Chapter Five
"What I want from us is empty our minds;
We fake, we fuss, and fracture the times"
The firm hand that held her's securely—as if it were the only thing in the world she needed to survive—became limp within Emma's fingers and her posture tensed considerably, as if all hope had vanished from inside of her. Suddenly, Regina's body came crashing against the blonde's heavily, knocking the breath she had been holding from her lungs. As the woman tumbled lifelessly against her, Emma began to grow worried as she bit at her bottom lip frantically. But before her panic could take its mighty hold over her, the high pitched screech of tires once again pounded inside her ears and the blonde scrunched up her face in fear. Digging her blunt nails against the soft polyester beneath her fingers, Emma hissed as she felt a hot gust of wind whip across her face. Bracing herself, the blonde sucked in a deep breath and let her head fall against Regina's shoulder, burying her face in the thick, apple scented locks.
Just as a sense of comfort washed over her, it was immediately snatched away as the truck's bumper collided against her shoulder. Seething with pain, the blonde barely noticed that, aside from the rough brush up, the vehicle had stopped moving. Silence cloaked itself around Emma and she shivered visibly—silence was never good. After several seconds the blonde still hadn't budged and she was nervous of what she would, or wouldn't, see if she were to open her eyes. For a fleeting second she pondered if she were dead; that the truck had rammed against her full force and her body didn't survive the impact. But, as she let the morbid thought quiet beneath the beating of her heart, Emma slowly opened a single green eye nervously. Noticing the familiar surroundings she let her other eye slip open and she nearly cheered for joy that she was, in fact, still alive. Smiling brightly, the blonde's happiness quickly evaded her as her gaze fell to her lap and she noticed the mayor's unconscious body wrapped around her's. Emma's heart sputtered in her chest at the realization that something seriously wrong could have happened to the brunette.
Shaking the woman in her arms gently, the blonde breathed Regina's name over and over silently, the way her tongue wound around the word comforted Emma. Slowly, the body began to move, and a soft groan fell from her full lips. Sighing with relief, Emma pulled back and looked down at Regina, awaiting the moment when her gaze met dark brown eyes. Eventually, the mayor's eyes fluttered open and a look of disorientation and confusion washed across her beautiful face. As a cool hand brushed against her cheek she shivered and let her gaze flicker up at the woman who had touched her so gently. Realizing it was Emma who held her so tightly, and so protectively, it made a small, tired smile tug at her mouth. But, their quiet moment of adoration was cut short as the sound of a car door made them both jump.
"Oh, Jesus…" Michael cursed, rounding his truck quickly, "damn it, I didn't even see you two. Jeez, I'm so sorry."
Hearing the familiarity in the voice that apologized behind them, Emma cocked her head to the side and smirked as the tall, bulky man came into view. Michael. The man she had not so long ago reunited with his children and a well of warmth swelled in her stomach at the thought of finally doing something right. Taking the iniative she gave a curt nod of the head, signaling that his apology was easily accepted. But, before she could turn back to the woman that had fallen in her arms, the brunette—who had seemed so serene and weak only moments before—frantically pulled herself out of the blonde's grasp. Before she could stop her, Regina was standing and striding over toward the worried man. Green eyes widened as Emma watched the mayor grab Michael by the collar of his blue jumpsuit and roughly pushed him against the hood of his red tow-truck. As the scene played out before her, the blonde scrambled to her feet to approach the enraged brunette.
"If she has so much as a mark on her…" Regina seethed, tightening her hold on the smooth material, "…I will destroy you."
"Regina—" Emma started, reaching a hand forward and gently brushing her fingers against the brunette's arm.
Warmth seeped though the thin coat but the blonde's pleas were cut short as the mayor jerked away from the touch. "Stay out of this, Ms. Swan!"
For a minute, Emma felt hurt, her lips contorted into a frown as her heart beat thundered within her chest. But the realization hit her before tears could even be considered: Regina and the blonde weren't together, they weren't even friends. Seemingly remembering her relationship with the brunette, Emma squared her shoulders, gritted her teeth and walked away from the woman. Reaching Henry, she placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and squeezed it tightly; tears twinkled in his eyes when he turned to look at the blonde, and he pulled her into a frantic hug. Smiling as she felt his small arms encircle her waist, Emma flicked her gaze back over to Regina, who was in the process of threatening the pleading man.
"Madame Mayor, I—"
"No!" the brunette interrupted loudly, pushing him harder against the hood for emphasis and her brown eyes reveled with the terrified expression on his face. "You don't get to speak after what you've done. You could have killed her—"
"No, you could have killed her!" Henry yelled from the sidewalk, pulling away from the blonde as a look of horror caressed his youthful features.
At the sound of her son's terrified voice, the mayor faltered and her head whipped to the side, her dark eyes meeting Henry's. His small face was masked in disgust and hatred, and it made Regina's hands quiver as they fell away from Michael's collar. Choking on the breath she had been holding, the brunette straightened herself as she walked over to her son; he was distraught and he needed to be comforted. Quickening her step, the mayor tentatively reached out a hand, trying to caress Henry's cheek but he stumbled backward to escape her touch. The action made Regina's heart stop and she felt tears prickle behind her eyes: her son hated her; there was no need to question it any longer. She was a monster in his eyes, and now, more than ever, the brunette wished that she had simply cursed herself, instead of everyone else in Storybrooke.
"Henry…" the mayor pleaded, trying to reach out again, but she jerked her hand away as he glared at her with hot, fiery eyes.
"Don't touch me!" Henry nearly screamed, as he stumbled back further and began running down the sidewalk in an attempt to flee his mother's presence. "I hate you!"
The three words shot through Regina's heart like a bullet, and her knees shuddered as if she were going to fall down from the shock. Her son had always been cold to the mayor ever since he got his hands on that damned storybook, but he had never told his mother that he hated her before, until that moment. Taking a shaking breath, the brunette let tears well up in her eyes as she started forward in an attempt to chase after her son. Though, she didn't make it far before Emma grabbed her by the arm and pulled her backwards. Regina growled deeply within her chest as she tried to free herself from the tight hold that the blonde had her in. Eventually the mayor pulled away from Emma's grip and she seethed at the blonde, tears falling onto her cheeks as her glare burned into Emma's skin.
"Don't." The blonde warned the brunette, her voice thick and heated with anger. "You've done enough, Regina."
"You don't make the decisions," Regina ground out between barred teeth, "I'm his mother."
"I'm his mother too." Emma said in a clipped tone, and she watched the fire consume the mayor's black eyes as the brunette lifted her arm as if she was going to smack the blonde. Reaching up quickly, she grabbed Regina's wrist and dug her fingernails into the skin. "Don't try that again—now stay here and shut up while I clear out the crowd. I'll help you look for Henry afterward."
"Fuck you…" the mayor seethed under her breath as Emma walked away.
The pain and anger that swelled inside of the brunette's stomach made the urge to leave all the greater, but a small part buried deeply underneath the darkness forced her to stay. Clearing her throat, Regina turned around and shot Michael a glare as he finally pulled himself away from the hood of his car; she still had the undeniable ache to walk over and punch him square in the jaw. But that was when the mayor realized why she had threatened him to begin with: Emma. He had nearly killed the blonde, and the brunette's initial reaction to someone hurting Emma was to cause them pain in turn. Knitting her brows together as she rested against the side of her Mercedes, Regina bit at her lip in contemplation, and her eyes widened further as the incredible notion bounced around her mind loudly. She loved her; she was in love with Emma.
Lifting a hand, the mayor squeezed the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger as she tried to push the thought away from her mind. There was no possible way that she had let her heart run away from her; had let it open itself up enough to let someone within the impenetrable depths. Love was weakness, that was what she was taught, how she was raised, and yet as the brunette slowly lifted her gaze to Emma, who was talking with the crowd outside of Granny's, Regina felt her chest twitch as her heart skipped a beat. The betraying muscle spoke the truth; it whispered all the soft, tender words that the mayor, herself, would never have the strength to say. Her heart was weak, and stupid, and the brunette needed to deal with it—needed to harden it so that the blonde couldn't claim it any further.
Taking a deep, shaking breath, Regina let her head fell backward, as her dark eyes looked up to the sky. Blinking back tears that she wished she could release, the mayor dug her fingernails into the palms of her hands and growled silently; it echoed hollowly within her chest, as if trying to frighten the humming muscle out of its feeble attempts at finding solace—finding love. But the seed was already been planted, Emma had touched her with a kindness and a tenderness that the brunette hadn't been in the company of for decades. The blonde was the only person that had seen the frightened, vulnerable side of the brunette, and Regina couldn't believe that she had let herself become so moronic and careless to have let the mask fall away. All of these thoughts wrestled within the mayor's mind as she tried to fight off the emotions that she was seemingly drowning in, but nothing she did, no matter how hard she pushed, they would never stop plaguing her. No, not until Emma was completely void of her life.
Feeling moisture against her cheek, the brunette snapped her eyes open and touched the drop of water that trailed down her face. Noticing that it wasn't a tear, Regina merely brushed it away as she saw the clouds grow darker under her gaze—rain was coming, and it was going to be quite a storm. Sighing in relief that her hard shell hadn't been broken completely, the mayor turned her eyes back to the street. The red truck and all of the people had vanished, thankfully, but the brunette's main problem was walking towards her, and Regina wasn't sure how she would react to the blonde; all of her actions for the past couple of days had surprised the mayor, and she was sure that the shock wasn't about to end.
"It's strange to see you actually following orders." Emma said dryly as she reached the brunette's sad, her green eyes rolling in jest; she was trying to make amends in her own stubborn way. "Shocking, almost."
"Don't worry, Ms. Swan," Regina started, as she pushed herself away from her car and straightened her jacket, removing all of the creases, "I don't plan on making a habit out of it."
"Good to know." The blonde said evenly as she briskly walked over to the passenger side of the black Mercedes. The mayor quirked an eyebrow at her in question, and Emma rolled her eyes again before she looked up at the dark gray sky. "Come on, it's gonna rain soon and we have to find Henry before it starts."
"Are you not capable of using your own car, Ms. Swan?" The mayor spat as she waved her hand in the direction of the beat up, yellow beetle. She needed to get away from the blonde, not be locked in a small vehicle with her.
"Jesus Christ, Regina…" Emma ground out, glaring at the brunette as she slammed a hand against the car door, "does everything always have to be a fight with you? Our son is missing; working together is our best option. So swallow your hatred for me and get in the damn car!"
Dark eyes widened at the blonde's declaration: their son. For a moment Regina was floored by the wonderful way it sounded coming from Emma's lips, but she ignored it and sneered instead. Regardless of how tangled her emotions were, what the mayor did know was that the blonde was right: Henry was lost and it would do them no good if they argued, it was best to work together and take action. Nodding, the brunette opened her door and slid into the driver's seat. Feeling the blonde clamor in beside her, the mayor held her breath as she put the key into the ignition and started the car. As the engine roared to life, she let herself move her gaze away from the street as they landed on the Emma's face. A strong jaw, defined cheeks, thin lips, and large green eyes created a beautiful masterpiece upon the blonde's countenance, and Regina found it hard to tear her eyes away from the beauty that nestled there. Finally pulling her view back to the road, the mayor began driving down the main street, absently squeezing the steering wheel between white knuckled fingers. The tension between the two women was enough to kill both of them; the anger, coupled with the hidden desire that thrummed within each of their bodies made it feel as if there was no air in the car. Surprisingly, though, after a few moments, Emma fidgeted within her seat noisily as she cracked through the tension with much needed conversation.
"I told Michael to look for him at the playground," the blonde said evenly, her green eyes boring into the brunette's face with a wealth of intensity, "so you and I can check around the forest…he might've got lost."
"Michael?" Regina asked skeptically as she neared a stop sign, but quickly slammed on the brakes as the name finally registered within her brain. "You mean the man that nearly killed you and got us both into this mess?"
"He's a good guy …" Emma promised wearily, leaning back into the seat as if the upholstery would comfort her ever changing emotions, "…and besides, you are the one who got us into this. Henry ran off because of you."
The mayor's eyes narrowed as she glared at the woman beside her: the blonde was slumped against the seat with her eyes pressed shut. The sight seemed to stifle the brunette's torrent of anger and she snapped her head back to the street, her mouth closing as she maintained silence, but the scowl remained etched across her lips. As Regina placed her foot against the gas and resumed driving, Emma opened one of her eyes and looked over at the irritated woman and she felt her chest tighten; she couldn't remember wanting someone so deeply before, and it literally made her body ache with need. Trying to push away the uncomfortable feeling with thoughts of anger, the blonde realized it was a lost cause; her heart wanted what it wanted, and secretly it had always wanted the brunette. Sighing, Emma shifted in her seat again, and signaled for the mayor to pull over: it was time to begin the search for their son.
XXXXX
They had been walking through the forest for at least an hour—both simultaneously yelling Henry's name through the trees, in hopes of him hearing—when it started to rain. It rushed down through the thick leaves in rough strokes, soaking both women instantly, but neither seemed to care as they continued to search frantically. As the rain pelted down upon them, the blonde grimaced as water fell into her eyes making them sting. Rubbing away the dull pain to no avail, Emma jogged beneath a large tree that seemed to keep out most of the rain. Catching her breath, the blonde watched as Regina waded through the muck and wet grass as she remained searching for the boy. So consumed by the thought of Henry being in trouble, the brunette never noticed Emma standing beneath the tree she was about to pass, which caught the mayor completely off guard when the blonde pulled her under the shelter of the leaves and branches. Gasping in shock, Regina lost her balance and collided against the other woman; their wet clothes pressing and sticking together. Sucking in a breath, Emma flicked her eyes down to meet the mayor's, and the blonde found herself stuck in a pool of glimmering darkness: those black eyes of the brunette's could easily devour Emma, and in that moment the blonde fully believed that she would allow it willingly.
"What are you doing?" Regina whispered, her voice seemingly lost due to her body being in such close proximity to the blonde's. "We're supposed to be looking for Henry."
"We could both use a minute out of the rain." Emma supplied, her voice unwavering but her heavy breaths portraying her lack of control.
As the rain crashed against the trees, and the wind bellowed and hollered throughout the forest, the two women continued to cling to one another, neither being able to move. Moments fluttered by like raindrops falling from the leaves: quickly and rapidly—at time being lost as the blonde and the mayor stared at each other. Eventually, the dull sound of a twig snapping in the distance made both women tumble into the present, and they both looked through the thick blanket of rain in search of the familiar form of Henry. But instead, a deer lazily flittered through the trees as a way of escaping the precipitation. Both women sighed in frustration, as they pulled away from each other.
The urgency was quickly creeping up on the brunette, and she felt the worry she had for her son twist around her veins tightly. Suddenly, without a thought, she sped away from the shelter of the tree and ran back out into the rain, tripping and wobbling in her stilettos. Regina's screams tore through the forest as she went; her tears mingling with the rain water that ran down her cheeks in cold strokes. Her heart was hammering in her chest so loudly that the mayor's ears seemed to ring with the persistent noise: the fear that overwhelmed her reflected the same frantic emotions that had exploded from her when Henry had run away from home in search of his birth mother; a fear that she had never experienced so forcefully in her life. But the terror that rushed through her body only seemed to make the brunette search more thoroughly, she was sure she would die if anything happened to her little boy—it was all her fault.
The muscles within Regina's legs begged for her to stop, but she ignored the pain that shot through her calves as sobs ripped through her chest. As she picked up her speed, the mayor felt a firm hand wrap around her wrist, stunting her pace, and the brunette spun around quickly. When she turned, Regina was face to face with the blonde; Emma's cheeks were pale from the cold, and her golden hair lay sopping upon her shoulders and face, and yet the mayor still found her incredibly beautiful. A breath stuck in the brunette's throat as the fingers crawled up her arm to sit on her shoulder, the palm squeezing it roughly. Blood shot green eyes stared into her own, and Regina found herself shivering as she limply tried to pull away from Emma's hold on her.
"This," the blonde yelled over the roar of the rain as she waved her hand in exasperation, "won't help find him. You could get hurt…we'd have better luck if we—"
"Shut up!" The mayor screamed as she finally gathered the strength to pull away from Emma's grasp. "I need to find him—I need to find my son!" Her black eyes grew wild then as she poked the blonde in the chest for emphasis. "Like you said this is my fault, and I need to find him!"
"Shit…Regina, I was just pissed off, I didn't mean it." Emma said, as she leaned forward, making the finger that had poked her falter until the mayor's palm pressed against her chest. "Let me take you home…I don't want anything bad to happen to you!"
"Why," the brunette asked, her voice was suddenly small and unsure then, "…why do you care what happens to me?"
As the question fell from Regina's lips, the blonde felt her heart stall within her breast, and she let her head bow as her eyes peered at the dirty tips of her boots. If it had been a couple of hours earlier, Emma would have spoke the full truth, she would have looked the mayor square in the eye and told her that she cared deeply for her, and that somewhere deep within her heart the blonde loved her. But not now, not after everything that had transpired between them—no, she couldn't trust that she wouldn't get blown off, or worse…hurt. Stricken speechless, and rendered motionless, Emma gulped down her fear and tried to decide on how she should answer the floundering question, but once her eyes met the curious black ones in front of her, the blonde realized that her mouth had gone dry and all coherent thought erased from her mind.
"Because I…" Emma's voice cracked then, and she grimaced. "I can't…Jesus, why is this so hard?"
"Just tell me!" Regina snapped, nearly screamed in frustration as she watched the blonde tumble and trip over her words. She needed to know or else her body would explode with pent up tension.
It was then, as the mayor demanded a response that Emma finally seemed to grasp the amount of courage to properly portray why she cared for the brunette. With her pulse pounding in her ears, and her head swimming with nervousness, the blonde surged forward and claimed Regina's lips with her own. Their bodies crashed together as Emma quickly invaded the mayor's mouth, her tongue rolling across a plump bottom lip before the brunette let her in. The rain beat down upon them as their fingers dug into wet material of leather and polyester; clinging to each other as if they couldn't fathom the notion of letting go. Their tongues dueled savagely, and Regina moaned loudly into the blonde's mouth; the feeling of kissing Emma completely sober seemed to cause more sensations then when she had accosted the blonde in her father's crypt the night before.
Tangling her fingers into the dark, wet strands of the mayor's hair, the blonde pulled the other woman deeper into her, and her body shuddered with the hot desire that instantly coiled within her stomach. Breaking away for only a moment, the brunette growled in frustration, nipping at Emma's lip roughly—trying to coax the blonde to lean back in for another taste. Smirking deviously, Emma licked her lips and brought her mouth towards Regina's, but just before she was able to press against the mayor her pocket began to vibrate and she scowled at the interruption. Rolling her green eyes, the blonde pulled the cell phone from her pocket and answered it with irritation.
"Sheriff Swan," Emma murmured into the phone absently as the brunette looked at her with annoyance, but the voice on the other end grabbed her attention instantly. As the person on the other line babbled on, the blonde gripped the phone tightly as she listened closely. After a couple of moments the conversation seemed to come to an end and she nodded sharply. "Alright, thank you."
"Who was it?" Regina asked dryly, narrowing her eyes as the rain dripped off her eyelashes.
"Michael." Emma said softly, grabbing a hold of the mayor's hand as she began leading them through the trees. "He found Henry at the playground. He's a little angry, but he's alright."
Nodding absently, the brunette was distracted by the wealth of warmth that raced through her veins; Henry had been found, and he was safe. A relieved sigh escaped her lungs, as Regina's lips twitched with the hint of a smile. But, as the trees thinned and the two women neared the end of the forest, the mayor felt something inside of tug roughly; something forceful and dark. Closing her eyes tightly as Emma dragged her onto the street, the brunette tried to swallow the unwarranted thoughts and words that pounded inside her head. As they continued to scream and claw within her brain, Regina was forced to stop walking; the abrupt halt made the blonde jerk backward in surprise. Stumbling a bit, Emma noticed the odd look poised on the brunette's face and she leaned closer, her mouth opening as if to speak, but as the dark eyes looked at her with a coldness that Emma had believed she would never see again, she flinched away from Regina. Seeing the blonde's reaction to her, the mayor pulled her hand away from the one that cupped her own and began walking, quickly, towards her car.
Standing, dumbfounded, on the side of the street, Emma watched as the brunette walked away and she felt her face grow pale as the blood in veins ran cold; something had changed between them in the woods, and yet once they emerged it seemed that Regina had reverted back to the same place she had been earlier. The notion tangled in the blonde's heart strings, tugging at them viciously, and Emma felt something explode inside of her. Before she could stop herself the rage took over, and the blonde stormed after the mayor. When she was only a step behind the brunette, the blonde reached out and spun the woman around to face her. Black, watery eyes looked up at her with an uncharacteristic softness, but within seconds they grew as cold and dark as ever.
"Why are you doing this?" Emma spat, her eyes searing into the other woman's as her fingernails dug deeper into arm beneather her fingers. "Why do you always run away when you're scared? You're pathetic!"
"I'm pathetic?" Regina countered, her lips curling in a scowl as she seethed at the blonde. "You waltz into a town where you do not belong and begin taking things that are not yours. You're a low life and a thief and you have the nerve to call me pathetic?
"I wouldn't have to if you didn't fuck with peoples' emotions and then pretend like nothing happened!" Emma screamed, shaking the mayor for emphasis, hoping that she could show the brunette just how much she was hurting inside. "You and me…we kissed in there…that meant something to me." Her voice was cracking, but the blonde didn't seem to care as she spewed out every thought that entered her mind. "You manipulated me into believing that deep down you were a good person, but you're not—you're the same bitch I thought you were when I first came here."
The words were as sharp as blades, and each word pierced Regina's flesh as they fell freely from the other woman's lips. As the mental pain tore at the mayor's heart, she let her face grow colder and more sinister, but deep down she knew that everything Emma was saying was the truth. She was a coward, and everytime she felt something positive flutter inside of her, the brunette always had the inexplicable urge to crush it—to destroy it. As the blonde's words echoed within her ears, Regina steeled herself, trying with all of her might to keep her mask firmly in place. She was so stupid to believe that this time things would be different; surrounded by the trees, with Emma's arms wrapped around her and the vulnerability of her worry shining from her eyes, the mayor felt that, perhaps, she finally was allowing herself to love, to be loved. But once she had found out that Henry was safe, and they had left the sheltered haven of the forest, the feeling of the blonde's fingers wrapped around her own made the brunette disgusted with herself. No, it would never be different because Regina would never be different—she would always remain terrified of the weakness that love created; always be frightened that the person she gave her heart to would quickly be ripped from her.
"I'm a bitch because I have to protect the things I care about, Ms. Swan—something you will never understand." The mayor said gruffly as she thrust open the door to her car. A dull pang splintered through her heart as it was well aware that her next words would forever fracture their relationship—whatever sort of relationship it was that they had. "Now, I'm going home to my son, and I'm warning you to stay away from him…and from me."
The threat hung in the air with a thickness that seemed to choke the blonde, and her eyes widened as she tried to keep a hold of the woman beneath her hand, but the brunette's force was too great. Watching, shell shocked, as Regina stepped away from her and slid into the driver's seat of the Mercedes, Emma opened her mouth to say something, to try and get the mayor to understand her frustration, but the car door slammed in her face. Letting a stilted breath fall from her lips, the blonde lunged toward the car and pounded her hand against the window, to which the brunette ignored as she turned the key in the ignition. Pleading loudly above the rain and the purring engine, Emma let her forehead rest against the window for a moment hoping that Regina would change her mind. But her mind was already set, and as she pressed the toe of her stiletto down hard on the gas, the mayor let a choked sob rip from her lungs as she peeled down the street. Looking in her rear view mirror, the brunette felt the hot tears pour from her eyes as she saw Emma standing numbly in the middle of the road being pelted by rain. It took all of Regina's strength not to pull the car over and to continue driving; the pain of letting the blonde go was killing her, but she knew that this was what she needed to do, or else face a greater loss than she had ever felt in her entire life: the complete and utter loss of control.
A/N: First of all I want to apologize to everyone who has been following this story: it's literally been months since I've updated and I feel horrible. For some reason I just couldn't muster the inspiration for this story that I once could, and I felt the need to give you readers the best when it came to this piece. But, finally, after months and months I was suddenly struck with the inspiration to work on this, and I'm so glad that I finally have it finished, and by IT I mean this chapter. Don't worry, there are still plenty of chapters to go until the end; I have huge plans for this piece! It may be a bit rough, but I hope you all enjoy it nonetheless. And thanks for sticking by me during the hiatus, it means a lot. Anyway, as always, review if you'd like!