Paste
Altaïr sat on the ground before the table and opened his diary, to write the next entry. He grimaced when he read the last entry.
01 of October, 1191:
I must have been pretty bad when I wrote on it the last time, for my last entry was a little sordid and this isn't what I had dim mind when I started this diary…
Let's get back... Maria said she didn't realize until now that I am the Leader of my Creed… I didn't said anything for her really, but after what she saw on Cyprus, with the apple and about what I said to her about the Templars, I thought it was clear…
On the other hand, she isn't a foretell... actually, she is a mystery to me... mainly on what she believes and defends… the two of us have the same purposes, but our methods are completely different…
I understand why she joined the Templars, after what happened between her family and she in England… it was a kind of fugue to her, but the fact she accepted to be commanded and subdued by people as Robert de Sable, no…
Even so, I noticed her reaction when I told her that Al – Mualim was a Templar… was she wondering if I was capable of doing the same thing to her? And when I talked about Robert de Sable... she tried to hide, but I saw her look… I was angry? Sadness? I can't tell, but it was something...
I still remember when she told a few days ago that she was his personal steward... what she meant by that is beyond me… Did he know the truth about her? If so, were they intimate or it was just sex to end all the frustrations, in the same way I used the scourts of Masyaf?
I don't know nor I want to... just thinking about that, let me angry… I also don't want to know about her ex – husband in England... for all I know he annulled the marriage, so he hasn't even her ex anymore… by the law, she wasn't even married…
I don't know, where this thoughts came by… maybe it was jealousy? I need to control myself!
Jealous… Anger… Love…
Al – Mualim used to say that these feelings made us weaker. Because of that, neither me nor my brothers felt the love from our parents... Me, I didn't knew my mother as she died when I was born... as my father was occupied, I was created by a woman when I was little… Galeba…
I don't agree with him: I guess a few feelings, such as love for example, make us stronger... and this is one of the changes I will do in our creed: an Assassin can love and show it for his wife and children! And this has to start with me...
But how I know that Maria is the one? Or even if she feels the same way towards me?
Doubts, doubts...
X ~ X ~ X
Closing the Diary and e putting it on the table, Altaïr looked in front of him and sighed. He knew he had to be careful... he would give her space...
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