A/N: Hey guys! Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter done. I know I said it would be a week and it was longer. But I got sidetracked by school, my book I'm writing, my other story, and some personal stuff. My little brother's close friend was killed in a car wreck yesterday. I was with my brother and his friends all day yesterday, as were all the parents, and one of their baseball coaches trying to help them cope with losing their friend. So that couldn't be helped.
Not trying to make this a super long AN, but I hope everyone likes this chapter. It's kind of a filler with Nathan and Brooke's POVs again. A little fluff, a small sex scene, and a little more fluff!
Once again, please check out my other story All Bets Are Off. I would really appreciate it. I'm hoping to have the next chapter to that one out by the end of this week!
Big thanks to Morgan, like always, for helping me. Love ya girly and I can't wait til this summer when you come down to Houston!
R.I.P. Andrew Sarabia. Everyone will miss you and we all love you!
Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill or its characters!
NPOV
The next day at school passed by in a blur. I'm not sure if it was actually the day going by so quickly or if it was my lack of sleep. Brooke and I hadn't slept at all the rest of the night after my dad had burst in the room with a baseball bat; which I still find slightly humorous. I think the lack of sleep is starting to mess with me. I mean, my dad ran in the room ready to beat the shit out of someone with a baseball bat and I find it funny.
Anyway, as I was saying, the day went by quickly. Our friends didn't really try to interact with us. Actually, no one interacted with us. I think Brooke screaming in her sleep kind of made everyone back off. The only person that did try to talk to us was Tim. Honestly, I was expecting Peyton since she thinks everything we go through is her business. Maybe slamming the door in her face was a good idea and made her realize to back off a little.
Flashback:
"Yo Nate!" I heard Tim shout as I walked into one of the only classes I had without Brooke, math. I looked at him for a second before sitting in my desk. Obviously, he didn't get the hint as he came and sat next to me.
"You alright Nate?" he asked quietly as to not draw attention to us. I looked to my left and gave him a look of pure annoyance.
"Sure, just fan-fucking-tastic Timmy," I drawled, not wanting to speak anymore than I had to. I feel awkward talking to anyone but Brooke now.
"Nate, you don't have to be so angry. I know you lost Molly, and it sucks dude, I know. But I'm still your friend. I know you and I know how bad you're hurting," he said sympathetically which just pissed me off even more.
"You know how bad I'm hurting? No Tim, you don't know. You don't know what it felt like having to watch Brooke give birth to a dead baby. You don't know what it felt like having to watch your daughter be buried. You don't know what it felt like to know that you would never get to see her grow up. And you have no clue what it feels like now. You aren't there Tim; you only hear the rumors going around. You don't know the truth to them. You don't know that Brooke wakes up screaming because she can't get rid of seeing Molly die over and over in her sleep. You don't know that I wake up shaking and crying because I see the same thing in my sleep. So don't sit here and tell me you know how bad I'm fucking hurting!" I spat at him, not bothering to talk in a whisper. Of course, all that did was grab the attention of the class and the teacher.
"Mr. Scott, if you can't stay quiet and pay attention, you're more than welcome to leave this room and go see Mr. Turner," my teacher said, turning her back to the class. I just shook my head and walked out of the room, going to sit in the gym until that period was over.
I figured Tim probably told the rest of our friends about that little break down I had. I wasn't proud of it. Brooke and I promised each other not to tell anyone about the nightmares. I just broke my promise to her. When class ended, I found her outside of her psychology class; she was wearing the hood of my hoodie up on her head again. I slid my arm around her shoulders and told her quietly what happened with Tim. To say she was upset was an understatement. She was down right pissed off at me. I apologized over and over. She finally forgave me at the end of lunch. Thank God! I don't know if I could have dealt with the silent treatment again.
"Hey Nate, are you hungry?" Brooke asked out of the blue. We had been locked in my room working on homework all night. I glanced at the clock on my nightstand; it was almost midnight.
"Yeah, I can eat. Besides, I'll need the energy to stay awake tonight," I replied, lazily getting off my bed. Peeking out of the room, I saw all the lights in the house off, meaning my dad was already in bed. Brooke preferred it this way. She liked not being around that many people now. We decided to start a routine. One of us would stay awake during the night so the other could sleep. Whoever didn't sleep got to sleep during history class the next day. We would eat a small lunch just to keep us going. After school, before my dad would get home, we would eat another small meal before locking ourselves in my room. After my dad went to sleep, we decided we would sneak downstairs and make ourselves a big meal that would give us enough energy to stay awake as long as possible.
"You want some breakfast?" I asked Brooke. She nodded her head yes, going to the pantry to get the pancake mix out. Brooke wasn't too skilled in the cooking department. I wasn't amazing either, but I had picked up a few things here and there. Growing up, Brooke's nanny taught me how to make pancakes just right, bacon not burnt, and eggs scrambled to perfection. The only thing Brooke learned was to make toast without the toaster catching on fire. She gladly started placing pieces of bread on the counter, ready to toast before jumping up to sit next to the stove, ready to watch me work.
An hour later, we were still sitting in the kitchen. I had finished breakfast and we ate at the breakfast bar next to each other. Eating together, we were silent. But it wasn't the awkward, tense silence that I had grown accustomed to the last few days. It was a peaceful silence. I know that we still have so much healing to go through. But it felt like for once, we could sit and enjoy each other without having to worry about nightmares or anything.
"You want to find something to do so we don't have to worry about falling asleep?" Brooke asked, getting another cup of coffee before refilling my cup. She stood at the counter and poured so much sugar and creamer in her cup that I wanted to gag. I'm not a big coffee fan but when I do drink it, I drink it black. All that other shit is gross.
"Like what?"
"I don't know. Board game?" she asked.
"We're not ten anymore. Besides, the last time we tried to play a board game, Peyton got so pissed that she lost that she broke the damn board over my head. Kind of turned me against board games!" I replied. Brooke burst out in laughter as she remembered that night. I just sat and watched her. It was nice to hear her laugh again. Maybe I was staring a little too much because she instantly stopped laughing when she noticed me looking at her intently.
"What?" she asked, her hand going to her face like something was on her.
"Nothing," I said shaking my head, "It's just good to hear you laugh again."
After saying that, she came over and wrapped her arms around my neck, leaning against me between my legs.
"Nate, I love you. You know that right?" she asked quietly, placing her forehead against mine. I nodded my head.
"I've always known that B! I love you too, you know that right?" I asked back.
"I know. To the moon and back!" she giggled, kissing my lips quickly.
"Now, how about some videogames? I'll let you pick which one!" I said, grabbing her hand and leading her up the stairs to my, or now our room. I had my dad go back to the apartment one day for me and clean it out. I didn't want to go back to that place. I told Haley that she and Lucas could have it now. Start their family there. I was happy right where I was with Brooke. Who was currently picking out a videogame.
"This one?" she asked, holding up my favorite, NBA Live. I nodded my head enthusiastically as she put it in.
"I knew you were cheating!" Brooke shouted, smacking me on the arm.
"I was not! You just suck at this game!" I laughed. She threw me a screw you look.
"I do not! I rock at this game, you just cheat too much!" she accused, a smile growing on her lips as she spoke. But as fast as it came, her smile vanished, replaced by a frown.
"What's wrong?" I asked in concern. She looked up at me with tears in her eyes.
"It hurts to be happy," she whispered. My heart broke at hearing that.
"Oh Brookie, come here," I mumbled, tossing my controller and taking her in my arms. I rubbed her back trying to calm her down when I felt her stiffen in my arms. I pulled away to look at her and was shocked by what I saw. I knew that look in her eyes, I knew what it meant. She always got that look right before sex. That kind of worries me.
"Nate," she whispered in her raspy voice before leaning forward to capture my lips with hers. As much as I know how wrong this is, I can't help it. The feel of Brooke's lips on mine is like a drug to me. I just can't stop.
Before I knew it, I was on my back, shirt off, pants unbuttoned, with Brooke straddling me. I reached up and removed her shirt as she started to work on her pants.
"Brooke, wait," I whispered. She made no move to stop. Instead, she stood up and pulled her jeans off, leaving only a pair of black lacy boy shorts with a black bra. I sat up, leaning back on my elbows, to take in the sight of her.
"Like what you see Natey?" she teased, straddling me again. I reached around her to the clasp on her bra, popping it off like a pro. Taking her right breast in my mouth, I reached a hand down and pushed the fabric of her panties aside, inserting one finger into her warmth. She gasped into my mouth, making me smirk against her lips. Without me even making another move, she started rocking her hips against my hand. Her moans excited me even further as I inserted another finger in her.
"Nate, please, I need you now!" she moaned into my mouth. That was all I wanted to hear. I ripped, literally ripped, her panties off. Her hands reached down to help me slide my pants down my legs. Boxers came next. All of a sudden, we were both naked, me hovering over Brooke. Her legs were rubbing up and down my legs, her hands rubbing circles on my back. I looked down at her and realized I couldn't go through with this.
"I can't do this," I whispered, rolling off of her.
"What?" she asked, sounding very angry. She sat up to look at me. I had my back turned to her. Looking over my shoulder, I saw her broken face.
"I'm sorry," I whispered again, slipping my boxers on and leaving the room. Walking downstairs, I felt so ashamed of myself.
"Nathan? What are you doing up?" I heard my dad's voice ask from the kitchen. Glancing down, I was grateful Nathan Jr. decided to go back to bed.
"Couldn't sleep. Why are you awake?" I asked him, taking a seat at the kitchen table. He came and sat next to me, handing me a beer while taking a swig of his own. I didn't even ask; it's not every day my dad hands me a beer.
"Couldn't sleep either. Molly's death is really getting to me," he answered. I was taken aback by his reply.
"You know dad, I'm really proud of you. I know it's probably weird to hear me say that, but I am. You really changed. And thanks for all your help with the funeral," I told him, taking a sip of my beer.
"It's not a problem Nathan. You're my son and Brooke is like a daughter to me. I love you both. Now, are you going to tell me what's wrong?" he asked, smirking at me.
"Why do you think something is wrong?"
"Nate, I'm your father. I may not have been the best at it or been around that much when you were younger, but I still know you. I can tell when something is bothering you."
I sighed, realizing he was right. I was like my mom in that way, I don't hide my emotions very well.
"Is it Brooke?" he asked quietly. I nodded my head with a frown, taking a long pull on my beer.
"I think I just did something very bad," I whispered.
"What happened Nate?"
"This is weird talking about with you."
"It's about sex isn't it?" he laughed. I rolled my eyes at him.
"Yeah. Brooke kind of started it and I went along with it. We made out, there was some touching, and right before we started having sex, I stopped. I couldn't do it. She broke down right before this happened and I could still see the tears in her eyes. I feel like such a dick, like I was taking advantage of her," I explained.
"She started it? And she was willing?" I nodded my head, "Then it wasn't taking advantage of her. This might sound odd, but maybe this is what you two need to begin healing. Maybe yall need to need each other in more ways than emotionally. It might do you some good."
"So let me get this straight; you; my father; are telling me to go upstairs and have sex with my girlfriend while you're in the house?" I asked with a smile.
"Maybe not tonight Nathan," he chuckled, "But eventually, yes. Maybe when I'm not here. Like next weekend, I'll be gone for a few days!"
"Okay, this has just become too weird. I feel like I've just entered the Twilight Zone. I'm going to bed now!" I laughed, throwing my empty beer away and leaving the room, hearing him laugh behind me.
BPOV
He just left. I can't believe this. I just laid there, naked, ready for him and he just got up and left. Mumbled "I'm sorry." Bullshit. If he was sorry, he wouldn't have let me start that to begin with.
"B?" I heard his whisper. I turned my back to the door to see him walking back into the room.
"What?" I sneered, turning to face him. He closed his eyes after looking at me, walking to the closet. He came out holding one of his larger t-shirts, walking up to me.
"Put this on please. I can't concentrate if you're naked!" he said quietly. I took the shirt from him and slipped it over my head. It came down to my knees, covering me completely. Not like it matters if I'm covered or not; he obviously doesn't want me like that anymore.
"I'm sorry Brooke," he mumbled, sitting down on his side of the bed. He's always slept on the right side of the bed, me curled up into his side in the middle of the bed.
"You're sorry? For what?" I asked rudely, "Leaving me again? I needed you Nathan and you walked out!"
"Brooke, you're not ready for that yet."
"How the hell would you know?"
"B, you can't sleep, and if you do, you have horrible nightmares. You obviously weren't in the right state of mind," he stated. I can't believe he's saying this right now. What the hell does he know? He has no idea what I'm thinking or what state of mind I'm in. So yeah, I just lost my daughter. I get that. But I just wanted my boyfriend to want me. I needed the comfort of his love to help heal me. Is that so hard to understand?
"You know nothing Nathan."
"Brooke, I know you. And I'm pretty sure I explained that the other day at the cemetery. I know you better than you know yourself! You feel vulnerable right now and you hate that. You want me to heal you but I know sex isn't the right answer. As good as it sounds, and trust me, it sounds amazing, it's not the answer right now. And I'm sorry for that. But maybe we should just try to deal with these nightmares first," he said. And as much as I don't want to admit it, he was right.
"So you do still want me?"I asked quietly, sitting in front of him on the bed.
"Of course I do B. And I swear to you, once we deal with these nightmares and finally get some sleep, I will show you exactly how much I want you," he whispered, leaning forward towards me. I bit my lip self consciously, hoping for a kiss. And I got it. A breath taking, seeing stars, leave me panting for breath kiss.
"I love you Brooke," he said against my lips.
"I know you do. I love you too. To the moon and back," I giggled.
A/N: Like it? Hate it? Let me know!