I know I said it would be up yesterday, but hey - what's one day difference?

It's still the quickest update I've had in... well, since I started writing this story really :P

Thanks for your reviews, and I just want to clarify something - when I said that your guys' reviews helped me feel at least a bit better, I meant that more often than not they made me feel a hell of a lot better. Sometimes they were the only thing keeping me going. Most days, they were the only positive encouragement I would get. So really, they mean the world to me. More than anything. I love you guys, thank you.

Anyways, on with the story! c:

Edward hadn't come down for dinner.

I called him a couple times, with no reply.

I knocked on his door and said, "Edward, dinner's ready. Please come eat."

Faint words had floated through the door from somewhere inside his room.

"No thanks."

I sighed.

"May I come in?"

I could practically hear him shrugging.

"If you really want to." was his tired reply.

I slowly turned the doorknob and gave the door a push, bracing myself for what I might find.

The room looked like it had been trashed.

Books were scattered everywhere, along with papers that had been torn. The drawers were spilling out of his desk, and the only source of light was that of the lamp which had once sat on the bedside table. Now the lamp lay on the floor, the shade that once hung on it was nowhere in sight.

Even the bedding had been flung. Pillows were randomly scattered, the stuffing ripping out of some and the comforter was buried underneath a pile of clothes.

The window was open and a strong wind was blowing in from the darkness, causing the curtains to wrestle for their stability and failing miserably.

Edward was lying on his mattress, which was like an island amongst the chaos, and staring at the ceiling.

I stood in the doorway, on the sidelines of the wreckage.

My mouth had fallen open from shock.

I closed it, and recollected myself.

I looked to Edward in a mixture of confusion, shock, and concern.

The silence was heavy.

I stared at the blonde alchemist for a few minutes, waiting for him to speak.

He didn't.

I surveyed the room again, and saw the pack of cigarettes by the window sill - it was now empty. A lighter was next to it.

It was now that the strong smell of cigarette smoke hit me.

I looked back at Edward and noticed something I hadn't before.

A knife lay on the floor next to the bed.

I stared at the object for a few moments, a feeling of dread sinking right through to my bones.

My head was reeling.

I had to catch myself on the doorframe, leaning against it for support as I took in the dark reality of what Edward had done.

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath.

I slowly opened my eyes and forced myself to look at Edward.

He was wearing his black sleeveless top, leaving his arms exposed.

I slowly dragged my line of sight to his left wrist.

A long, dark crimson gash ran vertically along the inside of his forearm. I couldn't see very well from where I was standing, but I just knew that he had more than likely cut the artery in his wrist.

He wanted to bleed to death.

But that wasn't the only cut.

Now, his entire left arm was covered in gashes, running all around his forearm like a form of morbid bracelets - only choppier.

The amount of blood that had soaked into the mattress was gruesome, to say the least.

"Edward..." I quietly spoke, my voice full of heartbreak.

He remained staring at the ceiling, silent.

I stepped into the room, breaking the tangible barrier between me and the disaster.

I picked my way over to his bed, and knelt beside it.

I was at a loss for words.

It was even bloodier up close.

How he even had that arm left I didn't know - it was completely raw with cuts. Cuts that were freely bleeding, cuts that had scabbed over, and cuts that might have once been healed.

I was having difficulty breathing.

I looked at the young boy whose eyes had lost all life.

Eyes that once held such fire, such determination, such love...

But now they were empty. Lifeless.

I reached out my hand and shakily brushed the hair out of his eyes, leaving my hand to rest on his head.

I decided to test out my voice, feeling my eyes pricking with tears.

"What can I do... I... I just..." My voice was shaking with emotion. I was now crying. "I just want to be able to help you, Edward. I wish I could make all the pain in your life go away. I wish I could fix it. I just want to see you happy again. You have so much potential... It kills me that you don't see that. Not to mention how many people love and care for you." I paused to take a deep breath, which allowed Edward to finally speak.

"Like who?" He said, his tone bitter.

I was about to say something, but he cut me off.

"Al? Winry? They don't give a damn about me anymore. They hate me. The only person who might've actually given a shit about me, you took away from me. And now I'm left with nothing. Again." A tear slid down his face, dropping onto the fabric of the mattress.

I stared at him, silent with shock.

"...You still have me."

Edward laughed bitterly.

"Right. My supervising officer. The person who's only looking after me because I don't have anyone else. I'm only here right now because the fucking Doctor told you to take me in. You didn't want me. You didn't have a choice. You had to take me in. All I am to you is a burden. I'm just some sad story. My entire life is a sad story. I'm pathetic."

His words stung. Is that what he thought of me? That I only let him in because I thought it was my job?

"Is that all I am to you? Edward... I genuinely care about you. I could've left you at the hospital if I didn't want you to live with me. But I did want you. I wanted to be able to take care of you. I wanted to... I wanted to be able to make you happier, to make you see that you're not a 'sad story'. Don't you see you're so much more than that? Yes you've made mistakes, and yes you've paid a high price - higher than most people have ever had to pay their entire lives. But who hasn't made mistakes? You were just a kid when you came up with the transmutation circle for human transmutation. Sure, it's a taboo, but... You have one of the brightest minds that alchemy has ever seen. Not to mention you're the most caring, genuine person I know. You're not afraid to stick up for what's right. And you never leave the ones you love. You know so much for someone your age. You're the strongest person I know."

"How the hell am I strong when here I am lying in my blood because of something I did to myself?"

"...Because you have the courage to feel. You have the courage to explore the darker recesses of the mind, even if it means finding something that could kill you. You're very intellectual, especially when it comes to yourself."

Edward sighed.

"You can stop trying to make me feel better about myself. Thanks, but it's not really helping."

I nodded, falling back into silence.

Suddenly Edward's body convulsed.

I stared at him, confusion and fear filling my body.

When his body shifted, something rolled off the bed and hit the floor.

I looked at the object.

An empty bottle of prescription pills.

I reached for the bottle.

It once held Edward's anti-depressants.

Edward smiled at me. A sick, twisted and sad smile.

"Guess I really am as good as dead now, huh?"

I stared at the teenager.

This is what he wanted.

He wanted to die.

But that's not what I wanted.

I quickly stood up and gently scooped the alchemist into my arms, careful of his wounds.

He protested.

"Wait - what are you doing? You're too late, please just let me lie down. You can't save me... Please... Don't take me back to the hospital... I just want to die. I want to stop feeling everything at once. I want peace. Please..."

What started out as indignant protest turned to him crying in my arms.

I looked at the boy, trying to understand what could possibly motivate someone to kill themselves. Trying to understand what made them give up hope.

"I'm not letting you die. Not like this. Not right now. I love you too much, Edward. I can't stand the thought of you being dead. I won't allow it."

As I said those words, I had made it down the stairs and was now closing the front door behind me.

Edward stared at me, eyes full of both tears and shock as he took in what I had just said.

I don't think he ever realized that I love and care for him.

And right now, it was starting to sink in.

Edward wasn't alone. He would never be alone, even if that was what he wanted.

I loved Edward as if he was my own son.

I wasn't about to let him give up on his life so easily. Not if I could help it.

Welp.

There's that chapter.

Let me know what you all think!

Leave me some reviews c:

-HazelEyes8D