Journey
27 de September, 1191
Limassol:
I don't know where to start this new part of my journal, so I'll go directly to the point. Tomorrow, I'll start a journey to study the apple more closely, but I won't be alone on this trip: by my side, there will be Maria and that is where my problem begins... don't understand me wrongly … there is nothing wrong with her, however there are things against:
The first is more obvious: we are two people, from different sex gender.
Most people will look at us and may see a cleric and his companion, but some will not… the difference will always be there and when they know that she knows how to fight, they won't accept it…
And I don't know how we are going to take it.
On the other hand, Maria is one of the bravest people I ever know… for example, one month and half ago, it was Majd Addin's funeral, and I was supposed to finish my job as I took Robert de Sable's life… I arrived there and knew he wasn't there… the man who was in his place was somewhat different, smaller… however, when I confronted him as well as the others Templars, I knew this one was special…. but I could never, even in my wildest dreams, imagine that 'he' was actually a she… Maria… it was the first time I saw her…
As the days passed, while in Masyaf, my thoughts about her grew every day and I wondered if we would have met again… someday, I hoped…
This day arrived, almost two weeks ago and ever since my feelings were mixed... It was clear for me that I was attracted for her, since we first met in Jerusalem… and after that day, in Acre, where we fought after her friends abandoned her, I knew I felt something for her just by hearing her name…
Could be something more strongly, maybe? Yeah, could be… I feel an anxiety for meeting the woman of my dreams… a woman capable of shaking my feelings… feelings I had beyond the bed, which I had divided with a few courtesans... I really thought this woman was Adha, but I can't know now because she died...
Adha or Maria? I think that I loved Adha and I swore to never feel this way again for any woman, but now… I wonder if this woman could be Maria… It was a fact, I have never met someone like her... determined, confident, brave, skillful with swords… besides, she still had an adventure spirit and had a great appetite for knowledge….
I also could see she was more than that and that the Templars clothes she once wore definitely didn't did her justice... not on the way I briefly saw her, dressed as a courtesan: her body was thin, but she had a few curves too, with a few disappearing scars on her body, minus mine, who was still there and her breasts...
Uh, it's better not to write this and to stop thinking this way about her… I don't want her to wake up and see the reaction my body is having right now... we are now friends and I would never do something to jeopardy this… I know that, if one day it happens, I'll be the luckiest man on Earth... if it's not… well… I just don't want to pressure her…
Let's get back to tomorrow's trip; I don't know what made me say I was going east too: keep an eye on her? To prevent she had any trouble? Or just to make her company? Maybe it was all the three possibilities... I don't know for sure, but something tells me to do this…
Which lead me to the other thing against us: I'm an Assassin and she was a Templar (I mean, an ex – Templar…) and our creeds are enemies, mortal enemies: we kill each other to survive… simple as that…
...
Altaïr sighed as he put the paint down and looked at his journal… the paint was almost dry and he soon could guard it… he normally wrote everything in Arab, but this he wrote in English… why? Did he want her to found it out?
Nah… he thought, stretching out his sore muscles, and then getting up from his chair.
Looking at the apple, his resolved to guard it… tomorrow he would start to study it, but not today… he had a lot to think about other things…
Altaïr then picked up his other things and finally walked into where Markos said they would sleep. He saw Maria sound asleep in the corner and decided to lie down, knowing he wouldn't sleep as she was… he was too wired to sleep…
X ~ X ~ X
PS: I know some people may strang the way Altair is thinking, but I put the same thoughts of the book The Secret Crusade.