A/N: Some spoilers for "Shouldn't You Be In School?".
Lemony Snicket - When Will You Be Satisfied?
Lemony had never known what it was like to be attacked like this before. It was savage, violent and brutal. It was cruel and inhumane, and that made the hazy thought float through his addled head that maybe this was exactly why they called themselves the Inhumane Society. That was stupid, he thought. Their name was stupid. Their brutality was stupid. The fact that he'd allowed Stew Mitchum to get the drop on him was stupid.
But none of that mattered. What mattered was that he was hurt, and badly. His mouth was full of his own blood, hot and bitter, and his side hurt badly; his back was sore and so was his face and so was his arm. He knew he would have bruises to show for it. And that was just it, he was injured. They had gotten the drop on him, but it could have been so much worse. Was this part of the job? Was this what happened when you were a volunteer and you asked the wrong questions?
Maybe it was and maybe it wasn't, but Lemony did not examine the idea too closely. He was hurt, and he had never known what it was like to be hurt like this before. He carried himself slowly, wearily to the one place he knew he'd be safe, a part of him secretly afraid that Hangfire would change his mind and let Stew come after him to finish the job. He'd put on a very brave face back there, but he had been terrified inside.
It wasn't the fact that Hangfire had said they were measuring him for a coffin, although that was an eerie thing to hear. It was knowing just how very easy it would have been for Stew to kill him, if Hangfire had decided to let him. It was seeing that viciousness, bloodlust burning in the larger boy's dark eyes, and realizing just how much he wanted to do it. Nothing could have been more horrifying than that absolute sadism.
Hangfire's eyes hadn't looked like that when he'd tried to throw him out the window of the Colophon Clinic. Hangfire had seen Lemony as a threat, and so he sought to remove him, as coldly and as as simply as that. Stew wanted to kill him, just for the sake of doing it, of seeing how it felt to take a life, and Lemony knew he would not have been able to stop him. He had been helpless before a madman. He'd got off easy.
He pushed open the door of Hungry's and staggered inside. His friends looked up to greet him and instead blinked and gasped in horror as they saw him. He must have looked worse than he'd thought- maybe even worse than he felt. He couldn't have said. He could barely speak just then.
It's true it would have been easy for Stew to kill him, but he hadn't. Hangfire had planned all along to make the attack restrained, a warning, probably because he so enjoyed flaunting his power. After all, he had showed up in front of the Department of Education just to see if he'd be recognized. It made sense he would stop Stew just to show that he could, if he wanted. It had shaken Lemony, but not his resolve. And with his friends gathered around him, taking care of him, he felt strong again despite the terrible pain.
He couldn't let a person like Stew hurt anyone else. He couldn't let that happen to one of the people with him now, taking care of him, tending his injuries and giving him food. That was why he had to press on. No matter what that villain had intended, the important truth was that he was alive now, and still able to do something about all the dark and sinister things happening in Stain'd-by-the-Sea. That was how he could tell Hangfire he wouldn't quit, right to the mask where his face should be, and mean it.
Lemony knew that not quitting meant that next time, Hangfire would not stop Stew from doing exactly what he wanted. He didn't say that to his friends, though. That was his part of the fragmentary plan; there were some things he needed to keep to himself. He had told himself to get scared later and he meant it just as much as he'd meant it when he said he wouldn't quit. No matter how hard that was to bear all alone.