Sorry for the delay on this chapter, everyone here at my house has had the stomach flu and my youngest daughter, who is only 18 months old had a febrile seizure a few days ago and 911 was called. It was scary, really scary, but she's alright now.
Thank you to all the readers who reviewed last chapter, I love that you guys took the time out to do it and let me know what you thought. Some of your suggestions have actually helped me add a little more to the story. To all the new readers, I'm glad to have you.
This chapter has a lot of mature situations including abuse so if you're under 18 stop reading.
As always Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and its characters, but this story is mine and is only meant to have a little fun with her characters.
EPOV
The dark quiet of my apartment was suffocating me. I missed Bella and I just left her a mere two hours ago. Sleep wasn't going to come; I had resigned myself to that. Glancing at the clock on my nightstand I noticed I only had two hours before I had to be up and get ready for work so I decided to just get up and go for a run. Throwing on my running shorts, shoes, t-shirt and hoodie I did my pre-run stretches before grabbing my phone and keys and headed out into the cold Seattle morning. I ran 5 miles, letting my mind take over. Something was bugging me and I couldn't quite pinpoint what it was. I was happy, I finally had Bella for my own, sure I was concerned over all of her baggage, but she was a well rounded person, I've gotten to know her in the past few months and other than the accidental overdose and nightmares, or flashbacks as she called them, she was for all intents and purposes completely normal. Jasper did tell me that they never slept together because she wasn't ready, I was happy about that at the time but now that I'm thinking about it, it made me wonder what her motives were for holding off on the physical stuff with Jasper and would she hold out on me too. Not that it's all about sex for me, but I wanted every piece of her, I was desperate for her to open up to me and show me all the things that made her tick. I was looking forward to learning everything I could about her, including all the ways I could make her body sing. I resolved myself to talk to her, get her to talk to me about her past and help her work through it the best I could.
Back at my apartment I took a nice hot shower and got ready to head over to the office. I wasn't due at the hospital today but I did have a full day of patients to keep me busy. I was so busy during the first half of the day with sick patients coming in and out of my office that I hadn't checked the time, I was currently sitting at my desk updating my notes in the charts since it was quiet for the time being when Jane, my receptionist rang in.
"Hey Heidi."
"Dr. Cullen, you have a visitor."
"I thought my schedule was clear for the next two hours Heidi. I really need to update these charts, have whoever it is make an appointment." I said in a clipped tone. The time when the office closed down for a couple of hours was the only time I could catch up on paperwork.
"I think you'll want to see this visitor Dr. Cullen. Trust me." Heidi's tone was chipper, and while that wasn't a rare occurrence she didn't like being interrupted during lunch either. Heidi is a student at UW; she takes night classes and works here during the day to pay the bills. Heidi has an adorable little boy named Alec who is five, her husband is overseas with the Marines and his pay doesn't quite cover all of their household bills. With a five year old at home, working full time and going to school she rarely has time for her school work. I was happy to let her have the lunch time to work on it.
With a sigh I said, "Alright, send them in." A minute later there was a light knock on my office door. "Come in." When I looked up to greet my visitor I gasped at the vision before me. "What are you doing here?" I asked, my voice full of surprise, at least I hoped that's how it came off.
"I missed you and thought maybe you'd want to have lunch with me." Bella asked, walking further into my office, then taking a seat across from me. She was wearing a form fitting low v-neck shirt and a mid thigh flowy skirt. I'm not sure flowy is even a word, but hey, it aptly described her skirt that had ridden up as she crossed her legs and I was equally cursing and thanking the maker of said skirt because of the view I was getting of her long, lean, beautiful legs. "Edward? Earth to Edward." Her hand was now waving in front of my face. I guess I got too caught up in ogling her legs for a second there.
"Huh? Oh, lunch. YES! Lunch sounds perfect. Where did you want to go love?"
"I was hoping you wouldn't mind staying in, I brought food and thought we could do a make-shift picnic in here. If that's alright with you?" She seemed shy all of a sudden.
"Actually I have a better idea. Let me take that stuff and follow me, I know the perfect spot." It was the perfect spot too, just behind the building there was a small secluded grassy area, it was hidden behind a lot of tall trees, you wouldn't even know it was there if you weren't looking. "I found this place about a year ago after I lost my first patient. I was a mess afterwards and needed some air, I went for a walk and I stumbled onto this place. I come here now whenever I need to think and clear my head."
"How often do you come here now?"
"Well for the past few months I've been coming here a lot to think about things." I answered, purposely being vague.
"What did you think about?" She asked.
"You." I said matter of factly.
"Me?" It sounded like she squeaked, it made me laugh. "Don't laugh at me. What about me were you thinking Dr. Cullen?" Bella trailed her hand down my arm, starting at my shoulder, it was slow and it left a trail of fire in her wake. When her hand touched mine I gripped it, intertwining our fingers and brought her hand to my lips for a kiss.
"Hmm. Well I thought about how beautiful you are." We reached the clearing and she gasped, it really was beautiful here. I grabbed the blanket from her, the only thing I allowed her to carry in fact and spread it on the ground, then placed the basket on top of it before sitting down myself. Bella followed and sat down beside me.
"What else did you think about?" She pressed, she started taking things out of the basket and I had to say I was impressed. There was a Tupperware container full of what looked like potato salad; she then pulled out a green salad, two bottles of water, and pieces of roasted chicken, it looked delicious and my mouth was watering already. I didn't realize how hungry I actually was until I smelled that chicken.
"Wow, this looks amazing. Did you make all this?"
"Yep. There's dessert too if you're a good boy. Now what were we talking about?" She put her finger to her chin in thought. "Oh yes, you were telling me about what you thought about when you came here. Please continue."
"Are you fishing for compliments Miss. Swan?" I leaned in closer to her, looking directly into her soulful brown eyes.
"Who me? Never!"
"Mmhm, sure. Let's see, where was I? Oh yes. I thought about how when you sing the rest of the world falls away and all I see and hear is you. I thought about killing Jasper because when I thought about his hands on you it made my skin crawl and to be honest I'm a jealous fuck sometimes." She raised an eyebrow at me. "Okay, most of the time." Again with the raised eyebrow. This woman doesn't believe any of my bullshit and for some reason it makes me love her even more. "Okay, okay all of the time. You can let some of them go you know."
"Not a chance. So let's see you thought about how beautiful I am, which really is just ridiculous, my singing voice and killing Jasper. Is that it?"
"Well there is also the tiny issue of how much I want to kiss you, touch you and do things that we certainly aren't ready for, but God how I want to. These are the thoughts that plague my mind constantly, not just when I'm here." I told her honestly, leaning into her. Bella blushed, but looked down at her lap, but I was having none of that. With my index finger placed under her chin, I nudged her beautiful face up so I could see her. "Much better." I placed a gentle kiss on her lips when she finally looked at me.
"Edward…" Bella whimpered. "What are you doing to me?"
"What am I doing to you?" I asked seductively, or at least I hoped it was seductive.
"Fuck."
"Not yet baby, but I sure as hell plan on it." Bella's breathing seemed to be increasing and I hadn't even touched her or kissed her, other than the soft kiss a minute ago. It was a boost to my ego to be able to get her so worked up with just my words. "Let's eat." I dug into the delicious food before me as Bella calmed down. Her face was noticeably flushed, I held back on laughing, knowing it would just get me in trouble and we couldn't have that, now could we? "This is so good Bella. Thank you for making this and bringing it here. Nobody has ever brought me a picnic to work before."
"I'm glad I could be your first Edward." The blush crept up on her face again, it was too fucking cute. "I had another reason coming here."
"What, you didn't just miss me? I'm hurt Bella."
"Oh shut up. Of course I missed you, but I wanted to talk to you about Jasper. I thought we should maybe think about what we're going to tell him and I really would like to have this done and over with sooner than later."
"Agreed. What do you think we should tell him?" I asked. I knew what I thought we should say, but I wanted to hear her thoughts and it looked like she had taken a lot into consideration on this topic. I know it's important to her, setting the record straight so we could all move on.
"I was thinking that we don't go into details, just give him the basics you know, that we kissed a couple of times but nothing else happened until he and I were broken up. I mean he knows that we both have feelings for each other and that they started a while ago."
"I think that sounds perfect. It was pretty much what I was thinking too. He's well aware of how I feel about you, then and now, no use rubbing his nose in it. Plus kissing is fairly innocent, right?" The raised eyebrow made another appearance, yeah; I didn't think that was going to fly with her.
"Edward, we kissed…passionately…while I had a boyfriend. That kiss made my damn legs turn into jell-o. I felt more in those kisses with you than I ever had with anyone before .life. They weren't innocent."
"Legs into Jell-o, huh?" I smirked at her. She blushed again; I was really loving that I could get that reaction out of her.
"Will you shut it? Jeez. Yes, you're a good kisser, it's not like you don't know this already you egomaniac." We had already finished eating, so we both started cleaning up. I left the kissing compliment alone for the time being, but you can bet your ass I was going to be going back to that at some point.
"Where's my dessert?"
"I don't know if you deserve dessert. You weren't very good." She said teasingly, the twinkle in her eye told me she wanted to play and if that's what she wanted then I would give it to her.
"I think I've been good, but I guess I could be better. If it'll help that is." I got on my hands and knees, crawling slowly over to her.
"Well I don't know, you'd have to be really, really good."
"I think I can handle that." I was right in front of her now; she shifted a bit, leaning back, her arms behind her, legs stretched out in front of her. I crawled over her legs, letting my hand caress her exposed skin as I went. When I finally made it up her body she was looking at me with an intensity that would have brought me to my knees had I not already been here. Her eyes were dark; her bottom lip in between her teeth and her skin was flushed again. Bella's breathing started to speed up as I looked at her, wanting to memorize every piece her. Suddenly I couldn't take it anymore, I needed to taste her, I pushed forward, my lips slamming onto hers with a force that made her fall back. She squeaked when she hit the ground and for a moment I thought I hurt her, but when she smiled and pulled me down to her then let out a little giggle I knew she was fine. Our kisses were soft, but quickly grew intense when her tongue darted out, she licked my bottom lip and not being one who could ever resist her I opened up to her, letting her tongue mingle with mine. I moaned when her left leg hooked around my waist. I could feel the heat of her core on my groin and I pushed my rock hard erection into her.
"Oh God. Edward!" I pushed into her again, my mouth lavishing her neck with kisses. My need to mark her was strong but I didn't think she would appreciate a big hickey on her neck. "I need more. Please!" If more is what she wants then that's what I would give her. I moved my hand from her hip to her breast, massaging and kneading her, her nipple pebbled underneath my hand. My lips went back to hers as I pinched her nipple, and then rolled it between my thumb and forefinger. "Oh yeah. Just like that." She moaned.
"You like that baby?" Bella just mmm'ed in response and rolled her hips into mine. "You feel so good Bella."
"You do too." The realization of what we were doing finally hit me, I wasn't going to have our first time here, outside, right behind my office building. I wanted to take my time with her, make her feel worshiped and loved, preferably on a bed, so I eased off and unhooked her leg from behind me. "Wha-what are you doing?"
"We need to stop; I don't want to get carried away." Her face immediately dropped, like I was rejecting her. "No, no, Bella. I just want to do this right with you. I want to take my time with you, worship you and I can't do that here. I need to get back to the office soon and I know you have a lesson to get to, plus we are essentially behind my office building and anyone could come back here and see us."
"Oh, okay." She said shyly. I kissed her again and jumped up. She took my offered hand and sat back up. "I think you earned your dessert." I smiled, wondering what she brought. When she brought it out of the basket I about lost it.
"Is that…? Oh shit, please tell me that is what I think it is."
"It's homemade red velvet cupcakes." I moaned at the mention of my favorite dessert. "I take it you like those." I attacked her again, kissing her with everything I had. When I let her up she giggled again. "I take it that's a yes?"
"That's a HELL YES!" She handed over the cupcake and I just about shoved the whole cupcake in my mouth. "Mmmm, shooo kooof"
"What?" Bella laughed, crumbs from the cupcake were flying out of my mouth when I tried to tell her how good the cupcake was. Once I had swallowed the huge bite I had taken I took a big gulp of water and wiped my mouth I was finally able to answer her.
"I said that, that was so good." Then I proceeded to shove the rest of it in my mouth. I closed my eyes as the flavors all melted in my mouth.
"You're adorable." I opened my eyes and stared at Bella like she was crazy. How could she possibly think that a grown man with half a cupcake shoved in his mouth is adorable? "What, you are. You, uh..have a little something." She pointed to a spot on my face, I reached up to get it, but she stopped me. "Uh uh. Let me." She moved closer to me and licked the corner of my mouth, moaning as the taste of cupcake hit her tongue. "Delicious."
"You're making it extremely difficult for me not to take you right here in this field."
She just got a wicked smile on her face and I was about to jump her and say the hell with it when my phone rang. "Damn it!" I yelled. I looked at the caller ID, groaning when I saw it was Heidi. "Sorry, I have to get this." Bella just smiled at me and started cleaning up again. "Hello."
"I'm sorry to interrupt Dr. Cullen, but your next patient just arrived, I told her she was early but she insisted that she wasn't and wanted to know where you were."
"Okay, thanks Heidi. I'll be right there." I hung up the phone and gathered up the blanket, folding it neatly while Bella got the rest of the stuff in the basket. "Thank you Bella."
"You're welcome." I grabbed her around the waist, pulling her to me and kissed her. She wasted no time deepening it, I pulled away giving her one more chaste kiss on the lips before taking the basket from her and making the short walk back to my office hand in hand. "I guess I have to let you get back to work now, don't I?"
"Unfortunately baby. I would love nothing more than to spend the entire day with you though. Can I call you later?"
"You better." She kissed my lips one last time, gave my hand a squeeze and walked to her car. "Bye Edward. Have a good rest of the day."
"Bye Bella. Have a good lesson with Jane. I'll call you when I'm off work, love."
BPOV
Dear God the things that man can do with his mouth and hands. Ugh! I just want those hands and mouth all over me all the time. To be perfectly honest, the feelings he brings out in me scare the shit out of me. After Jamie I never thought I'd ever want another man's hands on me, but this afternoon with Edward was nothing short of spectacular. He was literally all over me and I wanted more, so much more. I was so disappointed when he said he didn't want to get carried away, but I understood, because I wanted our first time to be special too. The things I wanted to do to that man's body…ugh I can't go there right now. I'm already hot and bothered thinking about our time together this afternoon and I had a lesson with Jane to get ready for, being turned on was not going to do me any good at the lesson.
"Hey Bella!" Speak of the devil.
"Hi Jane. How was your week?" I asked, getting things ready for her lesson. Jane was fun to teach, she liked the newer stuff so that's what we played. Her favorite is The Killers, great band so I enjoyed our lessons, not that there was anything wrong with the classics, but she's young and identifies more with the newer songs.
"It was great. I practiced for hours, I just couldn't seem to get that song from last week right, but I think I finally nailed it last night. Let me show you." She said excitedly, it put a smile on my face; she really is such a great student.
"I can't wait. Show me what 'cha got girl."
She played Only Human and damn if the girl didn't nail it. "I'm speechless Jane. Oh my god, you nailed that song. Do you have any idea how incredible it is that you got it perfect in only a week?" Jane giggled and blushed from the compliment.
"Thanks. I really wanted to get it right. So what else do you have for me?" I pulled out the music for Spaceman, it's the song she keeps asking for and we were finally going to play it. And that's exactly what we did for the next hour.
"Spill." Rose demanded as soon as I got home from my lesson with Jane.
"What are you talking about?"
"Don't act dumb Bella. Tay told me about your little lunch date, now I want details." She poured me a glass of wine; she already had one and a bottle on the coffee table, she was obviously waiting for me. She was curled up on the couch, her legs tucked in under her.
I huffed and sat down. There was no way I was getting away with not spilling the details of what went down with Edward. "Okay. I surprised him at his office, my original thought was just to have a make-shift picnic in his office, but instead we went to this clearing behind his office building and before you say anything, it was really nice, it was secluded, trees everywhere, it was perfect."
"That's so sweet Bella. Now get to the good stuff."
"My god Rose, he is just…ugh! He's fucking amazing. We made out…a lot and holy shit it was good. He's got these great hands and when he touches me." I shivered at just the thought of what those hands could do to me.
"So did you guys have sex?"
"No, he said he wanted to be in a bed, make it special you know. He said he wanted to worship me. I have never in my life had someone say that to me or make me feel so wanted and special. I just know when we finally do have sex it's going to be unbelievable." I'm sure I had a far off look on my face as I thought about having sex with Edward; it was going to good, really good.
"Wow." Rose said, she looked like she was on cloud nine right along with me.
"Yeah." I replied, my voice barely a whisper as I continued thinking about it. "What's happening with you and Emmett?"
"Lots of great sex now that he's back. Good lord I don't think that man needs any recovery time. I'm sore from all the shmexin." She got the same far off look on her face that I was sure I had only moments ago. "I think he's the one B."
This was a hugging moment, so that's what we did; I leaned over and hugged my best friend. "That's so great Rose. I'm so happy for you."
"Me too. I never thought I would find anything like this."
We talked more about the progress of her relationship, she was certain that Emmett was going to ask her to move in with him soon and as much as I was sad to be losing my roomie I was happy for her. I was by myself here for a long time before she moved here and I was fine, besides that just meant that Edward and I didn't have to be quiet whenever he was here and we were doing…things. (wink, wink). We finished off the bottle of wine then Rose said she had a date with Emmett that she needed to get ready for. Forty five minutes later she was waving goodbye and telling me not to wait up for her.
My phone rang at six thirty and I all but ran to go get it, I knew who it was without even looking at the screen.
"Hi" I answered breathlessly, okay, so I actually did run to get it. What? Don't judge, you would too if someone as hot as Edward was calling you, don't lie and say you wouldn't, cause I'd call bullshit.
"You okay baby? You sound a little winded." He was sweet sounding all worried about me.
"Yeah, I just had to run to get the phone in time." Not to mention I was excited to hear your voice. I didn't say that last part out loud, that would just be embarrassing.
"Damn and I thought maybe you were just really excited to talk to me." I could almost see the smirk on the other end of the phone.
"Well you do have a sexy voice." I told him.
"Do I now?" He replied low and seductively. Damn my panties are already wet and he's not even here.
"Oh yes. Very sexy." I purred in response, hoping I was having the same effect on him that he was on me.
"Good to know. I'll have to keep that locked up for later. Right now though, I wanted to make sure you were doing okay."
"I'm fantastic Edward. I had a really amazing day today, how could I not be on cloud nine?"
"I had a pretty fantastic day myself sweets. How was your lesson with Jane?" I was so happy that he was interested in my day and my work, but I felt like there was something else on his mind that he wasn't saying.
"Good. Jane is a natural at the piano. That girl could easily get into Julliard if her parents let her apply. I'm going to talk to them about it in a couple of weeks, she really wants to go, but doesn't know how to tell them so I offered to help." I paused for a second, wondering if I should even ask what's really on his mind, then I decided I might as well and went for it. "So what's on your mind Edward?"
"What? Nothing. I just wanted to call and check in on you." I wasn't convinced.
"Uh huh. I'm not buying it. What's on your mind?" I heard a huff on the other end and thought that maybe I had upset him, but I knew he wasn't saying something and part of being in a relationship was being able to communicate with each other. "You know this doesn't bode well for our relationship if you won't talk to me about what's bothering you."
"Can I come over?" He asked suddenly.
"Of course, if you promise to talk to me."
"I don't think we'll be doing a whole lot of talking if I come over baby." He crooned, liquid sex pouring through the phone. I was turned on, but I couldn't let him distract me.
"Noooooo, talking is exactly what we'll be doing and maybe, just maybe if I'm satisfied with whatever you have to say then we can do…other things, in bed." If he could try to get me off track using sex then I could bribe him with it to get him to talk. Sneaky, sure, but hey turnabout is fair play, right.
"You'll be left satisfied baby, don't you worry about that." I have no doubt at all baby.
"EDWARD! Seriously! Will you tell me what's bothering you if you come over or not?"
"You're no fun. Alright, yes, we'll talk. I promise. Now, are you hungry? I could bring some food over." He asked. I agreed on whatever he wanted and hung up the phone. Half an hour later there was a knock on my door. When I opened it there stood Edward with flowers in one hand and Chinese take-out in the other. Did I mention that I have an amazing boyfriend?
We settled into the dining room with our dinner, but were silent, mostly. He did tell me about work, said it was crazy all day and he thought of nothing but me the whole time, which I didn't think was a very good idea when dealing with patients lives and I told him so, his reply to that was "I'm just that good baby". After everything was cleaned up we sat down on the couch next to each other. He had moved my hair off the shoulder closest to him and started placing light kisses on my shoulder and neck. "Mmm, Edward, as good as that feels you have some talking to do." He groaned but pulled away, shifting uncomfortably.
"Yeah, okay. How do I say this?" He took a deep breath and so did I; I had a feeling this wasn't going to be a good conversation if he was this nervous about it. "I've been thinking. I know you have this fucked up past with this Jamie guy and as much as it makes me sick knowing what little I do know, I think I need to know what happened. All of it." I let out a breath, did he deserve to know what happened, of course he did, especially if we were going to move forward with this whole relationship. He knows bits and pieces, but the whole story, it scared me to tell him, what would his reaction be? Would he think this, I, was too much for him to handle. It's been five years and I've been going through therapy for four and a half of those years so I've pretty much accepted what happened to me, but could he be as accepting.
"Alright, I'll tell you." So there I sat, trying to form the words to tell him exactly what happened. I went on autopilot and told him everything. As long as he didn't stop me in the middle I was sure I could get through it without breaking down. Dr. Garrett told me that I would need to tell whoever I was with eventually and the best way to do that was to just get through it. He understood how hard this was for me to talk about, but he swore it would be therapeutic to tell my partner. When I told Rose and Alice about it a year after it happened, it was still raw, I had only been talking to Garrett for six months at that time and it was impossible to get through without breaking into tears every five minutes. I took a deep breath and just decided to let it all out. I would deal with the consequences of Edward's reaction later, this is just a part of my past and if he couldn't deal with it I'd let him go and not make a big deal out of it.
"When I was in college, sophomore year I was at a bar with my friend Bree and her boyfriend Riley. Bree and I were dancing and that's when Jamie approached me. We danced and I made the mistake of leaving with him. After that we dated, he was sweet and gentle and didn't mind waiting until I was ready to have sex. I wasn't a virgin or anything, but I believed/believe, that you need to have concrete feelings for someone before you take things that far. After three months I felt ready and I told him one night over dinner. He had come over and I cooked, Bree had made herself scarce, knowing about my plan so we had the place to ourselves. Everything went off as planned and we had sex that night." I saw Edward cringe as I said this, I'm sure he didn't want the details of what happened that night, to be honest, he'd probably be relieved, because it was hands down one of the worst sexual encounters I'd ever had, well besides the other stuff he did to me. I guess I should say that it was one of the worst "normal" sexual encounters I'd ever had. "After that is when things started getting bad. He'd get pissed and possessive anytime I even talked to another guy, even if it was just for a school project or whatever. I could never prove it but I'm pretty sure he beat up my lab partner, Julian. He came into the library to pick me up one day and I was sitting there with Julian doing our research and he flipped his lid. Two days later I saw Julian in class and his face was all bruised up and he said he got into a bar fight with some random guy the night before. I didn't buy it for one second but the look in his eyes told me not to press the issue.
"Jamie started hitting me not too long after that incident. He hated me going out with Bree and Riley, he even hated it when we all were hanging around our apartment, he said Riley was after me and it was worse being in the apartment with him because he could easily sneak in my room and try to have sex with me. He would constantly try to start fights with Riley whenever they were in the same room together, it got so bad that Bree finally had enough and moved in with Riley, leaving me in the apartment alone. With me concentrating mostly on my studies I only had a part time job at the local coffee shop, and I couldn't afford the rent on our apartment by myself so Jamie told me to move in with him, which I did. I was stupid, I know this, hell I even knew it was a bad idea at the time, but I still did it.
"On move in day Jamie was out the entire time, so I had to pretty much moved all my stuff in on my own, Riley helped me with the heavier things, the furniture was all Bree's so I didn't have that much, but still you would think your boyfriend would help you move into his house. Needless to say I was pissed when he didn't come home until well after midnight on my first night there so I laid into him. He yelled at me telling me that he didn't have to answer to me and I'd do well to remember that in the future. When I yelled back at him that we are now living together and he needed to tell me if he was going to be out late he hit me pretty hard across the face. I had a huge bruise across my cheek and a huge gash on my lower lip the next day. When Bree asked me about it I told her I was my usual clumsy self and ran into the door when I was moving. I don't think she bought it, but she let it go. I stopped hanging out with them eventually so it was just me and Jamie. Alice and Rose were off at college in other states, we talked on the phone, but I never let them in on what was happening.
"From there it just escalated and he would hit me for having my schoolwork out, or leaving a glass in the sink. Mind you Jamie was never what you would call tidy, but once I moved in he expected the place to be spotless all the time. He forced himself on me more time then I can count, hitting me, or choking me in the process. He got off on it, if I fought it just spurred him on so I learned to just lay there and take it. Nobody knew, not even my parents. They loved Jamie, but my mom's husband, Phil always thought there was something off about him. Guess they should have listened to him more." I laughed humorlessly. Edward's hand was holding mine while his free hand rubbed my leg. "Anyway I finally had had enough one night a little over 5 years ago. I was making dinner and when he came home, drunk off his ass, he was complaining about one of his co-workers, I made some comment about how he couldn't do much about it since her father owned the company and that's when he not only hit me, but he threw the pot of hot food at me, he then yelled at me to clean it up, told me I was worthless and no-one would want me. Then he raped me, he was so rough it literally felt like I was being torn in two. He passed out after he got off so I packed as much as I could, left him and that place and went straight to the police. They immediately took me to the hospital for a rape kit and to check for any injuries. He was arrested and with the rape kit and my testimony he was put away for 6 years, the maximum sentence they could give him for what he did to me. He's actually up for release in a year and frankly it scares the shit out of me. I just know he'll come looking for me, but I've done a pretty good job of covering my tracks. This apartment is in Tanya's name, pretty much everything I have is in Tanya's name. She's been here for me ever since I left Jamie, even before then really, but she's the one who helped me get out and go to the police." I sat there silent letting him take in everything I had just said, I didn't dare look at him for fear of what I'd see in his eyes. He's probably trying to figure out the best way to leave without causing a scene.
"Bella. I'm…God, I'm so sorry baby." His arms were like a steel trap holding me tightly to him. I could feel wetness streaking down my arm and chest. I realized the tears on my chest were mine and the ones on my arm were Edwards. He was crying, because of me. "I don't know how anyone could do something to awful to someone as beautiful and pure as you. I want to kill him." He suddenly sounded angry, I could feel his body temperature rising as he held onto me. "Don't worry; I'm never going to let that bastard hurt you again. Ever, do you hear me Bella? I will keep you safe, forever and always."
I cried in his arms for what felt like hours until I eventually drifted off to sleep. When I woke up I was wrapped in Edward, who was fast asleep. My movements must have woken him up because he started to stir.
"Hey." He said groggily and tried to sit up.
"Hi." I wasn't sure how he was feeling at this point, was he just going to go now and never talk to me again? I didn't know if I could handle that, but if he did I had great friends to get me through it.
"Bella." He said softly. I looked up at him through blurry eyes and I immediately noticed how sad he looked. I hoped he did it quick, just rip off the band-aid. "Hey, don't cry baby. Please don't cry. I'm here." I sobbed and once again he held me until my tears subsided. "I know what you're thinking and I'm not going anywhere. You can't get rid of me that easily Bella. I've waited too long to have you in my arms and some fucked up thing happening to you in the past isn't going to change anything. Do you hear me?" His voice was soft, but his tone forceful. In his eyes there was a look of pure sincerity. There was no denying his words were honest, so I did what I could to tell him that I believed him, I kissed him.
EPOV
Bella's story broke me, crying was inevitable. When she was telling me, it was like she wasn't even really there, she was so disconnected. I tried my best to comfort her by holding her hand and rubbing her leg. I also kept my mouth shut, knowing somehow that she needed that from me in order to finish her story. She was drained by the time she was done and cried while I held her. Somehow we both managed to fall asleep for a few hours. I wanted to ask her about the overdose, but I figured I'd save that for another time. I didn't want to put her through too much in one day.
We both woke up and the look in her eyes made me want to rip that asshole's head clean off; she was scared, most likely thinking she had scared me away with her story, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. If anything I was more determined than ever to stay and do everything in my power to protect her. She is my life now and I would do anything for her. I tried to comfort her with my words, and I'm pretty sure she saw the truth in them and my tone because she kissed me with everything she had and damn did it feel good.
She broke our intense make-out session after a few minutes, but held onto my face as she looked me in the eyes. "I have more to tell you Edward." She said, and then placed a chaste kiss on my lips. Bella sat back on her couch getting ready to lay more on me. I took a deep breath to prepare myself. I didn't know how much worse this was going to be, but I had to steel myself for whatever it was. Once I was ready I looked her in the eyes, nodded and waited.
"The night of the overdose." She blew out some air then continued. "The flashback I told you I had, it was a memory of that last night with him, of all the things he did to me. I don't have them very often, but they do happen occasionally. I've been seeing a therapist for the past 4 and half years and it's really helped. My appointments used to be three times a week when I started, but now I'm down to once a month, sometimes once every couple of months, but I'm sure I'll be back to at least twice a month now after everything that happened recently. I'm doing a lot better with things now and I just wanted to tell you that the overdose it was just a stupid mistake, one that will never happen again. I was so stupid drinking and taking medication at the same time. I didn't do it because of the memories though; it was all just a desperate attempt to get some sleep. I just need you to know that I would never even think to hurt myself, ever. Hell if I didn't try it right after I left, having nightmares every night, then why would I do it now?"
Her words made the huge weight that I was carrying melt away. She didn't do it on purpose, I already knew that, but hearing that it wasn't done because of the memories, but just the need to get some sleep made me feel better. Sure she didn't go about it the right way, but I could only imagine the amount of anxiety that dream caused her and honestly she only took the two pills and from what she told me she did drink quite a bit, but the woman is tiny, her body couldn't handle the combination.
"Thank you Bella. For telling me all this. I can't even imagine what that must have been like for you, if I could take away all that pain I would baby. And I know you didn't overdose on purpose, but can you promise me that if this ever happens again you call me instead of taking pills and drinking?"
Bella got a sly smile on her beautiful face then said, "You mean you won't be in bed with me?"
"Baby girl, you have no idea what you do to me." I lunged forward and kissed her. She seemed okay, what with the playing around and all but I wasn't about to push her. Bella moved to straddle my lap, which seems to be her favorite thing to do, you won't hear me complaining either. "Ugh baby, I love it when you straddle me." I went back to attacking her mouth, when our lips met her mouth was parted and took that as an invitation and thrust my tongue into her mouth. Her hands went to their usual place in my hair, but she tugged a little harder than normal this time, causing me to moan. My hands were placed on her hips, keeping her in place on my lap; I knew she felt my arousal when she started wiggling on me causing white hot heat to spread throughout my body. "Fuck Bella."
"You like that baby?" She asked, moving more against my straining erection. I could only grunt my approval. Her lips kissed up and down my jaw, then my neck. Her hands moved from my hair to the hem of my shirt and she started tugging but she didn't have a whole lot of room with the way our bodies were pressed together, so she backed up. My shirt came off in one quick move and Bella was back on me, kissing every newly exposed inch of skin. Not wanting to be outdone I played with the hem of her shirt, silently letting her know that I wanted it off. She moved back again so I had room to work, then I whipped her shirt off and threw it somewhere behind me. I groaned when I saw what she was wearing. It was a dark blue bra, all lace and it left absolutely nothing to the imagination. Her breasts were calling me so I did what they wanted and wrapped my mouth around one nipple as my fingers pinched at the other. Her head was thrown back now as she moaned in pleasure. "Just like that Edward. Holy fuck I love your mouth."
"Ah hell!" Someone who was definitely not Bella or I yelled from somewhere in the apartment. "Will you two please do that in your room Bella? I'm getting tired of coming home to see you two going at it." Rose, of course. It was probably a good thing that she interrupted us, because we were well on our way to "out of control".
"ROSE!" Bella screamed as she scrambled off the couch and my lap to find her shirt.
"Oh, it's not like I haven't seen it all and more before Bella." What was this? They've seen each other naked? Did they have pillow fights in skimpy lingerie too, because that would be hot. "Hi Edward."
I gave Rose a wave, still lost in the thoughts of them in lingerie and pillow fights. "I, uh, should probably go." I had to adjust myself before I got up, not so much to hide my…err problem, but because it was fucking uncomfortable, besides I didn't have anything to hide it with, my shirt was somewhere on the floor.
"Don't leave on my account lover boy. I can put on some music to tune you two out."
"Bella, what do you want me to do?" I asked, because of our talk tonight I wasn't sure if she wanted to be alone and as hard as it/I would be staying with her tonight I would do it to make her happy, holding her all night while we slept would just be an added bonus.
"I'll be alright. I know you have to work tomorrow and you don't have anything here." Her shirt was now on, a fact that made me a little sad. She came over to me, with my shirt in her hand. I took it and put it on real fast before pulling her into my arms so I could say goodbye properly.
"Are you sure you'll be okay?" She nodded into my chest. "Okay, will you call me if you have another nightmare?" She nodded again as her hold on me tightened. "Good. I'll call you when I get home and we'll see each other tomorrow night." I kissed the top of her head and hugged her. Reluctantly I left her, something that seemed to just be getting harder to do and we'd only been together for less than a week. I did call when I got home, we said goodnight and I laid in bed thinking about what she shared with me tonight. She was so brave leaving him the way she did and going to the police, I know that takes a lot of courage for someone who had lived in that situation for as long as she did. It was silly, really for her to think that I would leave her after that, if anything it just made me love her more and I was determined to prove it to her.
A/N: As always reviews get a look at the next chapter. I hope you were happy with the way this chapter went. It was really hard for me to write so I hope I did a good enough job. I did look into how much time someone would get for violent rape and it varies from 24-96 months. For Jamie I went with the longest sentence. Now that her story is all out they can move forward. The songs her and Jane were working on were both from The Killers. Music suggestions are not only appreciated but welcome. Let me know if you have any ideas.