The next morning, Sami had even cooked him breakfast and let him use his shower before he went to work.
Sunday night he hadn't been quite so lucky. He had enough money to stay in one of those cheap, sleazy motels but if he wanted to do that, he would have to not eat for the next however long. He ended up buying a pillow, a blanket and a few groceries before settling into his office at work. The floor was very uncomfortable and cold, not even the thick, woolen blanket keeping him moderately warm from the sudden winter chill that had encased Pensacola as of late. He'd awoken the following morning with a sore back and his stomach growling with hunger.
Monday morning he'd left his office to go and get a coffee from one of the many cafes down the street. He'd refused to buy instant coffee until he was absolutely desperate. He may not have had many funds left but the funds that he did have left, he would try and make himself feel at least somewhat normal. He was returning back to the store with his hot coffee when he stopped. He recognized the black Mercedes out the front and his heart was racing hard in his chest.
Slowly and carefully he walked up to the door, trying the doorknob first before he used the key. He felt his stomach drop when the doorknob twisted open, a heavy sigh leaving his lips. This was something he was definitely not ready for. Something he didn't know if he would ever be ready for.
"Hello Seth." The words called across the store.
Seth gulped audibly, his grip on his coffee cup so tight it was almost like a vice. "Hi Roman." He said so softly he wasn't even sure that the older man could even hear him. "What are you doing here?"
"Well it's my store too." Roman reminded him, taking a few steps closer to his now ex-boyfriend. He looked Seth over. The younger man looked horrible. He had big bags under his eyes, his face pale and it was painfully obvious that he was still crying. "I saw the pillow and the blanket in the office. Are you sleeping here?"
Seth nodded.
"Why?" Roman asked.
"I have nowhere to go." Seth answered. "My family lives in Iowa and I can't be a burden to my friends."
"Why didn't you say something to me?" Roman was watching him carefully.
"Because." Seth replied. "You don't need to take care of me anymore. I blew that when I did what I did."
Roman let out a sigh. "Yeah you were a shitty boyfriend Seth with what you did but you shouldn't be sleeping on the floor of your office. Surely there is somewhere you can stay."
"Phil barely let me stay there on Friday night and I can't impose on Sami." Seth answered honestly. "Sleeping on the floor is what I deserve for ruining what we had."
"Look, what if I let you stay at my house for the next month?" Roman proposed. "Just so you get your shit together and then you can leave, never to come back."
"I can't do that to you Roman." Seth replied. He took a sip of his coffee. Even after everything he'd done to the Samoan man, he was still offering to let him stay there.
"Well I won't let you sleep your way to an early grave." Roman said back. "Come round after six."
Seth smiled softly. "Thank you."
"I don't know how you can do it, Roman." John remarked as he took a sip of the alcoholic drink that his friend had made for him. They were at Roman's house watching the game but he couldn't kick the unsettling feeling that was in the pit of his stomach, knowing what his friend had done.
Roman glanced over at John, his brow creased. "What do you mean?"
"I mean you letting Seth stay here after everything that he did." John answered. His blue eyes met Roman's grey orbs and he felt bad for pointing out the obvious when he saw the wave of sadness streak across the all knowing orbs.
Roman let out a heavy sigh. "He has nowhere to go right now, John."
"That shouldn't be your problem." John quickly countered. "He's not your boyfriend anymore. You shouldn't be the one picking his life back up and helping him."
"It's only for a month." Roman said quietly.
"Who are you trying to convince Rome? Me or you?" John gave him a pointed look. "I'm not trying to step on your toes or tell you what to do or anything, I'm just concerned for you." He let out a heavy sigh of his own. "I know you still love him. It's as clear as day but I don't want you to fall into the trap of being with him again."
"I would never go back with him John." Roman reasoned. "No matter how much I still love him, no matter how much I will probably still love him for the rest of my life. It's over between us. He violated my trust and broke my heart. There's no chapter two for us. We're done."
"Good." Was all John said as he took another long sip from his glass. The tension between them was still quite thick and he almost wished he hadn't said anything at all. But he couldn't resist. He never could. "Is it awkward between you two?"
"To be honest, I barely see him." Roman responded. "He's usually gone before I get up and he's usually not here when I get home. I think he's got himself a second job to try and get out of here quicker."
"What did he think of your quick redecorating?" John asked out of curiosity.
Roman could still vividly remember when Seth had walked through the doors just over a week ago.
Roman walked towards the door, the hard rapping on the wooden door making his stomach clench uncomfortably. He knew that what he was doing was wrong. It was just plain stupid but he couldn't not help Seth. His heart was too kind to resist human compassion and empathy. His heart felt like it was beating out of his chest as he reached the door, his hand closing over the brass knob, a flick of the wrist turning the knob open.
Seth's face appeared in the gap as he pulled the door open. His ex's face looked haggard and tired, the same bags under his eyes from earlier this morning. Roman could see that he was trying to pull a gratuitous smile but he failing. He appreciated the gesture anyway. He stepped to the side and allowed his ex-boyfriend to fully step into his house before he closed the door behind him.
Seth's brown orbs instantly went to the walls on either side of entrance hallway. They were empty. His stomach lurched uncomfortably. It had only been three days and the pictures were already gone. He was already gone out of Roman's life. Every picture he knew would have been ripped down and was probably sitting in the trash can, ready to go to the dump. He swallowed down the lump in his throat, tears prickling at the corners of his eyes.
"Are you alright Seth?" Roman's voice was still kind. Even though he had absolutely no right to be.
Seth turned his head to look at his ex. He knew he looked downright pathetic right now. He needed to get out of there. "Am I just staying in the guest room upstairs?"
"Yes." Roman answered. He'd barely gotten out the one syllable word when he saw Seth walk away from him.
The look of absolute hurt on Seth's face made him feel ill. He knew that Seth would have seen that the photos were gone. He knew that that must have been what had set him off. He felt bad. But at the same time he didn't. He knew that he must have looked a thousand times worse than that on Friday night. He just didn't have an audience.
He let out a heavy sigh. This was going to be a hard month.
"Roman?" John's voice snapped him out of his trance.
"Oh, um, he didn't say too much when he saw it." Roman quickly answered. He lifted his glass to his lips and drained the last of his glass. The bitter taste of alcohol staying in the back of his throat.
"Are you alright?" John's voice sounded quite concerned.
Roman merely shrugged as an answer. "Do you want another drink?"
"Uh, sure." John answered. He drained the last of his own glass before he handed the empty one back to his friend.
Roman took the glass and left the room. At the same time, he heard the front door open right up before it closed. He didn't hear a word from the front living room so he supposed either John didn't see him or didn't bother to pay too much attention. He tried to calm his thoughts as he walked into the kitchen.
He was too busy making the drinks for himself and John that he didn't hear the footsteps race down the stairs or into the kitchen. It was only that he happened to look up that he saw Seth standing there in the kitchen, awkwardly trying to sneak around him to get to the fridge. "You know, we don't have to sneak around each other." He pointed out to the younger man.
"I just don't want things to be awkward between us." Seth responded.
"Well it's probably a bit too late for that." Roman simply replied as he put the bottles of alcohol away.
"Is there someone else here?" Seth asked curiously, noting the two glasses that Roman had. He couldn't help but feel his heart fluttering in his chest.
"John's here. We're watching the game." Roman answered. "You can come in and watch it with us if you want to."
"Uh. No thanks." Seth politely declined. "John never liked me much anyway."
"That's a lie actually. He always liked you up until you did what you did." Roman replied. "Do you have to work again tonight?"
Seth shook his head. "No. But I'm going out."
"Well have fun." Roman shot him a smile as he picked up the two glasses and began to move out of the kitchen.
"Don't you want to know where I'm going?" Seth called out to him.
"It's not my business." Roman merely replied, not even bothering to turn around to look at his ex.
Seth watched Roman leave the room, his stomach doing back flips as he contemplated his decision. He'd made plans earlier in the week to spend his one night off with one person in particular but right now, even after everything, it didn't seem like it was worth it. He was still messing around with the man who ruined his relationship even though his ex-boyfriend had been kind enough to allow him to stay in his old house.
He grabbed the bottle of water from the fridge, taking a long gulp before he made up his decision. He had to find out if everything that he thought, everything that he felt for Dean was actually real. He needed to know if the feelings that he thought was reciprocated actually were. He made his way out of the kitchen, his brown eyes sneaking into the living room, locking with Roman's for the shortest period of time before he left the house.
He made his way over to his car, unlocked it and slid onto the seats. His mind was racing a million miles an hour, trying to comprehend what it would even feel like if he got rejected like his deepest fears told him he would. He tried to focus on driving and on the song that was on the radio but it only made him more anxious and more nervous. The only positive was that he would get his answer before too long.
He pulled his car into the familiar driveway, parking in the usual spot that he always did. It felt odd coming here for the first time after everything that had gone down after the breakdown of his relationship but the same butterflies were still there. They'd been a little more reckless the few times they'd shared together, going out in public and doing the things they were never really able to. He slowly killed the ignition, taking a long deep breath before he opened the door and stepped out onto the driveway.
He closed the car door, the sound of the door latching echoing much louder than he knew it probably was. He made his way towards the front door, his heart still racing hard in his chest as he closed the gap and knocked firmly on the heavy, wooden door. He could hear the footsteps from behind the door and it only made his heart race harder.
Less than a minute later, the door creaked open and revealed Dean's face. The older man's face cracked into a happy smile after barely a moment. Seth's own face reflected the happy smile like he was a mirror, like they were two matching pieces of a puzzle. His heart still raced in his chest as he stepped inside of the large house, a feeling of warmth and familiarity overwhelming him.
"So wha-" Dean barely got the door closed when he felt Seth's lips press against his. His blue orbs fluttered shut and he couldn't deny that the feeling of their lips touching once more made him feel like his skin was on fire. It had felt like too long had passed since the last time they'd kissed like this.
His hands immediately went to rest on Seth's hips, pulling their bodies flush together as their eyes fluttered closed. He'd never quite felt this much passion between them in all the time that they had been messing around together. Not even the time that Seth had given himself over to him completely. One hand slid down to grab at Seth's ass, a grunt forcing its way out of his mouth as he felt their hardening cocks brush against each other.
Seth's hands clutched harder at Dean's shoulders, his brown eyes closed in perfect ecstasy as he melted into the kiss. Every inch of his body felt electric, his skin prickling up and his heart hammering hard in his chest. He could feel that something that was lingering around them and he knew what he was doing was right. This felt so right. He'd felt bad when he'd done what he'd done to Roman but whatever he had with Dean, he knew was true.
Dean was the first to break the kiss, a knowing smirk on his lips. "Well I know what you want to do."
Seth grinned right back at him, their brown and blue orbs connecting in an intense stare off. His heart was hammering so hard in his chest he was sure Dean could hear it as well. "Did you feel that?"
Dean's brow creased. "Feel what?"
"That spark." Seth answered brightly. "That bolt of electricity that went between us when our lips touched. You can't say you couldn't feel your heart racing every time we kiss."
Dean gave him a look, pretending as if what Seth was saying was untrue. "Seth."
"What? C'mon Dean. I know you feel this." Seth tried to reason, only meeting a blank stare in those blue orbs.
Dean pulled his hands off of Seth and stepped away from the younger man. He could see the hurt in Seth's pretty brown eyes and it only made his heart hurt in his chest. But this is what he had to do. He couldn't string Seth along if he could never fulfill what it was the younger man wanted from him. He heard the footsteps behind him as he walked into the living room, taking a seat on the black leather couch.
Seth took his own seat on the couch across from Dean. He could feel the tension between them, his stomach swirling in nervous anticipation from it. This wasn't how he thought this would go at all. He took a deep breath. "I like you Dean. I like you a lot." He started. It was now or never. "I thought that now everything was done between Roman and I that it would be our turn."
Dean took a deep breath. He knew he was going to upset Seth and that was the last thing he wanted to do. But that was what he had to do. "I never went into this wanting a relationship with you Seth." He started. He saw the brown orbs start to waver slightly. "I went into what we did just to have fun. I'm married and well-"
"Why are you even married to that bitch for anyway?!" Seth snapped, cutting in on whatever it was that Dean was about to say. "I thought you liked men and she's not a man. You could be happy with me and you're throwing that all away for her."
"I can't give you what you want Seth." Dean responded bluntly. "You want someone who will give you their complete and utter devotion. You want someone who will give you the world and that person is not me. You had that person in Roman and you gave it away. I can't ever give you what he gave you."
"I cheated on my fucking boyfriend for you and you give me some lame ass excuse?!" Seth's voice was growing louder and louder with each word. "At first, I wasn't sure that you felt anything for me but before we got caught, I knew that there was something between us. You're a fucking liar if you can sit there and tell me you have no feelings for me."
"Look Seth, I like hanging out with you. I do." Dean started. "But I don't want anything serious. I just want to have fun." He could see the hurt and the glare in Seth's eyes. "I'm sorry that I ruined your relationship. But all I wanted was a little fun with you."
"You're a fucking dick." Seth snapped. "I fucking like you and I know you like me. You're just a coward whose too scared what other people think to actually do what makes him happy." He let out a loud sigh. "Why the fuck did I fall for you?"
Dean didn't say a word. He wished he could take it all back and tell Seth that everything was a lie. He did feel that same way about Seth but he couldn't ever tell him. The thought terrified him beyond belief.
"You know what? I'm done." Seth said as he stood up. "You cost me my relationship. You cost me everything. Delete my number out of your phone."
Seth didn't even stay to hear what Dean might say. He turned on his heel and stormed out of the expensive, lavish house, making sure he slammed the front door extra hard as he walked back over to his car. He just wanted to get away from here and get back home, lock himself up in his room and spend the rest of the night alone.
His drive from Dean's house back to Roman's was short although it was probably helped by the fact that he did over the speed limit all the way home. His brown eyes were streaming tears from them, his realization that he'd lost everything hitting him all at once. He thought for sure that Dean would want to be with him but he was incredibly wrong. He slid into his usual parking spot, taking a deep breath before he turned off the car and walked back into the house.
Roman glanced out of the door when he heard the front door open. He watched Seth charge through into sight, the front door slamming hard behind him before he power walked through the rest of the house. He knew that the younger man was upset. He'd seen Seth react like this many times before. He was also painfully aware that John's blue eyes were watching his every move. He took in a deep breath. "I'm just going to go to the toilet."
"You don't have to go running to him Roman." John pointed out. "He's a big boy who needs to take care of himself."
Roman stood up. "You don't get to tell me what to do."
John merely rolled his eyes as he watched his friend walk out of the room. It was a losing battle and he knew it. He wouldn't be surprised if Roman ended up back with Seth despite the Samoan man's protests.
Roman made his way through his house, easily closing the distance between the living room and the guest room upstairs. He came to a halt outside of what was now Seth's bedroom, his heart beating hard in his chest as he silently listened from outside of the door for a few moments. He could hear the muffled sobbing that was coming from inside of the room and it made his heart hurt.
He let out a heavy exhale before he reached up and knocked three times on the door. The sobbing stopped and then there was a muffled "come in" that was called out to him. He opened the door and stepped inside of the room. It felt strange to be in here when Seth was in here. He glanced over at the bed and saw that Seth was sitting up, wiping away the tears that were still cascading down his cheeks. "What happened?"
"Nothing." Seth blurted out without thinking. He felt the stern gaze from Roman's grey orbs and he knew that Roman wouldn't let it slide despite the fact that they were no longer dating. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his tears that were spilling from his eyes. He turned to look at Roman, their brown and grey orbs locking as they stared at each other. "I'm really sorry for what I did to you Roman."
Roman shook his head. "We don't need to go down this path again Seth."
"But I need to tell you." Seth started. "I realize now just how good I had it with you and I really want you to know that if I could turn back time, I would never do what I did. I'm sorry Roman. You were my everything."
Roman had a confused look on his face. "What do you mean 'you realize now'?"
"Well." Seth answered. He could feel his heart hammering in his chest, one wrong slip and Roman would know exactly why he was upset. Roman would know why he had this sudden epiphany. "You gave me everything I could have ever wanted and needed for six years and when I threw it all away, I realized how little I actually had."
Roman gave him a skeptical look. "You went to Dean's house tonight, didn't you?"
Seth's brown eyes widened. He almost couldn't believe that the words had left Roman's lips. "Wh-what made you ask that?"
"Look, it's none of my business what you want to do with your spare time." Roman started. "But don't you dare come into my house, crying that you're sorry for what you did to me when we both know it's a lie." He paused for a moment. "He turned you down, didn't he?"
"Seeing him tonight made me realize that you were the only one for me, Roman." Seth tried to counter.
"Only because he turned you down." Roman shot back.
Seth took a deep breath. "But-"
"No buts." Roman cut him off. "You had better be out of my house by the end of the month. Your stay officially becomes unwelcome December first."
Seth watched him walk out of the room, the door closing behind him. He collapsed back down onto the bed, face first as more tears fell from his brown orbs. He knew that there was no one else to blame for this except himself.
TBC
A/N: At least Roman's not falling into Seth's grip anymore. I always looking forward to seeing what you guys think! That was the second last chapter, sorry to keep you guys waiting. Thank you to everyone for reading and reviewing! GatesVengeance x