This War's Not Over: Chapter 15

Please Listen

Hi everyone!

Hurrah your reviews made my day! ^^

This chappy contains a lot of Shiro and Ichi in it. Sorry, its not yaoi, cause when I write yaoi, it usually comes out crap.^^" But see it however you wish. Hope you like it. :D

Another flashback to start with.

It was after mom died.

Nine-year-old Ichigo stood with the ball in his hands, a tentative smile on his face. The other boys scattered around the football field, ready to receive or intercept the ball. Ichigo kicked the ball so it landed right in his teammate's feet, the match resuming as all the boys charged towards one side of the field to score a goal.

Ichigo ran after them, his heart racing with excitement. He hadn't felt so up in years. After his crash when his mother had died, the boy had been completely crushed. He had shunned any kind of friendship or family contact, and his life couldn't have been more miserable. He didn't need bonds. They hurt too much.

But maybe because he didn't have those bonds was why he felt so miserable before. Why not give feelings and bonds another chance?

And now he felt this new strength coursing through him as one of his teammates passed him the ball. Surely it was worth it if he felt this happy? Right?

It all went wrong when Ichigo rammed his foot into the ball, sending it shooting at high speed into the goal.

When I was little, I knew I was no good.

Only, it didn't hit the goal, it hit the young goalkeeper instead—and winded him terribly. Even drew blood as small sprinkles of it made its appearance on his cheek.

Ichigo never wanted to hurt people. Not after mom died.

And now, as he stood there with an expression of anguish on his face as he stared at the boy keel over in pain, Ichigo couldn't help shaking.

I had this odd superior strength to the other kids.

Ichigo didn't know these boys very well. As soon as they saw how well he could kick, they invited him to play. His big chance had evaporated as fast as it had arrived.

Ichigo tried to speak, choking. "I'm…I'm so sor—"

But his apology was interrupted by one of the boys, who punched him in the face. Ichigo rolled in the dust, his heart thumping as he looked up to see all the boys stare angrily down at him.

Fear arose in Ichigo as he held up a hand, alarm on his face. "Wait, just listen I—"

A boy's foot buried itself into his rib, Ichigo letting out a moan of pain. He lay there helpless, trying to explain himself over and over, but no one would listen to him.

Why wouldn't anyone listen to me?

It was only when the girl from karate arrived to rescue him that the boys backed off and left.

Ichigo never knew her name, and yet, every single time she would protect him from getting beat up. The tomboy turned, giving out her hand.

"You okay?" she frowned.

Ichigo shakily took it, his eyes full of broken trust. How could this have happened? Why did it hurt so much not to be trusted? These bonds really were useless after all.

"Yes but I didn't mean to—" Ichigo tried again.

"It doesn't matter at this point. Just go home," the tomboy said, turning and walking away.

Ichigo's eyes narrowed with hurt, stumbling in the direction of home and clutching his battered sides.

Why won't anyone listen?

In the depths of Ichigo's inner world, crimson interrupted the pure white surface of ice. A bleached figure lay on his side, his yellow eyes staring down hard at the floor. The fatally wounded figure didn't try to clutch his wound in an effort to stop the bleeding.

It's useless.

In another time, Ichigo's inner hollow would have been laughing at himself right now. How could he have been so stupid? To trust a soul reaper when he knew better.

Another shaking interrupted his thoughts, the building that had caused it breaking down and falling into rubble. The hollow didn't look up. It had happened so many times after King had lost it.

Bitterness rose in his throat. He'd tried to warn Ichigo. But King has shunned him, refused to listen. Because he was just some hollow that wasn't suppose to exist. He was just too odd—too opposite to Ichigo to be worth listening too.

And now, after so many years of ignoring his emotions, the hollow was beginning to feel them again now that their souls were merging together. Technically, they already were, and it wouldn't be long before he and King disappeared from this world to form the being that was fighting Aizen.

The hollow closed his eyes. He was sure King was here somewhere. Wounded someplace. How ironic, that both opposites had fought countless times for the dominance of this body, and it only turned out that neither of them could have it?

The hollow let out a low mocking huff, not bothering to worry about the cold ground below him that was slowly burning his skin.

Now that he had given in to these so called feelings of King's, he could feel everything King could. His agony, his pain, his fury. But they were such useless things that the other half had decided to abandon long ago. Because he knew they hurt. And now, King was nothing more than a broken mess who had lost his head because of them.

Why didn't you listen?

Because now, the hollow knew more than anybody what Ichigo was feeling, how lost the boy was. And the hollow resented it. He wished it was someone else—take his stupid friends for example—who would understand King better than he did. But that would never happen. After all, who understood a person better than himself?

He knew King was here. But he didn't want to go see—didn't want to go finish him off. He never wanted to see that soul reaper's face again.

Anger boiled in the hollow's core as his nails scraped at the ice beneath him. He was such an idiot, believing that he could trust King. In the end, Ichigo had only considered him as something to be suppressed, to fear.

Ichigo always thought that there had to be the good and the bad guys—the black and the white. But what if there was just…grey?

Rukia gaped at the 0 Espada. What did he say?

She could only watch as the espada's sword continued to charge with pitch black reiatsu, sucking everything in it like an infernal black hole.

She hit the floor to avoid most of the flying debris that could pose any threat of wounding her, her heart pounding. Everyone did the same. But every single person in the team was worrying about the same thing—would Ichigo be able to tell the difference between his enemies and his friends?

Rukia gave an indignant gasp as Isshin picked her up under his arm.

"And what do you think you're doing?" she glared.

"Everyone should leave. The 0 Espada isn't joking. If we get caught in the blast, we're all dead," Isshin addressed everyone.

Rukia felt like she's been hit across the face. "You're talking as if that's not Ichigo we're talking about over there…"

Isshin gave her a grieving look. "Ichigo is gone."

Those three words took a while to sink in, and by that time, everyone had already cleared the area and put themselves a good distance away from Las Noches using the crack in the palace's wall.

"Wait!" Rukia prostested. "Ichigo's wound…it's opened up again! It's from his soul…he'll bleed to death!"

She wriggled in Isshin's arms, her eyes wide. She could only watch as Las Noches' wall was blown away like as if it was paper, Ichigo releasing the blast on Aizen as it opened up a large crater in Hueco Mundo's desert.

"Ichigo," she whispered.

Tatsuki knew more than anybody how much Ichigo had changed since his mother's death. Now, when he was on the mat fighting her, he was no longer that wimpy kid who'd get himself battered with just one punch anymore. Now he was more driven, more determined. She was glad that the boy had become stronger, yet sorry that it had to be through his mother's death.

But she knew how the others resented his newfound strength. He was just too strong now, according to them. Too odd. How could he have gotten so strong after such a short time? He hadn't even attended to karate class for a whole year, and still he came back in full strength.

The only thing that puzzled her about the boy was why he never used that strength to defend himself. Was he just simply so full of guilt over his mother's death that he no longer wished to inflict hurt upon others? That just seemed stupid.

Tatsuki was caught off guard when his quiet voice interrupted her thoughts.

"What's your…what's your name?" the boy gave a tentative smile.

The tomboy looked away. "It's Tatsuki."

It was surprising that they hadn't done this simple introduction earlier, her protecting him from bullies and all. Maybe she just simply hadn't bothered to do it.

"Aren't you…going to ask me mine?" he asked quietly.

Tatsuki stiffened. What did it matter whether she knew his name or not? Why was she feeling this sudden guilt? She hadn't done anything to him. She protected him right? That was enough.

But maybe it was because she had known him for so long, and yet not known his name, that it felt awkward to ask him now.

"I'll…see you tomorrow," Tatsuki gave him a tight smile, walking past him.

There was nothing to feel sorry for. It didn't matter that she didn't know his name. For now, he was just the nameless boy.

To me, he doesn't have a name.

Aizen had evaded the final getsugatensho thrown at him, and now Rukia watched as Ichigo and Aizen brought their fight outside. She was so surprised that Ichigo hadn't lost his powers when he missed. He really hadn't been joking. He could use the final getsugatensho as many times as he wanted.

"But…how could that be?" Rukia gasped.

Isshin was straining forwards, his eyes never leaving his son. "It must be the Hogyoku's power that's preserving his from being all used up."

Ichigo was using the final getsugatensho like his usual attacks, firing them one after the other. Craters blew up in the sand as Aizen nimbly evaded them with a speed that Rukia couldn't follow with her eyes.

"I can barely see them," Nel murmured.

"Ichigo is planning to turn Hueco Mundo into a second moon with all those craters," Grimmjow added.

Rukia shot him an angry look for joking at a time like this.

"Aizen's wish is slowly becoming true. Ichigo's resurreccion is both him and his hollow merged together. The perfect transcendent," Isshin stiffened.

Even though Rukia could not follow the fight with her eyes, she could tell by the craters that Aizen was faster than Ichigo, while the latter was stronger.

"If this keeps up, Ichigo will bleed to death."

Ichigo lay motionlessly on the harsh cold ice of his inner world. His brown eyes lowered to his stomach wound that had opened up again. His hand was perfectly camouflaged in it, red with his blood as it hopelessly tried to cease the bleeding.

His gaze flicked away from it again, his eyes staring around his inner world searchingly. Where is everyone?

His head wasn't burdened by the overwhelming anger he'd felt before—yet it still was full of confusion and terror. He sat up, breathing feverishly. His hand found his sword, and slowly but surely, he managed to raised his body up by leaning on Zangetsu. Where was Zangetsu?

He also noticed that he was once again dressed in his comfortable shihakusho, old feelings gushing back in him.

Ichigo's vision blurred as he tried to get a grasp on the situation he was in. He had lost control. He had been thrown and locked away in his inner world. He didn't know how to get out. He was fatally wounded.

Ichigo shakily paced across his inner world, using his sword as a support. His head turned from side to side. Searching. For anything, anything. But only a cold angry silence greeted Ichigo—just like before.

He continued stumbling and staggering across his inner world, calling out his zanpakuto's name sometimes. But the sword was nowhere to be seen.

However, something else caught his eye that made Ichigo's eyes widen. A pale white figure laid on its side, motionless and quiet—the snowy white outline contrasting with the puddle of blood it was laying in.

"Hollow!" Ichigo said.

What was he doing, going towards that thing he hated so much? What if his hollow was just faking?

But a wave of nausea took over Ichigo, sending him crashing to the ground a few meters from his inner hollow. Pain jarred in him as his wound came in contact with the solid frozen ground. He let out a groan, turning his head with alarm as he saw the building right beside him give way and disappear into plumes.

He waited for the shaking to stop before regaining his bearings again. The nausea gone, Ichigo propped himself up with one hand to stand up again. The teen's face smashed back down on the ice as his inner hollow's reiatsu caught him off guard.

He seethed in pain for a few moments, watching as his hollow raised his reiatsu with warning not to come any closer, the wounded animal turning to look at him, bearing its fangs.

Ichigo edged away, frowning. "What happened?"

But Ichigo had never seen his hollow like this—he looked…so angry. Even worse than hollowfied Tensa Zangetsu's look.

The inner hollow's face was contorted in hatred, his voice reduced to a sneer. "Why are you here?"

Ichigo opened his mouth, taken aback by his hollow's hostility. He closed it again after a few moments, not knowing what to say.

"Don't you understand? We're both going to be die sooner or later."

Ichigo was taken aback. "Die?"

The hollow gave a low dark laugh. "Can't you see? This world is disappearing as we speak."

And as if to prove his point, another building gave way, shaking Ichigo's entire inner world.

Ichigo stood up shakily, still using Zangetsu, and taking a tentative step forward. "There's still time. We don't have to disappear. Everyone out there is waiting for me—I have to go back."

"Well you can't," the hollow said harshly, his yellow orbs never leaving Ichigo as he stood up too.

Ichigo tensed. He just simply couldn't bear the thought of never being able to go back. What if the merged being out there was hurting his friends?

"Don't say that. I can still do it," Ichigo said stubbornly. "I can still go back."

Ichigo felt the hollow's crushing reiatsu again as the pale figure's anger spiked up once more, his yellow eyes flashing with fury. "I warned you…I warned you not to lose your head!"

The hollow released a getsugatensho, and it would have decapitated Ichigo if the teen hadn't dodged it just in time. The teen raised his hand, alarmed. "Wait! We can still fix this!"

The hollow clashed his sword with Ichigo's, his eyes still narrowed in rage, both their wounds all but forgotten. "By what? Lending you my power again? Fight together? Cut the crap King! I tried to warn you and you wouldn't listen!"

Ichigo sprang away from their struggle, his eyes narrowing at the hollow. It was true that he hadn't listened to the hollow. Despite his warnings, Ichigo had pushed them aside—it was his own fault that they were in this mess—again.

And yet—how could he trust the hollow after all their struggles of gaining dominance over this body?

"I thought you were lying to me," Ichigo admitted.

Another getsugatensho hit Ichigo full on, Ichigo grinding his teeth in effort as he blocked it with Zangetsu, before veering it away from its previous destination.

"What am I to you anyway?" the hollow's voice came from behind Ichigo, earning him a slash in the back.

Ichigo crashed to the ground, stifling a scream of pain. His hollow obviously had no intention on killing him quickly, since he left Ichigo time to stand up again. Ichigo had never seen him so angry.

"You're no better than the very soul reapers who betrayed you," the hollow hissed. "That what I told the petite soul reaper who came to visit some time ago."

Ichigo's eyes narrowed in confusion, sensing his own anger rising up to meet his hollow's. "You're making no sense!"

"The soul reapers used you as nothing more than a mere weapon they could use as their own disposable commodity. It's the same with you and me," the hollow said darkly.

Ichigo spoke quietly. "I didn't realize."

"Because you don't trust me do you?" the hollow snarled.

Ichigo stiffened, not understanding the shame he was feeling—because his other half was right. He uttered the word so the whole world could hear it. "No."

Rukia took a step forwards towards the fight. She had to go help Ichigo—she had to heal his wound. Isshin's preventative arm stopped her.

"What can you do once you get there? Knock him unconscious?" it was Grimmjow's mocking voice who spoke this time.

Rukia gave him another sharp glare, before turning back to the battle at hand. "We should at least do something."

No one said anything, eveyrone's eyes straining on the fight as it came closer and closer towards them. To her horror, Aizen sonidoed in front of them, his sardonic smile on. He swung his blade towards Rukia, attempting Ichigo's fury.

But Isshin blocked the blow with his own sword, Engetsu immediately snapping in two as Aizen's monstrous reiatsu came in contact. Both men stood there, even if it was only for a moment, Isshin struggling with his broken sword.

"How does it feel to have your son, from your blood and lineage, to have become the Oken?" Aizen smiled.

Isshin gasped as he gazed past Aizen, to where his son was, who seemed to be staring at someone who wasn't there. Isshin gave another gasp, realizing Ichigo was under Kyokasuigetsu's spell.

"Piercer Of Heaven, huh? How fitting," Aizen said as he sprung away from Isshin.

Isshin lunged into the air, his eyes wide with alarm. "Ichigo don't!"

His son's black aura began to glow a purplish-bluish color, along with his eyes, and Isshin realized that Ichigo was using his hogyoku powers. Ichigo raised his white blade to strike the air, his eyes still entranced with the fake Aizen in front of him. The next Final Getsugatensho was completely different. First the color had changed from black to blue. And when it struck the air, it took the shape of a key, unlocking something that no one else could see.

Isshin gasped, bundling his son over as two huge and grand doors appeared in the sky of Hueco Mundo. They were covered with gold and red patterns. Rukia had never seen anything more amazing in her life.

The doors were only opened slightly, but another thick golden rope kept the doors barely shut. The other rope had been torn in half, thanks to Ichigo's final getsugatensho. That's when it dawned on Rukia.

"That must be…the entrance to the Royal Dimension!"

Everyone gasped with her.

Isshin was still struggling with Ichigo, who had remained in the illusion that Aizen was still there. The 0 espada simply stared at Isshin blankly with his crimson red orbs—before they turned into hatred.

"Ichigo…please stop," Isshin said, barely able to pinned the teen down any longer. "Your wound is really severe."

Ichigo stared coldly up at his father, before spitting a splash of blood on Isshin's cheek, and turning his head away. Isshin tried to push away the hurt that he was feeling.

"Ichigo, I know you're still in there somewhere…Hurry up and come back!" Isshin pleaded, but to his shock, was thrown back by the 0 espada's reiatsu.

Aizen, who had been victoriously observing the situation, gave a plotting smile. "Go ahead, my dear Oken. Open the Royal Dimension."

The hollow gave a knowing hiss, his eyes shadowed by his snowy white hair. "I thought so."

Ichigo's eyes narrowed, puzzled. What was his hollow trying to get to? What was he planning?

"Ichigo."

The hollow's voice had never sounded so empty and distant. Ichigo stared at the hollow searchingly.

"Didn't you know that I am the embodiment of your hatred, your fear and your pain?"

It was Ichigo's turn to smile scathingly—maybe it was because of their merging souls. "I don't understand what you're talking about."

"Denying yourself like that," the hollow grinned mockingly. "You know exactly what I mean."

The hollow was on the offense again, sending the unsuspecting Ichigo crashing into a sideways building. Ichigo groaned. How could he have left his flank unguarded in front of his hollow, of all people?

Not only that, but there was that confusion again in Ichigo's heart. How could he deny that it was there?

"Where is Zangetsu?"

The hollow let out a small laugh, but it was full of bitterness. "That sounds awfully familiar. Do you spout out the same lines when you don't know what to say?"

Ichigo's eyes narrowed in fury, charging his sword for bankai. "Shut up! I don't want to talk to you. You're not supposed to be here!"

They were now both fully transformed into their bankai forms. How ironic. They were doing the same thing all over again but fighting for a very different reason. Ichigo froze. What were they fighting for?

They both clashed swords again, sending shockwaves that caused their very world to tremble. Ichigo's inner hollow smiled, but his yellow eyes were dead. "Why do you keep denying me?"

Ichigo flinched. He backed out of their struggling again, a sign that he had been taken off guard once more. A bead of sweat rolled down Ichigo's forehead. "You say you're the embodiment of my hatred, my pain, and my fear. Why would I trust something like that?"

The hollow let out another low laugh, spinning his white copy of tensa zangetsu by the chain on his finger. He caught the sword, the smirk vanishing from his face, and his eyes becoming alarmingly serious again. Why was his hollow acting so strange?

"To not be listened to. You should know, out of all people, what that feels like, Ichigo," the hollow's eyes narrowed in bitterness.

Ichigo cringed away. His surprise was immediately replaced by anger. "Who gave you the right to look into my past you bastard!"

The hollow assumed a crouching position, clearly unaffected by Ichigo's anger. His eyes never left the teen, examining his every move. "Don't you understand? I was here since the very beginning. I told you—I am your fear, your hatred, your pain. Of course I was always there. Being a hollow was simply a material form I assumed after you became a soul reaper. Otherwise, as much as I hate to say it, we were one. But you resented that fear, hatred and pain so much that you divided it away from yourself—that's the part of you that became me."

Ichigo gasped, taking another stepbackwards. "W-What?"

"Don't make me repeat myself!" the hollow hissed angrily, his fury snapping back to him.

Ichigo's eyes narrowed. "You're not supposed to exist."

"Denying your fear is a dangerous thing to do," the hollow's eyes glowed.

During the time the two had started hissing at each other, all the buildings had collapsed. Even the ice had begun to melt, and it was slowly flooding the place with water. But what made Ichigo shiver was that the water had become scarlet with the blood. It lapped hungrily at Ichigo ankles, threatening to swallow him whole. I'm running out of time, Ichigo thought desperately.

His anger rose at the sight his inner hollow. The creature was just playing with his feelings. Of course he should deny his own fear. Nothing good ever comes of fear. And pain, well there were just too many memories that hurt that Ichigo could not face. Hatred was something that turned you into a villain like Aizen.

"Don't you understand? Fear is not something evil, Ichigo. It simply tells you the limits of what you can or cannot do!" the hollow snarled.

Ichigo resented the fact that he could almost see himself in the hollow. He was really screaming at himself.

"You're the one who can't face your feelings! You're too scared to have bonds! Don't you understand that in order to stop the pain, you should protect those bonds? You can't kill! It doesn't work that way!" Ichigo screamed back over the now pouring rain.

Here they were, standing in the middle of Ichigo's inner world that was slowly breaking apart, playing the game of confusing one another again.

"Protecting means killing Ichigo! You can't just have one side of the bargain! Why do you keep on denying me?" the other half growled, throwing himself at Ichigo. "Why didn't you listen to me that time? We wouldn't be in this kind of crap if it wasn't for you!"

Their blades collided once more, their teeth barred in hatred, both of them standing on the last remaining building. The crimson water was at their knees now, threatening to swallow them whole.

"You shouldn't exist!" Ichigo snapped. "You're the one who's controlling the creature out there to hurt my friends!"

Accusations were flying across the inner world, both opposites thrown into a turmoil of emotions.

"Oh, I get it now," the hollow laughed dryly, "you must have denied me from the moment mom died didn't you? Because I'm a mix of you and a hollow? The one who killed her?"

Ichigo's throat tightened with rage, wanting to throw himself at the hollow. How dare he call her his own mother? However, his anger was taken over by shock. He stared at his inner hollow, whose eyes were filled with fury and pain. His mind flashed back to when he had been young, how much he had been denied. And how no one ever knew his name. Ichigo's mouth gapped open as he finally seemed to notice the alikeness in both their traits. He really is…me?

But his shock was interrupted by a sudden shake in the inner world, bigger and more painful than the previous ones—it was the final building. Ichigo and his hollow immediately flopped down in pain, their bodies splashing into the crimson water. Ichigo went under, his lungs managing to fill up with air before he sunk down.

Ichigo's heart was pounding, the teen looking through squinting eyes for a way up. But a pale figure caught his eye, making him change his original course of direction. He dove after his inner hollow, and Ichigo could tell from how scarlet the water was how much his hollow had taken most of the damage.

Ichigo's mouth opened to shout something to the hollow, but closed it again as he realized he was about to shout out "hollow." Ichigo's eyes narrowed. No. This time, he would give himself a name. He would no longer pass for the boy who didn't have a name.

"Shiro!" Ichigo screamed, bubbles brushing past his face as he pronounced the name.

He made a grab for his counterpart's shihakusho, before pushing himself up towards the surface. When the teen's head broke the surface, his lungs were already frantically working away, drawing in as much air they could. A part of the building was still poking out of the crimson water's depths, and Ichigo heaved himself up unto it, dragging his inner hollow up with him.

To his surprise, his hollow was conscious, his yellow eyes as round as a full moon.

"What did you say?" the inner hollow spluttered, his lungs rejecting whatever water he had inhaled.

"You almost drown yourself and that's all you have to fucking tell me?" Ichigo retorted, giving a feverish cough.

"What did you call me?" his hollow asked again, his hunched figure shivering from the cold.

Both teens were drenched to the bone, both drawing in huge breaths. Ichigo frowned for a moment, trying to figure out what his hollow was trying to ask, but then his glare eased into an uneasy smile when he finally understood.

"Do you still have water in your ears?" Ichigo said scathingly. "I said 'Shiro'."

The hollow gave him an incredulous look, like as if Ichigo had gone and grown another head.

Ichigo fingered his counterpart stiffly. "Cause you're all white—and you're the opposite of me, Ichigo Kurosaki. You don't mind do you—that I gave you a name…?"

Ichigo waited tensely for the hollow's reaction. And to Ichigo's surprise, the thing that Ichigo least expected came.

"Shiro. You, of all people. The one who's not good with names and faces. Giving me a name."

The hollow lent his head back, his laughter coming out like a bell tolling a new day.

"I'd like that."

And it's done!

Hope you enjoyed this chappy featuring a lot of Shiro in it! 3

I'll be gone for a week due to easter holidays so please have patience for the next update!

Please say if anyone was out of character, ugh (yes, again) ^^"

And review to tell me what you think! :D