4. Under Surveillance

A sharp rap at the door of the conference room roused Cameron from her contemplation of Patrick's scans. She hastily put them down as two men entered without waiting to be asked in.

"Good afternoon. Dr House, we presume?" one of them asked.

Cameron scrutinised them. They looked like a parody of Men in Black: both wore dark suits and white shirts and had a slightly sinister air, but one wore a bow tie with green polka dots while the other sported pink sunglasses with round lenses. This was probably one of House's practical jokes on Wilson.

She gave them a distant smile. They were young and physically fit, so it could be that they were male strippers. Maybe House was pranking Cuddy, not Wilson, in which case she should try to defuse the situation before Cuddy threw a fit and punished House with extra clinic hours that he'd pass on to his fellows.

"Dr House isn't here at the moment, but maybe I can help you. I'm one of his fellows."

The two men looked at each other. "We're from the Agency for, um, National Health Security," the one with the pink sunglasses said with a Texan twang. "We're looking into an incident that took place at," he checked a large old-fashioned watch that he took out of his pants pocket, "15:47 hours. It involved the wand of one Sybill Trelawney, licensed to her by the British Wand Association on … ."

"I don't think that Dr House's fellow is interested in the intricacies of wand licensing," his colleague interrupted smoothly. "Were you here in the office when the incident happened?" he asked.

"I …," Cameron stammered, wondering what the best way might be to get these guys neutralised before Cuddy got a hint that they were in the house. She figured she'd be best off playing along until she grasped their intentions. How had House gotten hold of them so quickly? He had left the office with Trelawney and Foreman barely half hour ago! Besides, judging by his reaction to Trelawney reading Patrick's scans, he'd been as much impressed as amused. That he was turning the incident into a prank at this stage was – odd.

"Yes, I was here," she said, deciding that staying in the conversation was the best way to get at information.

The two men exchanged glances again, as far as that was possible from behind sunglasses. Then the one with the bow tie said, "Then I'm afraid we'll have to do something about that." He extricated a wand from his pocket.

This time it was the guy with the pink sunglasses who interrupted. "Wait," he said. "She isn't the only witness, and we need to find Trelawney first." He turned to Cameron saying, "Please take us to Sybill Trelawney."

Two male strippers in Radiology, messing up the schedule there? No way! Radiology hated Diagnostics as it was; given half a chance they'd run to Cuddy whining about delays and blocked machines and billing issues, and then there'd be even more clinic hours. "I'm sorry, but that isn't possible. She is … consulting on an important case at the moment. You'll have to wait till she comes back. I can offer you a cup of coffee though."

As she turned to the coffee machine to brew more coffee, she heard the word, "Imperius!" and all of a sudden everything went misty, blurred around the edges. She felt calm in a way that she hadn't done since she started working for House; her adrenaline level dropped to normal (or below) for the first time in three years, the need to strive, to prove her own worth suddenly seemed ridiculous, childish, in view of the futility of it all. Why not just be, exist, enjoy?

"You're taking us to Sybill Trelawney," the man with the bow tie said.

Sure, why not? Why deny these men their wish? To do so would be churlish when she was feeling so good, so relaxed, so in synch with the world. She felt a need to be in harmony with them and to do their bidding, so as not to upset them. She led the way out of the conference room and turned right towards the elevators, the two men flanking her.

They were passing Wilson's office when someone called her. Was she supposed to respond or continue looking for House? She looked at the man to the left of her. He nodded, so she turned around and waited for the caller to catch up with them. It was Professor Dumbledore's companion, that Snape man. He must have come down the stairs instead of taking the elevator. Maybe his lot didn't believe in modern technology, like the Amish.

"Dr Cameron," he said urgently. "Professor Dumbledore's condition is worsening. I don't know how much longer I can … ."

She tuned out what he was saying because she was getting a message from the men. They didn't want her to linger here with Snape; they wanted to continue on their way, so she should get rid of Snape quickly. She had no idea how she was so sure she knew what they wanted, but she did. And doing what they wanted was important, very important. She couldn't imagine flouting them.

Smiling politely at Snape she said, "I was just on my way to find Dr House. I'll give him your message as soon as I find him."

"I'll come with you," Snape said.

Oh dear, she could sense that the two men from the Agency didn't like that at all. Get rid of him!

"I'm afraid that won't be possible," she said to Snape. "Dr House is in a restricted area of the hospital. Only medical staff are allowed there."

"Dr Cameron, Professor Dumbledore is paying this hospital vast sums of money … ." Snape stopped in mid-sentence, eyeing her suspiciously. Then he looked at the two men in sudden realisation. "She's under the Imperius curse," he said.

The men's agitation and nervousness flooded over her like a wave. Deny it!

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she said to Snape, smiling coolly.

"I'm sure you don't," he said, putting his hand in his pocket.

And with that, as quickly as it had fallen on her, the fog of content lifted from her again, leaving her feeling cold and bereft, and then, as realisation hit her, terrified. She sank into a crouch, shivering, with her arms clasped around her body. What had happened to her? How had those men gotten her to behave like a puppet with no will of its own?

"You have no right to do that!" Sunglasses hissed at Snape. "I don't know who you are, but here you are under the jurisdiction of the United States Department of Wizardry. You have no right to interfere with officers of the Federal Bureau of Muggle Control."

"I'm Professor Severus Snape from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in Great Britain. Can you identify yourselves?"

They drew badges similar to police badges from their pockets. Snape looked at them with a supercilious sneer. "That still doesn't explain why you placed this woman under the Imperius curse. It was banned in 1947 by the Copenhagen Convention."

"Oh, he knows his magical history!" Bow Tie mocked. "The US Department of Wizardry never ratified the Copenhagen Convention. The Imperius curse is a proven method when dealing with insurgents, terrorists, or organised crime."

"I see. And to which category does Dr Cameron belong?" Snape asked.

"She's an important witness involving acts of wizardry in front of Muggles," Sunglasses said, folding his arms. "One Sybill Trelawney performed the Reparo charm in front of four Muggles this afternoon. That is a severe breach of security!"

One of Snape's eyebrows rose. "And you know that because?"

"We tracked her wand," Bow Tie said.

"You tracked her wand," Snape repeated ominously. "You have a warrant to track Sybill Trelawney's wand, I assume?"

The men looked at each other once again.

"No? I suppose I needn't tell you that tracking wands without a warrant is banned under the Transatlantic Wizardry Pact of 1990, a pact that your State Department did sign." Snape waited until they gave him reluctant nods of affirmation. "Let me summarise: You put someone under the Imperius curse for committing the heinous crime of witnessing a magical spell. I find it difficult to believe that your Department permits the use of an Unforgivable Curse except in situations of extreme danger, and I fail to see how Dr Cameron, or Sybill Trelawney for that matter, are a danger to anyone. Furthermore, you placed a perfectly respectable, albeit stupid, witch under wand surveillance without reasonable suspicion. I believe, gentlemen, that you have far exceeded your authority."

Bow Tie looked at Sunglasses. "He's very well-informed, isn't he? Maybe we should take him in for questioning."

"Do, by all means," Snape said smoothly. "I'm sure your superiors would love to hear from me how you used an Unforgivable Curse merely to facilitate your investigations and lengthen your coffee break. If you arrest me or Professor Trelawney or Professor Dumbledore of Hogwarts – I assume you have heard of Hogwarts?"

Judging by their sheepish looks they had.

Snape continued inexorably, "If you arrest any of us, I can assure you that there will be an international incident with a lot of bad blood, and undoubtedly heads will roll." It didn't take much imagination to figure out whose heads Snape had in mind. "I suggest that you return to your offices, take everyone – and when I say 'everyone', I mean it – from Hogwarts off wand surveillance, and get back to whatever you are supposed to be doing: fighting Dark Magic, for instance."

Sunglasses suddenly drew his wand. Snape, without actually withdrawing his wand from his pocket or uttering a word, must have done something, because before Sunglasses could say anything he was lifted bodily off his feet and flung towards the elevators. When he hit the ground, he slid along the polished floor on his ass until he thudded into the elevator doors.

Snape's lips moved without a sound, and a moment later the elevator door behind the befuddled wizardry officer opened, so that he more or less fell inside. "I suggest you go with him," Snape said to his companion, who took one look at Snape's expression before turning around and joining Sunglasses at a trot.

Snape kept a close eye on them until the elevator doors closed behind them, then he bent down. "I apologise, Dr Cameron. I'm afraid our presence has caused you some inconvenience."

Feeling decidedly disoriented, Cameron rose with the help of Snape's arm. "Why … What was that?"

Snape looked discomfited. "US Wizardry law enforcement officers. Cowboys!" he said disdainfully. "Our American friends have a tendency to jinx first and think afterwards."

"But why?"

"It seems that Sybill did magic in front of you. What did that foolish woman do, try to impress you with her divination skills?"

"She … ." Cameron tried to remember what had happened. "She read tea leaves. And then she mended her purse after Dr House, uh, tore it."

"With her wand?"

Cameron nodded.

Snape frowned, exuding disapproval. "We have been careful to be discreet, and now that woman comes and puts her foot in it within an hour! She deserves to have her wand broken."

"But you also did magic just now," Cameron pointed out.

Snape smiled thinly. "What exactly did you see me doing?" he asked.

Cameron paused. "That man, the one with the sunglasses, I saw him … ."

"You didn't see me do or say anything," Snape said looking at her down his nose, "did you?"

Cameron looked at him with a hint of appreciation. This man was House – without the adolescent humour and sexy aura. Without any humour at all, actually, but after an overdose and addiction, total abstinence wasn't a bad thing.

"How did you do that?" she asked.

"Telling you that, Dr Cameron, would completely defeat the purpose. Now will you take me to Dr House, please?"

"I'll page him."

"Page him?"

"I'd explain, but that would defeat the purpose," Cameron said with a toss of her head.

Snape's thin smile widened to a shark's grin.