Kara was passed out on the couch when they got in, never having made it to the bedroom she shared with Mickey. Originally her and Tegan had always shared a room, but Tegan had complained that that was stupid since she was a teenager. So Kara moved in with Mickey. And it wasn't like it was any skin off his teeth or anything. They shared a double bed, but there was a definite line drawn down the middle of it. They were both messy, so the stuff that was dropped aimlessly all over the floor was as much Kara's as it was Mickey's.
And it wasn't like either of them got laid often anyway, but they definitely weren't stupid enough to bring people back to their apartment. Even Tegan's school had a fake address. They took no chances. And yet a fucking Gallagher still managed to find him in New York. Fucking New York where it shouldn't be possible to randomly bump into people you knew, just because.
"Mum," Tegan flicked Kara on the forehead, crouched down in front of her.
Mickey was already in the kitchen planning on drowning out all the thoughts in his head with beer. It was the parting comment that had done him in. He didn't give a shit about his father being missing, or about Lip trying to make him feel guilty. He just didn't know why the fuck Lip thought he should tell Mickey about Firecrotch. He didn't know why the hell Lip thought that Mickey should be asking after him, or that he cared, because that was obviously what the fucking prick thought.
Mickey didn't know what he thought anymore, he only knew about everyone else. And that was just stupid. Beyond stupid in fact.
He heard Tegan's bedroom door shut and knew that she would be packing without needing to be asked to. For some reason he wondered how he was going to make it up to her. He wasn't used to feeling like he had to do shit like that, but at the same time he was. Hell, it had been five years, he was allowed to give something of a shit.
"T says we have to go," Kara said, her fingertips touching his arm and then skimming across to take the beer from his hand. That was about the equivalent of a hug for them. Her expression was unreadable, but then Mickey wasn't sure he wanted to read it. He took back the beer as soon as she'd taken a mouthful. "You want to talk about it?"
She already knew the answer before she even asked the question, they both knew that.
"No," he replied anyway, even though it was a waste of a word, "My Dad's dead by the way." He felt like he should probably tell her that. He wondered what she'd say, whether like Tegan she thought that he would take off now.
"I know, Tegan told me," she said, her voice low and slightly scratchy from sleep, "So what now? We heading to Chicago?"
Mickey let out a breath that he didn't know he had been holding and then shrugged. "Should probably check on my sister," he said, "You'd like her." He didn't know why he'd added that. Normally he didn't bother with trivial pieces of information.
"Cool," she replied, probably just needing to say something. Mickey wondered if she even knew what she was saying. "Now don't be an asshole and help us pack." She walked away without saying anything else, the agreement made. They were heading to Chicago.
Fuck, Mickey thought, he maybe even muttered it under his breath.
He might as well have given the almost desperate way he necked the rest of his beer. He left the bottle on the side and didn't bother opening another. He'd drink the rest in the car, Kara could drive.
It took them just over half an hour to pack everything up, because they were sort of experts at it now. Which was actually kind of a sad thing to be good at if Mickey thought about it, but then he supposed it was no better or more commendable than any of his other talents. Talents which were all the sorts of things that would land a person in jail if they weren't careful.
Mickey sat in the back with Tegan whilst Kara drove, her legs in his lap and empty beer bottles and cans collecting in the footwell as they drank themselves into a hazy state. Although admittedly, Mickey did most of the drinking. Which was probably why he actually answered truthfully when Tegan asked him a question.
"You nervous?" she stared at him, but he refused to look at her, "About going back?"
They still hadn't spoken about Lip's parting comment, but all of the questions regarding that topic hung in the air constantly. Those questions threatened to choke him every time he breathed in. But he wasn't ready to give answers. He didn't know if he'd ever be. But what he did know was that a) Tegan wasn't going to put pressure on him to answer and b) it was all going to be summed up when they got to Chicago anyway knowing Mickey's luck.
If Gallagher hadn't got his ass blown off yet, then the chances were Mickey was probably going to run into him. He didn't want to. He never wanted to see Gallagher again, because his life would be so much easier like that. But he wasn't lucky and he just knew that fate was going to be shitty to him. It always was.
"A bit," he muttered, taking a large mouthful of beer that by this point he couldn't even really taste. "Fuck off," he added, slightly louder, just because he felt like he should.
Tegan didn't even look in the least bit offended. She just smirked at him and then shifted so that the feet in his lap were replaced by her head on his thigh. According to her, seatbelts were overrated, which he could see ending badly at some point, but it was a bit like the pot calling the kettle black if he commented.
He dozed off a little with his head back against the seat, Tegan using his thigh as a pillow and Kara humming along to the shitty music under her breath. They listened to the same thing every time they were in the car, the same CD. He didn't even know what it was, he couldn't be bothered to ask. All he knew was that it was shitty. When he woke up, and really he wasn't even sure he'd gone to sleep, but he supposed he must have, everything was still exactly the same. They were still driving.
He brushed a piece of Tegan's hair off her face with his fingertips, the gesture affectionate enough to make him cringe, but he couldn't take it back. It had almost been automatic. In fact, that was exactly what it had been.
Tegan wasn't attractive when she slept. She drooled a little and the expression on her face was always stupid. Her fingers twitched, as did her feet, like even in her sleep she was running from something. It almost made Mickey wonder if he was the same, if he had habits like that. It would have been gay to ask though, not to mention pointless, so it just remained as nothing more than a stray thought in his head.
The process of leaving was weirdly peaceful, it was familiar, he supposed that was maybe why. When he was sober enough, Kara pulled onto the side of the road and clambered over into the passenger seat while he got out. He replaced his leg with his folded up jacket, because Tegan was still asleep and he envied her for being able to sleep, but he didn't have the heart to wake her up.
He wondered if he had a heart. He thought maybe he did, but sometimes when he remembered things that he had done, it made him doubt the fact. It didn't even matter that he could feel it beating when he pressed his palm against his chest. Or then again, maybe it was his soul that was missing not his heart. He didn't know and he thought the thoughts in his head were gay so he stopped them.
It was only when they actually reached Chicago that the peace ended.