Sorry about the lack of updates, but I have excuses. I honestly do. I'm not going to bother saying them, but I do have them! I also have a new computer so I am going to do my best to christen it by writing as much as I can. It also helps that it's summer. So this is Spencer's first piece of work, because yes I name my laptops :D makes them feel special. Shut up. . . I'm weird okay, you all already knew that! Enjoy. . .
The moment that Kara's eyelashes fluttered and her fingers twitched, Mickey lurched across the room towards her. It was like he was suddenly on fire, like he was desperate. He wrapped his fingers around Kara's forearm and bent over her and Ian saw him smile properly when Kara blinked up at him.
She had a tube down her throat and she started choking, reaching up to try and dislodge it, but Mickey caught her hands. "Don't fucking move," he muttered, squeezing her arms in a way that was probably the equivalent of Mickey holding her hand, "Just relax and I'll go get a fucking doctor, see if they can take the tube out."
Kara nodded slowly, barely perceptibly and Mickey lurched away again and moments later they were being shooed out of the room by the same doctor that had known who Mickey was. The conversation with the doctor before had confused Ian, because he kept looking at Mickey and couldn't see anything wrong with him. He looked healthy and normal, bouncing around on the balls of his feet impatiently outside of the door to Kara's room. He seemed a little on edge and whole lot tired, but there wasn't anything physically wrong with him as far as Ian could tell.
He couldn't understand what Mickey would need a check-up for, or why he would need to be using cream for something. But all those thoughts just swung right back round to what the hell has Mickey done this time? And he kept wondering what fire as well. They kept talking about a fire. A fire that had obviously involved Kara because they were talking about damage to her lungs.
Ian was just glad nothing seemed to have happened to Mickey. He knew that was more than a little bit selfish.
If he was being honest, he didn't know why he was sticking around at the hospital. It wasn't really his place, but he didn't want to leave. He told himself it was because he wanted to make sure that Carl got home okay and that he had nowhere else to be, but honestly, it was more that he wascurious. Curious to see whether he could glean any sort of information about what Mickey had been up to.
And curious to see whether or not Mickey was actually married. He didn't understand that. The doctor seemed to completely believe that Mickey and Kara were together and married and Mickey was acting sort of like a concerned husband bouncing around like he was, but it didn't sit right in Ian's head. Maybe that was because he knew that Mickey was gay. Or maybe it was because he didn't want to believe it. He didn't want to believe that Mickey was that far in the closet that he couldn't even see the light anymore.
"What happened?" that was the first question that Kara asked when they walked back into the room. Her voice was raspy from misused and quiet, but then Ian didn't know what it had sounded like before so he supposed he didn't have all that much comparison to do.
"I got shot, it's not a big deal," Tegan replied and Ian saw Mickey tense up and almost look guilty. Like this was all his fault. Like he'd pushed Tegan in front of him.
Kara's eyes drank in the sight of her daughter and she touched her face gently with a shaking hand. "Who?" she asked, "And how long have I been out?"
"Just over a month," Mickey said, "And it was my brother Iggy, the police caught up with him though so that's one less Milkovich to worry about." He looked at Tegan with a weird sort of pain in his eyes, it practically burned. "Tegan took the bullet that was meant for me."
"And are you alright?" Kara asked Tegan, their hands now entwined together.
She nodded.
"Well then stop fucking looking so guilty," Kara growled at Mickey, the effect a little more scary because of her damaged voice, "We'd be fucking dead if it wasn't for you Mick, that doctor told me what you did."
And if Mickey had been the sort of person to blush, Ian thought he would have been.
"It wasn't a big deal," he said, throwing himself down into the chair by Kara's bed, "Just glad we aren't fucking dead." He scratched as his arm and frowned, "Not yet anyway."
"Jesus Christ, Mickey, you're so melodramatic," Kara muttered, but there was affection in her eyes when she smiled at him and Ian could feel himself getting jealous. Because they obviously had some sort of relationship, at the very least it was friendship, but he couldn't stop his mind from racing away with itself and letting him imagine all sorts of scenarios in which Mickey was married to a woman.
Or Mickey was married to anybody at all.
It was only when Tegan settled down on Carl's lap, still holding her mother's hand that Kara realised that there were other people in the room. She stared at Carl like she was assessing him and Ian learnt where the hell Tegan got that look from when he saw it. She didn't look a lot like her mother, but her mannerisms were almost exactly the same.
He doesn't know why, but Kara isn't exactly what he expected. He doesn't even know what he expected.
"And who are these two?" she asked, her voice wheezing a little bit. Her eyes had skirted over Ian and he didn't know whether or not to be insulted by the fact that she obviously didn't think that he was too much of a threat. In comparison to Carl, she hardly even looked at him.
"Carl Gallagher ma'am," Carl said, smiling nervously, which was a weird expression to be on Carl's face. It was ever weirder hearing Carl as he attempted to be polite. Carl had never really attempted to be polite in his life before and it was testament to how he felt about Tegan that he was making an exception then.
Kara studied him for a second and Ian didn't miss the way that her eyes seemed to flick towards Mickey; and he also didn't miss the small, barely noticeable nod that Mickey gave her. And Ian didn't know how he felt about that. He didn't know how he felt about Mickey apparently approving of Carl. Not only because that was insane, because as much as Ian loved his brother, even he could acknowledge that he was not the best choice for the person your daughter was dating. And it hurt as well because Mickey had never approved of Ian, but apparently he had no problem approving of Carl.
That hurt in a way that was completely stupid and pointless, but Ian said nothing and just looked back at Kara in time to see the smile break out across her face. And she was beautiful when she smiled like that, breath-taking and Ian couldn't really even blame Mickey for wanting her. If that was what was going on, because honestly Ian didn't even have a clue anymore. He didn't know why he was even still there, he certainly didn't know why Mickey was letting him still be there. It made no sense; and yet it was happening.
"Cool," Kara said, almost nonchalantly, like she didn't care in the slightest. Except Ian could see that she did. "Just treat my girl right, otherwise Mickey here'll hurt you in ways you can't even imagine."
And there was an edge to Mickey's smile when it appeared on his lips, it was something so protective that Ian could feel his breath getting caught in his throat. It was terrifying and dangerous and so completely pained that Ian really wished he knew what they'd been through, because it was killing him now knowing. It was killing him being able to see the hurt hidden in Mickey's eyes and yet not knowing what had caused it.
He shouldn't care. He knew he shouldn't care. But this was Mickey. This was the guy who had been his first love, because Kash really didn't count. That had never been love, that had been convenience and full of first times and maybe it had been something close to love. But it hadn't been love, not at all. It never could have been, because Kash was never Ian's. He was never Ian's like Mickey was, even though Mickey would deny it. Although, much more to the point, Ian was never Kash's. He never had a problem sleeping around on him, never had a problem walking away, not like with Mickey.
So he couldn't let go, he couldn't let go of Mickey. He couldn't stop worrying. He didn't think he'd ever be able to. And it was when he realised things like that that he wished he'd only ever known Mickey as the neighbourhood thug, that he'd never met him even, that they'd never been through that disaster of a relationship that wasn't even called a relationship.
But at the same time he wouldn't give that time up for anything. Ian thought that was pathetic.
"That was what you said to that guy in the bar two years ago," Tegan put in, snuggling back into Carl's arms. The relief was obvious on her face, the relief that her mother approved of her relationship. Ian wondered what that felt like, he'd never had that. His relationships had always been too questionable for anyone to approve of ever. And an example was sitting in front of him.
Mickey snorted, the smile fading away as he scratched his forehead with grubby, red-stained fingers. He seemed more relaxed now. "Yeah and didn't that night get fucking colourful," he said and Ian was sure that there was a private joke in there somewhere, but it seemed that between these three there wasn't a single thing that wasn't locked up tight in a box only the three of them had keys to.
"Speaking of which," Kara said; and honestly, Ian couldn't see the connection between the two topics in any way, but he latched onto the words she said next, because they sounded like the most important thing he had ever heard, "Why the hell did that doctor keep calling me Mrs Milkovich?"
Mickey sounded like he was choking on his own saliva and he turned red, actually blushing in a way that Ian wished he had been able to make him do. He scratched the back of his neck and stared at the floor. "Because after what happened he was bound to check the hospitals for you," Mickey replied, not looking at anyone, which Ian was glad about because he didn't need anyone to see the blatant look of relief on his face, "And the paramedics already thought I was your husband anyway, was just easier."
And then Kara actually pouted, which looked strange because she was smirking at the same time. "Damn it, I actually thought for a minute there you'd fallen for my womanly wiles," she said, snapping her fingers and banging her fist down on her thigh, trying her apparent best to look exasperated, "There are my dreams crushed."
Mickey leant back a little more in his chair and met her eyes finally, the colour fading back out of his skin again. "Like that's ever going to fucking happen," he muttered, so low that Ian almost didn't catch it. But he did and he knew what those words meant. They meant that Kara and Tegan knew. That they knew.
They knew Mickey was gay, they knew all about that, which maybe explained why they were on edge about the Milkovich brothers being after Mickey. They knew. Ian tried not to let it show how much that surprised him, how glad it made him. Because this was a step. A baby step admittedly, but it was still a step. Mickey had told someone, he had admitted it to someone. That was progress.
Ian just had to remind himself not to get too carried away with that thought. Because Mickey admitting he was gay to two people didn't mean that Mickey felt anything for Ian. That he ever had. But it was still progress; and progress was good.