AN: Kyonko is the OC, but she's pretty much an original from The Melancholy of Haruki Suzumiya. The others are purely canon.
The horror commenced.
When the bell rang, instead of marching out of class like how he usually did, Portgas picked me up and hauled me over his shoulder as though I was just a sack of potatoes. I didn't know where he was taking me, but it wasn't as if I cared to find out. I shrieked and tried to struggle my way out, but Portgas had a surprisingly strong grip on me.
Riding on Portgas's shoulder was terribly uncomfortable. Just imagine lying on top of a corner of a table during an earthquake. The ride then became bumpy, which was due to the flight of stairs that I was seeing below me. Finally, when he stopped, he dropped me (ouch) and grinned widely. I cast an irritated glare at him (which he totally ignored) and looked around. We were in an empty hallway.
"Help me out," he said, placing his big hands on my shoulders and looking at me straight in the eyes.
I blinked. "W-with what?"
"With my new club."
I should have seen this coming. "And just why should I help you with something that you thought up five minutes ago?"
"I'll need to secure a room for the club and gather members, so you have to find out what the paperwork and administration need!"
He wasn't listening to me!
Holding in a sigh, I asked reluctantly, "What is the club going to be about?"
"What does it matter? The important thing to do is make the club!" Portgas patted my shoulders hard, probably knocking off a few centimeters off my already unimpressive height. "Today after school, do what I've told you to do and I'll find ourselves a club, got it?"
Noooo.
Before I got the chance to say my refusal, Portgas was already dashing down the stairs, leaving me on my own.
I didn't even agree to help.
Ugh! Whatever... I better think up some explanation to my classmates about that scene Portgas caused before dragging my heavy feet back.
It wasn't difficult finding out how to make a club. I didn't even have to ask around because all the information was listed in the student handbook. Of course, Portgas couldn't be bothered taking a look in it; he was Portgas, after all.
The requirements for organizing a club: five or more members, a sponsor teacher, a club name, a president, and a summary of the goal and activities the club intended on carrying out. The club also needed to get approval from the student council, and didn't receive any school funding.
Sounded simple enough. I could imagine Portgas managing to convince random students to join this club of his, and him getting a teacher to sponsor him shouldn't be so hard. However, the club name would no doubt be stupid and the president would be none other than Portgas. The activities? Yeah, there was no way the student council was going to approve of this.
When school was over, Portgas threw me over his shoulder again and took off. All I could do before he could show off his monster strength was grab my bag. Seriously, this guy needed to stop doing this.
I tried to demand where he was taking me, but it was kind of hard to when the guy who was carrying you kept having his shoulder digging into your gut. And I was trying so hard not to have my skirt flip up and show the world my hot pink panties. Man, of all the days to wear this pair, did Portgas really had to carry me in such a barbaric way?
He bowled over a couple students and practically flew down the stairs to the first floor. He then zoomed off to another building of the school and hurtled up to another flight of stairs. He finally stopped and put me down, gently this time. We were in the middle of a dimly-lit hallway, I noticed, and before us was a door with a sign.
The Literature Club. That was what the sign said.
"Well, here it is," Portgas said, grabbing the knob and opening the door without knocking. He swung the door open and strutted inside. Hesitantly, I followed him.
I surveyed the room and was very unimpressed. Despite being fairly large, the room was pretty much empty, save for a long table, metal chairs, and a few book shelves. Hate to admit it, but I was late to take notice of the male student who sat by the windows, reading a thick novel.
"Uh, Portgas—"
"From this day forth, this room shall be ours," declared Portgas in a dignified fashion, crossing his arms across his chest. Like before, he displayed his uncharacteristic good cheer by grinning excitedly, his eyes glittering bright.
I could have just stared at him with no shame, enraptured by the complete 180 degree change in his personality, but I was more so annoyed by being cut off. "Now wait a minute," I said loudly. "Just where is this place?"
"The cultural and arts club building. Ya know how the art and orchestra club get their own rooms? Well, clubs like that are all organized here where they can hold all their meetings and such. This building is called the Old Complex, and this particular room just happened to belong to the literature club."
I frowned. "Okay... And what about the literature club?"
Portgas waved dismissively. "After all the third-years graduated, the club had zero members. If there are no members joining this year, then the club would be canceled."
"But what about that guy?" I said, pointing at the guy who had occupied the room before us.
"He's the club's only member."
"Then the club isn't canceled after all!"
"Same difference," Portgas snorted, plopping down on one of the chairs. "A club with only one member is basically a club with no members."
I suppressed the urge to cover my face with my hand. The first of Portgas's agenda as club president just had to be invading other clubs, was that right?
I glanced at the literature club's sole member. He had long fair hair; that was the only thing that I could only gather since he hadn't looked up from his book, not even when we had barged in and Portgas had made his presumptuous proclamation. Other than mechanically flipping pages, the guy hadn't moved a muscle.
"What about him?" I asked, glancing at Portgas.
"He said he's fine with it."
My eyes widened. "For real?"
"I asked him during lunch. I told him that I needed him to lend us the room, and he said to go ahead just so long as he can read his books in here in peace." He shrugged. "Now that you mention it, he is pretty weird."
Oh, like he was one to talk.
I shook my head before returning my attention back to the boy. Upon a closer look, he seemed to be someone tall if he stood up, probably be the same height as Portgas. He looked rather bony, though. Oh, and his hair! I tried to bury my envy deep, but man oh man—he had really pretty hair!
As if sensing my scrutiny, he suddenly lifted his head. Pale eyes stared into mine, and his face was completely expressionless. Unlike Portgas, who I found was capable of expressing anything beyond irritation and disinterest, this guy had an incredible poker face. A face devoid of emotion. If the black hole could be personified, then it would be this guy. Okay, exaggerating here. Nonetheless, I found him to be a bit intimidating.
"Basil Hawkins, class 2-2," he said monotonously, and then returned his eyes back to his novel.
Portgas and I exchanged glances. Portgas raised a brow. "Um, Basil-senpai," I began awkwardly, "Portgas here wants to use your room for whatever club he plans on making. So…is that fine with you?"
"Yes," he responded, not looking away from the page that he was reading.
"But he could cause you trouble."
"Not a problem."
"You might get chased out of here or something…"
"Feel free."
I opened my mouth to say more until I found that I couldn't. He had answered so simply and emotionlessly. I got the impression that this guy really didn't care either way just as long as he had his own space to read his books.
Portgas shot me a triumphant grin and leapt back to his feet. "So, it's been settled," he exclaimed, and then thrust his finger at me. "From now on, we'll meet here in this room after school. Be sure you show up or else!"
I had a really bad feeling that if I didn't show up, Portgas would give me hell. So I obediently nodded, resigned to my fate.
The next day, I sadly declined Nojiko and Kuina's offer of walking home together. Portgas had taken precautions to ensure that I would remember to go to the club, such as whispering me about it during classes or writing me notes. It was as if he couldn't trust me to remember it myself after the tenth reminder.
As I gathered my items into my bag, Portgas sprinted out of the classroom, but not before telling me to go on without him. I wondered where he was going, but then decided that it would be best not to think too much about it.
So I went to the clubroom myself. Entering inside, I found Basil Hawkins there already, sitting in the same exact spot where we had first met. Annnd…he was reading again too.
I walked over to a chair and sat down, setting my bag on the table. The room was just...quiet. I fidgeted and twirled a strand of hair, trying desperately to occupy my time with something that didn't have to do with sitting in place in this awkward silence. At least, for me it was awkward. And then I realized that I should have greeted my upperclassman. I mentally smacked myself in the face for this act of rudeness. But if I did it now, it would be too obvious! Five minutes must have had gone by already.
I glanced at Basil, who was still reading.
Oh, whatever. It beat doing nothing.
"Nice to see you again, senpai," I croaked. I quickly cleared my throat, and added, "I hope that Portgas and I won't cause you trouble today."
"Not at all," he replied.
"So…what are you reading?" I asked, trying to initiate a conversation. If I was able to get Portgas talking, then maybe I could do the same for this guy!
Correction: not at all. Instead of verbally responding, Basil simply held up the book and showed me the title. I didn't get the chance to read it since he set the book down too soon.
"Oh. Is it interesting?" I tried again.
"Unique," he said.
"Which part of it?"
"All of it."
"I...guess you like books, huh?"
"Yes."
"Is that so…?"
Silence. Again.
I guessed he didn't want a conversation.
After a few more minutes of silence perpetuated by Basil, who just wanted to read, and me, who got the hint, the door was brutally kicked open by none other than Portgas. He filled the room with his cheerful "Hey guys!" as he waltzed inside while dragging someone along. "Sorry for being late, but it took a while to catch this guy," he announced, pulling the person in with one strong jerk.
It was another boy.
It was a crazy cute boy.
He was small and slim, looking more like a middle school student dressed up as a high school student. His brown hair was tousled in an adorable way, and his large eyes looked around in a nervous fashion. He was trembling.
"Wh-what's going on?" he whimpered. "Wh-wh-why am I h-here?"
Portgas locked the door, and the small boy squeaked by the ominous click.
"Wh-why are you locking the door?" he cried hysterically.
"Silence."
The boy stiffened at Portgas's imperious and brisk command, and then gave a yelp when Portgas threw a companionable arm around his frail shoulders. "Let me introduce you to Tony Tony Chopper," Portgas said with a beaming smile on his face.
What followed was a pregnant pause.
The small boy, Tony Tony, gaped up at Portgas.
Meanwhile, I managed to regain my composure as I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Just where did you kidnap him from, Portgas?" I asked, exasperated.
Portgas scoffed. "I didn't kidnap him; I just made him come with me."
That was the same thing!
"Anyway, I found him daydreaming in the room 1-9 while I was looking for members, and, the moment my eyes laid on him, I knew that he was perfect for our plans!" he enthused.
We were having plans…?
Portgas abruptly slapped Tony Tony between his shoulder blades, causing the smaller boy to wobble and clutch the edge of the table for support. "See how weak he is?" he said, pointing down at Tony Tony. I unwittingly winced for the poor guy's sake. "What he needs is guts! Guts and courage! If you have those, then there's no way you'll be weak! Lack them and you'll never amount to anything."
Well, that wasn't very nice.
"So this is the club's first project," Portgas announced. "We are to make this runt into a man! A man among men! A manly man!"
I felt the wheels of stupidity turning.
Although, as much as I hated to admit it, Portgas was right about one thing. Looking at Tony Tony now, he wasn't exactly built that of a boy. More like a girl. In fact, if you were to put a wig and a female uniform on him, he could easily pass as a female student here and no one would be the wiser.
Apparently, Tony Tony took that affront to heart as he struggled to stand up and call Portgas out. "Hey, that's not true! I-I'm a man too, you know!"
Portgas's eyes glinted as he turned back to him. "Is that so…?"
He grabbed Tony Tony and stuck…his hand…down…
Oh. Oh no. Portgas went too far this time!
I wasn't so sure who screamed first, but I knew that it was a toss up between me and Tony Tony. I felt my face burn crimson and rushed in to separate the two. "Stop that! That's—that's harassment, you know!" I snapped.
"Whoa!" Portgas cried out, completely shocked. His eyes marveled at the stretch of his hand. "His is huge!"
"Portgas! Shut up"
He looked at me. "You wanna find out?"
"No! Shut up!"
My eyes flickered over to Basil, and you know what? He didn't seem to notice!
Tony Tony sagged to the ground, his face buried with his hands as though he was experiencing worldwide humiliation. Perhaps he was.
"So…you just brought him here to make him manlier?" I asked, bewildered.
Portgas scratched his cheek. "Actually, I was hoping for him to be…the mascot as well. Yeah, that's it! The mascot." He grinned.
Well, it was official. Portgas's idiocy surpassed all idiots in the universe. He should have established "The World's Most Dangerous Idiots" club and dragged other idiots along with him. Maybe I should become a member for allowing him to do this in the first place… I was such an idiot.
"Chopper!" Portgas suddenly barked.
"Y-yes?" Tony Tony stammered, looking up.
"What club are you currently joining?"
"Uh, th-the biology club…"
"Quit that one. Not manly enough. Besides, it'll get in the way of our activities."
Whoa! Selfish much? And since when did we have a biology club in this school?
Tony Tony looked as though he was a victim being forced to choose his death either cyanide or strychnine. He focused those puppy-dog eyes on me, probably hoping that he could gain help from me. I nearly succumbed, but then his eyes drifted over to Basil for the first time, and that was when his eyes widened in what seemed to be startled surprise.
"I see…" he murmured, staring at the upperclassman. "I'll quit the biology club…and join this one."
Wait, wait, wait, wait… Huh? What did he see? And why did he say all that while looking at Basil?
Tony Tony bit his lip. "But I'm not sure what the literature club does, though…"
"Oh, don't worry about that," Portgas said, folding his arms, "since we're not the literature club."
The small boy blinked, confused, so I cut in to explain. "We're just borrowing this room for a bit. The club you've been forced to join is actually an unnamed one that's going to be led by Portgas," I said, jerking my thumb in the direction of Portgas, "and we'll be participating in unknown activities."
"Uh, what?"
"In fact, that person in the corner is the actual and only literature club member."
"Oh..."
Yeah. Baffling. I commiserated a hundred percent.
"No worries," Portgas said, leaping onto a chair and looking down at us in a parody of a king looking down at his subjects. "I just thought of a name!"
"Great," I muttered. "Let's hear it."
He smirked and inhaled deeply in preparation for the momentous revelation of the name of his grand design.
"The SOS Brigade!"
With that said, he launched a full on detailed elaboration on how he had come across such a brilliant, brilliant name. Apparently, it was an abbreviation for this:
Saving the world by
Overloading it with fun
Superbly awesome brigade
Saving the world by Overloading it with fun—Superbly awesome brigade. No alterations made. Purely the result of Portgas D. Ace's mind.
The SOS Brigade!
I would grant my audience the permission to laugh if I had one.
I was too dumbstruck to manage that, though.
Tony Tony kept his mouth shut, although his face openly read bewilderment. Basil was entirely unaware as to whatever was going on, too absorbed with his novel as always. I felt a headache forming.
This was the start of me regretting ever talking to Portgas.
After bossing us around and being the usual insensitive prick who I had the misfortune of knowing, Portgas finally dismissed today's meeting. I left the old complex with Tony Tony trailing behind me, his shoulders drawn forward and his face wearied.
Pity surged within me. "Uh, Tony Tony-kun…"
He looked up. "Yes?"
"Look, you really don't have to join if you don't want to. Don't worry about Portgas; I'll find a way to explain it to him." Even if it meant facing Portgas's wrath, I could bear with it if it meant that Tony Tony could get away. Hey, at least one of us had to escape, and it was too late for me anyway.
Tony Tony looked at me in the eye, and then shook his head while smiling. "No, it's fine. I want to join."
I still didn't understand why he would. "I don't think that whatever Portgas has planned in mind will turn out so well," I tried to warn him.
"But you're in it, aren't you?"
Yeah, but not by choice.
"This was probably inevitable on the temporal plane..." he murmured, his eyes staring off into the distance.
I blinked. "Pardon?"
"And I'm interested in Basil..."
"Interested?"
"Eh? Oh, no, it's nothing," he said, shaking his head. His tufts of hair shook when he looked up, and he smiled boyishly. "Well, since we're going to be fellow club members, I hope we would get along."
"Uh, if you say so, but look, Tony Tony-kun—"
"Please, just call me Chopper."
He smiled again and tilted his head to the side.
Aww... He was so cute!
The next morning, I found myself depressed as I climbed over Mount Everest. I seriously didn't know how the other students managed to do it. For all I knew, they could be putting up a masterful façade, hiding the fact that this hill really was a pain for them. Regardless of how unaffected they appeared, I couldn't be bothered to put in the same effort. Let the world hear my panting and wheezing; let the world know how much I wished for some kind of transportation that could take me to school without any trouble.
"Kyonko!"
Arms wrapped around my shoulders, and I looked over to see who it was. "Hey, Kuina," I said.
"So?"
"So what?"
"So what's up with you and Portgas-kun?"
I paused. "Wait, what do you mean by that?"
She snorted. "Don't play dumb with me, Kyonko! Everyone has seen the way you and Portgas-kun have been together recently. Don't tell me that you two are…dating, are you?"
"What?" I cried. "Don't be ridiculous, Kuina! That guy's a nut job! Why would I date someone like that?"
She eyed me critically as if she didn't quite believe me, but she shrugged. "Well, just be careful. If you get roped into vandalizing the school field, you'll get suspension, at least."
Oh, as though Portgas could get me into doing something like that.
Deciding to change the topic, I asked, "Did you and Zoro get into another argument?"
"Nah, I decided to walk this way. Sure beats being bombarded with questions by one of his friends who walks with him recently."
"Oh, you mean that Chimp kid?"
"That's Monkey D. Luffy, actually," she laughed. "And yes, him."
I could sympathize with Kuina because I too had been a victim of Chimp's—Monkey's—Luffy's nonstop chatter. That kid was annoying, and it made me curious as to how Kuina's reserved brother could be friends with a hyperactive and noisy boy, especially when Zoro was a third-year and Luffy a first-year. From what Kuina had told me, Zoro and Luffy had met when they had been defending a kid from bullies a few years ago, together beating them up ever so heroically. Kuina had figured that Luffy had simply latched onto Zoro, and Zoro had grown accustomed to Luffy's presence.
"Luffy never did walk the same route as you two did before, right?" I asked.
"Nope. I think he moved houses or something. I'll ask next time." Kuina shrugged again.
I entered class that day and was hit by Portgas's joviality. It was emitting off of him like a tidal wave. I tried to ignore it as I pulled my chair and sat down, maintaining indifference just like how Kuro-sensei would do it. Unfortunately for me, Portgas just had to pressure me by asking me a question, which, of course, just had to revolve around his club.
"You know what we need?" he inquired.
"Beats me."
"We need to get our hands on a mysterious transfer student!"
I sighed. "Then what, pray tell, defines a mysterious transfer student?" I asked flatly.
"Ya know, those who get transferred two months after the school term started. Duh."
"Maybe their parents just got a job transfer and they got dragged along."
"Bah, that would be too forced and unnatural!"
"I'd really like to know what you, of all people, consider unnatural."
"Mm, a mysterious transfer student..." he said wistfully. "When is one going to show up?"
Why was it that he never listened to me?
Since the founding of the SOS Brigade, the once sparse literature clubroom began to accumulate a growing number of items. A portable clothes rack stood in one corner of the room. There was an electric kettle and five cups (the extra two being for our mysterious transfer student, who may or may not come, and Basil, which was weird considering how he wasn't even a member). There was also a traditional teapot, a single-compartment refrigerator, a portable gas stove, and eating utensils. A stereo system (connected to a CD/MD player/radio) and a PS2 sat nearby.
What was this stuff for? How did Portgas obtain these things? Did he plan to live here or something?
Yet despite how well-furnished the room was, Portgas still deemed it lacking as he had cried out, "We need a computer!"
He was sitting on a desk he had stolen from who-knows-where, cross-legged, cross-armed, and just generally crossed. By his side sat a black triangular pyramid across which the words "Brigade Commander" had been scrawled on with magic marker.
"It's a tragedy! We're living in the information age, and yet a brigade as important as mine doesn't have a single computer!" Portgas complained.
In any case, the gang was all present and accounted for today. Basil sat in his usual spot, reading a book about a falling moon of Saturn. Chopper had arrived (despite the fact that he really didn't have to be here) and was seated, looking adorably confused.
As for me? I just wanted to go home.
I didn't like the way Portgas had a sinister smile stretching across his face. He most definitely had a scheme he had been itching to act on.
"That is why," he said in a theatrical tone that would get him a full-time membership in the drama club, "I came up with a plan."
I suppressed a sigh.
He jumped off the desk and sauntered over to the clothes rack where he pulled out a brown bag that had been sitting behind it. He shot a beaming grin at Chopper, who recoiled in fear. "I have a present for you, Chopper!" Portgas sang.
"Oh r-really?" Chopper said, not at all looking pleased by said gift.
The next thing I knew, I was standing outside of the club, flustered, and hearing the unpleasant sounds of Chopper's cries for help and Portgas's evil cackle. When the door opened, I was introduced to a brand new Chopper. She—erm, I mean, he was dressed up in a maid outfit and had a wig on. What caught me off guard was that Portgas had the gall to give Chopper overstuffed boobs.
"What the heck, Portgas?" I sputtered. "I thought the point of making Chopper-kun join was to make him manlier, not girlier!"
Portgas snorted. "Relax, this is all part of my plan." He shoved a digital camera in my hands. "Here. Follow my lead and we'll get our hands on a computer!"
He dragged Chopper and me two doors down the corridor from the literature clubroom (or should I call it SOS Brigade?) that led to the computer clubroom. Portgas cast me a look as though he was sending me a telepathic message. I just looked back up at him blankly and said, "What?"
He rolled his eyes and whispered his plan in my ear.
I gasped. "You—you can't do that!"
"Look, this might be our only chance in getting a computer, and I need your cooperation."
"You're crazy! Buy your own!" My outburst, however, went unheard as Portgas barged inside the clubroom.
"What's up, people?" His voice could be heard outside the room. "We've come to collect a computer!"
The layout of the room was similar to our clubroom, but the room itself seemed a lot smaller. It was due to the large number of monitors and PC cases were placed neatly on the uniformly spaced tables. The low whirring of cooling fans resonated throughout the room. The five male students who had been clattering away at their keyboards all turned their heads towards the entrance to the guy who had just entered their space without preamble.
"Who's in charge here?" Portgas demanded, smirking.
One of the boys stood up, a bit wary. "I'm the president of the computer club. Can I, ah, help you?"
"Do I really need to repeat myself? Give us a computer!"
The computer president flashed an expression of pure "what the hell?" for a second and violently shook his head. "No way! It's not like we get any school funding, so these computers were all bought with our own hard-earned cash! We can't just give them out to people for free!"
"One can't hurt! You've got loads of computers!" Portgas said this while sweeping his hand across the room.
"Now, look here—hang on, who the hell are you people, anyway?"
Portgas puffed up his chest. "I am that I am! I am Portgas D. Ace, the ultimate chief of the SOS Brigade! These are my subordinates, number one and number two!"
Subordinates? And we're numbered now?
"I command you in the name of the SOS Brigade: Hand over a computer at once! No complaining, no whining!" Portgas demanded again, taking up a domineering tone.
The president resolutely held his ground. "I have no idea who you guys are, but there's no way you're getting one of our PCs! Go buy your own!"
"Ha!" our ultimate (and moronic) chief laughed. "So you have chosen resistance, have you? We have ways of breaking down a person." His eyes blazed with confidence. I preemptively felt sorry for the computer guys.
Portgas pulled Chopper by his side and grabbed the president's wrist. Then, before the two could even register what was going on, Portgas smashed the president's hand against Chopper's makeshift boob. I took my cue and made a couple shots.
"What the—!"
"Eeyaah!"
Whoa, did Chopper think that he was a girl for a second?
Portgas then ruthlessly pushed the president on top of Chopper so that he was straddling the maid boy. "Another, Kyonko," he ordered.
I obeyed despite how heavy my conscience weighed now. Portgas's culpable ways were somehow influencing me…
"What do you think you're doing?" the president shrieked as he managed to roll off of Chopper.
Instead of answering, Portgas shook his head and clicked his tongue. "Shame on you. To think that we would catch you in such an indecent position! You better hope that the evidence right here wouldn't convince the administration to disband your little club."
"Th-that's unfair!" the president objected furiously. "I'm innocent! I'm innocent! You were the one who forced me into it!"
"Oh? And just how many people are going to believe your story? With these photos, who's gonna take your side?"
The president turned into an interesting shade of purple. "Th-The other members of the club are all witnesses to my innocence! That was against my will!"
The other four members who had been standing dumbstruck around the room all nodded their heads vehemently, shouting things like "That's right!", "Our president is innocent!", and "You'll never take our PCs!"
If Portgas had listened to you, then, well, he wouldn't be Portgas. "I'll just say the whole club gang-raped her!"
You could have heard a pin drop.
"T-that's stupid! We wouldn't do such a thing!"
"Really now?" Portgas smiled merrily. "Let me tell you a story. A story of a poor and innocent girl who had been passing through this hallway, who happened upon a group of sick, depraved guys. These fellas decided to entice her into their den of evil with candy and toys. But lo and behold! When she entered, she was set upon by these cruel boys who then proceeded to touch her in all sorts of uncomfortable places! But I, the supremely manly chief of the SOS Brigade, arrived in the nick of time and managed to obtain evidence as to their crimes before rescuing the hapless girl! Observe, for I am now a hero!"
Portgas laughed long and loud.
I hung my head, dismayed that I actually took a part of this nonsense.
"But—but Portgas-kun! T-that's n-not what happened—"
Portgas lightly kicked off Chopper who was clinging desperately onto his leg, and haughtily puffed up his chest. "So? What's it gonna be? You gonna hand over a computer or not?"
The president's face, which had gone from normal to purple to white over this ordeal, finally turned ashen. He had been defeated. "J-Just pick one and get out!" he snarled before collapsing dejectedly into a chair.
"Which one's the latest model?" asked Portgas.
That was enough! Portgas was too cold-blooded!
"Wh-Why should we tell you?" one of the members demanded.
Portgas simply pointed at me and the camera. The entire club shuddered as one.
"D-Damnit! That one!"
After examining the brand name and model number of the PC the member had indicated, Portgas took a piece of paper out of his blazer pocket. "I went to the computer store yesterday and had an employee show me all the latest models," he announced. "This wasn't one of them."
How far ahead had he had everything planned out? This was getting freaky.
After inspecting every other computer, Portgas finally pointed towards one of them. "Give us this one."
The president blanched. "Wait! We only bought that one last month!"
"Camera."
"T-take it, you thieves!"
Like he said, we really were thieves.
After disconnecting all the cables and wires, Portgas ordered that the monitor and every other little thing be moved to our clubroom and reconnected. He even had the computer club members run a LAN cable between our room and their room, and connect us to the school's domain on top of that so that he could use the internet! He was no better than a common criminal!
I felt that I really could do nothing to stop Portgas. I was helpless in face of his mad tyranny. All I could do was help Chopper get on his feet. The poor guy was sobbing uncontrollably into his hands.
"Let's just go back for now, okay?" I said gently. He sniffled a bit as I directed him back to the clubroom.
This was so not helping Chopper on how to become manly.
"You, of course!" Portgas said.
I pointed at myself. "Me?"
"You've got free time, don't you? Make it!"
"What about you?"
"I'm too busy looking for more Brigade members!"
The computer had been placed on the desk with the "Brigade Commander" pyramid. Portgas, who was using it to surf the net, added, "Have it finished in a day or so. We can't start doing anything without a web page."
Chopper was sprawled across the table, shoulders shivering, while Basil was doing what he always did— reading his book and ignoring the world around him. So the only person who was actually listening to Portgas was me. And as the only person listening to his insane commands, I was the only one who could comply to them. At least, I was pretty sure that was what Portgas was thinking.
"Look, even if you say that, I'm not making you a website," I deadpanned.
Portgas sighed. "Look, what about if I get you a present for it?"
Was he being generous for once?
"I promise that you'll like it!"
"Fine," I conceded with a sigh. No, not because I wanted to know what Portgas would give me. Simply put, it was a website. I never made one before, but it sounded interesting. I wanted to see if I could create one myself.
And that was that. The next day saw the beginning of my struggle to create a website.
Having said that, though, it really wasn't that hard at all. The guys in the computer club had already preloaded all the necessary software onto the PC, so all I needed to do was follow the instructions, do a little copy-pasting, and that was that. The problem was deciding what to put on the website.
Even now, I still didn't know what the SOS Brigade was about, meaning that I had nothing to reference. After writing "Welcome to the SOS Brigade Home Page!" on the top, I paused.
"Hurry up and finish it, you hear?" Portgas's words resounded like a curse in my ears, so I had to spend lunch break in the clubroom designing the rest of the website.
"Basil-senpai, do you have any ideas on what to write?" I asked. He seemed to come here even during lunch as well.
"No," he said, not bothering to look up. This was none of my business, but did he even pay attention in class?
Turning my eyes from Basil back to the monitor, a thought occurred to me. What would happen if the school discovered that a yet-to-be-recognized student Brigade was using their bandwidth to host a website?
"Eh, don't worry!" I imagined Portgas replying. "If they do find out, we'll just abandon the whole thing. First come, first served, you know?"
Curse him and his happy-go-lucky attitude!
I added a free website counter and our email address and uploaded the website, which consisted of one page with no actual content on it. There, that should satisfy Portgas. After making sure the page could actually load, I closed all the programs and shut down the PC. As I reached out to stretch my aching hands, I was startled to find Basil standing right behind me.
"Here." He held out a thick novel to me. Without thinking, I accepted it, and then recognized the cover—it was the same book that he read a few days ago. "Be sure to read it."
After that brief statement, he turned and left the room before I had time to say something. What was this? Puzzled, I looked back down at the book in my hands. Why did he give me his book? Wait, did he really expect me to read this thing?
The bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. I shook my head and headed my way back to my classroom, book in hand. By the time I took my seat, I felt someone give a hard tug on my ponytail. Ouch.
"Is the website done?" Portgas held the edges of his desk and stared at me with a slightly sullen look on his face. What was his deal? He was chipper the last time I saw him. I took notice of his notebook, which was filled with scribbles, and then my classmates' staring.
I feigned nonchalance as I replied, "It's done, but it's kind of...crap."
"Good enough for now. We only really need the e-mail address, anyway."
"Why don't you just register for a free e-mail address?" I asked.
"That wouldn't do! What if people flood my inbox?'
"How would a newly-made e-mail account get flooded with mail so quickly?"
"Top secret!" He went from sullen to deviously cheerful. At the sight of his smirk, I turned away. Gave me the creeps.
It was after school. I had major misgivings about the entire thing, so why were my legs still carrying me towards the clubroom? And why was I still listening to Portgas's harping? As I finished my ruminations, I found myself outside the door already.
"Hey," I said the people inside.
Naturally, Basil was already there along with Chopper. I wasn't one to talk, but those two certainly had a lot of free time on their hands.
Chopper greeted me with an obvious look of relief on his face. Being stuck in a room alone with Basil tended to be painfully awkward. Understandable.
"Where's Portgas-kun?" Chopper inquired, sounding a tad nervous.
"Who knows? I haven't seen him since sixth period. He's probably gone to steal more equipment from somewhere..." I trailed off uncertainly.
"W-will I be forced to—to do something like yesterday a-again?"
Seeing his brow creased with worry, I tried to be as gentle as possible. "Don't worry. If he tries anything strange again, I'll do everything in my power to stop him! I'm not as strong as he is, but I'm sure I can get him to listen to me."
Chopper broke into a bright smile. "Thank you so much!" he said, giving a cute bow. I felt sorely tempted to throw my arms around him. "I'm counting on you, then!"
"Hey, no worries," I said with a smile of my own.
My assurances might have counted for something, though, if they hadn't lasted as long as a baseless theory, a house of cards, or perhaps a water droplet on the surface of the sun. Within five minutes, my assurances had all been thrown straight out the window. I was such an idiot!
"Hey," Portgas said, entering the room with two bags. "Sorry for the delay."
Placing the paper bags on the ground, he turned and locked the door. Chopper reflexively shuddered upon hearing the door click. Was he like a trained animal that had learned to expect impending doom when hearing that noise?
"What are you planning today, Portgas? And before you start, I'm putting my foot down! We're not getting involved in any more theft or blackmail!" I said, trying to imitate his imperious tone. I was failing, of course.
He quirked a brow. "What are you talking about? I'd never do something like that!"
I pointed at the computer.
"Those guys willingly gave it to us."
Yeah, sure thing. Give us the computer or face blackmail.
"Moving along." He pulled out a stack of papers from one of the bags. They were covered in handwriting. "These fliers will spread the word of the SOS Brigade to everyone! Believe me, it took me a lot of hard work to sneak into the photocopying room and print out two hundred fliers!"
Portgas handed out the fliers to us. So that was what he was doing during sixth period? He should count himself lucky that he didn't get caught! I bet the teachers were already wondering what happened to all the paper and ink in the photocopier.
I didn't spare a glance at the flier when Portgas made another exclamation. "Right, it's time to go hand them out now!"
"What? Where?"
"At the school gate, of course! There should be plenty of students heading home right now!"
Yes, yes, yes, whatever you say, Portgas. But as I was picking up the bag of fliers, he stopped me.
"Don't you worry about it. I only need Chopper for this job!"
"Eh?"
Chopper, who was half-way through reading a flier, looked up with furrowed brows. Portgas rummaged through the other bag and suddenly pulled out another item. "Voila!"
It was a bunny suit. Fur and head and everything. Its cartoonish eyes were frightening to look at.
"Don't tell me that you're forcing him to wear that," I said, exhausted by Portgas's antics.
"He's wearing the pink version. This blue version is mine," he corrected.
I rolled my eyes and looked at Chopper. Sure, the bunny suit beat the maid costume (or so I thought). I mean, if I was considering male pride here, it was tons better! But Chopper didn't seem to think so. He was trembling and horror filled his eyes as though he was experiencing mental trauma.
"Portgas, I don't think that Chopper-kun should wear that," I insisted.
Portgas frowned. "Why not?"
"Because he's still scarred from what happened yesterday, you dolt." I folded my arms, making sure that I looked stern like Kuro-sensei. "Leave him out of this."
Portgas looked as though he was about to protest, but then closed his mouth and looked thoughtful. "How about you wear it, then?" he suggested, his eyes gleaming.
I sputtered. "What, are you crazy—?"
Chopper wrapped his skinny arms around my waist, looking up at me with wide and teary eyes. "Please!" he sobbed. "Please! I'll be ruined for marriage!"
"I'll...do it," I said solemnly. "I'll wear the bunny suit."
And that was how I ended up being an oversized rabbit while handing out fliers.