Courtesy of Nash Grier for the first two sentences ...

This chapter is dedicated to Emberclaw, for coming up with the amazing idea of Willowpelt, Willowbreeze, and Redwillow! Thanks!

Brokenstar stares at the picture of himself flexing his muscles on Instapaw. He starts to type and meow aloud – "hashtag sexy, hashtag beast, hashtag epic … hashtag SELFIE!"

Darkstripe is still ogling over pictures of Willowpelt, who's doing a photo-shoot in StarClan, Rain is still knitting her extremely long scarf, and Hollyleaf is still playing Tic-Tac-Toe against herself, and since she is being very competitive, it's hard to decide which side wins. Yellowfang is busily texting Raggedstar. "Ooh, baby, you just crossed the line." She mutters to herself.

Suddenly, Hollyleaf's walky-talky crackles to life. Brambleclaw, senior manager of all CuteCatNetwork TV shows. "Hollyleaf? Get ready to start filming. Over."

"Yessir! OVER!" Hollyleaf hollers, grabbing her megaphone. Darkstripe swoons when he sees Willowpelt winking, but gets into position by his whiteboard. Brokenstar sighs and posts a pic of himself puckering his lips before leaping into his chair, and Rain stalks up into her camera chair on hind legs while still knitting. It's a talent that she has mastered very well.

"Welcome to another episode of What Would You Do!" Yellowfang announces. The crowd goes wild. "Here is your host – BROKENSTAR!"

Finally. She calls Brokenstar with his real name.

The crowd claps and cheers, and Brokenstar merrily waves.

"Today, our contestants are … Willowpelt, Willowbreeze, and Redwillow!" Yellowfang yowls. Dang – that's a lot of 'willows'! Brokenstar thinks. He shrugs. More fun for him, then!

As the two she-cats and tom pad onto stage, they each take a seat – Willowbreeze on the far left, Willowpelt in the middle, and Redwillow on the other end.

Brokenstar hears a sigh and CRASH. He turns, and finds Darkstripe on the floor. He has fainted at the sight of his 'secret crush', Willowpelt.

Brokenstar rummages under his disk and finds a PillowPet. He launches it at his assistant, and immediately, the dark tom jolts awake. Darkstripe writes the three cats names on the whiteboard, giving Willowpelt half the entire space and splitting the rest between Redwillow and Willowbreeze. He writes each of their names, doodling hearts beside Willowpelt's.

Brokenstar face-paws, but turns to face the contestants. "Welcome!" he meows. Willowbreeze dips her head politely, and Willowpelt strikes a pose towards the audience. "Get a load of me!" she yowls. There is a THUD!, and every single male in the audience faints at the pure hotness of her moves. Brokenstar rolls his eyes and throws a bottle of expensive champagne at her head. Willowpelt catches it, dumps out the PinenosePepsi that's already inside her cup, and refills it with the champagne. Brokenstar lets out a growl as she passes the bottle to Willowbreeze. When it's Redwillow's turn, he simply takes the bottle and lets it crash into the floor, the glass exploding and the champagne spilling into a pool of dark red-ness. The three front seats in the audience rush forward to get a good lick at expensive champagne. In seconds, the puddle is gone.

"Ahem. Yellowfang, what are our contestants playing for today?" Brokenstar declares. Yellowfang purrs sweetly: "You're all competing for a chance to visit Whitestorm's Museum/Collecction of White-Pelted Storm of Warriors, brought to you by IAmWhitestorm's#1Fan! Productions.

At this, Redwillow jumps up. "RACISM!" he screeches. Brokenstar pounds the table. "I know, right?" the leader hollers. "NO!" Willowpelt shrieks. "My baby is perfectly fine!"

Yellowfang looks out towards the crowd sheepishly. "Ah, nevermind that – instead, one of you will pay a visit to Rain's Purrfect Knitting Shop for Beginners, brought to you by Simply Rain Productions." Rain looks up from her camera seat. "Wha?" she meows absently. "Hmph," Willowpelt grumbles.

Brokenstar's heart starts to pound. He needs to win this! He can just imagine going with Rain …

"Ah. Well, first question-" he meows, "-what would you do if you had to pick between Mousefur's Mousy, Mousy, Munchables or Specklefur's Speckled, Speckled, Snackables?"

Willowpelt pounds on her button. "I cannot answer that question!" she yowls. "I do not eat snacks! I EAT DIETARY FRESH PRODUCE AND FRUITS AND VEGETABLES! And the occasional mouse." Willowpelt juts her left hip to one side. "That's how I got these sexy curves," she coos.

BAM! Darkstripe and the males in the audience have fainted again, and Brokenstar releases a hundred poison dart frogs into the crowd and one right next to Darkstripe's nose. That wakes them up pretty quick.

Brokenstar looks up at Willowpelt. "Spin the Wheel of Doom," he hisses maliciously. Then he throws his head back and laughs a very, evil laugh.

Willowpelt shrugs, gets up and sashays to the Wheel of Doom. The males (including Darkstripe) are about to faint again, but once they see the poison dart frogs, every single one bolts right back up.

Willowpelt gives the Wheel a powerful spin, then squints, waiting for the Wheel to come to a stop. When it does, she goes on her tip-toes, squinting. "Confess … your secret … crush." She says slowly. She jumps up and claps her hands. "Is it so secret? Whitestorm, of course! Any other male is nothing compared to Whitebaby!"

Brokenstar glances behind him and sees Darkstripe grab a box of Kleenex.

Willowbreeze takes that as her cue and pounds her own button. "Mousefur's Mousy, Mousy, Munchables of course!" she yowls. "My favorite comfort food!"

Redwillow literally jumps onto his button. "Nonsense!" he hisses. "SPECKLEFUR'S SPECKLED, SPECKLED, SNACKABLES ARE BETTER!" Willowbreeze leaps up. "Is not!" she cries.

"Is too!"

The two leap at each other, shrieking and clawing. "SPECKLEFUR'S SPECKLED, SPECKLED, SNACKABLES DOMINATE!" Willowbreeze screams. Redwillow gets in a good punch. "Never!" he hisses.

At that moment, Mousefur and Specklfur decide to come onto stage and give the two free bags of Mousefur's Mousy, Mousy, Munchables and Specklefur's, Speckled, Speckled, Snackables. Oh, yes – and autographs. Brokenstar himself gets a mixture.

"I like both," he declares. "The fighting was awesome too. Give them both THREE POINTS!"

"YES MASTER!" Darkstripe hollers, trying to suck up to Willowpelt. She sniffs disdainfully.

"Willowbreeze and Redwillow have three points, Willowbabe – no, Willowpelt – with zero points!" Darkstripe announces. Willowpelt doesn't even glance at the love-struck tom.

Brokenstar clears his throat. "Next question!" he meows. "What would you do if your mate committed suicide?"

Willowbreeze gently taps her button. Her eyes water. "Oh, that would be the most saddest thing!" she whispers. "I would commit suicide too – just to see him in StarClan."

"Awwww …." The crowd echoes.

Willowpelt slams on her button. "Ask him why the hell he would do something like that, and find a new mate. Anyone I like has to be mentally stable."

Darkstripe raises a paw. "I'm mentally stable!" he hollers. Willlowpelt ignores him. Darkstripe's paw falls to his side and his shoulders sag.

Redwillow pounds on his button. "I'm single so I do not answer that question!" he yowls. "In fact, I'll be single – FOREVER! Mates are just a waste of time when you could be DOMINATING THE WORLD!"

"YES!" Brokenstar agrees. "Because you didn't answer the question but I liked your response anyway – THREE POINTS! Willowpelt's was pretty good, two points for her, and zero for Willowbreeze – too sappy!"

Willowbreeze sniffs. "You have no heart," she mutters.

Brokenstar ignores her. "Final question!"

The three contestants perk up.

"What would you do if your granny knitted you a sweater – that's not in your size?"

Redwillow dings! first. "That would be HORRIFIC!" he gasps. "Granny just makes the best sweaters – what a waste if it's not in my size!"

Brokenstar nods. He is starting to like this Redwillow.

Willowpelt lazily taps her button next. "Granny's sweaters? Ew! SO LAST SEASON! I say it's a good thing that it's not in your size!"

Willowbreeze rings in next. "I would donate it to the Homeless Kitties Charity – for the greater good!"

Brokenstar nods in satisfaction. Willowbreeze sure is gentle. He turns towards Darkstripe. "Three points for Redwillow – again! Two for Willowbreeze and negative three hundred points for Willowpelt because her answer is absolutely despicable!"

Darkstripe nods. "That makes nine points for Redwillow, four points for Willowbreeze, and … negative two hundred ninety eight points for Willowpelt." Darkstripe straightens. "How's that for some quick math, eh?" he meows, raising his eyebrows in Willowpelt's direction. His tone is hopeful. Every cat in the audience knows he's dying to impress his crush. Willowpelt slumps. "Meh," she replies. Darkstripe's face falls.

"Wait!" Brokenstar yells. The whole set grows silent. "Because of the awesomeness I radiate," Brokenstar says grandly, "I deserve one million points because I, AM BROKENSTAR THE GREAT!"

Darkstripe's eyes widen and he draws a section for Brokenstar, then vainly starts making one million points.

Brokenstar jumps off his seat and heads towards Rain. "Why don't you join me in going to your own shop, Rainy?"
Rain sighs. "It's just Rain," she meows. "But sure."

Brokenstar beams. "Magnificent!" he booms.

Meanwhile, Redwillow is looking quite maddened. "Ahoy there!" he shrieks. Brokenstar looks up. "I WON!" Redwillow spits. "So I GET TO GO TO RAIN'S SHOP TOO!"

Rain arches an eyebrow. "It's just Rain's Purrfect Knitting Shop for Beginners," she meows. "But both you boys can come."

Brokenstar looks crestfallen. "But!"

Meanwhile, Redwillow lets out a whoop! "Yeah! More knitting lessons on how to make my Granny the purrfect sweater!" he hollers.

Willowpelt and Willowbreeze sigh and file out of the stage, while Rain leads the way out of the set. Hollyleaf turns the camera towards her. "See you next time on What Would You Do? Thanks for watching!"

Hollyleaf then turns off the camera.

Poor, poor Darkstripe. *sheds a tear* I think I'll need to use his box of Kleenex myself.(;

Review?

~Rain/ellie