Disclaimer: I do not own Heroes of Olympus, or any of the associated characters. No profit is being made.

Summary: Hera was well-known for her intolerance of her husband's infidelities, but taking her ire out on the unfortunate lover and/or bastard had never worked. A change of tactics was in order.

SWEET REVENGE

As the Goddess of Marriage, Infidelity annoyed Hera like nothing else.

Unfortunately, her faithless, fickle, lying husband was the King of the Gods, with a tendency to smite first and think later, so Hera had often found herself reduced to venting her ire the unfortunate lover de jour and resulting offspring.

Well, at least when it was a human, nymph or divine lover, rather than an animal de jour, in which case there was usually a convenient demigod to do the dirty work for the resulting monstrous offspring.

Gods were immortal, any by that definition, very slow to change, if they changed at all. Hera was no different, but she could realise when a change of tactics was in order, especially since she was still on thin ice over her actions during the war with Gaia.

And unlike Apollo, she had neither a cabin of demigod children (plus their friends) or any devout followers to stand up for her, should she push Zeus too far. Of course, the lightning-addled wretch had taken that caution as blanket permission to fool around like there was no tomorrow, which was the source of Hera's current bad mood.

Equally thanks to her precarious position, going after the lover and potential offspring with her usual viciousness wouldn't go down well, with either demigods (who had been rather more assertive and unified of late) or Olympians.

Then again, just because she couldn't go after Zeus directly didn't mean she couldn't adopt a more subtle method, as Amphitrite did.

Amphitrite didn't confront Poseidon, or his bastard offspring, but was icily polite and visibly withdrawn, and The Lord of the Sea rarely took more than a week before he was bending over backwards to try and earn his wife's forgiveness.

The only exception had been Sally Jackson, almost eighteen years ago. That was one of the rare occasions when Amphitrite had taken Hera up on her standing invitation to visit for tea and commiserations. Eris had joined them, for once, and related a story about Ares...

Hera felt a smile begin to stretch across her features.

For once, Ares had gone for a lady with brains, rather than just good looks. Unfortunately, he had also gone for her sister only a week later, both of them ending up pregnant.

In a decision that Hera applauded, the two women had not blamed each other when they turned to their sister for support and found out that the impending cousins would also be half-siblings. Instead, they joined ranks against Hera's son, furious over his cheating.

No woman likes being cheated on, or being the "Other Woman" in an affair, after all. Besides, the look on the Son of Hera's face when he slunk back after going to visit his lover and finding both of them goading each other to new heights of "why war gods are stupid jerks", was priceless! Not to mention, the incident was enough to make Ares actually support Hera's stance of "cheating is bad" for nearly a month.

It ended when he realised that "cheating is bad" would also extend to his relationship with Aphrodite, but the support was nice while it lasted.

Hera could take a leaf out of that book easily enough.

Zeus's most recent lover, at least, had clearly done her research, because she turned a very satisfying shade of pale green when she opened the door and saw Hera waiting on her doorstep.

She made to slam it in Hera's face, but the Queen of the Gods stuck her foot in the way. "Calm down, I'm not here to make trouble for you or your child."

Because if there wasn't a child yet, there would be soon. Even Zeus's one-night-stands wound up pregnant, and it was astounding that no-one had figured out that the Nymph that Dionysus was being punished over had been declared off-limits because she was a lesser Royal Bastard.

Zeus wasn't quite so stupid as to advertise who he was planning to try and sleep with next, especially within Hera's hearing.

The latest Hussy didn't look reassured, but opened the door again. "Er, would you like to come in?"

Hera maintained her best 'Queen of Heaven' demeanour as she swept inside and sat on the tacky couch. "I thought you might like some advice."

The Hussy sat down on an armchair, still satisfyingly apprehensive. "What kind of advice?"

Hera waved a hand. "No-one knows better than me that my husband doesn't know the meaning of the word 'faithful', or possibly even how to spell it. I've learned to accept that. He isn't very good at people disagreeing with him, either, and that is why I visited."

The Hussy sighed. "In my defense, I wasn't looking for anything more complicated than a one-night-stand, and Zeus is pretty fantastic in bed, but he's like a bad habit I can't shake."

Hera knew that all too well. She hadn't left Zeus in the dust, even after millennia of infidelity that would have made most women have their bags packed after the first decade. Hera stayed, because there was a part of her that would always love Zeus, and a part of Zeus that would always love her (and mostly because there were no other candidates for Queen of Heaven that wouldn't do a far worse job than her), because when the affair was over Zeus always returned to her, and because she needed to believe that family and sacred vows would be enough.

Instead of saying any of this, Hera only nodded. "I know what you mean. His last lover went mad because she couldn't accept that he would never be able to stay and make her as immortal as him. Her children, my step-children, suffered for it, and I don't want to see that happen again."

Hera had demanded Jason's life because Zeus would never believe that she had Thalia's best interest in mind if she tried to separate the girl from her mother. But Thalia was a child herself, only seven, when Jason was born, far too young to take on the role of mother due to Beryl's incompetence. Better that Jason go to Lupa and New Rome, and set Thalia on the road to escaping that toxic environment, than leave them under the care of a bitter woman who couldn't see the blessings she had.

At least the Hussy was made of better stock, since she looked indignant. "I'm sorry for that. But I don't have any illusions like that, and my doctor told me that I'm unlikely to conceive and if I wanted kids, my best option is surrogacy."

It was hard not to roll her eyes. "Trust me on this, Zeus can get anything pregnant. Literally. You will have a child, and that is where things get tricky."

A series of emotions flickered across the Hussy's face, too fast for Hera to make out. She focused on the last word. "Tricky?"

This time Hera did roll her eyes. "I hope you're in a position where you won't have to rely on child support cheques. And don't count on him showing up to massage your ankles, help around the house or duck around the corner for whatever you're craving. He might send a fancy weapon for a birthday present, but he won't babysit, or show up for parent-teacher meetings, or dispel rumours when neighbours start whispering about the lack of a father for your child. And my husband will expect the child to go to Camp as soon as possible, but I suppose that depends on how much you actually want children."

The Hussy had gone pale, clearly not having considered some of those things. "Camp?"

So Zeus hadn't mention that yet. "Camp Half-Blood, where heroes are trained to survive and fight the monsters that will hunt them all of their lives. My husband still has a rivalry with his brothers, and the sons of Poseidon and Hades have achieved many great deeds and much glory, especially among other demigods. Zeus will want to prove himself superior through his own child."

That she knew for sure. Hera had been the one stuck listening to Zeus complain when Thalia turned down the 'opportunity' to be the child of the Great Prophecy. Hera privately thought that Perseus was the best of the possible choices for that prophecy, not that she would ever admit it, but try telling Zeus that.

The Hussy's face darkened. Hera felt a small surge of approval. The Hussy leaned forward. "I know you have no reason to like me, and I never expected to be a mother, but you are the goddess of family. Will you help me protect mine?"

The look on her husband's face, when he walked in and saw them sipping tea and comparing notes, having moved from planning to an in-depth critique of Zeus's talent between the sheets, was one that she would treasure for a very long time.

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A/N: This was spawned from a conversation between me and some friends after watching 'The Other Woman', talking about the role of women in Greek mythology and wouldn't it be hilarious if they all formed a "Scorned Women Club"?

I don't think Hera would actually go for that, but the idea of Zeus walking in on his wife and current lover sitting and having tea together was too good to resist.