As The World Keeps Turning
Chapter 3
Amy's POV
Karma and I make our way downstairs to the kitchen immediately after I show her the list of plans for this particular sleepover. It included the usual stuff, like baking cookies, eating cookies, and having cookie remorse, and binge watching Netflix until who knows what hour… but something was a little different this time. I laid out some sort of a time slot for just talking. Not gossip, just talking about us. Kinda like a heart-to-heart conversation just between the two of us. I figured that something like that is exactly what we need to get back on track and who knows, it might even make our friendship stronger. That's what I'm hoping for anyway.
Karma's POV
I help Amy take out the ingredients for our impending remorse cookies, and think about the list she made. I know she wants us to just talk things out, but I'm a little worried that it might make things more awkward. What if she tells me that she loves me again? Just the thought of that leaves a knot in my stomach. But something is a bit off this time. It's not the usual feeling I get when I feel like I've accidentally hurt her, or I have felt guilty for not loving her back. This feeling is different. I can't really put my finger on what the feeling is though…
Amy's POV
Later, after we had eaten double our weight in cookies or god knows what else… karma and I are just lying on the couch, with my head in her lap. Just like old times. I can't help but smile to myself thinking that I have my best friend back. I also can't help the fact that I feel different around her. Confessing my feelings to her was actually a shock to both of us. I shake off these thoughts and absent mindedly play with the end of Karma's auburn hair.
"What are you thinking about?" Karma asks me quietly.
"A lot of things really. It may not seem like it, but I have a lot going on up here, unfortunately, it's not just air taking up space." I laugh. I can feel the corners of my lips turn down as my mind drifts off to Reagan. I hadn't talked to her after our camping trip, even though it wasn't that long ago. I really don't even know what to say to her. Did I even mean it when I said I loved her? Or did I just say it because it was pretty much expected?
"Amy." My thoughts are cut off by the sound of Karma's voice.
"Sorry. I uh, was just thinking." I practically whisper.
"You just said that before. Come on. Tell me what you're thinking."
"Karma I honestly don't think you want to hear about this…"
"Just tell me." She presses.
"Reagan… she said that she loved me…" I breathe out. I can feel her body tense underneath me slightly. I sit up and glance at her from the corner of my eye.
"Oh um. That was fast. Does that uh, mean that you slept with her…?" she asks quietly.
"I thought that you already knew that I did before… anyway, what does it matter?"
"Amy what matters is that you're not ready for this. Just because you slept with my boyfriend doesn't mean that you're ready for this type of thing!"
My head snaps around to look at her, and I can feel my cheeks turn a shade of flaming red. Looking at her, I can see her turn as pale as a ghost, and her searching for something to say. I can tell she regrets what just came out of her mouth, but that doesn't change the fact that it did.
"Amy… I…."
"I really can't even believe you just said that Karma…" I stutter. I can actually see tears start to well in her eyes. I shake my head. "I'm not gonna say that I didn't deserve it though." I trail off.
"Wait, what?" she stares at me, wide eyed with a lone tear rolling down her right cheek.
"It happened. And I know that you aren't over it, so you can say what you want." I brush a few strands of blonde hair out of my face. "Karma I know you well enough to be able to tell when you haven't let something go, and this is one of those times. I know that I can't apologize to you enough, or tell you enough times that it was a mistake and I regret everything I did to hurt you. I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me and not use my mistake against me…"
She breathes out a deep sigh, kind of sounding like a weight was lifted off of her shoulders. "The worst part about this whole thing is that I don't think I really forgave you until just now… using that against you was really unfair of me, but it helped me to realize when it's actually time to move on." She smiles a bit. A small smile, but it's still something.
"So you really do forgive me now, right Karms?" I feel a smile start to form on my face.
"Yeah Amy, I really really do."
Karma's Pov
The smile lighting up Amy's face gives me another weird feeling in my stomach, almost a fluttery feeling. I brush it off and pull her into a quick hug. "So, tell me more about this Reagan thing." I see her smile falter a bit as soon as these words leave my mouth.
"Well it's like you said. It has all happened so fast. It's just really strange for someone to say they love me in that way, and actually mean it…" she trails off and I see her eyes drift away from me.
"You deserve to beloved Amy. You do. And I guess that Reagan seems like a really great girl, even though I really don't know her that well considering we got off on the wrong foot. I just don't want you to feel uncomfortable in the relationship, she is a lot older than you, you know." I can feel myself secretly hoping that she doesn't want to continue the relationship anymore, and that I won't have to share my best friend with anyone else. I just want to keep her from getting hurt, that's all I've ever wanted…
Amy's POV
I can feel myself start to crumble. The more I talk about this with Karma, the more I start to realize that I'll never be over being in love with her. I'll never really be able to move on, or be with anyone one hundred percent. These thought swirling through my head… I can feel them crushing me from the inside out. And the worst part is, I can't even tell her. I just got Karma back, and in this moment, I silently vow to do anything to keep her. I may not be able to have her the way I want, but it's so much better than not at all. If it means forcing myself to move on, then I'll do it. I want her to be happy, and if lying is the only way, then I'll do it.
"Yeah Karma. I agree with you. But I do really like her. I really want you to get to know her more too. I love having her around, and I know she really does care for me. I think I might just talk to her about moving too fast maybe? But maybe not. I'll see." I force a smile and lean into her shoulder.
"Oh… ok. That sounds good Amy. I'm happy for you." I can see her glance over at the clock. "Alright, since when is it 3 am?"
"Wow time sure does fly." I laugh. "Wanna just go up to bed?" I ask.
"Yeah let's go"
Karma's POV
I hear Amy flop onto the bed as I go to brush my teeth. When I go to rinse, I can hear my phone ringing from Amy's bed where I left it. I know that it's probably Liam, and the last thing I want is to upset Amy again, and the second to last thing I want is to talk to him.
"It's Satan. I mean, Liam. It's Liam." Amy coughs.
"Did you just call him Satan?" I poke my head out of the bathroom and raise an eyebrow at her.
"I don't know, that's debatable really."
I laugh at her despite the comment and go to join her in the bedroom. I look at my phone, and clear the notification of the missed call. I still really need to think about where I stand with him. I'll call him tomorrow. For now, I just want to spend this time with my best friend. We get under the blankets and I feel a shiver go up my spine as Amy's foot unexpectedly grazes my leg. I sit up to look at her and lean over so that I'm over her head.
"Goodnight Amy. Thank you for putting up with me and for being the best friend ever. I really do love you for that."
"Goodnight Karms."
I can practically feel her smile even through the dark, and with that, I turn over to go to sleep. For the moment, everything is ok. But tomorrow…. That might be a different story.
*Thank you guys so much for your feedback! And also, I'm sorry that I keep updating these so late at night. (it's actually almost 4 am right now) I'm a nursing major in college right now, so these updates will most likely be later like they have been because I'm actually super busy. If it takes longer than a day or two, I apologize in advance. I didn't forget about the story, I promise! It's going to start to get interesting soon, so stick around, share with your friends, and don't forget to review, every one helps my story!*