Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

Daaaayum! Y'all were loving jealous Medward more than Nerward!

I won't keep you …

BPOV

"Turn around and face the wall, Bella. You're going to need to brace yourself."

Angry wall sex, angry wall sex. ANGRY. WALL. SEX!

I turned to face the wall and placed my trembling hands flat, a little more than shoulders width apart. I felt Edward stand behind me as he placed his hands low on the outsides of my thighs. The pads of his fingertips dug roughly into my flesh as he trailed them slowly upwards until he reached the hem of my red lace panties. His fingers curled around the lace tenderly before he took me by surprise and ripped them off of my body. I gasped at the slight sting as the fabric cut into my skin, the way it was pulled tight and then slithered deliciously across my sensitive flesh.

Edward kicked my feet apart as he held on to my hip, pressing his prominent erection into my now bare cheeks. Scrub pants don't hide much! I was panting against the wall, my hot breath creating small circles of condensation on the blue paint. My body was already trembling with want; every nerve ending was on alert.

I felt the cool air hit my bottom as Edward lifted my skirt and flipped it up over my lower back. His palm smoothed over the curve of my ass before he pulled it back and snapped it forward to smack me. Hard. I yelped and moaned, rolling my hips in friction-seeking desperation.

"Bella," Edward said in a low, gravely voice, "Mmmm, baby you look so good bent over and spread out for me."

Holy hell. For as wet as I was, you'd think it'd do a little somethin' to put out the fire. If you know what I'm sayin'.

"Keep your hands on the wall. Understand?" I heard him push down his scrub pants, and then felt him slide his cock through my wetness, teasing me. "I asked you if you understood."

FLOOD WARNING: Dirty Talking Edward.

"Yes, sir," I whimpered. I heard him groan, presumably at my playing along, before he slammed into me.

"Ooooooh FUCK!" I cried out. He filled me to the brim, pulsing and hot.

"SShhhhhiiiiit, Bella!" he groaned, "So fucking tight."

I clawed at the wall, my head hanging down as I took in the sensations ripping through me. Edward had a firm grip on my hips, pounding into me with unexpected force. I rolled my hips back into him, meeting his thrust with as much vigor as the position would allow. His movements were swift, deep, and deliberate. One hand slid up my spine as he grabbed my shoulder and pushed me over further, allowing him more leverage.

"Oooooh, y-yesssssss," I hissed at the new angle, the head of his dick hitting against the elusive g-spot.

"Anytime some other guy so much as looks at you, B, I want you to remember who makes you scream," Edward growled between clenched teeth.

I moaned in response since forming any sort of coherent answer was sure to be impossible. That apparently wasn't what Edward was looking for because he slapped my ass again and started drilling into me harder. The sound of slapping skin filled the air.

"Who, Bella? Tell me who makes your scream?" he roared.

"YOU!" I bellowed and groaned, "Only you!"

I could feel my muscles tightening low in my belly, quivering tingles making my knees weak.

"Ohhh, Edward! I'm gunna… I'm gunna…." I gasped, looking over my shoulder at him.

"YES Bella! Cum for me, my love."

"Ohgodohgodohgod," I chanted as a came harder than should be possible, "Mmmmeeedddwwaarrddd!"

"Fuuuuuuuuuck, baby!" The tempo of his thrust became erratic and even more staccato before he stilled completely and came inside of me.

Before my legs could collapse, Edward looped his arms around my waist, turning us, and sliding down the wall to the floor. We sat there, sweaty and panting, for an undetermined amount of time. My head rested back on his shoulder as he drew lazy circles on my tummy.

I squirmed a little bit when my legs started to go numb, which in turn caused Edward to seize my hips and stop them from moving. I was about to ask him what was wrong when I felt him hardening inside of me. Smirking, I twisted my top half to look at him. His cheeks were still flush and his eyes were darkening as fast as his cock was hardening. That face sent a shiver down my spine and a gush of arousal to my center.

A slow grin took over my face, "Up for a little reverse cowgirl, my love?" I said as I started to rise and fall over him.

He closed his eyes and groaned before gripping my hips and leaning forward to bite my shoulder.

xXxXxXxXxXx

The six of us were sitting at The Pelican Café for breakfast two weeks after Halloween, enjoying breakfast together and talking about our plans for Thanksgiving. The view was breath taking across the water and it made me wonder why we didn't come up here more often.

The only thing? The waitress was flirting with our guys, and we three girls were none too happy about it. The guys, of course, were oblivious to it and carried on like a bunch of goons.

"Here are your menus guy… and, girls," one surgically bouncy blonde chirped, batting her eyelashes and sticking her chest out.

"Thanks," Edward said, taking the menu from the girl and turning to me. "Baby, what's good here, I'm fucking starving."

The Boob huffed and turned to hand out the other menus. She was still trying to flirt with the guys and I was concerned, minutely, for her safety as I took in Alice and Rosalie's expressions. Alice turned an alarming shade of red when The Boob bounced as she brushed imaginary lint from her shirt. Rosalie was eerily calm as she strategically placed her left hand, sporting the rock, directly over Emmett's crotch and gave it a little squeeze. Emmett, who had been completely engrossed in the food offerings of the café, jumped a mile high in his seat and looked at Rose. In a flash he fisted Rosalie's hair and kissed her hard. The other 5 of us, including The Boob, stared at them in astonishment until they came up for air. Emmett looked extremely proud and dazed as he sat there looking at the menu, cheesin' like picture day. Rosalie sat back in her chair and wiped at her smudged lip gloss before throwing The Boob a smug 'bitchface'.

You don't mess with the bitchface.

"I'll have half a grapefruit, a bowl of granola with 2% milk, and a glass of pulp-free orange juice," Rosalie clipped.

After standing there in a shocked stupor, The Boob shook her head and wrote down Rosalie's order, and then turned to Emmett.

"I'll have one of everything in your Ala Carte section, with chocolate milk, please."

"The whole Ala Carte menu, Emmett? Really? You know this isn't your last meal. We will feed you again," I chuckled.

Emmett shrugged, pulling at the sleeve of his shirt, "Gotta keep my stamina up." He looked up with a saucy grin and side eyed Rose.

"Meanwhile, back at the ranch…" I mumbled before turning to The Boob. "I'll have the Sunrise Special with a Coke, please."

"Is Pepsi ok?" The Boob cut in.

"I don't know. Is monopoly money ok?" I snarked as I looked though the menu again, my friends trying to stifle laughs at Boob's confused face. "Cranberry juice, please."

"Eggs Benedict with water, please," Edward said as he leaned over to me and placed a soft kiss on my shoulder.

I smiled at him shyly and bit my lip, my smile growing when I heard the waitress huff. Alice and Jasper ordered next, but I couldn't hear their orders over my increasing pulse. Edward was sucking lightly on the juncture of my neck and shoulder, his hand travelling slowly up my thigh.

"If those guys don't stop leering at you, I'm going to bend you over and take you right on this table so they all know you're mine."

WHOA! Wet panty alert!

"Edward," I hissed, "you can't say shit like that when I can't do anything about it!"

Edward chuckled and leaned over further to put his lips to my ear. "Say shit like what, Bella? Shit like how wet you get for me? How if I pay attention hard enough I can feel your pulse from your clit on my tongue? How when you get that wet for me, my fingers slide in smoothly so I can fuck you with my fingers? Shit like that? Mmm Bella, I want to be inside you right now."

He emphasized this statement by taking my hand and placing it on his very prominent bulge. I had to close my eyes and take a deep breath to regain some sort of composure. Swallowing hard, I turned to look him in the eye. His eyes were closed and his brow was furrowed, a small smirk gracing his lips. That little shit was picture bending me over the table! Oh god…

"Stop it!" I nearly yelled. His eyes flew open and looked at him with aroused amusement.

"What?" He asked innocently.

"Oh don't play dumb with me! You were just picturing bending me over this table to…" I trailed off when Edward's eyes and smile widened.

Mortification set in at the same time as realization did. I had just broadcasted my sexual fantasy to the entire patio section of the café. Alice was trying not to laugh; Jasper was concentrating awfully hard on the ingredients listed on the packet of sugar. Sugar! Rosalie was looking at me with a raised eyebrow, while Emmett rocked back and forth in his chair with his hands over his ears.

"So, uh…" I stammered. "What do you all want to do today?"

"Something crazy," Alice mentioned, leaning her elbows on the table and tapping her chin with her dainty index finger.

"Like what, darlin'?" Jasper asked.

"Tattoos."

"Uh… what?" Jasper looked around the table to see if we all had heard what he just heard.

"Tattoos. Let's all go get tattoos. It'll be fun!" Alice clapped her hands together and looked at us as though she had just found the cure for cancer.

"Tattoos… tattoos," Rosalie mumbled. "I'm in."

"Me, too," said Emmett.

Alice looked over to me and Edward.

"Sure," I said.

Edward just shrugged and nodded.

"Here we are." The Boob came back and set our drinks on the table. "I checked with my manager, and she said that no, we don't accept monopoly money."

xXxXxXxXx

We were all standing in the tattoo shop later that afternoon in various states of tattoo-ed-ness... Jasper got the outline of a Texas longhorn head that was filled in with the Texas flag on his right arm. Alice was in the chair getting a dandelion on the back of her right shoulder that looked as though the seeds were being blown off. Rosalie got a design that had stars and swirly things that made up the stem to a hibiscus flower; it ran along her ribs on the left side down to her stomach. Edward was getting his stencil put on, a set of piano keys for his left arm, the view being from key level. Emmett was looking through the books trying to find a design he wanted. And me? I was laying face down on the chair, biting the leather to keep from screaming. I was getting a detailed set of hibiscus flowers on a vine that curled around my right shoulder blade. And it hurt like a bitch! I was keening, moaning, and crying out in pain as the needle pushed and tore through my skin. My pain was having the opposite effect on the tattoo artist, as from my vantage point, I could clearly see him getting hard.

"Distract me," I demanded when Edward walked in to sit next to me. I was thankfully almost finished.

"What?" he asked with an adorable 'concentrate face'.

"Distract me from the pain! Prattle on about anything!"

"Oh, uh… my parents are coming out here for Thanksgiving."

What?

"What?" My head popped up to look at him, having to blow some hair out of my face in the process.

"Yeah, um, they'll be here in about two weeks. I was hoping that, you know since you can't spend it with your mom, that maybe you'd ?"

"What was that at the end there?"

"Bella, would you like to spend Thanksgiving with me and my parents?"

I smiled at his nervousness. "Are you asking me to meet your parents, baby?"

He shuffled his feet and tried, unsuccessfully, to suppress a grin. "Yes."

"I'd love to."

"Yeah?" he repeated, looking hopeful.

"Yeah," I chuckled.

The smile that took over his face could rival that of what mine looks like when we pull in to the parking lot at Disney World. He sat in a chair next to me and held my hand, not even wincing when I would squeeze too tight.

"So, they'll be here in two weeks and will be staying for a week," he said once we had switched places in the chair.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I was thinking that I could take you to lunch with them after I picked them up from the airport, to take some of the pressure off of Thanksgiving."

"What day? Do you know yet?" I asked, knowing that I had an event to Emcee for around that time.

"The afternoon of the 20th, are you busy?"

"Oh, yes actually. I have to Emcee at the FABAIC that morning in Wellington, but I should be finished by 1pm, I could meet you somewhere."

"I could pick you up," he offered.

"Ok, yeah. That'd be nice," I said with a shy smile.

We were making googly eyes at each other when the screeching of Rosalie permeated our love bubble.

"I know you did not just fucking get that tattooed on your fucking ass!"

We bolted from the room, the artist having just finishing taping Edward's arm, to find Emmett standing with his back to a full length mirror with his pants dropped below his butt and his torso twisted around to look at his…

Holy shit.

There on Emmett's right ass cheek, tattooed forever, was the little toadstool from Nintendo's Super Mario Brothers, waving 'hello' to the world.

"Aww c'mon Rosie, he's cute!" Emmett defended his little friend.

"Cute, Emmett? Really?" Rosalie bitchfaced.

"I think it's fitting," Jasper stated.

"How so?" Alice asked, tilting her head to take in the *ahem* cheeky character.

"Toadstool always cries like a little bitch…"

xXxXxXxXxXx

How the fuck had I been talked in to this?

Oh that's right, I hadn't been. Damn you Headphone Karaoke!

FABAIC, or Face and Body Art International Convention, was a yearly event that showcased Face Painting, Body Painting, Airbrush Art, Henna, FX Special Effects, and Glamour Make-Up. Every year renowned artist, Marcela Murad, hosted the event. Artist from around the world would come to paint people's faces and bodies, often with them dressed in only a thong. The work they did was absolutely breathtaking. So detailed and intricate, it really is an art form!

And losing that fucking game is what had me standing here at the FABAIC event in just a nude thong and pasties with Mr. I-like-to-eat-lots-of-garlic far too close to my lady bits.

Mr. Garlic was busy painting my ass, literally, to look as though I were wearing a pair of denim skinny jeans. Mrs. Garlic had painted my top half to look like I was wearing a pink corset.

Well, at least it looks like I'm clothed.

If it weren't for the damn Bee Gee's and their need to 'Stay Alive', I could have made it out of this thing with a simple butterfly on my face. Oh well, at least I didn't know anyone here.

"Bella?"

Are you fucking joking?

"Heeeey, Edward," I blushed and turning away from Mr. Garlic.

There, in the fucking flesh, were Edward and, who I assumed to be, his parents. His mom was beyond beautiful, with big caramel colored curls and a tiny Alice-sized frame. Her green eyes were as wide as saucers as they look in my painted nakedness; particularly my pasty-clad breasts. Edward's dad was every bit as handsome as he was. Tall, blonde, and with eyes so blue the inlet water looked murky in comparison. He was blatantly staring at my ass. Hmm, guess we know where Edward gets it from. His mouth was slightly parted until he realized that I was looking. With a snap, his mouth closed and he looked to my face in approval.

Glad you consent, Daddy C.

"Uh, what are you up to, baby?" Edward asked, clearly confused.

"I lost Headphone Karaoke." Because that totally explains my nakedness with Mr. Garlic drooling inches from my hoo-ha.

"Oh, well uh, my parents got in a little early, so we thought we'd stop by," he said unsurely. "Is that alright?"

"Yeah! Of course! I just have to walk around for like an hour and do interviews to get sound bites. Then, you know, shower and we can go!"

"Alright. Bella, these are my parents Carlisle and Esme. Mom, dad, this is my Bella," he introduced with a grin.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Cullen. Sorry about all of this, the Morning Show makes us do crazy things," I enlightened.

"Oh we don't mind, this is really neat! And please, call me Esme." Her little hand reached for mine, eyes still glued to my boobs.

Well, I guess every ass man has a boob counterpart.

"And me, Carlisle," he said to my ass, "This is amazing. The paint is so realistic."

He leaned over further to inspect- you got it! My ass. Edward's eyes went wide as he nudged Carlisle's shoulder. Unabashed, he straightened up and gave Edward a not so subtle 'thumbs-up'.

For the next hour and a half I lead Edward and the parentals around to all the hotel conference rooms that were showcasing different categories of body art and effects. Esme asked a million questions about all the radio equipment and how I got into the field. And if my boobs were naturally perky.

After the awards were handed out and the interviews were finished, I left Edward, Esme, and Carlisle in the lobby so that I could go up to the station's room to shower and changed.

I found them in front of the swan ponds in the reception area. As soon as Edward saw me, he smiled brightly and met me half way across the lobby. He gave me a searing kiss, groping my (real) jean clad ass brazenly, holding no regard for the fact that his parents were right the fuck over there.

"Edward!" I reprimanded, playfully slapping his shoulder.

"Sorry," he chuckled.

"No he isn't," Esme giggled, "His father's the same way.

Her statement was punctuated with two identical 'slaps'; one to me from Edward, the other to Esme from Carlisle.

"Well, son, are we going to play grab-ass for the rest of the day, or are you going to feed us?" Carlisle joked.

Edward made an animated motion to my backside and went to answer in favor of the former.

"We'll feed you," I interrupted, grabbing Edward's hand and dragging him through the front doors behind me.

"She does have a very nice backside," Esme conferred.

Awesome.

A/N:

Author FAIL, bbs! I had writer's block like WHOA for this chapter. Ugh, was. Not. Feeling it. Anywhoo, lunch with the crazies and Thanksgiving next chapter.

Bella's tattoo is actually my friend Sheila's. She lives next door and helps me be funny.

Tattoo links on my author's page.

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