Oswald
About a week had gone by since the epic dinner failure...I think...I couldn't be quite sure, because I had lost a sense of time.
I fell to my knees, crying into my hands as I watch Nygma speed off in that cab. The next thing I knew, I was being kicked awake by a cop patrolling the area. I picked my sad self up and hobbled to my club.
I saddled up to the bar and Gabe raised an eyebrow, but didn't ask questions, just poured me a drink of whisky on the rocks. I threw it back in one gulp and asked for another. I don't know how long this went on, and I didn't care. I just wanted to forget that the whole damn night had even happened.
Sun was peaking through the doorway of the club as I sat up from the bar stool rubbing the back of my neck with my left hand.
Dear god...what happened? The last thing I remember was Gabe pouring me that glass of whiskey. After that, it was blur.
I held my pounding head in my right hand.
I was a fool. Nygma is such a kind man, and my cowardice just pushed him out of my life. He won't come back to me. Why would he?
I fled into an open booth and curled up into ball clutching a pieces of my hair, tears cascading down my face.
The routine of the first night at my club continued for the next two. I think I concerned Gabe at my sudden alcoholism and overall depression, but he thankfully didn't ask.
On day four, I got even more pathetic. I called Nygma almost constantly, but always hung up if he answered or got his voicemail.
Day five, I finally got the nerve to leave a voice mail, that simply said I was sorry. I doubted that would do any good, but it helped me feel a bit better.
On day six, I left one more voice mail.
"Hi, Neg...you probably hate my guts right now, which is completely understandable. I would hate me too. My voice is probably the last thing you want to hear. I assure you that if don't return this call, you will never hear from me. I'll leave you alone...I mean it..."
Keep it together! I told myself mentally as I felt the tears burning in my eyes.
"I just want to leave you with one last riddle: What's the longest word in the dictionary?"
I hung up the phone and collapsed into tears again.
Nygma
I needed time alone, I needed to evaluate the entire situation and even the relationship between Oswald and myself. I had never been so angry and hurt before and I had been through some rough situations lately. I answered maybe two of his calls, I quit after figuring out he would just hang up once he heard my voice. I left him a voice mail telling him to come to my apartment that evening if he wanted to talk.
I think I could have a healthy conversation now. The voice was pleased I had stood up for myself for once.
Oswald
I wasn't sure if that last voice mail had gotten through to Nygma, or he was just the forgiving type, but I'd take what I was given to me.
I headed to his apartment and knocked announcing my presence
"Come in," Nygma responded to the knock. He was standing in his living room ironing a few of his shirts.
I breathed in and entered into the apartment.
I just stared down at the floor sheepishly, muttering a "Hello." to Nygma upon entering.
I wasn't sure what he wanted of me or even where to start this conversation. So I just stood there like a dope staring at my feet.
Nygma looked up at me and turned off the iron setting it at the end of the ironing board.
"Hello, Oswald, how have you been?" Nygma asked.
When Nygma spoke to me, I got the courage to look up at Nygma. He still looked mad at me. His usual smile that was normally very present was replaced with his lips pulled tightly together.
I guess now was as good of time as any to tell my side of the situation. Nygma had let me back in for this one chance and I better take it.
"I did not do a good job of anything last week. Most of all I hurt you. I couldn't explain myself well at the time because there were two many emotions running through me." I then paused remember the maniacal laughter in my head as Nymga left my mother's apartment.
I shook my head from side to side to brush aside the memory.
"As I was trying to say before you got in that cab, my mother, as you probably noticed, can be a bit eccentric at times. Her other quality that I know her better for is her possessiveness.
"It has only just been the two of us for as long as I can remember. This was fine as I was growing up, she'd shower me with praise. I was her pride and joy."
"Things changed a bit when I entered a datable age. If I came home just a little bit later from school than normal, she'd ask me what I was doing, and then accused me of wanting to run off with some Gotham hussy. That was her favorite line and still is as she brought it up again at the dinner table last week."
I paused wondering how many of these memories I wanted to relive but if it meant a second chance with Nygma, I'd do anything.
"Usually it was always my lovers that suggested wanting to meet my mother. I obliged their requests especially in the beginning, because I was naive to the great lengths my mother would go if she didn't think a potential lover was good enough for me by her standards."
"The first girl I brought home was Savannah, my high school sweetheart. Mother was kind to her in front of me, but I was told later by a friend of hers that my mother held Savannah by her long blonde hair and whispered to her that she was a dumb bitch for trying to date me and that I was seeing someone else on the side. Just to get out now when Savannah had the chance, otherwise, mother might have more punishment in store for her later. My mother also told her that telling me any of this would also end badly for Savannah, so she just grew distant and eventually faded away from me."
"I decided after Savannah to give up dating for a good long while. Until someone new walked into my life, and that someone was Kiana. She came in like a storm and I was so taken by her that I forgot about my crazy mother's ways. Kiana she half drowned in a tub until Kiana agreed to never see me again. She confided that incident to me when she broke up with me."
"From that point on, I just dated people, always women, casually and never let them get introduced to my mother. As none of these relationships were all that serious, and mostly physical, the women could care less about trivial things like meeting my mom."
I swallowed I couldn't gauge how Nygma had taken all of the information that I had given him so far, and here was where I really needed to wrap things up well.
"I know that all of these memories that I just shared with you don't excuse my actions a week ago. However, I hope that it explains them a bit better."
"I wasn't sure how my mother would have reacted to a few new pieces of information in my life...that I was gay and that you, Nygma, were my lover here to meet her. When I told her I was bringing a man over, she was the one who came up with business associate. I went along with it, because I was scared for how she would threaten you and what cruel words she'd tell you about me when I wasn't around. I only meant to hide what we were in order to protect you. I could never be ashamed of you."
I could feel tears burning tracks down my cheeks as I continued.
"I mean dammit, Neg...I've spent most if this past week as a functioning alcoholic, crying into my glass of whiskey at the thought of losing you."
I was now past the point of being able to form any words. I turned my back to him as I collapsed into sobs, kneeling by his kitchen sink, holding my head in my hands.
I ran through all that i had just said to him in my head hoping that he'd see the honesty that was in each and every syllable.
Nygma
I just stood where I was, silent, letting him explain anything and everything to me. I had brought him over so he could do just that since I was in a better mood.
Did I forgive his actions? No. I could see where he was coming from though, but it still stung like a hornet.
I sighed weakly removing my glasses for a moment rubbing my face. I placed them back on and adjusted them.
He always turns into this sniveling mess when you put your foot down Eddie, are you really going to stand for this? I thought you were the girl.
I just stared to him on his knees for a good few moments before approaching him. I got down to his level just looking to him softly having grabbed a tissue and wiped his eyes for him.
Once I got him to look at me I just stoked his cheek.
"What you did hurt Oswald. I can see why you wouldn't tell your mother right then, but the right thing to do would have simply told me no to meeting her. I would have been irritated by it, but at least I wouldn't have been hurt."
I spoke softly my fingers never leaving his face. I traced his jawline gently.
Oh my god you always crumble to him, he's got you whipped.
I smiled weakly just watching him.
"It doesn't excuse your actions. But I want to know when was it that you started making decisions for me? Do you actually think I would believe her if she told me you were seeing someone else? Or let her threaten me? I'm a bag full of cats kind of crazy sometimes Oswald. Crazy has met her match, I'm just a bit crazier."
Crazy doesn't begin to cover it.
Oswald
I just blinked at what Nygma had said to me. I still had not gotten my control back of my ability to speak. And the tears continued to fall.
Nygma's touch started to pacify my sobs a bit, but that was when the laughing came back in full force reverberating off of my skull.
I clutched my ears trying to shut it out. I began shaking uncontrollably. I could feel myself hyperventilating. I was doing all I could not to scream out loud.
Make it stop...Dear God, make it stop!
Nygma
What the fuck is wrong with him?
I studied Oswald's actions, they were similar to mine when I was dealing with the Riddler taking up space in my mind. As he was politely moving in without paying rent.
I grabbed him by the shoulders. "Oswald what is it?" I asked him quietly.
It seemed that Oswald couldn't hear anything over whatever he was trying to drown out in his own head. He started rocking back and forth, muttering incoherent gibberish.
I swallowed just watching him. I felt conflicted, I was still angry but that seemed selfish watching him have his episode.
I swatted his face a bit trying to break him out of it.
"Fuck Oswald what is the matter?" I asked sitting with him now.
Oswald
The laughter was dying down now, but I could feel something even worse coming.
Now, Penguin, you thought you could get rid of me! You are dead wrong! Speaking of 'dead,' I want your miserable face dead. Right now!
I couldn't hold back the screams now. I bellowed one out.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I then reverted back into my muttering that started out soft and got louder with each repetition.
"Get out of my head...Get out of my head I don't want you here. GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HEAD, RIDDLER!"
Nygma
I was watching Oswald closely and he grabbed my attention when he said Riddler.
Oh this is fucking weird, stated the voice inside my head.
Tell me about it.
"Why is he in your head Oswald?" I practically yelled at him.
I could barely handle the insane that is Riddler, I knew Oswald couldn't handle it.
Oswald
Finally, everything subsided, and I took a deep breath in and out.
I had heard his last question, and was now thinking of how to answer it. Since I was honest before I might as well continue that trend.
"When asked if I was alright after being discharged, I kept something from you. I have not idea what that fear serum did to me...But as a result of the ordeal I went through, I have occasional episodes, especially when I'm stressed. This has been the worst one since I was locked in that house of horrors."
"During these episodes, I mostly hear maniacal laughter, but on occasion /he/ speaks to me, the Riddler that I saw in that house. No matter how hard I try I cannot shut him out. I'm not sure why he still haunts me..."
"I didn't want to tell you this initially because I didn't want you to pull away and become distant out of guilt. I know that in that house it was not Riddler himself that I feared. It was the fact that everyone, I ever cared about was gone and I was very alone for the first time in my life. It was cold and dark. I don't want to ever feel that way again."
"That is why I am going to talk to my mother about us for real this time, ready to take any abuse that will come our way. I want this to work between us, Neg. If you'll let me, I mean..."
Nygma
I sighed weakly listening to him talk. Yes I felt partially at fault, but the blame rested Dr. Crane. I was still interested in finding this individual and his fear serum. I began to wonder if I could replicate it in a way to create something to counteract it's lasting effects on people.
I looked back to him at his last statement.
"I don't hate you love." I whispered. "You need to stop hiding things from me, because look what it does."
"I love you more than my life itself, Edward Nygma." Oswald said softly to me reaching up to touch my face."I promise not to keep anything from you ever again."
He paused and smiled up at me, "On a related note, did you solve the riddle I left you?"
"Thank you," I whispered to him at his promise.
I chuckled gently at his question and adjusted my glasses again.
"Smiles I do believe," I answered.
I looked to him gently, our roles were reversing and that frightened me. I felt like I was losing the Oswald I had first met, the snarky and cold man.
I felt like I was becoming that man. I sighed faintly at the thought.
Oswald
"Yes, that is right." I smiled at him.
I was beginning to feel the affects of this past week. Now at peace, I could feel my consciousness, but it would be callus of me to ask to stay the night here with Nygma. I needed to keep enough of my energy to make it into my apartment.
"I am sorry to be leaving so soon, Neg,"I said as I began to stand up and put myself back together."But this past week of depression self-medicated with whiskey has really taken a toll on me. I should head out before I end up passing out here from exhaustion. After what I have put you through, the last thing I'd want to do would be to imposed on your hospitality."
I got up and headed for the door. I could feel that I was bit unsteady on my feet, but I had always had a funny walk, so I doubted Nygma would notice.
I grabbed the door and opened it,"I'll see you later, Nygma my dear." I waved to him and walked out the door.
I hailed a cab and it dropped my off at my apartment when I made it as far as my sofa before passing out.
Nygma
I watched after him and sighed internally remaining in the seated position on the floor for a long few minutes before going back to ironing my shirts.
Oswald was hurting, from my Riddler, and that bothered me. I was angry at Crane for putting him through the ordeal and I figured I would set my sights on him next.
I needed that fear serum, I needed to study it, to find a cure.
Oh please tell me we get to kill him!
I grunted at the voice. I might not be crazy, but he sure as hell was batshit crazy.
I wondered if I could use myself as bait to lure this man out. I had many fears, he probably would be delighted to get his hands on me.
Until he meets me of course, mused the voice again.
Well then there's that.
I had linked Crane's M.O to a string of other victims that were found around Gotham before and after Oswald was taken. I knew he was a number one priority on GCPD's list. I wondered if Detective Gordon would be up to helping me again. Or should I go alone?
Well if it were me, I'd be handling things in a slightly different manner.
Ah yes. Alone would be best.