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Some swearing, brief discussion of suicide

Chapter 11 – a few minutes later

John and Sherlock made their way to Mycroft's office. Mycroft looked up as they entered. He offered them seats.

"I am delighted to see Dr. Watson refrained from hitting you, Sherlock. Although it would have been amusing for both of us to sport identical black eyes."

John looked hard at Mycroft. "The day's not over yet."

Sherlock winced a little at that comment. No, John still had a long way to go to forgiving him.

"As you can see Sherlock did not die after jumping off the roof," It was John's turn to wince. Everything was still too raw and new. "I am sure at a more convenient time he will be able to fill you in on all the little details as to how he managed to accomplish that. Suffice it to say that Sherlock is alive and you my dear Doctor Watson are in even more danger because of that."

John looked at Mycroft "How do you mean?"

"You haven't told him yet?" Mycroft looked at Sherlock, his fingers were steepled under his chin.

"We've hardly had time, Mycroft," he turned to John. "There was good reason why I did what I did. When I was up on the roof with Moriarty he gave me a choice. Either I jump or you, Mrs. Hudson and Lestrade would die. He had assassins targeting all of you. He killed himself rather than give me the codes to deactivate the hit men. I had no choice, I would rather have died than see you die, John." Sherlock looked intently at him trying to convey some level of understanding so his friend would accept his choice. "I did not wish to see you hurt by my choosing to jump, or Martha or Greg, but I did not wish to see you dead either, knowing I could have prevented it. I had realized ahead of time that there was a possibility I might not survive my next confrontation with Moriarty so I made certain arrangements at St. Bart's to make it look like suicide."

John was stunned. He had suspected that something must have happened between Sherlock and Moriarty, but not this. The anger he had felt towards Sherlock lessened slightly. The anger towards Moriarty increased exponentially. Then the part about arrangements at St. Bart's registered.

"Molly helped, didn't she," It wasn't a question. John didn't really feel hurt that Molly had known all this time. Deep down he understood that Sherlock would need an expert in making it look like he had really died, someone to fill out the death certificate.

John rubbed his face. "Well that better explains how she always avoided looking me in the eye. She seemed guilty about something." He sighed and looked at Sherlock "It's ok. I'm beginning to understand what it must have been like for you and why you felt you had no choice. It doesn't mean I have to like it, however. And don't think I missed the part that you had realized ahead of time Moriarty was going to kill you. We'll renew that discussion about how you are going to tell me stuff in the future, later." And he frowned at Sherlock.

Sherlock nodded pleased that John was beginning to accept some of the whys, a little nervous about John's future discussion with him.

"So," John said. "Is that where you've been all this time? Hunting down hit men?"

Sherlock was pleased at how quickly John grasped the situation. He practically beamed at him.

"Very good, John. Not just hit men, but Moriarty's crime syndicate as well. I have managed to neutralize the threat against Mrs. Hudson. There is a mole in Scotland Yard in Lestrade's division, who has yet to be identified. We know who targeted you. And we know he's in the city."

He looked at John significantly, wondering if the doctor would make the connection.

John sat looking at Sherlock. He thought about that last remark and about all the business of the last day. He sat up straighter as he realized who Sherlock was talking about.

"Moran? That nutter who's after Mary?" he looked back at Mycroft. "Well, that makes a lot more sense. You knew he was after me and you knew he was interested in Mary, so instead of letting either of us know what was going on, you've let us both wander around the city hoping some assassin was going to take a shot at one of us!" John was back to being furious with Mycroft. He looked at Sherlock. He could tell Sherlock was as equally mad at Mycroft.

"You didn't know about all of this did you?" John said softly to Sherlock.

"I had just discovered a few days ago that Moran was in London. I was unaware of my brother's plans until this morning. I was not happy when I discovered he was trying to use you both as bait to lure Moran out of hiding." He turned back from John and looked hard at Mycroft. "I would have found Moran eventually. You did not have to endanger others to draw him out."

Mycroft looked at Sherlock. He was not going to apologize for this. "I did what I thought was best. I wanted Moran neutralized as much as you did. There was the chance that Moran would have targeted John before we were aware of his actions. We have had great difficulty tracking him. We did not even know until recently that he was even involved with Moriarty. He knows this city as well as you do and has many hiding places." He paused and glanced briefly at John, not an apology exactly, but almost a warning as to what he would say next. "It has been difficult for everyone, Sherlock, your having to go into hiding. John was in no more danger from Moran than he was from the depression he was experiencing due to your death. You would not necessarily know this, but I was concerned for John's state of mind after your 'suicide'. I was hoping that with Moran eliminated you might be able to come home sooner."

John stilled, flushed and was looking both dangerous and humiliated. He had not wanted Sherlock to know that he had come close a couple of times. He didn't believe he would have actually taken that last step, but there had been times when the sorrow, guilt and horror of what had happened had almost overwhelmed him. Sherlock was forcibly reminded of his deductions of a few minutes previous, when he had ascertained that John had been depressed and had possible thoughts of suicide. He was agitated at the thought that John could have taken steps to end his life. He was feeling extremely uncomfortable and subdued that he had caused him to even contemplate it. His decisions, once again, had had unforeseen consequences. He would have to ensure that nothing of this magnitude ever affected John in this way again. Sherlock also understood that John was an extremely private man and he would feel ashamed at the direction of this discussion.

"Mycroft," John said his voice quiet with suppressed anger. "You don't have the right. You don't have the right to discuss my personal business," his lips were pressed into a thin line. Sherlock noted that John's left hand was trembling slightly. "And you don't have the right to play with people's lives this way." Sherlock reached out and laid a hand on John's arm, in comfort not suppression. John glanced at him, understanding the gesture.

Mycroft looked at John and narrowed his eyes. He spoke in a very cold voice "I assure you, Dr. Watson, I do."

Sherlock felt the need prevent his brother and his best friend from shedding more blood. He looked at both of them.

"We need to discover Moran's whereabouts so that we can kill him," Sherlock said bluntly. John thought No more tiptoeing around the issue. No more eliminate or neutralize. Nope. Straight up gonna kill the bastard. I think I'm fine with that.

Sherlock murmured to John "As am I." And John knew that Sherlock had read him just as easily as always had.

"So how? How do we find this maniac? Do we have any ideas as to where he is?" asked John.

"No," said Mycroft. "My best people are on it, but he seems to know where all the CCTV cameras are. We cannot track him that way."

Sherlock looked thoughtful "Homeless Network."

"Yes, a possibility," Mycroft nodded slightly.

John cleared his throat. "I think your best idea so far, as much as I don't like it, is bait. Use me. He wants me even if it's just to find out where Mary is."

Sherlock's eyes snapped at John. "No!"

"Sherlock…'

"I said No, John. We aren't using you that way. The man's a sharpshooter. If he decides he doesn't need you for information, he'll simply kill you, probably shoot you from afar."

John looked intently at Sherlock, "If we decide to do this, then yes Sherlock. I'm sure we will take every precaution. I'll wear a vest for Christ's sake, but I am going to be there and help in any way possible. You are not going to stop me." The voice of Captain John Watson was speaking now. Sherlock knew he wasn't going to be talked out of this and even though he was almost regretting his near promise to tell John everything, he would accept his friend's decision.

It didn't mean he had to like it.

He nodded sharply and they both looked back at Mycroft.

"Well, now that that's nicely settled, do we offer the same consideration to Ms. Morstan to take part in any of this?"

A resounding NO! came out of both John's and Sherlock's mouths at the same time.

"She's not to have anything to do with this," John said firmly as Sherlock overlapped with "Considering the nature of her relationship with Moran she would be a liability."

John looked at Sherlock "What, not worried about her safety?"

"Of course John. She is a friend and I don't wish to see her hurt anymore than she already has, but the most logically argument for keeping her out of this sordid affair is she will be a liability. "

"Who's going to tell her?"

Sherlock smirked at him. "Since you are the one who has elevated the relationship to something beyond mere friends I will allow you to do the honours."

John blanched at the thought of how that conversation was going to go, but he refrained from saying anything.

The phone rang on Mycroft's desk. He answered it

"Yes? Oh. Oh I see. Yes, I will speak with him. Did he say what it was in regards too?' There was a lengthy pause. "Oh yes. I see. Yes, give me five minutes and then send him in. Yes. Thank you," he hung up the phone and looked at John. "That was security. It seems that Detective Inspector Lestrade has come to speak with me to see if I know anything about your whereabouts. Having failed to show up at the surgery today, Dr. Sawyer contacted the Inspector. She was concerned because you had cancelled your dinner date with her last night and then when you failed to come into work she assumed the worst."

"Oh shit," said John.

"Indeed," said Mycroft "How do you wish to handle this?"

John thought furiously. He turned to Sherlock "Do you want to reveal yourself to Greg yet? You said you haven't found the agent at the Yard. Maybe Greg could do it for you. He's good at that sort of thing Sherlock. Better than you ever gave him credit for. I think he deserves to know what's going on. And you know what I think about you continuing this mad plan on your own. You have friends. Let us help."

Sherlock looked back at John. He thought for a moment. "You may be correct. I had originally gone into hiding to secure the safety of the three of you, but perhaps I need to spread the work as it were. I think it is time to let Lestrade know as well." He was also thinking about what Mycroft had said about wrapping this up more quickly. For John's sake.

"Learning are we?" said John, his turn to smirk.

Sherlock refrained from commenting.

"I am so glad we have gone to all the trouble of hiding your existence, Sherlock, only to confirm to everybody that you did not die," Mycroft said sarcastically.

Sherlock was prevented from replying by a knock at the door. The three men stood up and Mycroft called for the person to enter.

Lestrade strode in, took one look at Sherlock, paled and then spoke.

"Bloody, fucking hell. I should have known you'd come back from the dead!"

oOo

Several hours later, after bringing Lestrade up to speed, they had a plan of action in place, using the Homeless Network and the four men present in the room as well as Mycroft's agents. Once they discovered where Moran was holed up, they knew what they were going to do. They decided that Greg would take some badly needed vacation time and work on his own time. They did not want to involve the Yard. They did not know the identity of the agent hidden there and they did not want the world at large to know of Sherlock's return. At least not yet.

None of them knew that all their plans would be for nothing.