Finally done! After so much pressure. I just had two versions written and this one felt most right in the end.

Beta-ed by MariahajilE - thanks

I do hope you enjoy :-)

Chapter 10

He did anything he could after school to avoid being at home. Meeting Mac was a lifesaver. Mac owned a garage and repair shop in the city. He got a job of sorts with him. It wasn't a real job because Mac didn't pay him, but Edward loved every second. He loved working with his hands, and he loved feeling needed and important. He loved what they were building, what they built. A Harley, the most amazing creation he's ever seen. Mac had told him it wouldn't be perfect until he put work into it: 'work, blood, sweat and money.'

He worked on that bike for years with Mac. Working with Mac got him through the hard teenage years. It gave his hands something to do. When he got into fights at school, it was 'use your hands to make an impact, not impact on people's faces.' Mac didn't hear the reasoning; he didn't care. He just told Edward like it was. Edward respected him, looked up to him.

Mac died before it was finished, before Edward finished college. Once he finished the bike ‒ alone ‒ Mac's wife gave him what little money Mac had and said, "Mac talked about you all the time, the lost boy at the shop." She then smiled and cupped his cheek. He didn't say a word back, but the warmth of her palm on his cheek was tender, and it's still burned into his skin. Mac was a good man.

The open road is home. It always has been. He finished school and then left. It felt right to leave, so he left and never looked back. There was nothing keeping him in New York; no friends, no family. He has always kept to himself. Throughout college and high school, he didn't say anything to anyone. There was no point in making friends; he had nothing but his bike.

The sounds of his bike and the wind blowing past his ears are all the conversation he thought he needed. Until now. A week away, a week on the road. He doesn't know what he's doing anymore. He used to know. It was just in him. He's so unsure at this time.

Pulling on\to a curb, he sits on his bike and pulls his helmet off. The sky is dark, and the stars are bright. He can hear the music coming from inside the bar.

"Hey, stranger."

Edward looks over at the woman. Very attractive but very fake. He frowns.

"Let me turn that frown upside down," she purrs, stroking his shoulder and down his arm.

"You can try," he says.

"But last time," Bella's eyes widen, "everything was fine. I'm 12 weeks. Three months." This is when everything is meant to be fine.

"Bella, these things happen. Sometimes there's no reason."

She sags against the bed, which is now warm from her body. "I‒ I don't understand." She looks up at the ceiling. "I heard the heart beat last time."

"I'm so sorry, Bella."

"What happens now?" She just shuts her eyes as she hears the machine go off.

Dr. Meadow hates this part, telling mothers about the removal of their dead baby. Bella looks so completely broken on the bed. She watches her pull her shirt down over her slightly protruding belly. "I'm so sorry."

"What's next?" Bella sucks in a breath, ready to find out, ready to push on outwardly. Inwardly, her heart is breaking; there are cracks on top of cracks now. Her hand runs over her face.

"We wait until you miscarry."

Her eyes widen, and the lump in her throat grows tighter. She feels like she can't breathe. "Okay." It comes out as a squeak.

"If you don't, we will do a D&C."

"Right. Of course."

"I'll give you a moment."

Bella lies on the bed for God only knows how long. She covers her face with her palms and cries into them.

Bella reads the depositions over and over. The words float around her head. She hasn't gotten any further in this case. Her head's not in it. Neither is her heart.

"Hey," Angela says as she knocks.

"Hi." Bella forces a smile.

"Bella, go home."

"I have work," she insists. She has a daily plan. She needs to follow through so she doesn't lose it.

Bella sits on the floor of the spare room; the room that's for her baby, the room that was Edward's for the short time he was with her. She folds the new baby things she stupidly bought. She has enough clothing to clothe a baby for six months. Shaking the tears from her eyes, she gently places them in the suitcase and pushes it to the back of the closet. That place seems to be the permanent home for the baby items.

Her legs are curled underneath her bottom. She drops her head and cries into her hands for what feels like the millionth time. Bella felt that Edward was with her when she was carrying his baby. Now she feels more alone than ever.

"Bella," Sue says gently. "It gets easier." When she heard Bella was pregnant ‒ is pregnant ‒ and that her baby doesn't have a heartbeat, she was shocked. She wasn't that shocked, because she knew Bella was trying for a baby, but that she was pregnant with Edward's child. She'd never met him.

"I don't know about that," Bella answers, sitting under the lights in her garden. She picked up gardening about three days ago. It looks so pretty out here, with raised flowerbeds littering her lawn. Sue came down and helped her get it started. Her father grunted about Edward no longer being in the picture but said nothing more.

"I am a bit shocked about your… plan."

"Yeah, well, it doesn't matter anymore." She touches her stomach. She hasn't miscarried, and it's been a week now.

"Charlie liked him."

"He probably likes him more now that he's gone." Bella laughs a bit.

"How are you?"

"Fine," Bella answers, staring ahead.

"Really, Bella, how are you?" Sue pushes.

"Tired," she admits. "Sad, lonely ‒ lonelier than I knew I could be"

Sue smiles a bit and touches her hand. "It will be all right you know."

"I don't know about that. He isn't coming back. He… His nature isn't to stick around," she comments lightly. Bella looks around the yard while Charlie putters inside. "I felt different with him."

Sue smiles. "From what I gather ‒ from what Charlie said ‒ you were different."

"I guess it doesn't matter anymore. I don't have anything." She touches her stomach. "It was a long shot anyway. A completely wrong, long shot." She knew from the start that she shouldn't deceive him ‒ anyone ‒ specially with something so huge, a child. It didn't work out in the end, and most likely, that was fate giving her a swift kick in the ass.

Sue gives her a tiny smile. "You didn't deserve to lose your baby."

"Thank you." Bella sighs, shutting her eyes and leaning her head back.

"I think we're going to have to go with the D&C, Bella."

"Okay." She's resigned. They make her appointment for the next Friday. It gives her the weekend to recover, to get herself together.

He looks at the calendar on the wall of the diner and knows he's been gone for almost three months. "Fuck," he curses. Edward gets up and throws money down before heading out.

Bella leaves the hospital in Alice's car. Rose wanted to come, but she insisted she was fine and could handle it herself. After Alice drops her off, she insists she's fine and doesn't need anyone to stay with her.

"Bella, you won't even know I'm here." Alice helps her from the car.

"I just want to sleep, Alice. I promise to call if there's any change."

"Okay. Fine." Alice wants to fight with her but thinks better of it.

Bella sighs, pulling herself together enough to force a smile, and she shuts the door after Alice leaves. Holding back the tears, Bella turns and heads up to her room.

Edward's bike races down the street. He's been driving for miles and miles. The familiarity of the streets and buildings come into view. Suddenly, he feels like he should, like everything fits; he fits, tattoos and all.

Coming to a stop, he sits on his bike in front of the house, sees her car in the driveway, and smiles a bit, knowing she's close by. He didn't realize how much he missed her, missed being here. It feels like home to him. She feels like home. He gets off of his bike and heads around to the back door. Smiling, he turns the knob and goes in.

Bella lies still on her bed. Her eyes are shut, and she's crying for everything missing in her life. She knows it's pathetic, because there are people far worse off than her. She has a family, a home, a job, but she's sad. She feels so sad.

"Bella?"

She sits up in bed and looks at her shut bedroom door.

"Bella?"

Moving slowly, she places her feet on the floor.

"Hello?" He opens her bedroom door. His face softens when his eyes land on her, and he stares. She looks ill, pale, thin.

"Edward? What‒"

"I had to come back." And it's dumb. He sounds dumb, but there isn't any other explanation. Moving quickly, he sinks to the floor at her legs. He shifts himself between them, his hands on her bare thighs. "Are you all right?" Edward reaches up and cups her cheek, wiping away the tears on her face. "I'm sorry."

Her quivering lip gets calmed between her teeth. She nods her head.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers, dropping his hand and wrapping his arms around her tiny waist. His head rests on her breasts.

Bella wraps her arms around his head. "I have so much to tell you," she whispers. Her chest still feels tight.

"I have to tell you… I love you. I love you."

Bella runs her fingers through his hair.