"I kinda wondered what was going on," said Soos. "I just thought I was sleepwalking or something." Soos was sitting at the kitchen table. He was wearing Dipper's least favorite pajamas. They were banana yellow, and covered in silly pictures of cartoon ducks.
"I guess you are, in a sense," said Mabel. She was dabbing Soos's cheeks with a wet washcloth. "Geez Soos, what kind of werewolf eats an entire jar of grape jelly?"
"I'm just glad it wasn't blood," said Dipper. He was still looking through the book. Dipper was mesmerized by its contents. It was incredibly thick, and each page had a new horror. The idea that they would have to fight these things night after night filled him with dread.
"Me too," said Mabel. "I was worried about Waddles for a while there." Soos's face turned pale.
"I would never eat Waddles, werewolf or not," said Soos. Waddles, who had been pacing around the group, let out a snort. "See, he knows," said Soos. He scratched the pig behind the ear.
"Hold still," admonished Mabel. She was scrubbing a particularly stubborn spot of jam off his eyebrow. "There we go. All clean."
"Floating eyeballs?" asked Dipper. "Oh man, that is so gross."
"Maybe we should take a rest with that thing," said Mabel.
"But we have to read it!" said Dipper. "How else are we gonna know what's coming?"
"I kinda wish we didn't," sighed Mabel. "I'm kinda hoping this is all a really bad dream."
"Me too," said Soos. "I was saving that jam for a special sandwich." Mabel shook her head.
"Really Soos?" she asked. "You just found out that every full moon you're going to turn into a werewolf, and you're worried about a sandwich?"
"It was gonna be a really good sandwich," said Soos.
"Uh oh," groaned Dipper.
"No. No uh oh's," said Mabel. "I can't handle any uh oh's right now."
"Well you're gonna have to try," said Dipper. "Cause this is kind of a big one." He showed Soos and Mabel the page on werwolves. "Turns out the whole turning into a werewolf during the full moon thing is just a superstition. They turn more often than that."
"How much more?" asked Mabel. She looked at the book, and swooned. Soos caught her before she hit the ground.
"But it's all good dudes," said Soos. "We can just do that wolfsbane thing again. Did you put any more in that book?"
"No, there was only the one stalk taped in the book," said Dipper. "And it says here it's extremely rare."
"So we have a problem," said Soos.
"Yup. You okay Mabel?" asked Dipper.
"Soos... werewolf... every night..." Mabel's eyes were glazed over, and her tongue hung out of her mouth. She seemed off in her own little world.
"Hey!" shouted Dipper. He snapped his fingers in front of her face. Her eyes focused, and she put her tongue back in. "We don't have time for la la land right now. We have to make a plan for this. Unless you want to worry about being eaten every night, we need to find a way to help Soos."
"I don't understand," said Soos. "Nothing bit me."
"It doesn't have to," said Dipper. "It says here it's spread by..." Dipper blushed. "Um, physical contact." Mabel squealed and jumped away from Soos.
"Oh my God, why didn't you tell me sooner Dipper!" Mabel screamed. "I'm gonna be a werewolf! Oh no, think of all the shaving!"
"No, not normal physical contact," said Dipper. "Only, uh," he cleared his throat. "Intimate physical contact."
"Oh," said Mabel. A smile spread on her face. "Soos, you dog."
"Wolf, actually," said Soos.
"So, do you have a girlfriend that disappears every night?" asked Dipper. Soos frowned. "No," said Soos. "I met a girl at the diner a couple of days ago. We really hit it off, had a great time. I thought things were going great, but-"
"She left before nightfall," said Dipper. Soos nodded. "Well, at least you know it wasn't your fault. She just didn't want to eat you."
"Is it weird I kinda wish she had stayed?" said Soos. "Maybe we could have worked it out." "That's true love in the making," said Mabel. "If you can stay together when your significant other turns into a man eating beast, you can handle anything."
"Well I wish she had stayed," said Dipper. "She's the only way to cure you."
"What do you mean?" asked Soos.
"Says here that the only way to cure a werewolf is to..." Dipper trailed off. "Man, this book is just full of bad news.
"What!?" asked Soos. "What's the cure?"
"We have to kill her," said Dipper.
"Oh no," said Mabel. Soos shook his head.
"Well I'm not doing that," said Soos. "No way. So we're just gonna have to figure out something else."
"Agreed," said Dipper. "I'm not killing anybody."
"So what do we do?" asked Mabel.
"We Oz him," said Dipper. He closed the book, and began looking around the cabin.
"Oz me?" asked Soos. "You're gonna make me watch Judy Garland movies?"
"No, Oz from Buffy the Vampire Slayer," said Dipper. "When he turned into a werewolf, they locked him in a cage." Dipper smiled. "We don't have a cage, but I know where we can put you." He led Soos and Mabel to the back of the shack. They stopped in front of an empty display case. It was a cube of hard plastic, with a door carved in it. "There's no way Soos can get through this. This is industrial strength stuff," said Dipper.
"Isn't it kind of cruel though?" said Mabel. "Sticking Soos in this thing every night?"
"I'd rather be stuck in here than kill anyone," said Soos. "I won't remember it anyway."
"Okay," said Mabel. "But don't worry Soos. We'll look for another cure."
"Yeah," said Dipper. "This book can't know everything. We'll find a way to help you without hurting your friend." Soos smiled, and hugged both of the kids.
"Thanks guys," said Soos. He let them go, and looked at the clock. It was almost three in the morning. "You two should try to get some sleep. I'll lock myself in here in case the wolfsbane wears off."
"I don't think I'm gonna get a whole lot of sleep," said Mabel.
"Well we have to try," said Dipper. "We can't fight evil if we're super tired."
"All right, I'll try," said Mabel. The twins helped Soos into the display case. One he was in, they closed and locked the door.
"Good night guys," said Soos.
The twins left him in his case, and went to their respective bedrooms. Waddles curled up next to the display case, and watched Soos struggle to go to sleep. Despite the excitement, both were twins asleep as soon as they hit the pillow. An hour later, the front door opened. A tired Grunkle Stan wandered through the house. On his way to his bedroom, he saw Soos in the case. He stared at it for a second, then shrugged.
"Probably had too much to drink," Stan said. He gave Waddles a pat, and wandered off to his bedroom. "Weird pajamas though. Those ducks are just terrible."