Nick sat at his desk knowing Fin and Carisi were trying too hard not to look at him or Amanda or ask what had happened.
He was pissed off for what he allowed to happen. He and Amanda knew better than to let things go too far at work. What the hell was I thinking? We know better…Shit!...I really need to see Liv but I can't leave Amanda to go after Liv, Amanda would hate me. What am I going to do? He glanced over at Amanda she wore a serious look; Nick couldn't get a good read on her.
Amanda stood in front of the stove, attempting to make dinner for her and Nick. Nick stood there leaning against her counter with a beer in his hand, his third, in the 20 minutes he had been there. She was glad that he was with her and not somewhere else…but the silence was awkward; neither of them had said much to each other all day. She knew his mind was on Olivia and all that entailed whatever it was that he had with her. I hate feeling confused. He's doing nothing to settle my confusion, I need to know where I stand with him, who is more important me or her? I should just come right out and ask him. Her thoughts were interrupted, what did he say?
"What was that?" She asked.
Nick made no attempt to repeat himself. She glanced back at him and he had a stressed brow. Amanda turned back to the stove and lost herself in her own thoughts.
Nick snapped himself out of his thoughts and looked at the woman in front of him. She was the perfect height for him, tall enough to not be called short but short enough where she had to slightly tippy toe to reach his lips. Her figure was gorgeous, cute little feet with polished toes, muscular legs and thighs that helped her run endless miles. Round, curved hips that tasted heavenly and made him groan with desire. Her torso was short but slim and athletic, her breasts were plump but not huge or even big, but they were a good sized handful and made him think wicked things, her neck, back and shoulders were smooth and delicate. Her face was beautiful with proportionate features, cute little nose, tasty full lips, high cheek bones and her eyes an illuminate blue, her hair was soft and full, he took pleasure in burying his face in her hair and inhaling her scent. He loved to constantly caress her hands and arms, they were soft and smooth. Amanda's jealousy drove him crazy but he accepted it, it wasn't "over the top and make a scene" type jealousy. It was just enough to let him know that she wanted him and wanted no one else within reaching distance of him. He understood her jealousy because he felt that same way, if he could, he would have her inside a bubble labeled "Nick". She had a lot happen to her in her life but he admired how she turned that pain into strength, she had a good heart with good intentions. She was tough and independent but Nick knew her enough to know that while she aimed to defend the defenseless, once she took her badge off, she needed to be cared for and coddled, and she needed to feel safe. She needed the feelings that only a man could give her, feelings that Nick intended to provide her with. Does she feel safe and secure right now? Am I doing my part?
Amanda felt his hands on her hips; he squeezed her hips gently before he nuzzled his face in her hair and neck. She felt him inhale her. That small affectionate action from him caused her to smile and released the butterflies in her belly. Amanda leaned into his face; he stepped closer to her so she could feel his body against hers. Nick held her until the food was done.
Nick lay in bed on his side; Amanda was on her back blanketed with Nick's arm and leg across her body. He wanted, very badly, to make love to her but after what they had been through today and the last couple weeks, he felt she needed some intimacy from him. He kissed her temple and figured it was now or never to say what he had to say.
"Amanda, I need to know that you and I are okay." He whispered to her.
"Yes, we're okay. I'm sorry for being a baby. I shouldn't have acted immaturely and dramatic about situations you and I have no control over."
"I'm sorry, too. I don't want you to think that Olivia means more to me than you do. I really care about you; I can't stand when you're upset with me. I'm an idiot that doesn't deserve you but I need you." Nick searched Amanda's eyes with his pleading brown eyes. He needed to see that she understood what he was saying and the desperation he was feeling at the moment.
"I'm sorry for overreacting when you had Zara last minute. I know you have no control over what Maria does, I took it out on you, and I shouldn't have…I also realize that you and Olivia have your own type of friendship outside of work and that your families blend together. I admit I was jealous she had this type of relationship with you but after some serious thought, I just want to be a part of it, too." She searched Nick's eyes for approval.
"I want you to be a part of it, too. I know what Liv and I have is unconventional and maybe a little suspicious but I want you to know, to believe, that there is nothing going on between us. I love her like a sister; she's one of my best friends. I know I hurt her by not telling her about us…I planned on telling her but I couldn't find the right time. I also wanted your permission before I told her but you weren't speaking to me."
"I believe you but it is something I'll have to get comfortable with. I'm not used to stuff like that."
"Now about what happened at work…it was amazing, I was really enjoying it. But we both acted reckless, that's our workplace… We can't let it happen again." He said with a serious tone.
"I shouldn't have come onto you like that, I acted on impulse, I don't know what I was thinking…it won't happen again…can you forgive me?" she looked at him through her bangs.
"It was both our faults. We will get passed this together." He kissed her lips. "Amanda, I have to talk to Olivia. She's my partner and I just broke the trust we had, I have to try to make this right…"
"Nick, she's too pissed right now. She won't listen to you."
"Amanda, please try to understand." He asked. "What if it was the other way around? What if it had been Fin that walked in?"
"I understand, baby…when are you going to talk to her?" She felt some pangs of jealousy in her gut but she knew now wasn't a time for jealousy. She shouldn't even been feeling jealous.
"Tomorrow, I guess. Not at work but maybe when I pick up Noah."
"What do you have planned?" Amanda knew on Wednesday afternoons Nick left work early and picked up Noah from his nanny or from Nick's mother. Wednesdays he took Noah out, just the two of them or three when Gil was able to hang out; it gave Liv the opportunity to nap or shop or whatever she wanted to do.
"Nothing yet…" he sighed.
"Hey…" Amanda giggled when she felt Nick's hand creeping up her shirt.
"What?" he gave her a confused look through his smile. He slid his hand down to her panties, "You look the most beautiful when you're like this."
"Shut up! I'm trashed right now." She giggled until Nick kissed her lips.
"Yes, I know. I find it very sexy…" his eyes scanned her tousled hair, make-up free face, her plain t-shirt, and pink panties. "Amanda…tomorrow I'm going to tell Liv I love you."
Amanda sighed with surprise, "Nick…wait, what?"
"I love you, Amanda." He smiled at her. "I wanted to tell you before I told Liv."
Amanda rolled over and straddled Nick, she locked him in a kiss full of passion, desire, and need. She let him pull her panties off, she lifted her hips and slowly lowered herself onto him as she adjusted to his hard dick.
"Nick, I love you and I miss you every moment we are apart."
Nick pulled her down to meet his lips and attacked her mouth with his tongue, he flipped her over on her belly, stretched her right leg up high enough for him to enter her from behind. He kissed her back softly as he thrust into her. For the first time, they made slow and sensual love; Nick wanted to pleasure her beyond an orgasm. He wanted to share intimacy with her, show her his love for her.
This part of the fic drew on longer than I intended. Sorry but I hope you all like it. Next I will work on Olivia confronting Nick and more ROLLARO!