As The World Keeps Turning

Chapter 7

Karma's POV

I wake up the next morning in the arms of Amy. For a moment, my heart skips a beat and then I remember what actually happened yesterday. I kissed Amy. I kissed HER. The thought sends my head reeling and I still can't believe that I actually did that, and I hoped that I hadn't made a mistake. I let the thought stir in my head, and I realize that this was no mistake at all. I haven't felt more loved in my life than being in Amy's arms now. This is what I want, I know that for certain now, but that doesn't stop me from feeling guilty.

Amy has a girlfriend, and what I just did is going to ruin everything. There really won't be a winner here, it's either I get her and Reagan gets hurt, or Reagan gets her and I'm left even more sad and confused than before I knew I really did have feelings for Amy. I hear Amy's phone vibrate from the bedside table, and I can't help but think that it's Reagan probably wondering why Amy hasn't been around to talk. I sigh and let myself enjoy the feeling of Amy's body against mine for the moment.

All of this is so new to me; these feelings are never something that ice had to deal with before. I turn over and gaze at Amy's beautiful face, still wrapped in her grasp. I can see the silhouette of a faint frown etched on her face, and I wonder if she's thinking about how she made a mistake by doing this with me last night. I try to scoot out of her arms, but as soon as I do, her eyes flutter open and she blinks confusedly at the dim room around her.

She looks at me and I can see a million thoughts run through her mind. Does she think that she might have taken advantage of me? What is she thinking? I can't stand to see that face of hers so torn in thought about something I should be taking responsibility for.

"Good morning Amy." I smile at her.

"Oh good morning." She replies in a raspy voice that's so cute it makes my heart flutter. I've heard this voice many times but it's the first time I've felt like this.

"How'd you sleep?" I ask innocently.

"Pretty great actually... I don't think you reall know how long I've wanted to have a sleepover like that one." She laughs and lifts her arms to sweep her blonde hair into a ponytail.

"How long?

"Years Karma." She shakes her head.

"Better late than never, right?" I wink at her with a smile.

The corners of her lips lift slightly to form a smile. "Yeah I guess you're right Karms."

I notice that she's a little quiet this morning. Is she regretting what happened? Does she hate me for doing it? I don't know. I can tell that concern is looking into the features of my face when I turn to face her. "Amy what's wrong?"

She looks at me with big, sad eyes. Her bottom lip quivers ever so slightly, and I know that I messed up big time. "I want to be with you Karma. But I'm scared. I'm scared you'll change your mind. And I'm really scared and sad for doing this to Reagan... I feel like the worst person in the world..." Her response is quiet, almost under her breath for me to strain to hear it.

"You're not the worst, I am. I'm the one that did this. Maybe I just shouldn't have..."

"No! You should have. I'm glad that you did. But do you actually want to stick to it? I'm just so afraid that if I take the jump, you might take a step back at the last second..." She gazes down at her fingers playing with her shirt sleeve trying to keep occupied.

"I'm not going back on this. I've made my decision. I should've done that a long time ago, and that's the only mistake I'm ever going to have made with you."

"I have to talk to Reagan." She sighs. "But she's just so important to me. I don't want to lose her... And she just told me that she loves me... I don't think I can hurt her in this way Karms..."

I take her hand in mine. "There really is no rush Amy. And if you want to be with her, please just be with her. I kinda barged into such an important part in your life and pushed her aside, and I'm sorry for that. I just want you to be happy, that's what I've always wanted you know."

Amy looks up at me with a sincere smile. "Regardless of who I'm going to be with, I need to tell her what happened with us."

I get up off of the bed and kiss the top of her head. "Do you mind if I take a shower? I kinda smell." I laugh.

"Sure go ahead." She smiles at me and giggles a bit.

Later on, after we're both showered and dressed, I stand with Amy by the front door, about to leave her to go talk to Reagan. I take one of her hands in mine and smile gently at her. "Call me later if you want, ok?"

She nods at me and pulls me in for a hug goodbye. "I'll talk to you later."

Before I know it, I'm on my way and I hear the front door close quietly behind me.

Amy's POV

My heartbeat sounds like nothing short of 50 horses running full speed in a race. My palms are sweating as I make my way up the walk to Reagan's front door and hesitantly ring the doorbell. When she pulls the door open, her face lights up in excited surprise, sending a shooting pain through my chest when I think about what I've done to her. Her face falls when she lays her eyes on mine though.

"Amy are you ok? What happened?" She asks me hurriedly.

"I'm... I'm fine. But I need to talk to you."

I can see her eyes immediately hood over, as if she already knows what I'm going to say. She quickly nods and leads me to the couch where I sit and she sits at the opposite end with her arms crossed.

I can feel tears unwillingly start to roll down my cheeks. "Last night, Karma told me that has feelings for me..."

She doesn't move a muscle and doesn't say a single word.

"She came over to apologize for walking out and flipping out on me, and she just started telling me all of these things that I've wanted to hear for so long... Then you came around and it didn't matter to me if I heard it or not. But when I did hear it... I don't know... It's really like I WAS waiting for it." I slowly exhale and don't make eye contact with herbefore I continue. "I meant it when I said I loved you, but I don't really know if we mean it to the same degree. I actually feel more than terrible for doing this, especially after we just talked about this yesterday, it's so much in a short period of time."

Her eyes drop and I've never seen her look so sad.

"Reagan, I don't want to lose you. You're one of the best people I've ever known. But right now, I'm so confused about what I want and who I want to be with that I just don't know... All I know is that I need to figure things out. I want the best for you, and I really don't think it's me at all."

She finally lifts her head to look at me. "Amy. It's so obvious that Karma is in love with you, I even said so at the restaurant. I think you were both just so confused." She shakes her head sadly. "I'd hate to be the one to stop you from getting what you want or need, and I don't think you need me. I know that you care for me, and I'm grateful for that."

By now, I'm fully crying. These tears are for her, for the pain that I caused that I know she's hiding.

"So I'm guessing you slept with her then."

It comes across as a statement and not a question. "No Ragean. It's not like that."

Her eyes soften ever so slightly. "But you did kiss her."

I nod quickly.

She chews on her lip while thinking. "I kinda knew this was going to happen. All of my friends even said so, but I thought it would be different. I wish for once I wasn't wrong..."

"I'm just so sorry Reagan..."

"Amy, just please stop. I'm sorry for pushing you too far too soon. I know it was too soon for the "l word" and it's my fault."

"It's not your fault."

She sighs. "I really want you to be happy Shrimps...but I'm not ready to be kicked out of your life..." Now she's crying. Huge tears rolling silently down her cheeks. The heartbreak I see in her eyes is tearing mine apart.

"Reagan I don't want you out of my life, I need you in if. You're a part of me and who I am now, whether you really like it or not."

She takes my hands in hers. "Do you really love me?" She asks.

"Yes." I respond quietly.

"Do you love her?"

I nod again.

"But in a different way, right."

I nod yet again.

"I want you to be with whoever your heart chooses. I can't find it in my heart to be mad at you, and I've been trying... But I want us to work, whether we're together or just friends." She gives me a small smile, and I match hers with my own. "I need to do some thinking though, and so do you."

I nod and stand up off of the couch and she walks me to the door. "I'll call you ok?" I ask.

She nods, "Okay. Give me a little time though." She moves to kiss me on the cheek goodbye and I walk down the front steps to her house as she closes the door.

What I don't know though, is that as soon as the door latches shut, she crumbles into a heap on the floor being washed away by her own hot tears.

*Here's the deal. I could end it in a chapter or two to make it simple, but I decided against it. I'm gonna make this with a little more and more Karmy scenes instead, I'm having so much fun writing this that I don't want to stop just yet. Any objections? Speak now or forever hold your peace! Thank you so much for your comments! It makes my day reading them. I love talking to you guys. Feel free to leave some more!*