Tambry and Wendy sat together in Wendy's bedroom. The window was open, and a cool breeze was blowing. Tambry was sitting in front of a mirror styling her hair. Wendy was laid out on the beanbag chair, flipping through a terrible paperback she had bought at a used bookstore.

"Oh my God, this is truly awful," said Wendy. "I figured it would be bad, but I didn't think it would be this bad."

"Why would you buy a book you knew was gonna suck?" asked Tambry. She took a bobby pin out of her hair and stuck it between her teeth.

"To learn how to write better," said Wendy. "I read good books, but I think reading bad books is just as important. It teaches you what not to do." Wendy turned a page. "Plus it's good fun. Kind of like watching a bad movie, except more booky."

"Well what is that book teaching you?" asked Tambry.

"A ton of really disgusting euphemisms," said Wendy. "It's all terrible similes and mixed metaphors."

"Oh, it's one of those books," said Tambry. She took the pin out of her teeth, and put it back in her hair. She had tried to give herself an updo, but had failed miserably. "My Grandma used to have a whole bookshelf full of them. I didn't understand what they were until I got older. And when I did, ugh, gag city. There is nothing romantic about those."

"I know!" said Wendy. "Who buys these?"

"Bored college students," said Tambry. "And my Grandma, apparently." She let her hair loose, and blew a strand out of her eyes. "Hey, where were you all day? I tried calling you, but your phone was off."

"I ran into Dipper," said Wendy. Tambry gasped.

"Scandal," Tambry said.

"How very valley girl of you," said Wendy. She flipped through several pages of the book, trying to find a less euphemistic passage.

"I know, I know," said Tambry. "I can't help it. So what happened?"

"We hung out," said Wendy. "He was totally chill. He understood that what happened in the past was just the past, and we moved on. So we went fishing, then we went bowling. It was..." she thought about Dipper holding her in his arms. He had gotten a lot bigger in five years. His muscles had come in, and he was wearing that beard. She had given him crap for it, but it made him look quite dashing. He wasn't that awkward twelve year old who she had fooled around with out of pity. He was a man now. "... fun," Wendy finished.

"Oh. My. God," said Tambry. She turned around to look at Wendy. "He's hot now, isn't he?"

"What?" Wendy hid her face behind her novel, and giggled. "Come on, why would you think that."

"He totally is!" Tambry was jumping up and down in her seat. "Oh man, you should see your face right now! You are so into him."

"I am not," said Wendy. "I will admit that he's changed a lot in five years."

"I cannot believe this," said Tambry. "You are something else Wendy."

"If you say so," said Wendy. There was a knock at the door.

"Mom, will you get that?" asked Tambry. There was silence. "Oh right, they're out." Tambry finished fooling with her hair, and walked out of the bedroom. She passed through the living room, got to the front door, and opened it. A wheezing, pale man stood in front of her. His white hair was stuck to his forehead, and his normally albino-like complexion was red with exertion. "Gideon?"

"I have to warn her!" shouted Gideon. He grabbed Tambry's shirt, and gasped for air. "She's in danger. My other me, he's... he's..."

"What the hell is your problem!" said Tambry. She pushed Gideon off her, and brushed off her shirt. "Listen wacko, I don't know what your deal is, or why you're here, but-"

"It's Wendy," said Gideon. "She's in danger."

"Danger? What are you talking about?" asked Tambry.

"She's-" Gideon stopped talking. He suddenly looked very frightened. He looked around, as if he was being watched. "He knows I'm here. Just tell her to be careful! It's coming for her!" He began to back away from Tambry. "Tell her to lock her windows. Tell her to keep vigilant, and trust no one. And for God's sake, tell her to stay away from Dipper Pines." Gideon then burst into a run, fleeing form Tambry's house as fast as his legs could carry him.

"What a weirdo," said Tambry. She slammed the door, and walked back to Wendy's room.

"Who was that?" asked Wendy.

"That Gideon kid," said Tambry.

"Gideon Gleeful?" asked Wendy.

"The one and the same," said Tambry. "Ugh, what a little creep."

"What did he want?" asked Wendy.

"I don't know," said Tambry. "He was all crazy and sweaty. I think he was having a spaz attack or something."

"Oh," said Wendy. "How's he doing anyway? Ever since his business collapsed..."

"He's working in a garage now," said Tambry. "My friends told me that he totally lost his mind. I didn't care one way or the other, but now I know they weren't kidding. If he had any marbles, they are long gone. I was worried he was gonna attack me or something."

"Poor kid," muttered Wendy. "He was a celebrity."

"Some celebrity," said Tambry. "He did say something about Dipper." Wendy put down her novel.

"Dipper? Dipper Pines?" asked Wendy.

"Do you know any other Dipper's?" asked Tambry.

"Good point," said Wendy. "What'd he say?"

"He said to stay way from him," said Tambry.

"What?" Wendy shook her head, and picked her book back up. "He doesn't have any business telling me who to stay away from."

"Like I said, total weirdo," said Tambry. The two talked long into the night, neither aware of what was going on opposite town. Neither was aware that across town Dipper and Mabel were battling a werewolf. Or that Gideon was in his room, a strange dark figure towering over him, telling him if he ever did that again he would be torn apart. Neither were aware that Robbie was at his house pacing back and forth, reciting a chant over and over again. He kept looking in a mirror, as if his perfect figure would be replaced by something horrifying. Neither were aware that Pacifica Northwest was in her room, bathed in terrible green light, speaking in tongues and casting spells of ill omen. And neither were aware that something that had slept for five years was slowly gaining power. That it was again ripping the fabric of space and time. That horrible creatures were worming their way into Gravity Falls. Neither were aware that two children would be kidnapped by a man with a pumpkin for a head, never to be seen again. That a man's date would bite into his neck and drain him of all his blood. That a child's nightmare of being stared at by floating eyeballs wasn't a nightmare at all. They weren't aware of anything amiss in Gravity Falls. They weren't aware of the truth.

Hell was coming to Gravity Falls.