The Starving Art

Chapter Five

117.

When the nurse at the hospital weighed him, the scale revealed the number 117. He was getting closer. Just a few more pounds until Sam would be at his goal weight. He smiled to himself.

I can't wait to tell Ruby.

"So he's anorexic?" Dean asked the doctor when they had a sit-down. The woman had been eyeing them in a sympathetic way. John barely noticed, but Dean knew that it was because something was deeply wrong with his little brother.

"That's the diagnosis, yes," the woman said. "Samuel is very underweight and malnourished, and if things continue the way they are, I believe it's just going to get worse." Dean cast a look at John.

"Well, how do we stop it?" John asked.

"The only way to stop it is to make him eat," the woman – Dean finally read that her name was doctor Purelli – said. "His malnourished brain isn't functioning properly and the only way to fight the disease is to get him to eat."

"But we can't make him eat, so how do we make him?" Dean asked.

"We offer a residential program here that's one-thousand dollars a day and we recommend a three month stay," doctor Purelli answered.

"That's over nine-thousand dollars, we can't afford that," John said.

"I'll work as many shifts as I can at the garage and pay for it myself," Dean said.

"Dean, you work for me, I can't afford to pay you that much," John argued.

"Then I'll get a second job!" Dean shouted. "I'll do whatever the fuck I can to make sure that kid in the other room lives!"

"Calm down," doctor Purelli said. "You've got a family to take care of, and we don't need to immediately put him in residential treatment. I say we have outpatient therapy and schedule a dietitian twice a week."

"You think that'll help?" Dean asked.

"If he puts in the effort," the woman answered. "Someone will have to monitor Samuel twenty-four seven. People with eating disorders are prone to self-harming in other ways."

"I'll look after him," Dean said. "I'll do whatever I can to keep him safe."

After scheduling the outpatient therapy appointment, Dean and John returned to the waiting room where Sam was slumped in a chair. Dean's green eyes looked over the teen.

So thin, Dean thought to himself. He wondered if only he had paid attention, maybe he would have seen the signed. But he didn't. He would have to live with that.

"It's time to go home, Sammy," Dean said gently so as not to startle the brunette with their presence. Dull hazel eyes looked up into Dean's emerald ones. "Come on."

Upon returning home, Dean grabbed a bag and immediately started to pack some of Sam's clothes. Sam was left with John while Dean did this.

"What are you doing, Dean?" John asked when he noticed his eldest son's actions.

"I'm packing Sam's shit," Dean answered. "I can keep a better eye on him at my place. He's got everything he needs at my place except for clothes and a toothbrush."

"You're not taking my son," John said angrily.

"I know how to take care of him, dad. You don't."

"I know how to take care of my own kid!"

"You weren't doing it while he was starving himself!" Dean shouted. "I know how to take care of this; I've dealt with it before."

"What the fuck do you mean you dealt with this before?" John asked.

"I don't need to explain myself to you," Dean said. "If you don't let me take Sam, I will get a damn court order. He needs someone who will actually watch him."

"You let him starve too," John argued.

"I was at work or with you, and you wouldn't listen to me whenever I tried to talk to you about Sam's condition." Dean finished packing the bag and grabbed Sam's weak hand. "We're just next door; you can still see him whenever you want."

John didn't argue when Dean took Sam to his house. John didn't say a word after hearing what his son said. Dean was right; he had let his own son starve and had thought it was a good thing. He had even told the kid he was good for doing it by promoting it as taking physical fitness seriously!

He decided from that moment on that he would work on being a better parent to both of his kids.

Dean brought Sam to his house, which was perfect, because while there was only one bedroom, there was a formal dining room where Dean could put Sam for sleeping. That way he could always keep an eye on him.

"Dad's not gonna let you keep me here," Sam said quietly. His throat was raspy. Dean shrugged.

"I don't really give a shit what dad thinks; you're staying here with me." The eldest brother began walking around the house and picking up anything that could be potentially harming. Dean was pleased to discover the knife drawer already had locks on it. He would have to talk to his landlord about that.

"Where am I gonna sleep?" Sam asked. He knew Dean's house just as well as he knew his own, and knew there was only one bedroom.

"The formal dining room has a pullout bed in there. I can go back to dad's house and get your bed before tonight," Dean answered. "Sammy, I want you to know that you're not alone in this. I know it's hard."

"How would you know anything?" Sam snapped before he realized his computer was still back in his bedroom. He would need to tell Ruby everything! "I want my computer."

"You can use my computer," Dean said.

"You have a computer?" Sam asked.

Dean nodded. "I got one after I moved out. It's just as good as yours."

Sam was quick after that. He searched out the computer that was located in Dean's bedroom – he knew his brother wouldn't mind him being in there – and logged onto his chat account, pleased to find Ruby online.

SaMiAm: CW 117.

RedGem: Awesome!

Sam heard Dean walk up from behind him and immediately turned around. "What are you doing?" the younger of the two asked immediately.

"The doctor told me to monitor you, so I'm monitoring," Dean explained. "You mind?"

"A little bit; this is personal," Sam said.

"Well, tough," Dean said. He sat on his bed beside the computer and grabbed a magazine that Sam vaguely recognized as having something to do with cars.

Figuring that Dean was just reading his magazine anyway, Sam turned back to the computer and began to type again.

SaMiAm: Just a few more pounds and I'll be at my GW.

"Does 'GW' stand for goal weight?" Dean asked. Sam turned back to glare at his brother.

"It's none of your business."

"I think it is my business," Dean said.

"And why would you think that?" Sam asked, feeling slightly offended.

"Because you're my little brother, and if you kill yourself, I would blame myself for the rest of my life."

"I'm not gonna kill myself!" Sam shouted.

"Hate to break it to you, kid, but this is the slow version of killing yourself," Dean said. "I know what's going on with you. I know why your nails are blue, I know that you're seriously underweight, and I know that your hair is starting to fall out."

Sam didn't even remember the doctor commenting on these things, and most certainly didn't tell anyone about his hair thinning and falling out. He hadn't even told Ruby this.

"How do you know this stuff?" Sam asked.

"I was there, Sammy," Dean said. "I went through the shit you're going through without the help from the doctor."

"What are you talking about?!" Sam stood from the computer. He didn't even bother to read Ruby's messages. "You were…anorexic…?"

Dean sighed. "Sammy, I was bulimic."

bluebear17:Gah! Cliffhanger dang. So I just stumbled upon this and I really enjoy it. You don't find too many eating disorder Sam stories. I'm looking forward to the next update :)

Thank you so much for the review, bluebear17 J I wrote this because I had been having trouble finding eating disorder Sam stories. I did find one called, 'I am Sam' by iamtryN, which was the best one I have found so far. I've also come across an eating disorder Dean story called, 'Thin'. I post a new chapter every Tuesday, so stay tuned! J