This War's Not Over: Chapter 22

Indecision

Hi everyone!

Had a bit of a writer's block last week but am finally back with another chappy! My leg is much better, and I'll hopefully be back on my two feet in a week or so!

Enjoy

"I want you to kill me."

Ichigo opened his mouth, but no words came out. He closed it again, his breath catching in his throat. Miko watched him closely, her lips so tight that the blood had drained away from them. Ichigo stared. She's asking me to kill her.

"No," he said quietly, but his voice came out so hoarse he didn't recognize it.

This was Miko's life they were talking about. She was one of his closest allies. She had saved his ass when he needed it. And now he was just supposed to kill her? She's suffering, a small voice argued, and this time, it wasn't Shiro. It was just him.

"I know you can," she said. "I've seen the way you were prepared to kill Jun. You can do it again."

It took awhile before Ichigo found his voice again. He was almost indignant this time.

"I'm not so cruel an espada to kill one of my own comrades," he hissed, anger and hesitation beginning to make an appearance on his face. "I'm not Aizen!"

She was out of the hatch she was about to leap down into in an instant, flashstepping towards Ichigo and pulling out tensa zangetsu out of his cloth belt. She pushed it into his hand, before manoeuvring his arm so that the blade was poised at her throat.

"Kill me. With this very zanpakuto. For me."

Ichigo's eyes flickered with indecision, but before he could spit back a reply, she turned away and disappeared into the hatch after the others. He stared after her, tightening his grip on tensa zangetsu before slipping his sword back into his cloth belt.

"I'm going to find a cure Miko," Ichigo vowed, his eyes narrowed in sorrow.

The espada gave the demolished remains of Seireitei one last look over, before leaping down the hatch and into the darkness of the sewers.

"Intruders! Put your hands where we can see them!" a fearful voice echoed across the damp hallway.

Ichigo could tell that the voice was ahead of him, and he began to run as he realized that those commands must have been given to his teammates who were currently in front of him. His steps echoed all over the sewer's corridors, and Ichigo was sure they must have heard him approach by now, but he didn't care.

He halted when he caught a glimpse of his friends in the dimly lit corridor. Gin wasn't among them, to Ichigo's frustration, and the teen knew that the bastard must have slipped away to attend to some important matters.

He noticed soul reapers were barring their way. Relief spread through the teen: so there really were soul reapers left after all. Yet he didn't understand why they were acting so unfriendly towards Rukia and Renji. Shouldn't they know their lieutenants?

"Who's there?" one of the soul reapers demanded as Ichigo stepped out of the shadows.

His friends turned around to see him, Rukia's eyes brimming with annoyance. "What took you so long?"

Miko avoided his gaze, staring straight ahead at the fearful soul reapers. Ichigo ignored Rukia, making his way towards them and raising his chin. "Don't you recognise us?"

The soul reapers looked at him from up to down, before immediately readying their zanpakutos. "An arrancar! The last thing we need right now!"

Ichigo's eyes narrowed as they kept persisting to annoy him with their stupidity. He knocked them all out with one sonido, not turning back to look back at his friends to follow. He knew they would. He kept walking, knowing they wouldn't approve of his violent method, but it had saved them some time at least. Blame it on Shiro's influence.

Ichigo and the rest of the team continued to pace down the corridor, and the teen was now angry at himself for knocking all the soul reapers out. They could have given them some directions.

Ichigo was so entranced in his frustrated thoughts when someone's blade came crashing down towards him. Ichigo didn't draw his sword, only stepping to the side to avoid getting hit. His attacker immediately leapt backwards, clearly surprised that his opponent hadn't drawn his zanpakuto. Grimmjow and Nel were alert, hands threatening to pull out their own swords as they watched the soul reaper hidden in the gloom.

"I-Ichigo? Is that you?" the attacker said suddenly.

Ichigo blinked, squinting as his opponent made his way to one of the lit torches, before everyone behind him gasped in recognition.

"Ikkaku-san!" Renji said from behind him, pushing his way through Uryu and Chad to join his old friend.

Ikkaku put away his sword, an amused grin on his face. "What're you guys doing down here? Finally decided to show up, did you?"

Renji's eyes flashed with guilt. "We're sorry we weren't there when you needed us…What happened?"

Ikkaku just tutted and sighed, waving his hands about in the air as if to designate the destroyed Seireitei above. "Well it's obvious that the Royal Guard came and destroyed the whole of Seiretei. We weren't prepared. Squad 0 was amazingly strong. Cut our numbers in half. Left before we could think up of a counterattack. Captain Yamamoto decided it would be safest to hide down here and discuss tactics until they come back again."

Renji and Rukia exchanged a pain-filled glance before the petite advanced towards Ikkaku, her eyes anxious. "And Nii-sama…Is Nii-sama…?"

"Captain Kuchiki is fine," Ikkaku flashed her a reassuring grin.

She let out a huge sigh of relief, and Renji's shoulders relaxed. Ichigo nodded back to Nel and Grimmjow, who slid back their zanpakutos back into their sheaths. Ikkaku peered from behind Rukia and Renji at Ichigo, his eyes curious but concerned. "Speaking of which, what the hell happened to you Ichigo?"

Ichigo cocked a brow while Rukia sniggered in the background. Nel appeared from behind Ichigo, a huge child-like grin on her face as she grasped Ichigo's horn and gave it a good tug. "What, this?"

"Nel, stop!" Ichigo gasped a she tugged harder to show it wasn't coming off. "Let go!"

She giggled and let go suddenly, sending him plopping back down to the ground. His cheeks heated as he saw everyone laughing, before furiously turning back to Ikkaku.

"As you can see," Uryu smiled, "He's an espada right now."

Ikkaku stared for awhile, making Ichigo uncomfortable, before turning away with his sword leaning on his shoulder. "Captain Zaraki will be happy. Let's go."

Ichigo shivered at the name. He didn't want to face Kenpachi no matter what form he took. Everyone follow soundlessly after Ikkaku as he led the way to Gotei 13's new base of operations.

The more they neared the centre of the sewers, the more soul reapers there were. Some sat in clusters playing cards and drinking sake, while others practised their skills with newfound determination. Ichigo's heart clenched as he saw Hanatarou tending to the wounded, the injured soul reapers laid down in rows as the water ways disappeared and led to larger grounds.

They neared the centre of the sewers, a clearing opening up with lit torches contouring the walls. At the end of the room sat Head Captain Yamamoto himself, and Ichigo could see all the captains lined up in two rows just like in a captain's meeting.

"I sent someone to warn everyone of your arrival," Ikkaku said almost apologetically, as if he wasn't sure whether or not the team had sought Yamamoto's attention.

"It's fine," Ichigo said as his yellow gaze met with the Head Captain's.

Ichigo saw that everyone was looking at him closely, assessing his control over his body and his new appearance. Ichigo paced forwards and his friends nervously followed.

"Welcome, 0 Espada Kurosaki Ichigo," Yamamoto greeted carefully. "It is good to see you, lieutenants Kuchiki Rukia and Abarai Renji."

Renji came forwards, getting down on his hands and knees and bowing. Rukia did the same.

"We are sorry we weren't there to serve you, Head Captain Yamamoto," Renji said, his eyes narrowed with guilt.

"It is hard to say whether we can still consider you loyal to Gotei 13 after you went after Kurosaki Ichigo," Yamamoto said gravely.

"We have lost more than half of our officers," Kyoraku drawled. "With all due respect, we need as much help as we can get, Yama-ji."

Ichigo flashed Kyoraku a grateful glance. You could always count on the 8th Division captain to come to your defence. Yamamoto seemed to consider this for a moment, before nodding reluctantly. "Very well then. Kuchiki Rukia and Abarai Renji will be accepted back into the Gotei 13 ranks. We will see after all this is over what to do with them."

Ukitake sighed with relief, while Byakuya stared at Ichigo unforgivingly. Yamamoto's gaze shifted towards Ichigo, the teen boldly returning it.

"As for you and your subordinates, Kurosaki Ichigo, your fate still remains undecided," Yamamoto reminded him.

Ichigo knew that the meeting about what to do with him had been interrupted back then before he had been kidnapped. His eyes flickered with anger for a second, but he forced them to go cold. "I should urge you to recognize that these espadas are no longer under Aizen's influence, and that what goes for Kuchiki Rukia and Abarai Renji should go for us as well. The Royal Guard is very strong. It would be risky to lose such an opportunity to gain more people that could make the difference in between your survival or your demise."

"Silence!" Yamamoto slammed his cane down on the floor, but it did little to make Ichigo flinch.

Rukia was staring up at the Head Captain anxiously, her eyes hopeful that he would accept Ichigo, Nel, Grimmjow and Miko for the war. Chad and Uryu were forgiven, since they had no collaboration with Aizen, nor did they have espada attributes. It was almost lucky that Gin had decided to eclipse himself—otherwise Yamamoto would never even consider the matter.

"All captains in favour," Yamamoto said in a dark voice.

Relief spread through Ichigo as most captains seemed to be for. He made sure everyone caught his grateful stare, before raising his triumphant yellow gaze at Yamamoto.

"Very well," the old man said begrudgingly, tapping his cane. "Gotei 13 will allow Kurosaki Ichigo and his subordinates to live and to fight in this war."

"One more thing," Ichigo said, his eyes narrowed. "Where is my family?"

It was Shinji who spoke up. "We decided it was safer to bring them here in case the Royal Guard decided to lure you back in using them as bait Ichigo."

Ichigo's shoulders relaxed. "Can I see them?"

"We'll lead you to them," it was Kensei who responded.

Ichigo was glad the Vizards were here. Even though before he had no desire whatsoever to have anything to do with them, they were now one of his closest allies; most had even become his friends.

"This meeting is adjourned," Yamamoto interrupted them gruffly.

The captains dispersed, and so did Ichigo's team. Renji left with Byakuya, Rukia with Ukitake. Ichigo let them go—they needed to tend to their squads. Miko said she would scout for Gin, but Ichigo knew better—they were probably plotting something behind his back. Uryu and Chad wanted to train to become stronger so that they could keep up with Ichigo—they left with Rose to find Urahara. So Ichigo was left with Nel and Grimmjow.

"You guys don't have to stay with me all the time," Ichigo turned towards them, rolling his eyes.

"Shit always happens when we leave you, Ichigo," Grimmjow grinned. "Take when you got kidnapped, for instance."

Ichigo frowned. "I can look after myself. I don't need you two to be my bodyguards."

Nel just sighed and placed her hands on Ichigo's shoulders, making him turn his back to her then pushing him along towards Shinji. "Let's just find your family, alright?"

Ichigo felt like she was talking to a little five-year old, but he said nothing to show his anger. Shinji grinned as he saw Ichigo, looking at his espada-like appearance like so many others had done. Ichigo's eye twitched but again he did nothing to show his annoyance.

He followed Shinji down the damp corridor, surprising himself that he was still so calm after everything that had happened.

"So you can't turn back, huh?" Shinji's voice snapped Ichigo out of his thoughts.

Ichigo's eyes narrowed. "Guess not."

Did Shinji know something about how he could revert back? He did know a lot about inner hollows after all. Shinji kept walking, turning his head towards Ichigo and giving him his piano smile. "Maybe your body and soul are just too stressed to revert back. Thinks it's safer to stay that way."

"Stressed?" Ichigo repeated.

"Yeah," Shinji smiled. "Maybe you just need to calm down and relax or something."

"I'm the Hogyoku and the Oken, Shinji. People are hunting me down. How am I not supposed to be stressed?" Ichigo scoffed.

Shinji just shrugged. "Take my advice and try Ichigo—if you want to be a soul reaper that is."

Ichigo stiffened at his last comment, before pressing forwards. Again with the question Ichigo didn't want to answer. Don't you want to be a soul reaper? In the end, the good guys had proved to be just as bad as Aizen. It didn't matter to Ichigo which side he was on anymore.

They stopped by a curtain, which Shinji lifted and went inside. The three espadas followed, and Ichigo was immediately assaulted by Isshin's flying kick. "Ichigooooo!"

Ichigo's punch sent his father flying into the brick wall over Karin and Yuzu's head, before the soul reaper slid back down to the ground with a thud.

"Ichi-nii!" Karin smiled, her eyes full of relief.

"Nii-chan!" Yuzu joined in.

Ichigo eyed Toshiro coldly as the short captain edged away from Karin and into the corner of the wall. Apart from that, Ichigo was glad his family was safe.

"Kurosaki-kun!" Orihime stared at his appearance with slight fear, and Ichigo felt a twinge of hurt.

Her presence instantly reminded him that Nel still needed healing, although the espada seemed to have recovered from her exterior injuries thanks to Rukia and Miko's healing. However, her reiatsu was still low, and Ichigo almost felt guilty for not thinking about it before.

"Inoue, could you please heal Nel?"

Orihime peered behind Ichigo at the former 3rd espada, giving a small nod as she called upon her healing fairies to form an orange bubble around Nel. Ichigo saw his father watching him closely. Ichigo was sick and tired of everyone doing so.

"I'm going out for some fresh air," Ichigo muttered.

He left with a sound of static before Grimmjow or anyone else could protest.

Ichigo sat on the remains of Sokyoku Hill, his eyes narrowed in melancholy. So many things had taken place in this very spot. It was where he had saved Rukia, where he had fought Byakuya and the rest of his battles. This was always the spot where he would stare down at the view of the Seireitei, wandering if he was doing the right thing.

Ichigo wasn't sure the soul reapers were the good guys anymore. They had used him just as much as Aizen had for his experiments. And yet—ever since he had left Soul Society after saving Rukia, he had felt this alluring feeling to this place. Every time he came back here, he wanted to stay. But he knew he couldn't. He was still alive. He still had a life back in the world of the living.

The teen had believed that his soul reaper powers were almost like a burden. His two lives had torn him in two. But then when his soul reaper powers had finally disappeared from his life—he had wished he could have had them again to protect everyone. He had been miserable. And he knew now that a normal life had never been what he truly wanted. With the soul reapers gone, Ichigo had felt this empty hole in his heart.

"You could die and live here you know," Shiro's voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

Ichigo frowned. Leave it to his hollow to eavesdrop on what he was thinking.

"If this is your way of calming down and reverting back, it's working like shit by the way,"his hollow added. "It's raining."

Ichigo closed his eyes and ignored his hollow's previous jibe. "I can't die. What will Karin and Yuzu do?"

"I'm sure they saw how depressed you were without your soul reaper powers," his hollow hissed.

"Do you want me to die that badly?" Ichigo scoffed.

His hollow grinned inside his mind. "The hogyoku makes us like a God, Kingy. You could easily wish for your body to die and see Queeny."

Ichigo's face flushed. "Is this what this is all about? It's all about Rukia isn't it?"

But Shiro's mention of the hogyoku making them God haunted Ichigo. It was exactly what Aizen had proclaimed himself to be.

"Think about it King. Have a good, long think."

And with a bout of laughter, Ichigo felt Shiro's presence fade away into his mind. Ichigo gave up on Shinji's advice—the vizard had probably just been messing with him. Relaxing made him think. And thinking made him depressed.

He stood up, trying not to think about his hollow's suggestion. His feet led him to walk across the rubble, Ichigo having no idea where his legs were taking him. After awhile, he stopped, frowning at the place he had absentmindedly arrived in.

It was entrance to the Maggot's Nest.

Finished!

Have a lot of exams next week so please be patient! Please review! 8D