Another chapter! Yippy!

I'm not sure when I will update Return though…

I kind of been more interested in writing this story than that one.

And, I got a NEW KITTEN! I'm so happy I finally got one here at my new house! We used to have tons of cats at our old town in the country but now I live in the city. We were afraid to bring any of those cats because they might run away. Guess what his name is? I'll tell you at the bottom.

Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Disclaimer: If I owned FMA or any thing associated with it, then why am I writing this?

Heavenly Brothers

Ch.8 Depression

Everything was black. Cold, endless black. Nothing was out there and nothing ever will.

This is how Ed spent the first few nights in his coma. He was only aware of the guilt he felt and the pain. It was like an eternity for him. He wandered aimlessly in his own thoughts, and one should know that when left to your thoughts for hours on end you may just get depressed. And this young Elric had lots of sad and horrifying thoughts to ponder.

Buy the time Edward saw a small light in the distance; he was already on the edge of self pity. When he finally reached the light, it wasn't the beacon of hope he was looking for. He was hurled into terrifying night terrors.

There their mother was in the garden. Ed ran up to her smiling. He held out his newest creation, a little metal horse. Trisha smiled and praised him for his genius. Ed looked down at his shoes embarrassed, but then the tomatoes his mom was picking fell to the ground. Ed looked up worried. But he was no longer in the garden, he was in that small extra room, and his mother was no longer in front of him. Instead it was the skinless, grotesque form he had made.

"Why didn't you make me right? Why!" It wheezed falling to a bloody, broken pile at his feet.

"Brother!" Ed turned at Alphonse's voice to see black hands pulling him away. Flakes of Al were flying of and vanishing quickly. Then a suit of armor appeared in front of him. Red eyes glared intensely at Ed. Then to voice of his little brother echoed in the empty suit.

"This is all your fault, I HATE YOU!" His voice was lased with anger and his giant gloved hands were clenched in fists at his side.

Ed just stared, horrified. He had done that, him! He had failed to resurrect their mother. And Al paid for it.

Many different scenes like that one played out, and every one of them involved Al and their mother. They ranged from when Trisha Elric died, her turning into…that thing, Al losing his body, and Al blaming him for everything and leaving him.

Ed lived these over and over. Each one worse then the last.

Alphonse's POV

Alphonse was starting to get real worried. Ed had been asleep for the past four days, and this last day he has been trashing about in his bed a lot more than he had any other day so far.

The morning after they had tried the transmutation, Pinako had headed over to the brothers' house to check what they had done. She had come back rattled. She briefly said that she had buried the thing they had made, and then she headed up stares to her room and fell asleep. It must have been a real horrible sight to have Granny acting like that.

Now it was the middle of the night and Al was just sitting in the corner of the small room reading a book. Al had figured out that in this body he couldn't sleep, he also couldn't eat either. He was starting to miss those simple things, and to top it off the images of the failed transmutation kept playing in his head. No matter what he did to distract himself his mind would always wander back to what happened.

Al sighed shaking his head trying to rid himself of everything that had happened. Then as he settled back into the book he was reading, Ed bolted upright and yelled out. Al was startled at this sudden movement and just stared at his gasping brother. Ed was awake but he seemed not aware of were he was. He was looking around franticly with unseeing eyes. Al finally snapped out of it and ran to his brother's side.

"Ed, Ed! It's alright." He grabbed his panicking brother by the shoulders but avoiding were his right arm used to be.

Ed's eyes whipped to him, they were full of emotion. Once they spotted him, relief was the one that overwhelmed them all.

"Al?" Ed croaked.

"Yes, it's me Brother." In a matter as seconds, regret had replaced the relief in the eldest Elric's eyes.

Ed turned his head away from him, up to the ceiling and went limp in Al's arms. Al thought that Edward had passed out again but then he saw Ed's eyes open. They had suddenly lost all emotion and were dull compared to their usual color. This scared Al; he had never seen Ed like this.

"Brother?" Al asked uncertainly.

Ed's eyes shifted to look at him. This time Ed didn't turn away, but instead he seemed to just look through him. His eyes were completely blank and hollow, nothing in them at all.

The next thing, Ed closed his eyes and he fell asleep. Al was both relived but sadden that his brother fell asleep peacefully. Relived that he didn't have to see his brother's lifeless eyes, and sadden because he couldn't talk to Ed.

Ed didn't wake up for the rest of the night but he still trashed around more than ever. Al tried but couldn't wake him up from his bad dreams. Winry even came down in the real early morning to see what was wrong with his brother, but she just said that he was totally fine but what his sub-conscience mind was putting him through.

This worried Al even more. Brother had always had real bad dreams, and after what they just experienced they were probably even worse then normal. If Al could have slept, he would more than likely be in the same state as Ed right now.

By the morning though Ed had calm down and was finally sleeping peacefully.

"Has he woken up yet?" Winry had poked her head into the room.

"No," Al responded. Granny had said that since he was dreaming now he should wake up soon.

"Oh," Winry said slowly and went back to the kitchen.

Al sighed, it was nearing noon and Ed hadn't woken up yet, although he did have a ruff night.

He got up and left the room. He didn't want to be in here anymore. He headed outside, looking for some fresh air. Even though he could no longer breathe or smell, just being outside helped. Seeing his home town laid out before him was just calming. Field of different crops lined the hillsides and farm houses were scattered all over the place. This was home, even if something was always missing after mom had died.

Al had no idea how long he stayed out there but a scream from inside the house brought his thoughts back to reality. It sounded like Ed; he must have woken up from another bad dream.

Al rushed inside the house to see what was wrong. As he pushed into the room his brother was in, he heard flapping of wings. Ed was thrashing around like some one was trying to kill him. His wings were going crazy as well. Luckily Winry was in the basement and couldn't hear Ed or else she would have been in here also. Pinako was out shopping so she wasn't here either.

Al slowly advanced, trying not to be hit by Ed's powerful strokes. Ed's wings took up almost all of the space in the small room. His right wing was beating hard against the wall his bed was up against. The pain was probably not registering in his mind or he would have stopped by now. It was leaving some drops of blood smeared on the wall.

Once Al reached his brother he started to shake Ed.

"Brother! Brother! ED!" He yelled trying to snap his brother out of it.

Ed's wings slowly stopped moving and lay still on his back. After a minute Ed seemed to wake up and looked up at him.

"Sorry, Al." He said in a horse voice.

"It's ok, Brother. Are you alright?" Al had no idea what Ed was apologizing about, but he motioned to Ed's wing to show his concern for it. Ed looked lost.

"Is your wing ok? I mean, you were hitting it pretty hard against that wall." Al said. Ed blinked a few times still looking like he had no idea what he was saying.

"I did?" He asked. He moved both wings not looking back at them. He grimaced as his right wing moved. "Ow, how'd I do that?"

"You woke up from a bad dream." Al explained. Ed seamed to falter when he remembered his dreams.

"Right…" Ed said with no emotion, he tilt his head forward so his eyes were hidden.

"Let me try and fix it Brother, you're still too weak to." Al offered.

"Sure," Ed said toneless.

Al made Ed sit on the edge of the bed so he could reach the hurt wing. Once it was in his hands, Al focused all of his energy into his palms. Al was relieved that in this body he could still use his healing ability. He had tried everyone on the first night, the things he could not do was grow his wings, faze threw things, or go invisible. Most of them made sense why he couldn't do them since he didn't have a real body anymore. He just wondered if Ed had lost some of his powers too.

Ed kept his head down the whole time. That was, till he caught sight of the tip of one of his wings. His head jerked up to look at his now black wings.

"Wha- why are my wings black?" He asked surprised.

"I don't know. They were like that after the transmutation." Al was done healing the wing so he lowered his arms.

"I don't…oh," Ed seemed to realize something. "I think it's because of what I did." Ed lower his head again and spoke in that toneless voice.

"What?" Al didn't understand.

"I tried to play god and my wings turned black." Ed seemed curtain. He then looked up into Al's eyes, his face serious. "What about you?" then his face softened, sad, "What about your wings? Are they still white?"

Ed POV

Ed almost didn't want to hear the answer. Ed knew he deserved everything that has happened to him, especially his beautiful wings turning dark. But Al…Al didn't deserve any of these things that happened to him. Al didn't deserve a brother so useless and naïve.

Ed just hoped his brother's wings weren't marked as his was.

"Sorry, Brother, but I don't know. I can't grow them in this body." Al's words made Ed's heart sink lower than ever before.

"W-wh-at?" Ed said shakily. "You c-can't grow y-your wings a-anymore?"

"No," Al answered. Ed could tell how sad Al was, even with him in that armor..

Ed's guilt tripled. He had taken away one of the best things about being an angel, flying.

"Al, I'm sorry," he gripped the sheets with his only hand left, "I-"

Just then footsteps could be heard coming down the hall. Ed wasn't in the mood to explain anything involving what they were, so he quickly withdrew his stained wings.

Winry walked in the door a few seconds later. She caught sight of Ed awake and stopped. Ed just stared at her with mud colored eyes.

Before anyone could blink, a wrench was in Ed's head. He fell backwards on the bed twitching.

Winry's POV

"You idiot! How dare you do that! You two almost lost your lives! Look what happened to you guys! Do you think Granny and I liked you coming to our door half dead and Al not in a body, huh?" She was crying now.

"Your right, I am the worst." Ed said sitting back up but looking away hiding his eyes.

This was not what Winry expected. She lowered her wrench; she was in utter disbelief. She thought Ed would defend himself, not just agree with her.

"Um, look Ed. I didn't mean all of that-" Ed cut her off.

"But it's all true. It's all true." The last part he said in a whisper. He was stating to shake and a tear rolled down his cheek.

This startled the others in the room. Ed never cried, never. Not since he and Al watched their mother die in their hands. Not even at her funeral.

"Ed," Winry came and sat on the bed right beside him. She put a hand on his back to comfort him. For some reason her hand started to tingle but she ignored it.

Tears were flowing freely down his cheeks now and every once in a while he made a small sound. He seemed to be trying to hold back his cries. Winry didn't know how he could hold out like that, but Ed had always hated showing people his weaker side, even to his brother.

Ed calmed down soon and the tears stopped. Winry still felt awkward having seen her childhood friend, who was always the pillar of strength for her and Alphonse, break down like that.

Ed then grew silent and still, barley moving a muscle. This silence went on for quite a while. Neither of Ed's friends dared break it, and Ed seemed to be lost somewhere in his own mind. Soon Winry couldn't take it any more.

"I bet you're hungry, Ed. I'll go and get you something to eat." Ed didn't move or even acknowledge her. Seeing Ed's lack of response, Al answered for him.

"Yeah, that's a good idea." He said.

Winry nodded slowly and left the room. As she left she threw Ed a worried glance. Once she made it to the kitchen tears started to role down her face. She had refused to cry and be strong for Edward, but she couldn't hold back anymore. She let them fall as he made some chicken noodle soup, careful not to let any get into the soup. Even though it probably didn't matter if a tear or two fell in, she still tried her best to keep them out of the food.

"Winry, are you ok?" Winry jumped at the unexpected voice behind her. She quickly wiped away her tears and turned around.

"What are you talking about, Al? I'm perfectly fine." She said in the most cheerful voice she could muster.

"It's alright Winry. You don't need to be strong for us." Al voice started to shake. She knew he was close to tears too, even if he couldn't cry anymore.

"But, you and Ed were always there for me. You always were strong for me." Stray drops fell from her eyes and she quickly wiped them away again. "Besides, you see how he's acting. He needs some one strong more then ever, you do too Al. And Granny and I are the only ones that can fill that role now."

Al had been locked up in that room with Ed the whole time Ed was out. He had rarely left the small hospital room, and when he did, it was only to the other parts of the house for a few minutes or to the front yard for a little while. He had always returned to the room in less then a half an hour. And when he talked, which had become increasingly rare, it was always in a small voice. Winry could tell he was constantly trying to hold his voice steady because it wavered every once in a while. It was sad to see Al like that, and what she had just seen of Ed was a lot worse.

Al remained silent and helped her get the rest of Ed's lunch. When they brought the tray in to Edward, he was in the same spot on the edge of the bed he was before. He didn't even look up when they pulled a small roll-able table in front of him and set the soup on it. He didn't even move till Al spoke up.

"Please, Brother, you need to eat." Al pleaded.

Then he finally looked up at the tray of food. Slowly he reached for the spoon and started to eat. His left hand was shaky and uncoordinated and he only ate half the bowl. He just set the spoon down and refused to eat any more no matter how much they both tried to get him to.

As she took the tray of food to the kitchen she noticed some thing that she hadn't before. Half of the milk was gone from its glass and she had even seen Ed drink it. He never did that with out lots of bickering and threats with her wrench for him to actually drink a sip of milk.

Ok, now she was worried more then ever about the usually hot headed blond.

I think that was the only way to show how messed up Ed was after he failed to bring back his mom. I mean, seriously! Would Ed ever willingly drink milk?

I thought not…

AND, I found a great person that comes close to how I imagine Ed and Al's wings to look like. I know at least some of you people have watched X-men 3 The Last Stand (I just re-watched it for the first time in like forever) and the mutant who I think is called Angel has wings that pretty much match up with how I see the brother's. Well, only Ed now (I'm so sorry Alphonse!) and they are black now…

Also, my little blue elephant that sits by me when I write wants to thank every one who has reviewed, AND he will personally visit, in their dreams, anyone who failed to click the small little button marked "Review".

I will not up date till I have at least five more reviews!

And the kittens name is Edward. Ring any bells?

DyingHeartAlchemist